Friday, March 27, 2009

NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams

From the Onion:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ncaa_expands_march_madness_to

Study: Most Children Strongly Opposed To Childrens Healthcare

From the Onion:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/study_most_children_strongly

Happiness Is A Choice

From Lou Tice:

What would it take to make you happy?

Now, I know some of you think that if you only had this or that particular thing or a certain amount of money, you'd be happy. Others believe that if you were only in love with someone wonderful who loved you back, then you would be happy. And there are still others who believe that if a miracle would occur and cure you or someone you love of an illness, that would make you happy.

But I want to tell you something. Happiness is a choice you make, not something that does or doesn't happen to you. You can choose to be happy right now, no matter what you have or don't have.

The first step toward finding your own happiness is gratitude. If you develop and heighten your powers of appreciation by focusing on the beauty in your life instead of the imperfections, you will be halfway there.

I guarantee that you will see an abundance of beauty in your life, regardless of your surroundings or circumstances, if only you will look for it. Once you can see it, appreciate it! Not just intellectually. Let it give you real joy.

You see, the time to be happy is now, the place to be happy is here, and the reasons to be happy are all around you. So what are you waiting for?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Church Bulletin Fun

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and=2 0medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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&nbs p; The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

This Roberta Flack song was #1 in America at the moment I was born.

Here it is on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI7gzXz1cHo

And here's where you can find what was hot on your birthday:

http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm

Clear Thinking

"In a classic study, two groups were asked to read the same book. The first group was told that they were 'responsible for the whole book.' The second group was given the objective of discerning only the book's three major themes. When tested, the 'three themes' group did better on all aspects of the exam, including questions that were unrelated to the three themes. Formulate specific objectives... and write them down." - Michael Gelb

A manager once remarked "If you're overwhelmed, that's good." Joking or not, that strikes me as a statement that can drain effectiveness out of an organization. Management sets team members up for success, not hopelessness! My reaction in that situation would be to revisit job duties and staffing as needed.

Beating Stress With Fewer Stress Beats?

I wondered briefly if life would improve if we knew from birth exactly how many heartbeats our life would last. That quickly went out the window when I realized that all forms of cardiovascular exercise would plummet and we'd descend into a species of slugs. Still, there are plenty of medics out there who'd caution against the kind of blood pressure boost that comes from inordinate amounts of "worry-based" stress. So if we think of each of these heart "stress beats" costing us about 1.5 heartbeats worth of life - well, almost no one likes the idea of accelerating the aging process.

Today I was part of an unusually distressing conversation at work, one that had the stress beats pounding away. It called for unusual measures. I actually used my break to physically lie down for a while. The choice between living long and living short is an easy one, no matter what it takes!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Who Are We?

Something got me thinking this morning about the question "who am I" and how we'd answer it. There are plenty of answers:

"Judy's son."
"Jack's brother."
"Dena's husband."
"An actuary."
"A basketball coach."
"The guitarist."
"The third guy from the left."

It struck me that all of these answers depend on the existence of others. The answer "A 155 pound male with blue eyes and brown hair parted on the side" is interesting only to the DMV, or maybe a scientist. At heart, our meaningful existence seems dependent on our relationship to others. Sometimes I've thought that I could be perfectly happy playing video games or fantasy baseball, but for me that's a fleeting illusion. And just as nothing is more important than my relationships with others, I've found nothing as helpful to a healthy relationship than to hold them in their best light no matter how tense our current circumstances might be. Circumstances fade, while scars do not.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Turning Failure Into Dust

"Pessimists respond to this rejection by personalizing: 'It's my fault. My proposal isn't good enough and neither am I'; assuming the failure is permanent: 'I blew it. They'll never give me another opportunity'."

"Optimists respond with a much different and more adaptive inner dialogue. Instead of blaming themselves for the rejection, the optimists think, 'The members of this board aren't receptive to innovation; I will have to think of a stronger way to get through to them. New board members are elected next quarter. I will try again then.'"

The act of failure is but dust. We choose to either compact that dust into a brick wall and set it in our mind to weigh us down, or to blow it away with a smile and the confidence of learning and a brighter tomorrow.

Starting To Succeed

"Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a deep pulsating desire which transcends everything." - Napoleon Hill

"Edison seemed pleased when he used to run up against a serious difficulty. It would seem to stiffen his backbone and make him more prolific of new ideas. For a time, I thought it was foolish to imagine such a thing, but I could never get away from the impression that he really appeared happy when he ran up against a serious snag." - Co-worker of Thomas Edison

Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/experts_agree_giant_razor_clawed?utm_source=a-section

Losing My Illusion

"Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth." - Ludwig Borne

What better way to lose an illusion than to ask others how they see us?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Growing Old, Or Just Growing

Today's our 11th wedding anniversary. This morning, like that morning, I headed out to play some basketball. Significantly now, as then, I played without injuring myself ("Do you Dena take this crippled, stupid man...").

Of course one change over the years is that "don't get injured" has ascended into the top three priorities for me when I step on the court. The others are "get a good workout" and "stay positive". I like to think the fact that "win" and "score X number of points" have plummeted in importance for me is symbolic of slowly becoming a better husband.

In some ways, especially if you watch me jump, I've grown old. Gray hairs are demanding to be seen after decades of oppression.

What I've enjoyed is the growth in our happiness. We've each learned enough about ourselves through trial and error to put ourselves in situations where we're most naturally likely to succeed. I thrive in highly communicative environments with optimistic, driven, open-minded people. I bore easily unless I have wide creative freedom. LMC has been a powerful energizing influence on me. Dena's doing the graphic design that she loves, and has started to find herself as a runner. In fact we pretty much weigh the same now as on that sunny, snow-melting day when we united.

We get frustrated, and we allow each other to be frustrated without trying to change each other. She shows that she loves me in countless little ways - like hanging a dry towel on the towel rack for me after she showers. I try to make sure we hug several times a day. Today we plan to buy an album to use as a marriage scrapbook, followed by a hearty meal at Alexander's and maybe a movie later on.

No wonder married people live longer!

Changing Seasons

"To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with the spring." - George Santayana

Now I am in love with spring and summer, but I think George is getting at the usefulness of living in the present, trying to find the learning or even beauty in the things that are less pleasant.

Sometimes I can fend off a bad mood by asking "Why is this happening? What's the eventual joy that this could lead to?" Sometimes the answer is just the strength that grows from gritting it out, as much as any weightlifting would.

McDonald Concerts Tripled

I'll be back at the mic on this Sunday and next Sunday at 11:00 at Calvary United Methodist Church in Normal. There's a chance that it'll be just a duet for vocals, with no ladies.

Mighty To Save - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR8rlTIU8_Y
Enough - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMzuHwVGuNc
I Will Rise - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yvfso4Q8xg
Love The Lord Your God - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOdymbiTIZ4

Friday, March 20, 2009

God Mode

I spotted a news story on the Internet about video games so shocking that in some cases they spurred new legislation. A headliner was "Doom," which emerged on personal computers as I was in college. One of the early "shooter" games, it's a first-person view of a dude walking around a castle and shredding every living monster in sight with a variety of weapons so large that the guy's back muscles must make the Incredible Hulk self-conscious.

One of my favorite features, though, was "God mode." God mode is mano-a-monster, where your character becomes unkillable. Therefore you can simply walk right up to a beast and punch it do death while it breathes fire and gnaws on you frantically. Kind of like a Mike Tyson fight, only less scary.

For most people I know, life's a lot closer to God mode than we give it credit for. The mind regards relationship scratches as if they were scarring knife wounds. The momentary swirling uncertainties of the day can rattle our confidence like the death grip of a whirlpool.

Today was like that... a team I'm on with very challenging schedules and limited availability received a management decision that might set our project back three weeks. The decision impacts a dozen other team members and leaves me as the liaison in charge of keeping things moving. Yipes! I got halfway through an e-mail that contained an unusually high dose (for me) of negative emotion in it. Thankfully, years of hard-learned lessons have taught me never to convey anger in an e-mail, no matter what... it's always a lousy long-term investment. And it served well here too. The confidence was forced at first, but after hitting the send button it all started to jell again. Rare is the problem at work that's truly unsolvable, as long as we keep our spirit up.

Knowing

This Nicholas Cage movie had sci-fi intrigue written all over it, with the premise of a mysterious paper covered with numbers that ends up predicting devastating events.

Early on I had the sense that I was watching a remake of the Mel Gibson "Signs" flick, its main character struggling to cope with great personal loss, and resulting loss of faith. Heck, his father was even a pastor.

Later there was an "Independence Day" feel to it, in fact I suspect that some of the footage of city destruction was taken straight from a couple of other movies I've seen.

Religious symbolism was everywhere. No scholar am I, but I think there was an attempt to portray the Bible's Book of Revelation, complete with angels, wild animals and elements of "heaven" for those called.

A note about the Starplex theater, the newest movie construction in town. It had the ambiance of the local University theater - a certain sloppiness about it that a college student could love. And for that it's in a pretty ideal place, a short drive from campus.

Final grade: A solid C, if you like science fiction and can live with a dime's worth of originality in a dollar's worth of film.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Tips For Happy Marriage

With our anniversary next Saturday, this article is timely!

From Hearst Communications:

1. Act Out of Character. Couples develop a particular dynamic: the way they relate to each other that repeats itself over and over. If you break that pattern and act against type -- in a positive way -- you inject new life into the relationship. For example, if you always get angry at your guy when he doesn't follow through on some chore, try addressing him in a nicer, more friendly tone, then thank him when he does a good job. It works every time. -- Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Virginia

2. Get in Touch a Lot. No doubt you hug and kiss each other. But simple acts like stroking his arm while you're watching TV and taking his hand when you're walking down the street are also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on an instinctive level. -- Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of "Emotional Fitness for Couples"

3. Take Turns Talking. To make sure you both get a chance to state what's on your mind during a disagreement -- and get your points across -- alternate playing reflective therapist, where one listens while the other talks. -- Psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of "Opening Love's Door"

4. Find the Intersection. When making decisions together, try to find common ground. You each should write down exactly what you want. Let's say you're angling for a vacay in San Francisco to see the sights and hit up the cool shops and restaurants, while he wants a tropical getaway where he can veg out by the pool and sip drinks with umbrellas in the glass. Now that your desires are clearly laid out on paper, you can pick a place that will satisfy both your needs. A cool city, a little sun... how about Miami? -- Paul Dobransky, MD, author of "The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love"

5. Be More Positive Than Negative. There's a more effective way to air grievances than to file an angry complaint. Sandwich your negative comment between two positives. If you want to complain about how he's always late, for example, try something like "You know, I love that you're so laid-back and easygoing, but it really bothers me when you show up so late. I'm sure you can still be the fun guy I adore and also be on time." -- Los Angeles psychologist Yvonne Thomas, PhD

6. Echo Each Other. When you and your man are having a serious relationship talk, it's easy to get so caught up in how you want to respond that you're not really listening to what's being said. That's why it's important for both of you to repeat each other: so you know you've been heard and you feel understood. -- Yvonne Thomas

7. Take a Time-Out. Neither of you is perfect, and the quirks you both have are here to stay. So rather than let those annoying traits work your last nerve, try to get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws, even if it's not immediately recognizable. Instead of getting annoyed when he starts screaming at the TV, for example, remind yourself how much you love his passion. Or if his shyness with new people bugs you, think about how refreshing it is to be with a chill, genuine guy rather than a blowhard who needs to chat with everyone in the room. -- Denver psychologist Jennifer Oikle, PhD, dating coach for Coupling Connection

8. Have His Back. You might not agree with your guy when he's had a riff with a friend or he thinks his boss is being unfair, but you should always be on his side... and vice versa. Otherwise, you'll both feel like you can't count on each other. That doesn't mean you have to take the "you're so right" route all the time. Just hear him out, and let him know that you'll support him no matter what. -- New York City psychotherapist JoAnn Magdoff, PhD

9. Spend a Little Money on Each Other. You don't have to wait for a special occasion to give small presents to show your love. In fact, gifts are more fun -- and meaningful -- when they're not expected. Try to get into the habit of exchanging sweet tokens of appreciation for no particular reason. Don't go and blow your paycheck though. It's not about being extravagant; it's just a way of showing that you really get -- and think about -- each other. Maybe you buy him a tee of his favorite band that you saw on sale or he gets you a pair of pajamas in your favorite color. -- Barton Goldsmith

10. Be a Good Date. Face it, no one can stay fascinating forever. After being together for a while, the initial excitement fades, and your guy can start to get kind of boring sometimes. Hey, don't think you're off the hook -- if you're feeling a little ho-hum about him, the feeling is likely mutual! To combat the blahs, take turns coming up with an interesting date idea every month. Keep the time and details to yourself, and try to think outside the box -- dinner and a movie is not exactly innovative. An awesome concert or a snowboarding lesson, for example, is a much less predictable treat. -- Jennifer Oikle

I Wanted It Really Bad

"Somehow I found the energy. Just stayed strong. I wanted it really bad." - Michael Jordan, following a 38-point NBA Finals performance while suffering from the flu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLQl7UJOYUs&feature=related

We know we've zeroed in on a true purpose if not even the flu can stop us!

Greatest Rockets Comeback Ever

Some of these shots look like circus acts...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfuy-eTbxIg&feature=related

Greatest Illini Comeback Ever

Loser-goes-home semifinal hoops contest in 2005 between Illinois and Arizona...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTbE4eC-AIc

Right Makes Might

"Let us have faith that right makes might; and in that faith let us to the end dare to do our duty as we understand it." - Abraham Lincoln

Duty is tough. It carries a sense of obligation, something that isn't easy but that we are compelled to do, either from within or without.

Last week at work we discovered a mistake that might sound off alarms at the highest levels of the company. What will that bring? It doesn't matter. To behave ethically is our duty. What's meant to happen will happen, leading us down yet another one of untold million interesting possible life paths. To steel through and live, that's the might.

Solo, So High

"Chanting is as holy as listening to the murmur of a stream, counting prayer beads as sacred as simply breathing, religious robes as spiritual as work clothes." - Lao-Tsu

That seems to be a principle that many can get behind - that spirituality can be practiced anytime, anywhere, anyhow.

Over time I've learned that I'm more spiritual individually than in large groups. So as I was showering this morning, preparing mentally to help lead worship at Calvary, I also felt a pull to spend some time in private spiritual refreshment by counting the many blessings of this last week.

A church with shower prayer as its main form of service wouldn't last long. But I've been most at peace when I find myself regularly using the small moments throughout the week to give thanks.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Train Rex

Warning: If this is confusing, please find a translator - your nearest Chicago Bears fan.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tearful_rex_grossman_i_was

Big Problem Solution

"Edison took on big problems in his career, but he always approached them with the attitude that success was inevitable. And this became a self-fulfilling prophecy that brought him fulfillment and wealth as it changed the world." - Michael Gelb

Measuring Progress

"By the yard, it's hard. By the inch, anything is a cinch." - Les Brown

Today when I sat down at the computer my desk was strewn with paperwork - condo board treasurer bills, LMC reports, binders, even a few bagfuls of bolts. When that happens, sometimes I'll start on the far left side and focus on a single piece of paper, then gradually sweep across to the right. One item at a time, over not too long a while, and the desk's clean as can be.

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Great Wall

"I'm erecting a barrier of simplicity between myself and the world." - Andre Gide

Why not keep things simple?

- Smile and laugh.
- Find the good in the bad.
- Speak well of others.
- Picture success.

Stand By Me

If happiness is not where you are standing, where will you look?

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Hatteras Vacation Reservations

The bi-annual Freidinger family excursion to the far east beaches of North Carolina is coming fast. Dena's dropped about twenty pounds, I'm (hopefully) on track for the 1% drop in body fat goal... and now we've made our trip reservations:

Depart Bloomington May 30 @ 6:05 a.m. (yikes!)
Arrive Norfolk Virginia May 30 @ 11:28 a.m.
Drive down to Hatteras via rental car (about 150 miles)

Depart Norfolk Virginia June 6 @ 4:00 p.m.
Arrive Bloomington June 6 @ 8:59 p.m.

Here we come!

Thesis Highlights Major Differences Between Elementary, Middle School

Recently the Hidden Blog community has engaged in passionate debate about the differences between elementary and middle school. Few papers could be more gripping than this one, which attempts to at least partially settle the score:

http://www.pubpol.duke.edu/research/papers/SAN07-01.pdf

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

McDonald Concert Tour To Last Twenty Minutes

I've been invited to play acoustic guitar and sing as part of Calvary United Methodist Church's 11:00 service this Sunday. The contemporary band will feature several songs. Due to the demand, admission is... free.

Opening songs
Mighty to Save
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR8rlTIU8_Y

Here I Am To Worship/Call Upon The Lord
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eiy3_KRKNaQ&feature=related

Closing
Your Grace is Enough
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI5Yiyv5O0s

Knowing How To Eat Ain't Bad, Either

"The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one's own self." - Montaigne

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Seinfeld Fans Rejoice!

From TV Guide on the Net:

"The central quartet of the blockbuster NBC sitcom — Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards and Jason Alexander — has signed on for a multi-episode arc on the HBO show, according to Entertainment Weekly.

To connect the dots, Curb star Larry David was a co-creator and executive producer of Seinfeld. Seinfeld, Louis-Dreyfus and Alexander have all previously made individual appearances on Curb, but this will mark the first time the quartet has appeared together on television since Seinfeld went off the air in 1998.

There's still no word from HBO on when the next season of Curb Your Enthusiasm will air, but a source tells me that fall 2009 is a safe bet."

This Advice Rocks

"When nothing seems to help, I go look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before." - Jacob Riis

Translation: Persist! Victory is closer than we think.

What The Fungus?

I developed a mild case of athlete's foot a couple of weeks ago. "Getting there is half the fun" doesn't apply here - for a while I thought it was just dry winter skin and applied lotion to it, which of course creates perfect conditions for fungal growth.

Things started to turn around when I asked a skin care expert about it, and she pointed me to hydrocortisone (this was back when I thought it was dry skin). Before buying some, I decided to consult webMD about rashes, which is what diagnosed the athlete's foot. Further, it said that one thing to avoid putting on it is hydrocortisone. Crisis averted!

In recent months when these potentially discouraging things come along, fortunately my mind has looked past it. Armed with daily spray and powder, and routine changes of dressing, I was sure to win. By now, that vision's nearly come true.

Planning, discipline and patience eliminates irritation. That's true of a lot of things.

Working On A Sunday

Since LMC is this Friday, I decided to head into the office and put in a full work day today, rather than doing four 10-hour days Monday through Thursday. Those ten-hour days tended to run toward 8:00 or 9:00 at night due to other afternoon commitments that I needed to slip briefly away for.

In some circles working on Sunday is a no-no, but this morning I did ponder many things I have to be thankful for of late, to get myself properly centered.

- This week at work I had successful interactions with a couple of executives, including to help one manage a particularly stressful situation. Another time I was called into a national conference call in order to help ease some tension around the same situation. In delivering my annual performance review, my boss said that I had a way of "taking the edge off" of difficult situations, which seemed a fitting cap.

- It was a good week of exercise... lifted more weight and burned more calories than in any previous week this year. On Saturday I could not only feel myself performing better physically, but for the first time in a month I didn't hurt my back doing so.

- LMC's Steering Committee meeting, subsequent conversations, and Friday happy hour went well.

- It's been 60 degrees and daylight saving time just kicked in!

The walk to my car will be sweet.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

That Wasn't His Goal

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/80565753/

But Was He Ever Swarmed By Mosquitoes?

"Like Gandhi, [Thomas Edison] believed that 'Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages.'" - Michael Gelb

Non-violence in the workplace includes the way we choose to attack or respect another person's thoughts when expressing ourselves. I've been involved with consensus-building for a group of a dozen supervisors, supervising 70 people, trying to "calibrate" performance ratings. At its best, these kinds of exercises are like religious summits, where perfectly clear-headed people hold valid yet opposing views strongly. Further, since this group doesn't make widgets but instead does a variety of tasks foreign to many of the other supervisors, the imprecision of it all generates quite a bit of natural tension. Focus on the common goal of reasonable expense management slips the mind easily. "Violent" statements like "I have a hard time believing..." trickle out instead of "What do you think about..."

Like Edison said, "If we all try to carry out the Golden Rule in this life we have little to fear... no matter what our belief may be."

The Textbooks Would Be Cheap

"It troubles me that we spend years in school learning about the lives of other people, but we devote hardly any time to studying ourselves." - Les Brown

I can understand the stereotype of the nagging senior the more I look back at the mistakes of the past. The other day I caught myself feeling so pessimistic about something that I pondered quitting. Experience has taught me that when I feel like this, it's usually because I'm just tired and crabby. The next morning, I was completely enthused about the activity. What a shame it would've been to quit!

The body's a fascinating organic machine, without quite enough gauges to prevent us from blowing a gasket every once in a while. Knowing how to read ourselves, sorting out reality through the sea of chemical and hormonal messages flooding through the pipes, keeps us from holding down the accelerator a bit too long and hurtling over the edge.

The Inventor And The Creator

"[Thomas] Edison's mother, his wife Mina, and his father-in-law Lewis were all deeply religious, and attended church regularly. But Edison did not have much interest in formal religion. He joked that he was 'oblivious of Sunday.' Edison did, however, believe in a divine Creator. This notion of the Creator was one who had set forth precise laws of the universe that were to be known throughout science and mathematics. As he phrased, it, 'I know this world is ruled by infinite intelligence. Everything that surrounds us - everything that exists - proves that there are infinite laws behind it. There can be no denying this fact. It is mathematical in its precision.' But Edison's God wasn't a personal one. As he wrote in his diary, 'What a wonderfully small idea mankind has of the almighty! My impression is that he has made unchangeable laws to govern this and billions of other worlds, and that he has forgotten even the existence of this little mote of ours ages ago. Why can't man follow up and practice the teachings of his own conscience, mind his own business, and not obtrude his purposely created finite mind in affairs that will be attended to without any volunteer advice.'" - Michael Gelb

It's easier on me to imagine a more personal God than Edison, since the act of giving thanks isn't nearly as meaningful when casting it into empty space.

Anti-Virus Virus?

I was sitting peacefully at the computer when suddenly an authentic-looking message popped up with multiple warning signs alerting me to the fact that I had not only 364 infected files but a chance to download Malware2009.exe in order to address them.

"Hm," I thought. "Without touching a key I've gone from no infected files to 364?" I decided to reboot the computer and do a virus scan, which turned up clean. I have a hunch that had I downloaded Malware, those infected files would've become a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Perfect Plan?

The possibility crossed my mind today that the best kind of perfection to pursue is perfect happiness.

Curing Ourselves

Regardless of religious inclination, there are some striking lines in here (if you can look past the slightly affeminate voice that the guy singing the verses uses):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMSuhK_6_so&feature=related

The disease of self runs through my blood,
It's a cancer fatal to my soul.
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control.


If we pursue only ourself, that's what we'll end up with. To live a social life demands that we put others ahead of ourselves.

Jeff Foxworthy On Illinois

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Illinois.

If your last governor is headed for prison and your previous governor is already there,you might be from Illinois.

If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there, you might live in Illinois.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Illinois.

If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time,you might live in Illinois.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Illinois.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Illinois.

If your newest senator lied to get the job, you might be from Illinois.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Illinoisan WHEN:

1. Vacation means going north or south on I-55 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.
5. You drive 65 mph through a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage or denim at social events (including weddings)
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction,& it's HOT.
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to a blue spruce.
13. 'Down south ' means Missouri.
14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.
16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
18. You find 0 degrees a 'little chilly.'
19. You know the difference between corn and soy beans at a glance (or a sniff).
20. You do not consider Chicago to be a part of Illinois.
21. A 'hill' is any landmass higher than 100 feet above sea level.
22. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Illinois friends. What's not to understand?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Severe Weather Wildness

Tyson's wife teaches at a local middle school. National aptitude testing is serious business. Please read on.

Severe Weather TAKS Testing Protocol

1. Should a severe weather situation occur during testing, please remain calm. To display any kind of anxiety would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.

2. Please do not look out the window to watch for approaching tornadoes. You must monitor the students at all times. To do otherwise would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.

3. Should students notice an approaching tornado and begin to cry, please make every effort to protect their tests from the flow of tears and sinus drainage.

4. Should a flying object come through your window during testing, please make every effort to ensure that it does not land on a testing booklet or an answer sheet. Please make sure to soften the landing of the flying object so that it will not disturb the students while testing.

5. Should shards of glass from a broken window fly into the room, have the students use their bodies to shield their testing materials so that they will not be damaged. Have plenty of gauze on hand to ensure that no one accidentally bleeds on the answer documents. Damaged answer sheets will not scan properly.

6. Should gale force winds ensue, please have students stuff their test booklets and answer sheets into their shirts, being very careful not to bend them, because bent answer sheets will not scan properly.

7. If any students get sucked into the vortex of the funnel cloud, please make sure they mark at least one answer before departing, and of course make sure they leave the answer sheets and test booklets behind. You will have to account for those.

8. Should a funnel cloud pick you, the test administrator, up and take you flying over the rainbow, you will still be required to account for all of your testing materials when you land so please take extra precautions. Remember, once you have checked them out, they should never leave your hands.

9. When rescue workers arrive to dig you out of the rubble, please make sure that they do not, at any time, look at or handle the testing materials. Once you have been treated for your injuries, you will still be responsible for checking your materials back in. Search dogs will not be allowed to sift through the rubble for lost tests, unless they have been through standardized test training.

10. Please do not pray should a severe weather situation arise. Your priority is to actively monitor the test and a student might mark in the wrong section if you are praying instead of monitoring. God will put war, world hunger and crime on hold until after testing is over. He knows how important this test is.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Like A Frog In Milk

"People who are deterred by negative inner conversations are like the first frog that fell into a bottle of milk. The frog cursed his luck, hopped around in anger, gave up and died.

Those who take a positive approach and fight for their dreams are like the second frog that fell in. This one cursed his luck, but kept on kicking. He directed his anger toward positive action. This highly focused frog kicked until he churned that milk into butter, and then he hopped out." - Les Brown

I won't consider the physics of that story, but even if we're not professional motivational speakers, our careers are staked on our ability to be a positive role model. Happiness breeds happiness. So start generating some!

Seeing What We Want To See

"'Mindset' functions all the time, consciously or unconsciously, for better or worse. For example, if you decide you want to buy a hybrid vehicle and ask yourself, 'What's the best hybrid for me?' you can be sure that the next time you're out on the road or walking through a parking lot you will notice the hybrids... Your mindset reflects your sense of purpose, and your sense of purpose organizes your perceptions. In other words, purpose determines perception. As psychologist Abraham Maslow observed, 'People who are only good with a hammer see every problem as a nail.'" - Michael Gelb

Tomorrow I'll go to work. The question is, do I have to go to work or do I get to go to work?

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Miracle On Ice - Gold Medal Game

I'd found all kinds of copies of the famous 1980 Olympic hockey upset of USA over Russia, but had yet to find any clips from the subsequent gold medal game till just now...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCWAgNfcFtg&feature=related

World's Best Goalie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0529tdxmxrw&feature=related

Incredible Game-Winner

Just like they drew it up in practice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9ZRA1FQ9ZU&NR=1

Letter To Coach McCuiston

Last night I watched my alma mater Driscoll Catholic High School's girls' basketball team make their first appearance in the state championship game. This game was more personal for me than for some, since Steve McCuiston was the coach who succeeded my Dad. The excitement turned to near-horror as wild shots careened off backboards and balls were dribbled off their own feet. By the end of the first quarter with the score 22-8 against the defending state champions I texted Dona (since Dena was home ill): "It will be a great comeback!" I was kidding. Only I was right. They gave up only thirteen points the rest of the way, rallying to a dramatic 40-35 win. I was compelled to write to the coach in thanks.

Dear Coach McCuiston:

I confess that it had been about ten years since I’d seen a Driscoll girls’ basketball game. Back then there was little to celebrate about Dad’s team. Coaching boys for twenty years was a different universe from the girls’ squad he inherited near the end of his career, and his life. Like a five-star general put in charge of the circus, he had to redefine success. Some days he made it sound like great progress just to get everyone to look at him instead of the crowd during timeouts! No doubt God brought them together – when cancer took him, those undersized players regularly at his bedside showed the kind of heart more important than diving after loose balls. Still, in those few years, winning was mostly a dream. Or maybe not so much a dream as a vision, beginning with the development of feeder leagues, scouting and system. He talked about it often.

Tonight the team taught us too many lessons to count. The odds, the crowd size, West Hancock’s championship aura, and eventually the score were overwhelmingly against them. Such a terrible first quarter was the kind of sucker punch to the gut that life deals us all from time to time, and countless adults cave into it. But not this team, not this… family of players. They attacked ball handlers, passing lanes and shots. They sprinted down court, powered fearlessly into the lane. It was like watching a pack of wolves wearing down prey, breaking their confidence, feasting on every mistake. That is, until the last clutch free throws and rebounds had been settled, when love and tears flowed. If they can carry that poise, sheer will and joy into all their hard times, they’ll be role models for the rest of their lives.

How wonderful it was to sit in the stands and see that while Dad ran out of time, God’s plans never do. If we met, I imagine you could tell some jaw-dropping coach’s stories yourself. I can’t begin to imagine the amount of patience and effort you’ve exerted through the years to reach this point. The players, parents, teachers and Driscoll community all channeled the guidance of God to create this tremendous success. And holding back tears while watching that trophy held high, it felt as if Dad had been brought back to life for one more day.

Thanks for the memory of a lifetime.

Find Your Happy Weight

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/user-post-what-is-my-ideal-weight-5-tips-for-finding-your-happy-weight-393032