Friday, October 31, 2008

Remembering Dad

October 29 was the seven year anniversary of Dad's passing.

I suppose most people are biased to think that their own Dad is a great man. I could go on with my own version at length, but a handful of things stand out:

- When I was about four, he gave up a promising career in business to find a job closer to home so that he could spend more time with us.

- In my first year of T-ball, Dad noticed that my coach was pretty half-hearted about the job, often lying down in the outfield while instructing us. So the next year, and every year afterward, Dad coached us. He did the same thing with soccer, and what made that more impressive to me is that he had never played it in his life.

- During a breakup with a girlfriend, he offered to drive down to college a couple of hours away to talk about it.

- When he was diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer, he tried every ravaging experimental treatment they could find. As his weight dropped to nearly half, as the mere act of standing up became intensely painful, and as he reached the point where he was too weak to even walk, he continued to work at the high school even though at 66 he could have already been retired. "I'm not going to just give up," he said. Since he outlasted a 6 month diagnosis by 12 more months, I'd say he still managed to win.

As devoted and tireless as Dad was, I probably shouldn't have been surprised when over 1,000 people showed up at his visitation and funeral. When I strive to become "Mr. Positivity" I often count my blessings as a way to set aside negative feelings. And it'd also be good to remember Dad.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

AP Poll: Obama Now Leads In 8 Crucial States

WASHINGTON – Barack Obama now leads in four states won by President Bush in 2004 and is essentially tied with John McCain in two other Republican red states, according to new AP-GfK battleground polling.

The results help explain why the Democrat is pressing his money and manpower advantages in a slew of traditionally GOP states, hoping not just for a win but a transcendent victory that remakes the nation's political map. McCain is scrambling to defend states where he wouldn't even be campaigning if the race were closer.

Less than a week before Election Day, the AP-GfK polls show Obama winning among early voters, favored on almost every issue, benefiting from the country's sour mood and widely viewed as the winning candidate by voters in eight crucial states — Colorado, Florida, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Virginia.

"If you believe in miracles," said GOP consultant Joe Gaylord of Arlington, Va., "you still believe in McCain."

Despite a mounting chorus of Republicans predicting their nominee's demise, McCain aides insist their internal surveys show victory is still within reach.

Indeed, polls are mere snapshots of highly fluid campaigns, and this race has been unusually volatile. McCain was written off prematurely last year, and Obama seemed poised for victory in New Hampshire's Democratic primary just before Hillary Rodham Clinton thumped him.

Even this close to Election Day, racial tensions and the numbers of late-deciding voters identified by the AP-GfK polling leave room for doubt. But the surveys confirm what McCain aides acknowledge privately — their chances of winning are low.

The polling shows Obama holding solid leads in Ohio (7 percentage points), Nevada (12 points), Colorado (9) and Virginia (7), all red states won by Bush that collectively offer 47 electoral votes. Sweeping those four — or putting together the right combination of two or three — would almost certainly make Obama president.

It takes 270 electoral votes to win the White House. Obama can earn 252 by merely reclaiming states won by John Kerry in 2004. There are only two Kerry states still in contention — Pennsylvania with 21 votes and New Hampshire with four — and AP-GfK polls show Obama leading both by double digits.

Ohio alone has 20 electoral votes. Nevada has 5, Colorado 9 and Virginia 13.

In addition, Obama is tied with McCain in North Carolina and Florida, according to the AP-GfK polling, two vote-rich states Bush carried in 2004. Obama is throwing his time and money into the Sunshine State, which has 27 votes, part of a strategy to create many routes to victory and push toward a landslide of 300 or more electoral votes. North Carolina has 15 votes.

Independent polling suggests that New Mexico and Iowa, two traditionally GOP states, are out of reach for McCain. Other red states may be creeping away from him and into contention, including Montana.

The bottom line: McCain must overtake Obama in the many red states where he is trailing or tied — a tall order. Or he needs to gain some breathing room by winning Pennsylvania, where he trails by 12 percentage points, according to the AP-GfK poll.

Many of his own supporters say the race is all but over.

"I get the sense it's shutting down," said Tom Rath, a GOP consultant in New Hampshire where McCain trails by 18 points.

He added, "Where there's a week, there's hope."

A couple of factors might cut McCain's way.

First, there are still a good number of voters are open to changing their minds — from as low as 4 percent in Nevada to 14 percent in New Hampshire.

Second, the impact of race is a hard-to-measure factor as Obama seeks to become the nation's first black president.

In three states — North Carolina, Florida and Pennsylvania — the number of white Democrats who said the word "violent" described most blacks hit double digits in the polling.

In those same states, Obama was having trouble winning over white Democrats — 20 percent of them in North Carolina said they were voting for McCain; 12 percent in Florida and 8 percent in Pennsylvania.

A senior GOP aide in Congress, speaking on condition of anonymity to avoid angering his presidential nominee, said McCain's advisers are being asked by some Republican leaders to focus the candidate's travel on states with close Senate races — essentially abandoning his White House ambitions to help re-elect GOP senators.

But it's Obama who may have coattails. Democrats lead the Senate races in Colorado, New Hampshire and Virginia, according to AP-GfK polls. In North Carolina, GOP Sen. Elizabeth Dole is essentially tied with state Sen. Kay Hagan.

In all four of those Senate races, the Democratic candidate leads among early voters, a sign of a strong ground game driven by the top of the ticket. Obama easily outpaces McCain among early voters, holding about a 2-1 advantage in six of the states.

Obama is favored on almost every issue in every state, the polling says:

_Voters in all eight states gave him the highest marks on whom they trust to fix the economy and improve health care.

_Even on the question of "who would make the right decision about national security," typically a strong suit for McCain, Obama holds a slight lead in Nevada and is running even against his GOP rival in Colorado, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania and Virginia.

_By large margins, voters in each of the eight states consider Obama the likely winner Tuesday.

_Voters in each state believe McCain has run a far more negative campaign.

The political landscape tilts against McCain. Just 8 percent of voters in New Hampshire think the country is headed in the right direction. Three-quarters of voters in Pennsylvania disapprove of Bush's job performance. Nine in 10 voters in North Carolina are worried about the economy.

"People will vote for change, and Barack Obama represents that change," said Gaylord, the GOP consultant in Virginia. Speaking of McCain, he said: "And try as he will — and he has — to be the candidate of change, he could not. He could not overcome the weight of George Bush's failed policies."

The AP-GfK Battleground State Poll was conducted from Oct. 22-26 in eight states. It involved interviews by landline telephone with likely voters in each state, ranging from 600 in Florida and New Hampshire to 628 in Nevada. The margin of sampling error was plus or minus 3.9 percentage points in Colorado and Nevada, and 4 points in the other states.

One Last Lecture

An inspirational lecture from a dying college professor:

http://video.stumbleupon.com/?s=ithct48cqw&i=ufcchmyxqsuj9vwsemax

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Baby Talk

"Everyone gets excited about a baby. Except the baby. It's no fun being a baby.

They don't know they're going to grow. They're born, they look down, they think, 'Well, this is it. This is the body I've got. Tiny hands, giant head, bad plumbing. Where am I going to find a tie three inches long?'

And at 6 months old they immediately put you in charge of complicated toys you have no idea how to operate." -- Jerry Seinfeld

4 Surprising Signs You'll Live A Long Time

From the internet:

We all know the obvious ways to add years to your life: Don't smoke, eat your veggies, wear a seat belt (even in the backseat). But there are other, lesser-known habits and attributes that can help you live to a ripe old age.

YOU SKIP SODA (EVEN DIET)
I finally kicked my diet cola habit in my 20s, a good thing too, because scientists in Boston recently found that drinking one or more regular or diet sodas every day doubles your risk of metabolic syndrome-- combination of conditions that increase your chances of heart disease and diabetes. The exact culprit isn't completely understood, but it could be the caramel color added to colas and other dark sodas, which increased the risk for metabolic syndrome in animals. Experts also speculate that exposing your tastebuds to the sweet fizzy flavor of soda conditions you to crave sugary foods, which can lead to weight gain. Whatever the reason, it's an easy enough habit to quit. Club soda (sodium free, of course) with a splash of juice satisfies the fizz craving with just enough sweetness. For a good alternative, try Sassy Water.

YOUR LEGS ARE STRONG
Lower-body strength means you also have good balance, flexibility, and endurance. While you probably care more about how your legs look in a mini and a pair of knee-high boots right now, as you get older those attributes reduce your risk of falls, injuries, and hip fractures, all of which are associated with declining health in older folks. So do some squats, lunges, and stair climbing to look good now-- and be strong and healthy later. It's win-win! Get up to 10 pounds lighter and take 10 years off your body with this workout.

YOUR MOM HAD YOU YOUNG
If she was under age 25, you're twice as likely to live to age 100 as someone born to an older mom, according to University of Chicago scientists. The reason, they suspect, is that younger moms' best eggs go first to fertilization, which may mean healthier offspring.

YOU EAT AND DRINK PURPLE THINGS
Red wine, concord grapes, blueberries (okay, not quite purple, but close enough) all get that deep rich color from polyphenols- compounds that reduce heart disease risk and may even protect against Alzheimer's disease, according to new research. So crack open a bottle of Pinot (don't overdo it), snack on some grapes, or make a blueberry pie and ponder all the years that lie ahead. Talk about happy and healthy!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Would You Rather?

"Forget about being clever or impressive. What is called for now is quiet integrity." - Susan Scott

Dena mentioned a game called "Would You Rather" which poses choices with no good answer and lets you explain your choice. One question was:

"Would you rather have a dumb leader who is honest, or a deceitful leader who's brilliant?" I didn't have to ponder long. Trust is the foundation of human greatness. Give me the first guy any day.

The Ten Mistakes

Church officials were stunned by police reports of a man who unwittingly broke all ten commandments in a single incident Sunday night.

Rick Kutz, an investment banker from Rockford, was leaving a romantic encounter at the home of his mistress when he spotted a golden replica of Michael Jordan in the garage and swiped it. When police responded to the disturbance, Kutz fatally wounded the first officer on the scene with a blow to the head. In the standoff that followed, Kutz first claimed that his "God d--- mother and father put me up to this," before changing his story and surrendering, all the while justifying his actions as "showing proper honor to a basketball god."

American English Concert

As part of Eureka College's homecoming week Dena and I checked out the free concert of American English, a Beatles tribute band that knows its stuff:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqCINiVdf-4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioQEAQpaomw&feature=related

I was surprised to see such a mix of ages there, little kids dancing with glow sticks and grandparents doing a hip shake of their own. At one point during the song "All You Need Is Love" people put their arms around each other and swayed to the music. I gained a little deeper appreciation for their talents too. Watching "George Harrison" riff on the electric guitar was in another world from my strumming chords in the basement. Listening to "Paul McCartney" scream whole verses repeatedly was a humbling reminder of the vast talent out there.

What a trip!

Long Lost Friend Update

How about that... Facebook's helped me find another old pal from grade school. Laura Monaco's one of those people who radiates compassion, the kind we all do better from being around.

"I majored in Health Sciences - Environmental, Health and Safety. Chemistry minor. Worked for Caterpillar, Joliet for little over 2 years (during college too) in Safety, then worked for Baxter Healthcare in their EHS regulatory compliance division - internationally for almost 10 years. Left after the twins were 5 months old. And have been coaching Figure Skating for the last 8 years. I'm considering going to work in EHS again either strictly as a consultant or working at Elmhurst hospital. Waiting to see how the economy fares in the next 6 months. Right now no one is hiring, but consulting is big. Also, hoping to extend our family again :)"

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Month Of Pre-Dawn Risings Leads To Improvement

As regular readers know, on September 22 I began a nearly inhuman (for me) crusade to rise at 5 a.m. every day. The goal is to condition myself for playing with the morning basketball crowd three days a week at 5:30, so that by the time soccer season rolls around in April I'll have six months of conditioning under my belt.

Like never before, I've been asking to guard the best player on the court when possible. Most times people gladly let me take the assignment. I want to be forced to cut and move and recover. I want the legs and lungs to burn, and then to push myself down court for one more fast break, or one more defensive stop.

Things are happening.

Yesterday morning I found myself swooping in for rebounds, stealing the ball from opponents on the dribble, scoring layups in traffic, and even starting to drain a few longer shots.

Most encouraging of all is that my body fat percentage has dropped to 14% for a solid week. Coupled with a steady diet of extra protein, I can see muscle and tone building. As long as the goal is to play my best, and not necessarily to win, then mistakes simply become part of the growth process.

The feeling of setting a challenging physical goal and meeting it is a boost that's carried over into work and relationships. This week's featured a couple of great "wins" at work for my boss and team, wins that started out as darkly as a sunless morning sky. So what to do? Give thanks, and rise one more day!

Excellence Rubs Off

"Rather than settle on a plateau of maturity, look around for people whose conversations are memorable, people who wake you up and provoke your learning - people who are real. Excellence rubs off. You will be better company for having kept the best company." - Susan Scott

How many times I hear this! With basketball coaching season coming up (they tell me that there's a good chance that the Y will need a coach again), my hope is to be an example of optimism and patience, if not excellence.

The Election That Really Matters

"...the choice we all have. To be positive and free or to be imprisoned by our own negativity. To love int he past or to be hopeful about the future. It's a a choice. And only you can make it." - Jon Gordon

In less than two weeks we'll pick our nation's new leader. The state of political campaigning (as it's been for over a century) lends to relentless personal attacks. We can hope that it's just part of the game - that deep down, these men will sit at the table with foreign leaders and show them the utmost respect. Here at home, they'll point out the blessings of our abundant natural and human resources, our ability to feed the entire nation and then some. And we'll choose as Americans to look toward the future with excitement. And even should our leaders fail, we can make the choice to lead our own lives.

Why not vote on November 4 for a positive life. It is our choice!

Joe To The World

Sports Illustrated (specifically, an author named Joe) nominated Joe as Sports Name of the Year. It makes a good case:

Joe Paterno - Penn State coach's undefeated college football team is ranked 3rd in the country.

Joe Maddon - Tampa Bay Rays coach guided his team to the World Series, a team that had never before even had a winning record in a season.

Joe the Plumber - If politics counts as a sport - and I can give you several points in favor of that - then John McCain elevated Joeness to a new level by invoking this man during the presidential debates.

Joe Biden - Barack Obama's running mate.

Joe Torre - Dethroned manager of the New York Yankees is hired by Los Angeles Dodgers and promptly leads them to the playoffs (meanwhile, the Yankees miss the playoffs for the first time since Torre started managing them back in 1996).

Joe Buck - Son of the famous baseball announcer, and a good one in his own right.

Joe McDonald - He of Hidden Blog's well-noted softball and football highlights.

Cold Facts

I'm starting to come down with a cold. I think that's contributing to the fact that I was sleeping uneasily and finally decided to just get up even though it's 3:30 a.m. Sometimes when the mind's racing about different things in the middle of the night (and I mean totally irrational things that have nothing to do with reality - like a random dream about driving through the North Carolina forests desperately trying to find Dena by cell phone and being interrupted by a ranting employee of the Cubs who kept coming on the line), it just helps to get up, get a quick glass of water, and get oriented back with reality. Realizing that a cold's coming on, and the six to twelve days of crumminess that generally accompanies it, has a bunch of physical remedies but perhaps more importantly a mental remedy - envisioning the darn near superhuman feeling that comes on that first day that you're fully healed. So I'll keep my mind focused on that.

Back to bed!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Love Ratio

"Additional research also shows that work groups with positive to negative interaction ratios greater than 3:1 are significantly more productive than teams that do not reach this ratio." - Jon Gordon

One technique that I've found to be easy to boost this ratio is the weekly development meeting. During this one-hour talk, we review a single employee and talk about their interests, needs, and strengths. More importantly, we build a list of possible ideas that will help them reach the next level of success, whether that means excelling in their current job, being promoted within their current job, or even helping them find a new job if that's the best fit for them. Surprisingly, it takes me about 2-3 meetings for each employee to come up with something that feels solid. The next step of course is for the supervisor to have a comparable discussion or two with the employee and see if any new ideas come up. These meetings are a winner for everyone it seems. They inherently care about the employee, they set the employee up for success, they help the supervisor understand my biases and definition of excellence, and the sidebar chats build a stronger familiarity in our relationship. It may be the best hour I spend all week!

It's Pretty Important To Blind Dates, Too

"The number one thing our employees and customers want to know is 'Can I trust you, and do you care about me?'" - Jon Gordon

Guy I Don't Know Qualifies For World Series

Dona gave me this exciting news from Eureka Middle School:

"As an attachment to my EMS Weekly Parent update, I want to point out that Ben Zobrist (former EMS student) has made it to the World Series as a member of the Tampa Rays. As a diehard Cub fan myself, I’m happy to be rooting for the Rays to win the World Series. We are proud to call Ben one of our own."



Sunday, October 19, 2008

Powell Endorses Obama As 'Transformational'

Retired General Colin L. Powell, one of the country's most respected Republicans, stunned both parties on Sunday by strongly endorsing Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) for president on NBC's "Meet the Press" and laying out a blistering, detailed critique of the modern GOP.

Powell said the election of Obama would "electrify the world."

"I think he is a transformational figure," Powell said. "He is a new generation coming ... onto the world stage and on the American stage. And for that reason, I'll be voting for Senator Barack Obama."

Powell, once considered likely to be the nation's first African-American presidential nominee, said his decision was not about race.

Moderator Tom Brokaw said: "There will be some ... who will say this is an African-American, distinguished American supporting another African-American because of race."

Powell replied: "If I had only had that in mind, I could have done this six, eight, 10 months ago. I really have been going back and forth between somebody I have the highest respect and regard for, John McCain and somebody I was getting to know, Barack Obama. And it was only in the last couple of months that I settled on this."

"I can't deny that it will be a historic event when an African-American becomes president," Powell continued, speaking live in the studio. "And should that happen, all Americans should be proud — not just African-American, but all Americans — that we have reached this point in our national history where such a thing could happen. It would also not only electrify the country, but electrify the world."

Powell, making his 30th appearance on "Meet the Press," led into his endorsement by saying: "We've got two individuals — either one of them could be a good president. But which is the president that we need now — which is the individual that serves the needs of the nation for the next period of time.

"And I come to the conclusion that because of his ability to inspire, because of the inclusive nature of his campaign, because he is reaching out all across America, because of who he is and his rhetorical abilities — and you have to take that into account — as well as his substance — he has both style and substance, he has met the standard of being a successful president, being an exceptional president."

Powell, speaking live in the studio, told moderator Tom Brokaw that he is "troubled" by the direction of the Republican Party and said he began to doubt Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) when he chose Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate.

"She's a very distinguished woman, and she's to be admired," he said. "But at the same, now that we have had a chance to watch her for some seven weeks, I don't believe she's ready to be president of the United States, which is the job of the vice president. And so that raised some question in my mind as to the judgment that Senator McCain made."

The endorsement is likely to help Obama convince skeptical centrists that he is ready to handle the challenges of commander in chief, and undercuts McCain argument that he is better qualified on national-security issues.

McCain, appearing on "Fox News Sunday," sought to minimize the endorsement by noting his support from other former secretaries of state and retired military flag officers.

"It doesn’t come as a surprise," McCain said. "I'm very pleased to have the endorsement of four former secretaries of state, well over 200 retired generals and admirals. I've admired and continue to respect Secretary Powell."

Powell, 71, criticized McCain and his campaign for invoking the former domestic terrorist William Ayers.

"They're trying to connect him to some kind of terrorist feelings, and I think that's inappropriate," Powell said. "Now I understand what politics is all about — I know how you can go after one another. And that's good. But I think this goes too far. And I think it has made the McCain campaign look a little narrow. It's not what the American people are looking for. And I look at these kinds of approaches to the campaign, and they trouble me.

"And the party has moved even further to the right, and Governor Palin has indicated a further rightward shift. I would have difficult with two more conservative appointments to the Supreme Court, but that's what we'd be looking at in a McCain administration."

Powell said he has "heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion [that Obama's] a Muslim and might be associated with terrorists."

"This is not the way we should be doing it in America. I feel strongly about this particular point," Powell said. "We have got to stop polarizing ourselves in this way. And John McCain is as non-discriminatory as anyone I know. But I'm troubled about the fact that within the party, we have these kinds of expressions."

Powell, a four-star Army general, was national security adviser to President Ronald Reagan; chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff during the 1991 Persian Gulf war, when George H.W. Bush was president; and President George W. Bush’s first secretary of State,

Powell has consulted with both Obama and McCain, and the general’s camp had indicated in the past that he would not endorse.

Powell said that as he watched McCain, the Republican “was a little unsure as to how to deal with the economic problems that we were having, and almost every day, there was a different approach to the problem, and that concerned me, sensing that he didn't have a complete grasp of the economic problems that we had."

Powell said a big job of the new president will be “conveying a new image of American leadership, a new image of America’s role in the world.”

“I think what the president has to do is to start using the power of the Oval Office and the power of his personality to convince the American people and to convince the world that America is solid, America is going to move forward … restoring a sense of purpose,” he said.

The Police Lock

"For a while, I had this thing in my apartment called a police lock. It was actually like a 4' long bar that set into the floor and braced against the door. The idea behind it is once the burglar breaks into your house, this gives him something to beat you with. So they don't waste time looking around for a bust of Beethoven or something. You're done sooner, he's home earlier. It works out best for everybody." - Jerry Seinfeld

On Second Thought, Go Ahead And Shoot The Messenger

"If the message you've been trying to deliver is that you want another human being to change at the core, reexamine your message." - Susan Scott

They say to avoid the topics of religion and politics in conversation. Why would that be? These are activities centered on our most strongly held beliefs. It's like trying to push a mule. In my experience, all you can do is offer carrots, and have a backup transportation plan.

Beyond The Brick

"My karate sensei gave me similar counsel when I lived in Japan. In karate, if you aim for the brick, you may break some bones and embarrass yourself. Aim for the space beneath the brick, beyond the brick. When the brick is merely an obstacle between you and your target, it will yield." - Susan Scott

This week I anticipated a challenging conversation with a co-worker. I had in mind a conclusion that I wanted to be reached, but I prepared for anything. I looked beyond the conclusion desired from this particular five minutes, and toward the relationship between me and this co-worker over the long haul. Regardless of his conclusions here, the greatest priority of this conversation became not his "yes" or "no," but the openness and respect with which I asked and studied his opinion. By the time I reached his office, my mood was light, envisioning the peaceful success that this conversation would result in, regardless of the technicalities. The mood was pleasant, relaxed. And as it happened, he came to my conclusion.

Fertilize For A Thicker, Fuller Life

He was the only man who didn't use chemical treatments on his lawn, and it looked excellent.

"Well, you see, I have a different approach. What I do is treat the lawn with an organic mixture that crates an environment where the good grass can grow healthy and strong. Then it grows and spreads to the point where it crowds out the weeds, and the weeds have nowhere to grow. It's all about the environment. Takes a little longer and a little more work up front, but once you have the good grass growing good and strong, it spreads like kudzu and then you have an amazing, vibrant lawn."

What's the life equivalent of trying to create improvements with toxins? When someone does wrong, do we dwell on it and spew judgment about it to anyone who will listen? Or do we pick out the best from the experience, and push the rest from our mind for good and into the compost bin? I'm no gardener, but I've tried each of those approaches and found a tremendous sense of personal power and success from the latter over the last year.

Motive Fate

The president of Argentina was asked why South America, for all its natural wonders and resources, still lagged far behind North America in terms of prosperity and progress. The president thought for a moment and said, "I have come to this conclusion. South America was discovered by the Spaniards in search of gold but North American was settled by the Pilgrims in search of God."

Whether talking about our choice of job or use of free time, our motive says a lot about how well we'll do a thing. For money or passion? Because we have to or because we want to? There may even be degrees within the larger motive. When we volunteer for an activity, is it because we feel passionate about it, or because other people say that we should do it? Everyone's definition of a truly meaningful causes is different - feeding the hungry, serving God, teaching children. If you could do only one activity for the rest of your life, what would it be? Likely something that you become so engrossed in that you lose track of time. Something that you would do no matter how horribly wrong something went, so strong is your belief in the worth of what you're doing. Find it, and do it! And if you have a choice, stop doing some of those other things.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Ritual Cleansing

I've read enough to know that meditation comes in many forms. As far as I can tell, the health benefits are undisputed. The trick is finding the form that works for you. For many, it comes through sitting in a congregational worship service. For me, it's more individual. Sitting out in the sun, feeling the breeze, and listening to the thoughts of my quieted mind has been one way. More recently, with fall growing toward winter, I've taken to an evening bath. The air is clean from radio, T.V. and traffic noise, accented merely by the sounds of rippling water. No clock nearby, just the fullness of the warmth, and the harmony of washing the body and mind clean while slowly taking in the gentle scents. In these moments I lock the mind's door from any responsibilities - this is the time to savor what life's brought and to dream about possibility. I give thanks for my blessings, and let my mind play in the visions of that next opportunity tomorrow, or in a month. By the end, I am certifiably cleaner in body and spirit than when I began. And if I were a Creator, that result would please me more than any prescribed ritual for the masses.

Stump Speech

"If you are a leader, taking responsibility for your emotional wake requires that you have a stump speech - the speect you must be prepared to give anytime, anywhere, to anyone who asks or who looks the least bit confused. Your stump speech must be powerful, clear, and brief.

This is where we're going.
This is why we're going there.
This is who's going with us.
This is how we're going to get there." - Susan Scott

I wonder if she has a stump speech for herself? Sort of a daily affirmation when things get tough.

I'm going to be happy, because life is better that way. It'll make others happier. I'll look at the bright side of everything.

How To Start A Tough Conversation

"There are seven components to an opening statement:

1. Name the issue.
2. Select a specific example that illustrates the behavior or situation you want to change.
3. Describe your emotions about this issue.
4. Clarify what's at stake.
5. Identify your contribution to this problem.
6. Indicate your wish to resolve the issue.
7. Invite your partner to respond." - Susan Scott

Solving The Mole Problem

A man had moles tearing holes in his backyard for years, despite trying everything he knew how to get rid of them. Then one day he happened to be standing behind someone in a hardware store holding a bag with skull and crossbones on it. Asking what the bag was for, the answer came "The mole problem."

"How do you get that stuff down into the burrows?"

"Oh, it's not for the moles. You sprinkle it on the grass and it kills the grubs that the moles eat." - Susan Scott

Sometimes I've found the best way to overcome a sense of overwhelming to be the simple act of doing one, small, productive thing. It might be the act of getting in the car and merely setting foot in the health club. Or paying one bill. Or getting a hair cut. Or just putting my feet on the floor when I wake up in the morning. Big problems can be handled one small step at a time.

Get To, Or Have To?

"Shift your perspective and realize it's not about having to do anything. You get to do things. You get to live this life. You get to go to work while so many are unemployed. You get to drive in traffic while so many don't even have a car or are too sick to travel. Focus on what you get to do. Focus on feeling blessed instead of stressed. Focus on gratitude." - Jon Gordon

(Com)Plain Stats

"Don't complain. Eighty percent of the people you complain to don't care and 20 percent are glad you have problems." - Lou Holtz

Monday, October 13, 2008

Eye Caramba!

I was five minutes into hoops this morning when I was matched up with a guy a half a foot taller than me. This meant that his elbows were just high enough that as I ran up behind him dribbling during a fast break, the act of him passing the ball to someone resulted in him drilling my left eye. After buckling to the floor in inky blackness and searing pain, I picked myself up and exited early for the day. Since then I've not seen my contact lens that was in that eye. I searched all around the eyeball, unable to believe that the force would've jarred the lens out of my head. At this stage it's tough to distinguish one discomfort from another, so if there is a lens in there (the doctor's office peeked at it and found nothing) then I wouldn't be able to tell.

When this is life's biggest problem, then life's going good!

Saw It On A Trailer Truck

And I mean a BIG trailer truck, one that was advertising the armed forces. It was so big, that as it turned right onto my four-lane road it swung so far out that it would have hit me, had I been sitting in the left turn lane. A little sign was just to the right of its grill:

STUDENT DRIVER

At least it wasn't in Baghdad.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sim-ply Realistic

Someone created a computer simulation of the Beatles. It looks exactly like them - if they were being electrocuted while playing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ez4vad5zzD0&NR=1

McDonald Ranked 1st In EHS '88 Class

The hallowed halls of Eureka High School were filled with life on Saturday evening. Memories of twenty years ago floated across the smiling faces of some twenty alumni and their guests as principal Richard Wherley led them from station to station. But in one of the most remarkable statistical occurences known to man (at least to one man), no one stood taller than Joe McDonald.

Literally.

Former students basked in admiration of the new library, office and band room space. Spouses glided along, savoring a piece of their loved one's past. And McDonald busily sidled up as closely as he could to the tallest competitors in order to verify his claim.

"It's incredible. This has never happened before, at least not on this big of a scale," he whispered to himself.

Some claim that it's still never happened. Pundits point out that Dan Meister is pretty tall himself, after McDonald snuck up closely behind Meister as he held a door open for others.

"Even when you did that thing where you stretched your back as high as you could without lifting your heels off the ground, you mayyyybe were taller than him by your hair," said Dena.

Others disagreed. "Look at the thickness of those heels," he insisted.

Some tall dude named Tim showed up near the end of the tour, which was arguably too late to enter the competition. McDonald also called out Tim's character, given the outright rudeness of being tardy, but the argument lost steam when Tim was invited up to lead the pre-dinner prayer.

A Decent Proposal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQRR8gXlpgg

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Six-Touchdown Performance Drives 42-34 Win

Stepping in as substitute quarterback for the first time this season, Joe McDonald helped his team win the first playoff game by throwing for three touchdowns, running for two, and catching another in a come-from-behind 42-34 win Thursday night.

"I... was... (retching sounds)," he said, before weakly waving away reporters.

McDonald, recently on a regimen of early morning basketball workouts and long romantic walks with Dena, had just enough left in the tank to outsprint the defense for the length of the field on consecutive possessions.

"Wh... when... the rush... (wheezing, sucking air)," he analyzed while trying to support himself on one knee moments before toppling over.

With a minute remaining in the first half, he tossed the first of three deep passes to Jeremy Levine, who showed great hands and acrobatics.

As the game wound down, the defense held firm, in part due to McDonald's lone series on defense and swatting of a third down pass. When the opponent turned the ball over on downs at their own 5-yard line, a trick play found McDonald fading to the corner of the end zone unguarded for the clinching score to seal the win, and also for the two-point conversion in traffic.

Paramedics arrived quickly.

Dena Inducted Into Kiwanis Club

Tonight Dena was inducted into the local Kiwanis Club, a hearty band of thirty people who are actively devoted to community service. Under the theory that life is at its best when surrounded by people with a common passion, she's gonna be in great shape. For years it's been a challenge to find people with the same calling to head down to help Hurricane Katrina victims. Even as the chair of a church outreach committee, the pickings seemed slim. And now she's connected to a leader who believes in regular group projects. Kiwanis aims to change the world one child at a time, and she's already on the Board as editor of the newsletter. I'm so proud of her, how could things get much better than to be supported in using your talents to fulfill your life's mission?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Wait

This is from my friend Paula Mitchell, another role model of positive living:

As we pulled out of the church parking lot, I turned to my husband to share the exciting news. We had both been preoccupied with concern for our 19-year old son Joshua. Neither of us knew the right answer for him and as parents, that is a disconcerting feeling.

“I heard it clear as a bell Dave…clear as a bell!” I told him. What I had heard that day was an answer to prayer; the answer we were searching for. It came at an unexpected moment. But it came. And when it did, it was crystal clear:

“Turn him toward me and I will take care of the rest”

Of course! This really was the only right answer. How could I have struggled so hard to find it? In my frantic search for just the right action step, I had completely overlooked the obvious! I couldn’t wait to tell my son!

I knew that in a few short hours we would be together at his Grandma’s house for Sunday dinner. Josh had his own apartment and was always grateful for home-cooked meals. He would be there and I couldn’t wait to tell him what I had heard that day at church!

Grandma’s house was as it usually is; warm from the oven, full of people, busy, inviting. When family gathered the house had an energy all it’s own!

As with most family gatherings, this one seemed to focus on the kids. The adults gave undivided attention to every word they spoke----enjoying the opportunity to learn about them and get to know them as young adults.

But I was distracted. There didn’t seem to be a “right” moment to talk to Josh. If I pulled him into some quiet corner, it was bound to raise eyebrows throughout the house. It may make people uncomfortable. It would surely make Josh uncomfortable. It would cause me to be rushed or make him unable to receive the message.

3 hours passed and I did not create the opportunity to share the exciting news with my son that God had whispered in my ear that day…..and it was all about him!

This time, as we pulled out of the drive from Grandma’s house, I turned to my husband to share my disappointment. I was disappointed with myself. Tears fell down my cheeks and I lamented the lost opportunity. I couldn’t explain why I had not carried through other than to say “the time just didn’t seem right”…… How lame! I had 3 full hours! As Josh said good-bye to us that night I was tempted to follow him out to his car, but I didn’t. I knew he had things to do and would be anxious to return to his apartment and his friends who were undoubtedly gathered there.

My husband listened. He really is so good at that. No judging, no reprimanding, just listening.

The second half of the drive home was quiet as I sat and looked out the window, kicking myself and wishing I could rewind the clock.

As we turned the corner onto Cumbria drive (our street), my husband picked up my hand and softly said “Honey, well looky there……”

Joshua’s car was parked in the driveway! This, in itself, was a miracle! But when I stepped through the back door and asked my son “what’sup?” his response told me everything I needed to know about the power and magnificence of God. “Not much, just kinda felt like being close to you guys tonight”, he said as if embarrassed to admit it.

God’s hand works every time and in God’s time. When the time is right ---- the time will be right. Wait.

We sat outside on the back porch and I shared what had happened that day at church with my son. The moment came…..and my son was grateful…..and I was blessed!

Monday, October 6, 2008

A New Spin On A Crimson Tide Win

A little fun on the back side of Alabama's 41-30 win over then-number-two ranked Georgia:

"Authorities arrested Alabama head coach Nick Saban in the predawn hours Monday at his home in Tuscaloosa on animal cruelty charges.

Saban, 56, was charged with 85 counts of animal cruelty in an alleged attack which occurred Saturday night in Athens, Georgia. Police said that as many as 92,138 witnesses saw Saban and a large group of violent young men under his control hit, kick, crush and destroy a large pack of mostly-docile bulldogs."

Library Of Weakness

"What's amazing to me about the library is that here's a place where you can go in, you take out any book you want, they just give it to you and say 'Please just bring it back when you're done.' It reminds me of this pathetic friend everybody had when they were a little kid that would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just be his friend. That's what the library is, it's a government-funded pathetic friend. That's why everybody kind of bullies the library, 'Maybe I'll bring it back on time, maybe I'll bring it back late. What are you gonna do, charge me a nickel? Oooh, I'm so scared.'" - Jerry Seinfeld

Some Advice: Don't Give Advice

"Use the secret rule: No advice or declarative statements. Questions only." - Susan Scott

The people I'm most likely to approach are the ones who listen, and help me find my way by asking questions that explore the options. Although I often slip up, being considered "approachable," "non-judgmental," "encouraging," or "open-minded" are strong motivators for me, and I try to look upon contrary views with fascination and understanding rather than welling up the urge to change that person. After all, that person could easily find even more things worth changing about me.

Moments Of Truth

Last night I couldn't fall asleep until 1:00 a.m. The thought of rising at 5:00 to play basketball on four hours of sleep was tiring all by itself. The night before had been short on sleep already. On Sunday, Dena and I had played Frisbee and I had a tender Achilles tendon for some reason. Plus, with an LMC session coming this Friday, I was slated to pull 10-hour days all this week including Monday. Which, by the way, was my first day back in the office in nearly a week, meaning that a deluge of e-mails awaited me.

To play, or not to play?

My mind flashed back to my freshman year of college. Determined to make a fresh start from an underachieving high school student, I'd set a goal of getting as many A's as possible. But inexplicably, I showed up for my very first college test having forgotten that we were having a test. One C later, some quick math showed that I'd pretty much need to ace the class for the rest of the semester in order to reach my goal. Still, a few weeks later I found myself staring at my word processor in shock, realizing right around midnight that I'd misread the instructions for the paper due at 8 the next morning. The three hours I'd just put in were wasted. I faced a choice: Start over, powering myself for several more hours through the disappointment and exhaustion consuming me, or surrender my goal and get some sleep.

I decided to sleep.

But then, having walked upstairs, washed up, and standing in my darkened dorm room a foot from bed, I paused and sensed that I'd reached a point of no return. For several seconds I stood still, teetering a bit in my fog of fatigue. And at that moment I simply refused to fail, I made a life-changing choice to succeed. I willed myself downstairs in my pajamas and finished that paper.

I never did get that first B.

And as I type this, on four hours of sleep after 90 minutes of surprisingly good basketball and eleven hours of work, I feel again like a new person.

Life is what we make of it, not what it makes of us.

Will You At Least Pretend To Marry Me?

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/980359/

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Birthright or Birth Wrong?

"We were born to complain. As babies, we cried our hearts out to get what we wanted. When we were hungry, we cried and our Momma fed us. When we were tired, we cried and we were rocked to sleep. We cried to get our way all the time, and it worked like a charm. Unfortunately, far too many are still using an adult form of crying - called complaining - to get what they want or to express their feelings of helplessness. but just as we learned not to such our thumb and sleep without a night-light we must also outgrow the habit of complaining." - Jon Gordon

I complain as much as the next adult, but I'm hoping that I'm more aware of it than the average person and that I can outgrow it. One simple rule, perhaps, is to keep "I" statements to a minimum. Bragging, self-centeredness and complaining are all special cases of I statements. I wonder what it would be like to cut them out for a week?

Triumphant Return To Morning Basketball Filled With Average Play

After 11 straight days of rising at 5:00, and knowing that I had Friday off, I figured that I'd try to play with the 5:15 a.m. basketball crowd at Four Seasons and see if I was ready for it.

5:15 After some extremely light stretching enough people had showed up to play, so with some risk I jumped in. I quickly snatched a few rebounds, and missed a few shots, en route to making about 25% of my shots for the day (that's bad, folks).

5:30 We won our first game! Midway through the second, I start feeling what I expected - that burning sensation in the lungs to remind me how long it had been since I'd exerted myself for such an extended stretch. It's all part of the large "no pain, no gain" plan for April though... pushing myself to the limit and beyond in order to build leg strength and quickness that I haven't had in over a year.

5:45 I'm gassed! By now though enough players have showed up to have two games running simultaneously on shorter, cross-courts. I'm trying to determine myself not to let up.

6:00 My 4-man team has lost in an impressive number of ways, close ones and blowouts. We have one player who's our dominant scorer, and I have made a few baskets myself. Only a couple of times has someone I'm guarding completely burned me en route to the basket. It's those confrontations that I'm most interested in - one-on-one matchups that test my ability to pressure the ball handler and stay in front of him.

6:30 Hey, I'm starting to get a second wind! And we've won a few in a row as the team chemistry gels. And of course, it helps that I'm making shots. Other players are tiring, which allows me to make some scrappy, hustle plays.

7:00 Enough people have left that there's enough for a single, full court game, which we win. I'm thrilled... sustained myself to the end, got that unexpected second wind, and I have no discomfort at all in the back, legs or knees.

I actually played another two hours on Saturday, drank a ton of liquid, and bought a bunch of groceries loaded with protein to replenish those aching muscles. I expect my weight to climb in the short run, before the fat-burning muscle starts to kick in.

Of course the real test will be to try to sustain it after the honeymoon phase is over. For now, it's time to savor this accomplishment and pray that the body gets stronger and stays pain-free due to enough stretching.

The Most Important Thing

"'What is the most important thing you and I should be talking about?' I will rely on you to tell me." - Susan Scott

Such is the key sentence suggested to drive a routine one-on-one meeting between a supervisor and employee. The optimum schedule for such a meeting is once a month for two hours. In other words, twelve times a year ask each key person to explore his or her most important issues with you.

The time schedule doesn't matter so much as the nature of the question. Is there a better, or simpler gesture of empowerment and inclusiveness than to put the team member completely in the driver's seat? It's something I'm not good at yet, but I think it would work well in all relationships.

Poll Shows Dena Ahead Of Random Gas Station Woman

A local poll showed Dena McDonald to have a decisive edge over a random woman seen in a gas station Saturday morning.

The poll, conducted by Joe McDonald on himself, posed the question "Who is more attractive?" after noticing that her license plate included the year 1970, Dena's birth year and last four digits of her own plate. Trends which emerged:

1. Long hair is preferred over the mousier, short-haired look of Gas Station Woman (GSW).

2. The public supports a sleeker look and a 1-chin limit. "While there may be understandable, and uncontrollable reasons why a person would have jowls, GSW has been disturbingly silent on this issue. It comes across as if she lacks discipline," said one respondent.

3. Glasses are out. "To me it doesn't say fashion, it says clutter. Or is her eyesight so incurably bad that she might smash into me?" said a wide-eyed insurance professional.

4. Frowners are downers. The general look of joylessness creased into GSW's face brings a worrisome future. McDonald's radiance and irrepressible smile suggest that when each turns 76, it's McDonald whose charm will triumph over wrinkles.

Although the two are tied in every other demographic, McDonald's commanding lead in the male 30-39 group (100% to 0%) ensures that her popularity remains at an all-time high versus the unwitting challenger.

McDonald's Three Meaningless Touchdowns Inspire Self

Great teams are composed of players who measure success not in terms of individual accomplishments, but whether the team won or lost.

Joe McDonald was ecstatic about his three touchdowns in a 27-25 loss in State Farm flag football action Thursday.

Although the team never led, beginning with a safety on the first drive of the game, each of McDonald's scores brought his team within a few points of victory.

As the first half ended, from the five yard line, his sprint from center to the right corner of the end zone allowed the quarterback to thread a pass just beyond the defender's arms.

Midway through the second half, he caught a short pass from midfield and, with two players reaching for his flag, pulled a leaping spin move that stranded both defenders in his wake. From there he streaked down the right sideline, stretching the ball across the goal line miniseconds before being tackled.

With under two minutes to go, a desperation heave from the quarterback found McDonald a step ahead of his man. With the ball slightly underthrown, he came back toward the ball and by the time he caught it at the 25 yard line, the defender was two yards away, the last stand between him and the goal line. McDonald dashed toward the right side of the end zone, and with the defender closing in, planted his foot and reversed directions with a cut that left the opponent chasing him from behind. As the gap closed, McDonald arced his hips away from the outstretched hand and in a sort of pirouette-dance run that enabled him to score an instant before his flag was stripped.

The amateur author who reads and writes about leadership principles had a cliche for the press.

"It's not whether you win or lose, but how I play the game," he beamed.

Death Became Him

This week a co-worker of mine passed away at his home. He was perhaps in his mid-forties, with a school-aged son. Divorced as he was, and since his supervisors were out of the office during the week he died, he wasn't missed and discovered for several days.

I wish that before he'd died, I'd had the chance to tell him how he had inspired me, the same way I've told other people:

One morning I was wrapped in a sullen fog, as the cobwebs usually take a while to clear. As can happen when tired, the thoughts loitering in my head were mostly negative.

Suddenly a quietly upbeat "Hi, Joe!" came over the cube wall, and I turned to see Mark's smiling face there. I was surprised a bit, since Mark kept mostly to himself to the point of seeming introverted. He'd happened over to my wall because the fax machine was there and he needed to use it. He didn't need to wish me a good morning, but he did. And it completely overhauled my mood, as if a light switch had been thrown. It was a powerful lesson in the impact that a random act of kindness can have on a life.

In general, I try to say hi to people that I pass in the hall... if they're not looking at me, I look at them hoping for eye contact so that I can give them that contagious gift of sunshine. For the most part I've refrained from doing the same to people at work in their cubes, not wanting to disturb them. But as I reflect on this story, maybe the best way that I can pay tribute to Mark is to think of it as a gift, one that needs no return, one that might rescue them from whatever burden they might be bearing by proving that they are cared for.

Kansas City There I Went

Hidden Blog stayed silent while I was out in Kansas City, Missouri on Tuesday through Thursday visiting with a group of agents, my first opportunity to do so in fourteen years with the company. Remember my entry from last week about the humiliating meeting? That was a prep for this one, a mock trial so to speak in anticipation of the wide variety of pointed questions that might be asked. Like employee opinion surveys, the crowd can be notoriously grumpy about any number of matters. The prep meeting proved what I already knew - that I had imperfect knowledge based on only three months of recent experience in the department.

Like most things in life, the meeting worked out for the best.

First, our presentation was shortened to 1/2 hour. Second, my co-worker (who admitted that she'd said a lot of prayers the night before) did the entire presentation while I sat in the audience as supporting cast. Third, the leader of the meeting invited us to sit among the agents so there was plenty of time to enjoy the worthwhile experience of mingling. Fourth, the group was nothing like the dour image I'd been warned about - these agents had just completed a wildly successful month of selling life insurance and were on fire with enthusiasm! Finally, lunch was great and the agents made super companions.

Oh, and I got to drive a company car which was a hybrid. It fills up with 12 gallons of gas, and needed only 8 gallons to cover 360 miles!

Jack Lands California Job

After years of trying, Jack convinced State Farm to offer him a job on the West coast. The job is with their Special Investigative Unit, which sounds like a Law & Order spinoff and in reality isn't far off. SIU focuses on two flavors of suspicious cases - the so-called "Mom & Pop" variety, and larger conspiracies. An example of the former would be someone who reports a 42-inch plasma T.V. missing, but whose story has a number of red flags - they bought it a week ago, with cash, from a store they can't remember the name of. No doubt Jack's years of experience in Claims adds to his value.

The job starts in about eight weeks, which would be near Thanksgiving. The hours? The pay? Doesn't much matter, as long as it's a Sunday drive from the beach and Hollywood, where the dreams of movie-writing stardom can flower more easily for him and his wife Becky.