Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2010 Goals

Ah, it's that time of year again. I suppose what excites me is that I'm the kind of guy who hasn't yet been tapped by a true "higher calling" - that certain something that grabs hold of me as my fundamental reason for being. And I'm fine with that, for however long it lasts. In its place, this goal-setting is a way of living with purpose, to reflect both critically and fondly on what's passed so that life doesn't slip by in a blur, and to grow continuously. And as I get older, "grow" doesn't necessarily mean getting better at something. It can just as easily mean exploring a new path. With that, let's take a look at what happened, and dream of the year to come...

2009 Goals Missed (I always like to start off low and end high):

- 14% body fat by June 1 and by December 31. I definitely learned some ways to get down to 14%, and did on June 1 and for a stretch in the fall. In particular, I suspect that walking 30-60 minutes daily, the so-called "low-impact, low-intensity" exercise got me to the goal more quickly than 30 minutes of high-intensity elliptical training three days a week. But late-night high-carb snacking continues to be a point of contention to be overcome. I'm still at 15% regularly.

- Volunteer for at least one hour with 12 organizations I've not served before. In reality I did about 4 organizations. I tried a bit harder than that - I must've tried three different ways to reply to the "bingo caller" advertisement at a local assisted living facility for seniors without luck. I think this one is going to take a back seat.

- Smile. This is only a partial failure... it specifically refers to the daily journal that I kept up at about 50%, and tailed off in December.

2009 Goals Hit:

- 50 Hidden Blog posts per month. In fact 2009 was a record year of just over 640 posts in all!

- Read ten books. I crushed this one out of the park! Twenty-five in total, a good 5,000 pages. Plus monthly Reader's Digests, bi-weekly ESPN magazines, weekly Sports Illustrated mags, and a handful of Men's Health. I think I'm going to drop this goal, and in fact books have become such a foundation of my lifestyle that it's insignificant to keep the 2017 goal out there of reading 100 books since 2007. That's sort of like saying "brush my teeth 7,500 times since 2007" - I know I'm going to hit it, it's officially become a habit.

- Explore how to become a community college math teacher, another step of progress toward my retirement goals. I filed an app in August.

2010 Goals:

- Track expenses in detail. I was excited to discover this year that my retirement may be much closer than I'd planned. Understanding our expenses with more certainty will be a major part of that.

- 14% body fat by December 31. I did more stretching and weight lifting than ever this year. This goal is definitely within reach.

- Make a top ten list of new acquaintances. This is what I was aiming at indirectly with the volunteering goal last year. Whether it's a small group or a series of projects, I flourish when I surround myself with the right people. To get there, I have to make opportunities to meet them.

- 50 monthly blog posts, but with a twist: At least one post per week will comment on my greatest joy(s) and failure(s) of that week. This as the latest medication against the plagues of weakness: fear, entitlement, negativity, worry, anger and the like that make people old before their time.

- Participate actively in NCHS basketball. Of all my current involvements, this is the one that has the greatest potential for my abilities and personality. Through the years I've learned not to jump in too deeply too fast... this one continues to feel like the right pool so far, and it's time to swim around in it more vigorously. Unlike other activities, I don't see how this could be a waste of my time, given all that I can learn.

- Determine at least one other organization that I'd consider involving myself with during retirement.

They say that genius is carrying the enthusiasm of youth into old age. Finding a way to enjoy each day will ensure a great 2010, and maximize the number of years to come!

My 2010 Career Horoscope

Found this on the internet today, so you know it's accurate! I'm intrigued by the "possibilities opened up"... could the basketball coaching be that opportunity to be chased with gusto? Or the "resume into circulation"... I did lob a math tutor application toward Heartland Community College.

Year 2010 Career Horoscope

After a year when numerous possibilities opened up -- some good, some more challenging -- 2010 is going to be more a year of consolidation and advancement within your chosen career path. If you've faced uncertainty as to which direction to take things, this is good news. If you are unhappy with your current career path, take a look back at events of the past year. Possibilities opened up and contacts were made that will be of help in the next year -- even if you aren't immediately aware of it. If you're looking for a promotion or increased credit in your work place, there are two time frames that will be most to your benefit: January through March, and September through October. These would also be excellent times to get your resume into circulation. Even if you are happy with your current position, there might be something even better out there. That, and having a choice, is rarely a bad thing.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

God Bless The H.S.A.

In 2010 I'm signed up for an HSA. Here's why! (Courtesy of HSA for America):

Health Savings Accounts are helping individuals and families save thousands of dollars on their income taxes. These tax-favored accounts, which have only been available since January of 2004, can be opened by anyone with a qualifying high-deductible health insurance plan. Once you open an account, you can place tax-deductible contributions into it, which can then be used later to pay medical expenses. Any money not used grows tax-deferred, like an IRA.

Since they first became available in the beginning of 2004, HSA's have rapidly gained popularity, particularly among individuals and small businesses. Here are 10 ways an HSA can offer tax advantages over traditional health insurance arrangements:

Reduce your federal income taxes. Regardless of how your income was earned, any money you deposit into your Health Savings Account is considered an "above-the-line" deduction, giving you a 100% write-off against adjusted gross income.


Reduce your adjusted gross income, helping you to qualify for other lucrative tax breaks tied to overall income. By reducing your adjusted gross income, you may also qualify for additional tax breaks. For instance, the child tax credit of $1,000 begins to be phased out once a family's adjusted gross income exceeds $110,000. Keep your AGI below this number, and you maintain the full $1,000 tax credit per child.


Reduce your state income taxes. Federal adjusted gross income is also the starting point for most state tax assessments, so saving on your state income tax bill is possible as well. Find detailed information on our state income tax page.


Tax-deferred growth. Like funds in an IRA, the money in your account grows free from federal taxes. You do have to pay taxes if the money is withdrawn for non-medical expenses, but there is no penalty if you are over 65 years old.


Pay for dental expenses with pre-tax dollars. Dental expenses from checkups and cleanings, to braces, to toothpaste, can all be paid for with pre-tax dollars from your HSA account. You may even purchase prepaid dental plans with funds from your HSA account. See our Low cost dental plans.


Pay for vision care with pre-tax dollars. You can use HSA funds to pay for checkups, glasses, contact lenses, prescription sunglasses, cleaning fluids, and other expenses related to your eye care.


Pay for alternative care with pre-tax dollars. Health insurance doesn't typically pay for treatments like chiropractic, acupuncture, homeopathy, ayurvedic medicine, herbal medicine, various forms of "energy" healing, faith healing, or any number of other so-called alternative treatments. One of the advantages of Health Savings Accounts is that the individual consumer has the right to choose their source of medical care, instead of that decision being made by an insurance company or HMO. Therefore, there are very few restrictions on the type of treatment you choose.


Pay for aspirin, bandages, cold medicine, and other household medical expenses with pre-tax dollars. Virtually all expenses related to the treatment or prevention of a medical condition can be paid from your Health Savings Account. View the list of HSA qualified expenses.


Pay Medicare expenses with pre-tax dollars. When you enroll in Medicare, you can use your account to pay Medicare premiums, deductibles, copays, and coinsurance under any part of Medicare. If you have retiree health benefits through a former employer, you can also use your HSA to pay for your share of retiree medical insurance premiums. The one expense you cannot use your account for is to purchase a Medicare supplemental insurance or "Medigap" policy.


Pay for long-term care insurance with pre-tax dollars. Long-term care premiums can be paid for from your HSA, up to $260 for those under age 40, $490 if you're between 41 and 50 years, and up to $2,600 if you're 61 years or older. Find out more about long term care insurance.

A Health Savings Account (HSA) enables anyone with a qualifying high-deductible health insurance plan to shelter up to $5,450 from federal income taxes. By reducing your adjustable gross income, enabling you to pay for medical expenses with pre-tax income, and through tax-deferred growth, HSAs can reduce your income taxes.

Bridging Our Hearts

Darling, as decades passed
Our love was built to last.
That first night we walked
Along the bridge, and talked
Of dreams then each our own.
And how they've grown!
Sometimes years
Bring tears.
And yes, to us.
But love we must
Our rock of trust
And not of dust.
The days stretch longer now
So hear my vow.
See the bridge from our youth, and believe
That as long as it's here, I'll never leave.

http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/there-she-blows-17337654

Grandma's 90th Birthday

Dena, her brother Darren, her Dad and I all headed two and a half hours south to Vandalia, IL yesterday to celebrate her grandmother's 90th birthday.

Seventy people were invited to a party in the assisted living center that she calls home nowadays. And the turnout was strong! Residents and local friends and family showed up in droves with cards and well-wishes, to sing happy birthday and eat cake and ice cream.

90 years haven't dulled her senses much at all. She reminds my of my own grandma at that age the way she's able to chat interestingly and with good humor. She remembers what's going on in our lives despite seeing us only occasionally. She's relatively mobile, still has her eyesight and hearing, no diseases to speak of.

We can hope to be so successful at that age!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Fantasy Football Champs

Hidden Bloggers know my passion for fantasy baseball, that sport where players' real-life statistics are translated into a point system that accumulates over the course of the season.

After six championships in nine years of playing, including the last five seasons in a row, I've concluded that skill plays at least as big a part of the game as luck.

In fantasy football, not so much.

As I look at the top-ranked players in the preseason, it seems clearly better designed for lottery contestants than strategists. If you bought into top-ten names like Michael Turner, Matt Forte, LaDanian Tomlinson or Steve Slaton, then you spent several Sundays this year shredding fantasy magazines with your bare hands.

Nine weeks into the season I was 4-5. And then I went on a remarkable run, winning seven straight weeks en route to my first fantasy football title! So while it resembles an exercise in predicting next week's wind based on last week's, it's interesting to recap my roster and see what the root cause of the success was.

QB - Donovan McNabb (212 points). QBs in this league consistently rack up more points overall than any other position. As case in point, my third-highest scoring player this year was on my bench... my backup QB Joe Flacco of the run-happy Ravens. McNabb's not recently been a top-tier QB due to injuries, but he was still projected to earn a lot points so I passed on names like Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. And true to form, McNabb did get hurt in the season's first week and miss several games. He was back to full health in time for the fantasy playoffs though, outscoring Matt Schaub in the championship game.

WR1 - Larry Fitzgerald (169 points). My first-round pick performed favorably, though down somewhat from his outstanding totals of a year ago. Compared with other first-rounders mentioned earlier he was a star. Because RBs generally score higher, and are in shorter supply due to a recent wave of job-sharing in the NFL, I usually give them higher weight. But Fitz has been so consistent, durable, and above his peers that it was worth it to me to slot him high.

WR2 - Roddy White (143 points). Great story here. Durability is a big factor for my rankings, and like Fitzgerald he's been as steady as they come. Playing indoors for a team on the rise, he seemed a lock for comparable stats to last year, but the game's randomness bit when he got hurt as well as his quarterback Matt Ryan. As the lowest-scoring receiver on my team and one of my higher picks, he was largely a disappointment. Then fortune came on like gangbusters in the championship match, as he and Ryan got healthy just in time to catch 2 TD passes and 139 yards, good for the top score on my team.

WR3 - Miles Austin (181 points). Got to take credit for skill on this one. The WR3 I drafted was the Colts' Anthony Gonzalez, whose knee gave way in the first offensive series of the year and shelved him for the entire season. I kept an eye on the waiver wire of undrafted players every week until Austin busted out for over 200 yards receiving and caught my eye. With little to lose, I snapped him up and he became my top receiver (and perhaps the best in the league).

RB1 - Ray Rice (224 points). This is all me too. I love running backs who catch passes too, and based on my pre-season readings it looked like he was primed for a breakout year and I was right. I moved him way up my draft list, and smiled all season long as he led my team in scoring. And in the championship game, he rushed/received for 135 yards. His opponent DeAngelo Williams, a top-five draft pick? Zero. Injured.

RB2 - Beanie Wells (114 points). Speaking of injured, my highest wasted pick was of Miami running back Ronnie Brown, who did well to start the season but was lost to injury midyear. Oh, and did I mention that my originally drafted RB2, Kevin Smith of Detroit, also headed to injured reserve just before the playoffs? For those keeping score, that means that at the 2nd-highest scoring position I'd lost all my starters. But in addition to the Rice gold mine, I grabbed Wells just as he was settling into a rhythm toward the end of his rookie year, and on championship day he even topped Rice with 15 points.

TE - Visanthe Shiancoe (97), K - Ryan Longwell (123), DEF - Minnesota (121). Am I being too proud to point out that these guys' stats don't even matter in championship week? Yes, I was so far ahead that even if they all score zero points for the Monday night game I still win in a walk. This Minnesota-heavy trio was appealing and what I targeted, and why not? Getting 100 points out of the TE slot is terrific and knowing what Favre dishes out to TE's I figured he was good for it. Kickers are a dime a dozen, really, the goal is just not to pick a horrible one. And I always push the top defenses up the rankings to make sure I grab at least one, and the Vikings haven't disappointed.

So there you have it... lots of success through pre-draft prep to spot some diamonds in the rough, waiver-wire scouring to overcome the inevitable injuries, and generally good health by concentrating on durability.

And I must point out one especially critical factor, namely strength of schedule. Way back on day 1 of setting my rankings, I gave extra credit to players who were facing soft defenses during the 2009 fantasy playoff weeks (15 and 16) based on 2008 defensive data. Which teams were looking months ahead at patsies back in September? Philadelphia, Arizona, Atlanta and Dallas - that is, five crucial members of my starting lineup. So in a sense the season unfolded exactly as planned, sacrificing some victories early on in exchange for fertile scoring ground in the playoffs.

So maybe fantasy football does have plenty of room for skill. Tune in a year from now and see if it's validated!

Hero In The Skies

He took a terrorist in a headlock and dragged him away:

http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/hero-passenger-we-heard-bang-17324097

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Studio Walls

Just placed an order for the walls that will become part of my voice acting studio in the basement:

http://www.truesoundcontrol.com/products/maxwall.html

It's the MAX-Wall 420... three feet high and eight feet wide of sound-absorbing fun.

For the next 4-6 weeks the order can be tracked here:

http://www.truesoundcontrol.com/orderstatus.cgi?o=200912261023591

A Puzzling End

Christmas in Goodfield was a traditional 9 hour, children-centric extravaganza. Staying awake generally isn't a problem! Still, Jane rescued the day by carving out an island of adulthood in the form of a 500-piece puzzle. I'll leave it to the scientists to explain the refreshing surge of stimulation that easily surpassed the evening's previous activity - watching children leap about a toy elephant blowing paper butterflies into the air.

We got about 480 pieces put into place within an hour or so... at which point the children signaled (a better synonym for "wailed" escapes me at the moment) that it was time to go home. And as we were all getting a tad bleary-eyed and hunchbacked from distinguishing this sky piece from that one anyway, we called it a holiday. All's well that ends well, and since our 4-year-old nephew Tyler made some amazing contributions to it... perhaps a new tradition was born! Otherwise, Uncle Joe might have to bring some delicious Ritalin cookies and Nyquil punch next year.

Little League Again

Minor league pitcher Jon Asahina was struck in the face by a line drive traveling 101 miles an hour. What's his outlook now?

"I just feel free. Do I really care now how I do? No: I'm going to do the best I can. We try to be great, and I've always focused on achievements - getting to this place, then the next place. Finally I understand: Everyone talks about enjoying he process but I don't really have a choice. I'm happy the ride's still going. I smell things better. I look at the sun. Sometimes the sun shines so bright now, it's like a movie.

The whole situation made me realize how much I appreciate everything: every single moment, every single day. Every ball player says 'Take it a day at a time, take it a pitch at a time.' Mow I feel like there's no choice. I embrace that. I'm tasting my food better, I'm sleeping better, I feel like I talk better, i love better, and I absolutely love coming out to the field. It feels lie Little League again."

Twas The Morning After Christmas

Twas the morning after Christmas, and all through my bones
Is a creaking and wincing with cold packs and groans.

The visions of last year, or ten years ago
Were a man somewhat faster than these legs now go.

The holiday feasting that comes with the season
Ticks upward the body fat count with good reason.

So out the next morning the old athlete heads
To shed a few calories (and get out of bed).

The muscles are grateful, not so much the knees,
With fakes and the cuts and the leaps and the threes.

The hoop dreams inspiring me out to the court
Were just a bit more than my skill at the sport.

A few dozen jumpers, a handful go in,
A lot of defense, an occasional win.

You'll hear me exclaim (though you won't see me move)
"I'll be back next week, 'cause I plan to improve!"

Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Christmas Letter

I freely admit that blogging a Christmas letter is less wholesome than penning one to paper and mailing it to our loved ones (and, based on some we've received this year, such letters are also mailed to "ones crossed paths with briefly all those years ago"). And since even Dena's Aunt Marian now has a Facebook account, I feel a little more secure against the prospect of excluding those without e-access. And isn't it nice to be unbound by the amount of room on your refrigerator door or whatever your storage space may be for such temporary things? Self-delusion, check.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and/or (insert greeting that feels seasonally appropriate and not too diluted by political correctness) from the comfy condominium confines of the McDonald home! The two of us have lived in the Vernon Krossing association here in Normal for eleven years of married happiness now, which is a nice place from which to launch a few pieces of news about 2009.

One reason it's been such a joyful home is that from time to time we take in some marriage enrichment classes together and make some adjustments to keep in step with our own personal growth. This summer we sat in on two evening sessions at Heartland Community College (where, as a quick side note, I also put in an application to tutor math in August and am awaiting response... I just admire the whole organization and think I would enjoy having them as an employer and could do great things for them while fulfilling my God-given gifts!). And while other couples are no doubt ahead of us, we've been committed to weekly date nights ever since. It was also a nice opportunity to discuss openly and then apply some of the little things that spell romance to us, even as "small" as laying out a fresh towel in the bathroom or picking up a surprise snack from the Quik-n-EZ station on the way home.

As in every odd-numbered year recently, our furthest travel from the condo was to the seemingly eternally sunny beaches near Hatteras, North Carolina with the Freidinger clan (see earlier blog posts for more detail). In doing so, I tied the State Farm record for quickest use of an extra week of vacation... June 1 marked my first annual allocation of a fourth week of vacation having reached my 15 year anniversary with the company the day before.

Home is also where the art is. While Dena's continued to work in graphic design at Rose Publishing in Morton on a part-time basis this year, her free-lancing connections continue to blossom. One source has been her involvement in the local Kiwanis club, of which she's now been named Vice President and is en route to the presidency within a couple of years. Another is her proactive bartering arrangement with a professor at Illinois State University, swapping design work for advice on growing a small business, which has also borne the fruit of a couple of leads such as designing a book cover for an aspiring novelist. At the same time, with the owner of Rose Publishing moving further into retirement age and already residing out of state, Dena's been fervently researching the process of purchasing a business and measuring that possible opportunity. The art of acting may also become a little business in our basement, thanks to an introduction to voice acting course I took at HCC, and a master weekend crash course in Chicago (see the resulting recorded voice demos at an earlier blog post). Of late we've been moving around some furniture to accommodate a mini-studio space from which to record scripts and apply for commercial jobs such as telephone voice overs, commercials, etc.

If you live in a condominium and serve on the Board long enough, you start to feel as happy as the mayor of a small village. I've always loved close-knit communities (as my various neighbors from four years of college dorm living would attest), and this year was my seventh consecutive as Treasurer and 15th year of living here. I am the anti-homeowner, utterly allergic to home improvement and devoid of the fundamental male satisfaction of building or fixing things with my hands. But for whatever reason I've been blessed with consistent success in what's amounted to a contractor role for some major upgrades to the association, including the establishment this year of a brand new $25,000 timber wall along the driveway and $4,000 secure, sturdy, locking mailboxes that everyone seems to enjoy.

VKCA hasn't always been home, of course, and when Grandma Lucille passed away this summer we traveled one last time up to the wooded, quiet town of Wonder Lake near the Wisconsin border to see her laid to rest. We drove one last time past the cozy yard and the the lazy awning of the sun-drenched one-story cottage where Jack and I had spent hours smacking Wiffle balls from the front of the home plate tree, the plastic echoes and sounds of pounding feet fading into the rustic vastness of the majestic hills sloping upward around us. And the memories of Grandma as a loving and ceaselessly strong woman far exceed even those idyllic impressions (as the blog post recalls). We'll miss her and always remember her.

The condo used to be home to my old college buddies with me in my bachelor days, another experience worthy of some future blog post itself. And one of them, Ryan Short, got wind through Hidden Blog that I was pondering a coaching career. To make a long and frenetic story short, I'm now assistant coaching an as-yet undefeated freshman basketball team at Normal Community High School. Go Iron!

There's another way in which we're in as good of shape as any time in recent memory. Dena's remained active in a running club through Eastview Christian church, through which we've befriended another childless couple (almost as rare as the American eagle, in these parts). Unprecedented weightlifting and stretching routines have kept me on the field, including a dramatic ultimate frisbee comeback win against a league heavyweight, and also kept me on the court. And walking a half marathon was nice, but at my age not nearly as nice as a major-injury free year!

Our sitcom du jour has been "How I Met Your Mother." We watch it every week!

In all, 2009 was a year of physical, career and relationship growth for us. This time of year is prime for reflecting upon ourselves and our beliefs. I believe we've been extremely fortunate to have steady work and health this year, and have several reasons to expect some exciting changes in the one to come. How could we be thankful enough to our family, friends, co-workers and creator for all of this abundance?

Health Care

I'm glad that the recently passed Senate version of the health care bill doesn't include a federal option! I might be missing something, but a couple of reasons come to mind. First, it's just hard for an organization to specialize in a lot of things. I remember when I started working full-time and hearing about companies (Sears, perhaps?) that had been titans of the merchandising industry and then tried their hand in mostly unrelated businesses with unfortunate results, and ultimately a drain on their primary product. As far as I can tell, the government for many years has had trouble breaking even with the operations it already has, a questionable position from which to take on a new venture. And not just any venture, but one with some of the most mystifying expense growth and financial issues known to America.

That national deficit's another reason I'm glad that the government's out of the market for now. In small towns across the country, big deep pockets of national chains have put local, profitable, successful stores out of business. If a federal plan happened to be badly mispriced on the low side, the apparent ability to shrug off losses in the short run would leave private insurers in an impossibly competitive situation against what amounts to a discount store with unlimited resources. How could citizens logically go any other route, with other bills to pay? If the trend swept far enough, there'd essentially be a monopoly in place - the industrial equivalent of a monarchy, with the government unrestricted in its ability to raise premiums at that point. I take the absence of the federal option as a sign that Congress reminisces well enough about the good job it's done throughout history to keep monopolies from infecting the economy.

There are some things to note as this bill gets closer to passage.

At least two groups of people will start paying for other people's medical care.

The first group is people without pre-existing conditions. For example, Dena and I are in the process of applying for individual health insurance, and fortunately since it's been over ten years from her overcoming a bout with melanoma we were able to answer "no" to the question about recent disease. A person who'd experienced cancer in the near past is a higher risk, and more likely to have related expenses beyond what Dena would incur. Logic (and indeed, insurance companies) would charge a higher premium to this class of people, or put another way, would not charge a higher premium to everyone else as a way of subsidizing those more at risk. The bill, however, would disallow companies from raising premiums for a pre-existing condition. It actually goes further still, disallowing companies from denying people at all. So consider a theoretical company which insures exactly one person, and had him perfectly priced such that the company's premiums would cover expenses to the penny every year. Now an otherwise identical guy shows up at the door but with six months to live and a stack of medical bills ahead. If the company must insure him and charge the same premium as the healthy man, it bankrupts. That is, unless it raises premiums overall based on the average expenses of the two, which naturally causes the healthy person to overpay.

The second group is the elderly. The $1 trillion package (which amounts to more than $3,000 per man, woman and child in America) is partially funded by reductions in Medicare coverage. If you are living on a fixed income, which many Social Security recipients are (noting as an aside that in 2010 for example there will be no inflation increase in their checks), and your medical costs increase... then something else has to be cut.

As with most social issues, there is the question as to whether the "right" group of people are being served by these actions. 50 million Americans are uninsured, and most will be required to become insured under the law. The fine for failing to buy insurance, by some accounts that I've read, is far less than the cost of annual premiums. Would this mean that reasonably healthy uninsured people will remain so... choosing the less expensive route of the minor fine over the more expensive route of health insurance? And that the previously described individuals in poorer health individuals would jump on board? This concept of "anti-selection" is one of the premises which insurers have been successfully able to charge for in the past. And as noted, in the future this cost could be spread to healthier or older people.

I'm glad for the veteran of our military who's developed a crippling disease in the course of her labors and has yet to be able to find enough work to afford health insurance, or is too ill to find any today. And sad at the thought of the one whose long history of self-abuse, self-pity, and malaise might get the same deal under a new law. Broad-stroke laws may not be able to distinguish the two. And on the whole, I'm glad for the inherent optimism that most of these Americans are doing their best.

The other day someone gave me the idea of a system where the first step is to prescribe combinations of diet and exercise, if a legitimate possibility, before medication. If only there were some way to monitor accountability to these, prior to approving medication or subsidy or handout, so as to distinguish a group who've earned it. Life isn't that straight, of course, it's curly... and on the whole, I think it's more interesting and alive that way for the many other places where this creates the hope of an unseen future.

I wish that this new law would go away. But like most things, I believe that we're part of a great plan which is better enjoyed than resisted or suffered as much as we can. Which in this case means vetting a few thoughts to e-paper, and then moving on to a fabulous Christmas Eve with the family!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Football Or Bowling?

Watch the running back knock down three tacklers - simultaneously!

http://highschool.rivals.com/content.asp?CID=1031755

Twas Two Days Before Christmas

Today was our Christmas lunch and gift to my work team, accompanied by the poem below. The technical jargon makes this a confusing read, but that's all right... this one's mainly for my own memories.

Twas two days before Christmas, we all met to dine
And wrap up a festive 2009.

The health rates are filing, illustrations due,
Life and Health materials getting review.

Not far from our desks there can be such a clatter
And cause us to ask “Hey Rusty, what’s the matter?”

“The WPD filings are all way behind!
We sure could use Tina to get them in line.”

“Go down one more person? Cut costs to the bone?
Can’t Betty do RRIF notices all alone?”

“Commercial group pricing is way out of date!
Let’s get Tyson on it before it’s too late!”

While Joe keeps the holiday spirit alive:
“How about some job aids and less w: drive?”

What three better people could make me so blessed?
So kind, smart and funny, who strive for the best.

You deserve a break from the grind for a while,
An hour away to be treated with style.

Forget about rate books, BRT and tax,
Lie on a massage table and simply relax!

The service is paid for, the tip is too,
There’s health benefits up the wazoo!

You’ve spent the whole year taking care of the team
Occasionally suppressing a scream,

So now that it’s time to return the favor,
Just smile and enjoy it… you’ve been a life saver!

Thanks so much you guys for all that you’ve done,
The work and the laughs, the stress and the fun,

No doubt you would rather get some nice big raise,
For now just a wish of happy holidays!

Joe

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Vital Stats

It was a good afternoon!

I got another hour of walking 4.3 miles on the treadmill after work today. During a mid-walk break I ran through a weight circuit of 8-rep sets twice:

Wrist curls - 60 lbs.
Standing squats - 135 lbs.
Shoulder press - 110 lbs.
Bicep curls - 90 lbs.
Bench press - 160 lbs.
Leg curls - 35 lbs.
Seated rows - 160 lbs.
Toe raises - 220 lbs. (20 reps)

And I had an annual physical and passed with flying colors:

Height: 5 foot 10 1/2
Weight: 155
BP: 100/60
Pulse: 52 bpm
Risk factors: slightly low HDL (good) cholesterol (38, normal is 40)

No Schwarzenegger am I, but always happy to be able to bench press my weight!

You Got To Speak Up

Dena was on the phone with a Fidelity Investments account representative trying to get the address corrected. After stealing a quick smooch on the cheek I could hear that the voice was male. Quickly, I scribbled a list of other key questions to ask him, and slid them onto the desk in front of her:

- Is he Jewish?
- Does he eat meat?
- Has he been, or does he plan to be, a sailor?
- Does he believe in global warming?
- How tall is he in sneakers?

Just as I laid them down, she starts saying "Thank you very much, yes, you've answered all my questions..."

"Nooooo!" I mouthed in a frantic whisper, gesturing wildly toward the paper.

Then she hung up.

Now I'm paranoid about her next routine visit to the doctor. In fact, I'm paranoid about all the previous ones too. If she won't ask simple questions when I'm there to practically force them in her face, what dread disease information might she be failing to obtain from her physicals? Doctors don't just come out and TELL you that you have rickets or scurvy or polio. That's how they make the money, by letting you rot inside until you're too weak to move and got no choice but to pay for the pills. You have to make lists, and you got to ask, UP FRONT. Big Medicine loves to play the game and mess with our heads. It's a waiting game, them versus us. And I play to win. I ain't standing by and letting them smile at Dena and tell her a mouthful of nothing. I don't take no bull. Watch out, doc. The Mac train's coming.

To Go Forward, Think In Reverse

In golf the maxim goes "To get more lift in the shot, hit down on the ball."

In the weight room while doing the bench press, I've read that it's useful to think of pushing yourself backward into the bench, rather than pushing the weight away.

The same principles can work emotionally too. Lately I find myself scooping books off the library shelves about real people wracked by tragedy who faced obstacles heroically.

"Heart of the Game," about Mike Coolbaugh, the family "glue" and father of three whose accidental death during a game ended the life of an 11-year minor league baseball journeyman. The highs, rejections, resilience and romance of his life left a trail of inspiration as lasting as any major league career could have done.

As a friend once said, I'm "too blessed to be stressed"!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Tomorrow Will Be Brighter

Congratulations Hidden Bloggers! That unexplainable sense of sinking that you've been experiencing since June is over. It's a meteorological fact that for the next six months each day will have as much or more daylight (or dayglow, on cloudy days) than the last.

Charts tell me that the sun rose at 7:16 and set at 4:32 today. Tomorrow's sun is projected to be 3 seconds longer. Before long, you'll gain enough extra light to sneak inside to read a few posts without losing much ground.

Time to climb aboard the train to summer!

The Anti-Peeve

How many synonyms are there for a pet peeve? An irritant? Trigger? Sore spot? Downer?

Today I decided to enjoy an "upper" that could just as easily have slipped by. I was hurrying to a meeting in my car. This side street eventually would intersect with a heavily-traveled main road.

Heading toward that main drag, I slipped my car into the center lane, which allowed me to pass some slower traffic on the right. That, in turn, got me to the intersection light just as it was turning yellow. As I glided into the right hand turn, I hugged the right hand lane in anticipation of the rush of traffic that would be unleashed behind me in a few instants. Quickly, I spied a single car a hundred feet ahead crawling along with its hazard lights. Had I not been alert, I'd have been pinned behind it at 25 miles an hour while cars flew past at 50. As it was, I swiftly changed lanes and cruised to work, just in time for the kick-off meeting.

Why do pet peeve incidents linger with us, and uppers evaporate as fast from our minds? Not today!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Legend In Our Own Minds

Behind love and growth, I wonder if there's anything as psychologically nourishing as the hope inspired by legend.

One definition of "legend" is:

1.
a. An unverified story handed down from earlier times, especially one popularly believed to be historical.
b. A body or collection of such stories.
c. A romanticized or popularized myth of modern times.
2. One that inspires legends or achieves legendary fame.

Two of the most important legends in my life are the Beatles and Abraham Lincoln. For others, there are spiritual figures like Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad. The words and images associated with them present a bright future. We may take comfort in their humanity similar to our own, or in their perfections beyond our own. In most cases, we hold dearly the notion that someday we can be happier than we are today by following them.

The Beatles experienced what some would call serious depravity by their choices. Yet their devotion to music, the energy they brought to their performance, their genius creativity and reinvention over time, their passive and largely optimistic view of the universe have drawn me in. They've made a musician and songwriter of me. Their songs provide the emotional undercarriage of my mornings, bedtimes, workouts and work days. I see how they touched others, and envision that I might do the same someday.

What man influenced the American destiny as much as Lincoln? Born and raised on dirt floors. Eloquent and captivating speaker with a flair for fables, debate and speeches. Jeered mercilessly as his leadership grew. Saved a nation of millions. Killed by his enemies. Sound like any 2,000 year old legends you know?

Legends can often inspire best from a distance. Our ministers from afar may shine as gifted speakers and role models of sincerity. Do we know if they practice what they preach? Do we really want to know? We already live in, and contribute to, a flawed reality. What arouses our hope are the ideals just a few steps ahead of us. Ideals feed our hunger for purpose. They keep us looking forward with smiling eyes.

Redshirt Business

"Success happens when you take the time to develop football players instead of throwing everybody out there." - Ricky Proehl

In college football, it's fairly common for freshman players to be "redshirted" in their first year. The term developed from a case years ago where a young player realized that he wasn't yet capable of cracking his team's starting lineup. Rather than waste one of his four years of football eligibility sitting on the bench, he asked the coach if he could practice and travel with the team, but not play for a year. The coach agreed, giving him a red shirt to wear as an indication of his status.

The redshirt concept has all kinds of promise and good sense. Of course, it doesn't naturally sit well with the freshmen themselves. Often it takes a sales job to convince a player who was dominant at the high school level that he's not yet dominant at the next level.

Business managers can have the same itchiness that these 18-year-olds might. From the time they walk in the door, new employees represent a spinning expense meter of salary that no manager wants to waste. It's tempting to toss them into an assignment right off the bat. The idea of waiting six weeks before getting a productive assignment out of them can be downright mind-blowing.

Still, the concept of a training program is a worthy investment on a couple of fronts. It gives the recruit a chance to learn the all-important vocabulary of the business, including any number of acronyms. And depending upon the structure, the employee may get a chance to meet several other new co-workers in enough depth to get past the awkward names-and-faces matching process whose successful completion makes someone feel more like part of the neighborhood (which carries a special significance, given the motto of my employer). By the time he or she reaches that first unit meeting, they can dive in with the confidence of a well-schooled swimmer, rather than with the uncertainty of someone tossed into a foreign pool.

Training - the investment disguised as an expense.

Inspiration

"Inspiration is like love. It's something you get in proportion to what you give." - Todd Carmichael, who walked 700 miles to the South Pole in world record time

And Why Was Jesus So Fat, If All He Ate Was Fish And Bread?

"As a young child I had Santa and Jesus all mixed up. I could identify Coke or Pepsi with just one sip, but I could not tell you for sure why they strapped Santa to a cross. Had he missed a house?" - Augusten Burroughs

Found Magazine

Here's an interesting site that consists of random notes found in random places... discarded by someone and ranging from romantic to non-sensical. Have fun!

http://www.foundmagazine.com/

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Lane McDonald Leads Bears To 133-0 Win

Quarterback Lane McDonald passed for 509 yards in the Bears' convincing victory over division rival Minnesota Vikings today.

The 7 foot tall rookie was created years ago by Lane Young on his uncle's Madden '08 Playstation 2 game. Despite being just 200 pounds and, at 18 years old, the youngest player in the league, he's nearly unstoppable due to his mythical talents. Equipped with the maximum ratings possible for throwing ability, he routinely chucks 50-yard passes on a dime to receivers in double coverage. As usual, he had no interceptions, and completed 29 of his 35 throws, at least a couple of which were dropped by receivers. By his eighth passing touchdown, the home fans were strangely quiet, exhausted from applause.

If no one's open, it's no problem thanks to his maximum-rated speed. Simply put, no one can catch him unless he chooses to run at them. And on 14 extra point attempts against the Vikings this day, he chose not to - he merely sprinted to the front corner of the end zone for a cake 2-point conversion. Last week he decided to run that QB sneak not only on extra points, but on every single offensive play. Six hundred rushing yards later, he had leaped into the league's top ten in rushing... not bad considering the others had played in five games.

Due to his black visor face mask, gigantic roll-bar neck cushion and scary arm-length tattoos, no reporter went near him post-game.

Fool's Gold

"Although gold dust is precious, when it gets in your eyes it obstructs vision." - Hsi-Tang

When getting involved with groups in the past, I have this pattern:

1. Bring creativity, communication and organization to the job.
2. Get praised for the results.
3. Start suggesting how things could be changed.
4. Perform poorly.

I think a sense of overconfidence and eventually, entitlement creeps in if we buy in too much to praise. In the end, how much of good fortune is really due to ourselves (and for that matter, how much bad fortune... but that's for another post)? It's become cliche for an athlete to point upward - away from himself - when he scores. But that's the healthy mentality. A moment, or even a streak of success can bring temptation to claim it as our own, as justification to push our "greatness" onto others through the force of influence. The irony is that it salts away the very thing that often brought the success in the first place... humility and enthusiasm.

Victory is a thing to be accepted joyfully and gratefully, then moved past.

Would The IRS Buy That?

"Each day should be passed as if it were our last." - Publilius Syrus

Friday, December 18, 2009

Ultimate Nickname Generator

Recently Dona made a post remarking about how, like me, she is saddled with a name that is impossibly behind a namesake in the Google rankings. For her, it's millionaire Dona D. Young. For me, it's singer Country Joe McDonald.

Maybe it's time for a change.

I found the Ultimate Nickname Generator to help out. It asks some basic questions (i.e what's your first name, and what's your last name) and performs powerful random psychoanalysis to come up with suitable nicknames. You can even choose the "rating" of the nickname. So here we go:

G-rated:
Sweet Star Legs
Little Pickle Space Monkey
Iron Magenta Angel
Smart Cutey Spoon

Naughty (PG-rated):
Wooden Athletic Cheese
Paper Rubber Eyes

It's a flattering list indeed, if slightly mystifying. I can spy at least one that I might nominate belongs in a different category. And yes, I couldn't resist trying an X-rated one (Mom, look away!):

Snuggly Three-fingered Jelly Bean

So what do you think, Hidden Bloggers? Should this site be renamed "Smart Cutey Spoon's Hidden Blog"? Or does one of these nicknames seem more fitting of my personality?

You can unlock your own inner self here:

http://www.gorskys.com.au/articles/nickname-generator.html

Florida Man Exonerated After 35 Years Behind Bars

From the Associated Press:

BARTOW, Fla. – James Bain used a cell phone for the first time Thursday, calling his elderly mother to tell her he had been freed after 35 years behind bars for a crime he did not commit.

Mobile devices didn't exist in 1974, the year he was sentenced to life in prison for kidnapping a 9-year-old boy and raping him in a nearby field.

Neither did the sophisticated DNA testing that officials more recently used to determine he could not have been the rapist.

"Nothing can replace the years Jamie has lost," said Seth Miller, a lawyer for the Florida Innocence Project, which helped Bain win freedom. "Today is a day of renewal."

Bain spent more time in prison than any of the 246 inmates previously exonerated by DNA evidence nationwide, according to the project. The longest-serving before him was James Lee Woodard of Dallas, who was released last year after spending more than 27 years in prison for a murder he did not commit.

As Bain walked out of the Polk County courthouse Thursday, wearing a black T-shirt that said "not guilty," he spoke of his deep faith and said he does not harbor any anger.

"No, I'm not angry," he said. "Because I've got God."

The 54-year-old said he looks forward to eating fried turkey and drinking Dr Pepper. He said he also hopes to go back to school.

Friends and family surrounded him as he left the courthouse after Judge James Yancey ordered him freed. His 77-year-old mother, who is in poor health, preferred to wait for him at home. With a broad smile, he said he looks forward to spending time with her and the rest of his family.

"That's the most important thing in my life right now, besides God," he said.

Earlier, the courtroom erupted in applause after Yancey ruled.

"Mr. Bain, I'm now signing the order," Yancey said. "You're a free man. Congratulations."

Thursday's hearing was delayed 40 minutes because prosecutors were on the phone with the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. DNA tests were expedited at the department's lab and ultimately proved Bain innocent. Prosecutors filed a motion to vacate the conviction and the sentence.

"He's just not connected to this particular incident," State Attorney Jerry Hill told the judge.

Attorneys from the Innocence Project of Florida got involved in Bain's case earlier this year after he had filed several previous petitions asking for DNA testing, all of which were thrown out.

A judge finally ordered the tests and the results from a respected private lab in Cincinnati came in last week, setting the wheels in motion for Thursday's hearing. The Innocence Project had called for Bain's release by Christmas.

He was convicted largely on the strength of the victim's eyewitness identification, though testing available at the time did not definitively link him to the crime. The boy said his attacker had bushy sideburns and a mustache. The boy's uncle, a former assistant principal at a high school, said it sounded like Bain, a former student.

The boy picked Bain out of a photo lineup, although there are lingering questions about whether detectives steered him.

The jury rejected Bain's story that he was home watching TV with his twin sister when the crime was committed, an alibi she repeated at a news conference last week. He was 19 when he was sentenced.

Ed Threadgill, who prosecuted the case originally, said he didn't recall all the specifics, but the conviction seemed right at the time.

"I wish we had had that evidence back when we were prosecuting cases. I'm ecstatic the man has been released," said Threadgill, now a 77-year-old retired appeals court judge. "The whole system is set up to keep that from happening. It failed."

Eric Ferrero, spokesman for the Innocence Project, said a DNA profile can be extracted from decades-old evidence if it has been preserved properly. That means sealed in a bag and stored in a climate-controlled place, which is how most evidence is handled as a matter of routine.

The project has a bigger problem with lost or destroyed evidence than getting usable DNA profiles from existing evidence, he said.

Florida last year passed a law that automatically grants former inmates found innocent $50,000 for each year they spent in prison. No legislative approval is needed. That means Bain is entitled to $1.75 million.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Gettin' Satisfaction

I believe that we reap what we sow! If we tell people we're dissatisfied, then in time people will become dissatisfied with us. If we tell people that something can't be done, then in turn we'll hear that same message for our our own dreams. If we choose not to like the world, then our fortunes will be as if the world were turned against us. It's time to go and make our future come alive!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

First Major Author Skips Publisher, Grants E-Book Rights To Amazon

From Yahoo! News:

The publishing world's worst nightmare seems to be coming true: One author has pulled the trigger and is now planning to bypass his publishing company and sending the e-book versions of some of his works directly to Amazon.com, eliminating what is increasingly becoming an old-guard middleman (and earning a much larger chunk of the pie for his trouble).

The author is Stephen R. Covey, the publisher is Simon & Schuster, and the books are The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Principle-Centered Leadership, perennial big sellers on the top business book sales list.

Covey seems to be viewing this as an experiment, giving Amazon rights to the e-books for just a one-year period. I can't imagine he'll come away from the experiment unsatisfied: The royalty he earns on each sale of one of his e-books will earn at least twice the royalty he gets from Simon & Schuster, and possibly much more. His e-book technology provider, RosettaBooks, puts it pretty bluntly: "There are superstars, and superstars are entitled to more."

Amazon says it will heavily promote the e-books of the works in question -- Habits sells more than 100,000 paperbacks a year alone, making that one title a million-dollar book year in and year out.

S&S isn't taking this lying down. The company claims that it owns the exclusive electronic rights to all of its works (Habits was obviously published before e-books came into being, so who owns the rights to publish books in this format are naturally in question -- the exact same thing happened when magazines and newspapers started putting old stories on the web), and the publisher says it plans to protect its interests. How it shakes out from here is anyone's guess, but my hunch is that lawyers will be involved, heavily.

China Announces World's Longest Sea-Bridge

From the internet:

China today announced it had begun construction of the world's longest sea bridge – barely 18 months after opening the current record-holder.

The Y-shaped link between Hong Kong, Macau and China will be around 50km (31 miles) long in total, 35km of which will span the sea, said the state news agency Xinhua. Due to be completed by 2015, the 73bn yuan (£6.75bn) cost of the bridge will be shared by the authorities in the three territories.

The structure also includes a 5.5km underwater tunnel with artificial islands to join it to bridges on each side. According to the engineering group Arup – which has helped with the design – it is the first major marine bridge-and-tunnel project in China. But the engineering firm described the structure as 38km in length; the reason for the disparity was unclear.

Work is expected to begin with land reclamation to create an artificial island of around 216 hectares (540 acres) off Zhuhai. This will become the customs point for those making the crossing.

But much of the structure will be prefabricated offsite, so, for example, the concrete deck sections can be produced at the same time as the foundations are laid. The tunnel will be made of precast sections – each 100 metres long.

"It is designed with a service life of 120 years. It can withstand the impact of a strong wind with a speed of 51 meters a second, or equal to a maximum Beaufort scale 16 (184 to 201kmph)," said Zhu Yongling, an official in charge of the project construction. "It can also resist the impact of a magnitude-8 earthquake and a 300,000-tonne vessel."

A computer-generated image of the £6.75bn bridge, much of which will be fabricated offsite Six lanes of traffic will pass across the bridge at a maximum speed of 100kmph, cutting driving time from Hong Kong to Zhuhai from four hours to one.

The bridge was first proposed in 1983 as a way of fostering economic ties between China, Hong Kong and Macau. But it will be particularly welcome as the Pearl River Delta – for many years the hub of China's manufacturing – is buffeted by economic problems. The area's attempt to move up the value chain, combined with the rise of the yuan and the global economic crisis, has seen exports plummeting.

The bridge is one component in a plan issued in January by China's top economic planning body, the National Development and Reform Commission, which aims to fuse the area and the two special administrative regions, Hong Kong and Macau, into one of the world's most vibrant economic centres by 2020. In particular, the government hopes it will help to develop the western side of Guangdong province.

"It is a move for Hong Kong, Macau and the Pearl River Delta region to cope with global economic downturn, boost investment and inspire people," said the vice-premier, Li Keqiang, at the inauguration ceremony in Guangdong. "Meanwhile, it can also further increase [their] links and promote economic co-operation."

Hong Kong has said the bridge should generate $HK45bn (£3.6bn) of economic benefits within the first two decades of use, Reuters reported.

According to an article in New Civil Engineer magazine earlier this year, the bridges cross three navigation channels while the tunnel goes under a fourth.

"There is an airport nearby, so we could not build a bridge [in that area] which was the reason for the tunnel. The immersed tube is the longest in the world at 5.5km long," Naeem Hussain, global bridge leader at Arup, told the publication.

He said the bridge's piers would each be 170 metres high and that the design team had minimised the structures impact on estuary flows by limiting the size and number of columns in the water.

But the WWF and other environmental campaigners have warned that construction could devastate marine ecosystems and endanger the rare Chinese white dolphin, which is found in the estuarine waters of the Pearl river. Officials say they have already considered environmental issues in planning the project.

"We will control the construction noises and turbidity of seawater, and prevent oil pollution," Zhu told Xinhua.

It is only a year and a half since China opened a 36km span across Hangzhou Bay – in the eastern province of Zhejiang – which is currently the longest sea-bridge.

Wang Yong, the head of that project, said the design had led to more than 250 technological innovations and engineering breakthroughs, many of which will no doubt prove useful in building the new construction. He added that the Hangzhou bridge survived 19 severe challenges, including typhoons, tides, and geological problems during the three and a half years of construction.

The longest water-spanning bridge in the world is the Lake Pontchartrain causeway bridge in New Orleans, at 38.4km. But officials said that Hangzhou was a particularly difficult site to build because of its complex climate.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

A Winning Formula

This is the weekly routine for Pennsylvania football powerhouse CB West:

Saturday: Off

Sunday: Coaches review film and determine offensive/defensive adjustments

Monday: Light practice 3:15-5:00 walk through changes. Short strength workout with heavy levels of weight. 7:00- review game film.

Tuesday: Full-contact practice (2.5-3 hours): Defense focus. Then lower-body workout (dumbbell lunges, leg presses).

Wednesday: Full-contact practice: Offense focus. Upper-body workout (bench press, bicep curl, seated dumbbell press)

Thursday: Full-contact practice (2 hours): Special teams. No lifting.

Friday: Game. Players walked through various game sets, and each position coach has "committee" meetings with players. Final team meeting: coach highlights most vital aspects.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Obstacles to Winning

Derek Jeter was voted Sports Illustrated magazine's sportsman of the year. It suggests a list of his dislikes:

1. Individuals who don't care about winning.
2. Self-promoters.
3. Measuring success by individual statistics.
4. Injury talk. "You either play or you don't play. If you're playing, nobody wants to know what's bothering you. Sometimes it's a built-in excuse for failing."
5. Negativity. "We weren't alowed to use the word can't - 'I can't do this, can't do that.' My mom would say, 'What? No.' She's always positive. I don't like people always talking about the negative, negative, negative, becasue once you get caught in that mind-set, it's hard to get out of it."

Game Winning Touchdown

Is anything better than a moment so exciting that the camera goes berzerk?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJi650JqhOA

The Truth, Or Her Truth?

"Almost everything in life is subjective. This means that there is no absolute truth and opinions tend to become facts in most new situations." - David Lieberman

Is there any matter upon which the whole world agrees? I remember being in an abstract algebra class in college where we had to prove that 1 + 1 = 2.

Do we exist? A philosophy class talked about the possibility that this life is an illusion... maybe we're just "brains in a vat."

To some, absolute truth is a matter of eternal importance. I just hope that everyone finds peace in life and has faith that the rest will take care of itself.

Most Difficult People List

Who would be on your "Top 5 Most Difficult People" list? A boss maybe? A neighbor? An uncle? City councilman? Lunch lady?

Today I tried to mail a package at FedEx Office here in town. Basically it was a check transferring enough funds from one source to another that I didn't want to just drop it into the U.S. mail without some kind of certification.

In short, the employee there was difficult and my attempt failed. My nature is to take rather than to dish in these situations, so I stewed in disappointment all the way home.

And now the moment's passed. I can regroup, come up with a new plan, get the job done. And though I felt treated disrespectfully, I treated her respectfully. So a failed errand turned into an extremely satisfying episode of patience. In the end, I think the way we act is more important than the things we achieve.

If Your Doctor Was Seuss

From the Would You Rather book... would you rather have Dr. Seuss as your doctor or your boss?

You've got six months to live:

Your heart is a-pumping
Your heart is a-popping
But one year in half
Your heart will be stopping
It'll clonk, it'll clank
It'll cloink, it'll clunk
And then your body will fall
Just like that - kerplunk!
And you'll be tossed in the ground
With all sorts of junk.

Terrible First Sentences For A Novel

From the "Would You Rather" book...

"Barney stood proudly in his lemon-peel pants."

"She was all ligaments."

"Before going in, Larry put his underpants over his fist."

"The sun set downward."

Wise, Guys

"Wisdom is not communicable. The wisdom which a wise man tries to communicate always sounds foolish." - Hermann Hesse

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Greatest Christmas Decoration Ever (Not Mine)



"Good news is that I truly out did myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after 2 days. I had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. Great stories. But two things made me take it down.

First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents as they almost wrecked when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn't realize it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn't take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard."

The Snuggie

"You must create an element of uncertainty or you will lose the passion that drives the relationship." - David Lieberman

Snuggies are the parachute pants of 2009. Who couldn't love a blanket with sleeves? Seems like it should have been invented much earlier in the sequence of history, somewhere in between the cotton gin and tweed sport jackets.

Dena expressed interest in one offhandedly for some time, but I figured the fad had died down and I'd seen them in clearance displays for the last time.

After a full day of work I stopped off at Kroger to fetch some de-icer for her car, which took a sick day thanks to a nasty case of frozen doors. Since I also loaded up with some groceries and avoid using a cart at all costs, my arms were full when my gaze fell smack onto a single, lonely Snuggie box on display! It confuses me why they have photos of beautiful models wearing these things, since they hang like fat suits off of people and the marketing wizards could save a whole lot of money by just throwing it on some cab driver. The leopard-print design can't be helping.

When I got home I announced that Santa had brought an early Christmas present home. Dena asked if she needed to come up and I pondered a second before saying that I'd bring it down. And wouldn't you know it, as I walked down the stairs hiding the present I came upon the sight of Dena absolutely bundled to the hilt! Sweatshirt. Blankets. Boots, even. Seems she was in a mortal battle with the furnace, refusing to give in and turn up the thermostat all day long. So when I slipped into my most professional announcer voice and said "If you think you're warm NOW, just imagine how warm you would be in a SNUGGIE!" she burst out in gleeful laughter that would have shamed a roomful of clowns. At least until she put it on and they realized they were better dressed.

Cubs Chat

A friend sent me some thoughts as we traded e-mails about the Cubs:

"I think you’re right about Hendry, I guess I trust him – this IS the most consistently winning Cubs era since the 30’s, after all – but I can’t see how, even in a best-case scenario, they could seriously compete for a World Series next year. Or really any year, as long as the Yankees and Red Sox can just keep buying up everyone. But with returns to form from the injured folk, and if we can import another solid starter, the division should be easily in grasp. As for Milton, I think he’ll be gone, but I think we’re going to be paying for almost all of his salary. Which is still better than having him."

It sure is nice to be in an era unlike my youth, where the Cubs' problems have not to do with failure to spend money, but failure to spend money wisely. I'm serious. I'd much rather have this. Gone is clubhouse cornerstone Mark Derosa, here is moody Milton Bradley - at a significantly higher salary, and whose main talent is to basically occupy two roster spots at the same time due to his frequent need for a sub on account of his balky legs. This a year after pouring $48 million toward good-fielding, moderate-hitting Kosuke Fukudome. Gone is cornerstone Kerry Wood, here is the mysterious Kevin Gregg, who lost the closer job after a few too many instances of mistaking the 9th inning for Home Run Derby.

Fortunately, recent sports history tells me that almost anyone can win in the right year. And it helps to have the raw talent to start with. The Cubs' extended run of good health and play in 2008 brought nearly 100 victories. Derosa and Rich Harden's departures are significant, but shouldn't translate to a 15-victory falloff, especially if Bradley does stay and have a good year, and Carlos Zambrano brings a prime season.

Finally, and this is the key, I am available to manage them. It just isn't fair to Lou Piniella's 66-year-old bones to drag him out there for another year. He's the 14th-winningest manager of all time and he deserves a rest. For just $500,000 - a tenth of his salary - I'd bring a unique blend of leadership, youth and passion to my boyhood team. My one year of experience coaching YMCA basketball and brief stint as a T-ball coach at age 12 would give me instant credibility with the players, not to mention my 7 years managing a tax department comprised primarily of women. Long nights playing fantasy baseball prove my unmatched passion for the game and analysis. I play to win. Sign me up!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Would You Rather, Part 2

Would you rather... be stuck on a stalled bus with forlorn accountants or nosy pirates?

Would You Rather, Part 1

Dena got this book based on the game "Would You Rather," where you face impossible choices! You must first choose, and then explain your reasoning.

Would you rather... have the heart rate of John McCain, or the blink rate of John McCain?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

My Time Is Today

"My time is today." - George Gershwin

What makes life worth living? Is it the pursuit of leaving something behind? Or of qualifying for the afterlife? Or does it even require that we look much into the future?

This day, today, is the one worth living. We choose how to occupy our time and our mind. Who would spare a moment to curse the things of the past or the present, to fret about tomorrow, or worse yet to let it slip by absently, if we knew that it would be our last?

This day, I want to grow a little and laugh a lot.

Crash Test Dummy

I failed to mention in the previous post that I was actually able to sit on the bench with the team, an outcome that was in doubt up until the midnight hour - literally.

Seems that as a non-faculty member I'm required to pass three tests for coaching certification. After learning on Sunday that there is an online package available that should only take "5 to 7 business days" to receive the code for, it seemed unlikely that I'd be qualified in time for Wednesday's game.

The materials and code arrived with the UPS guy at 6:30 on Tuesday night. I jumped into the "12 hours" of coursework on first aid, coaching orientation and IHSA by-laws and managed a 90% pass rate on all three by 11:30. After Dena kindly scanned the web page for me indicating my passing grades, I forwarded them to Coach Goldman who in turn got me cleared by Wednesday afternoon.

How's that for teamwork and good fate?

Ironmen Forge Win Over Bloomington in Season Opener

The freshmen scored a tough season-opening win against the Bloomington Raiders on Wednesday night.

The Ironmen had a distinct height advantage, a good three inches on every man in the frontcourt. And after early struggles they did dominate the boards by a 42-19 margin, easily surpassing their pre-game goal of +10.

Still, the scrappy home team freed themselves for enough open jumpers and slashing dribble drives through traffic that they often held a lead of up to six points.

In the final minute, the anxious crowd which had swelled to a couple hundred cheered wildly with under 20 seconds to go as a slick feed following a baseline drive tipped the Raiders ahead by two. Coming out of a halfcourt set and a timeout, the Ironmen found an open free throw line jumper that missed, but grabbed one of those clutch rebounds to tie the game just in front of the horn.

Madness erupted from the NCHS fans. And the team went on to control the overtime period for the win, followed by a B game that was never in doubt and a ten-point win.

Considering that BHS had already had a previous game to work out their opening jitters, this solid victory was a good character builder.

Sign Of Things Not To Come

Dena and I were on the expressway and passed one of those blue signs. You know the type: "Gas - This Exit," accompanied by a half-dozen familiar logos of service stations. Or, for those without logos, such as the Yogi Bear Campground, the heading "Attractions - This Exit," followed by uninspired block lettering declaring its presence.

So what does it mean when you see an "Attractions" sign and then it's BLANK? Surely the visitor's bureau didn't come up with this idea. "You might as well keep on going. Figured we'd just shoot straight with you: we got nothing. Couldn't come up with a lick, sorry. A couple gas stations. If you really have to fill up, go for it. But we'd hate for you to waste any of it driving around looking for fun."

I was so stunned that I didn't even notice the town's name. Maybe that's exactly what they hoped would happen.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Soccer Player Misses Impossible-To-Miss Goal

http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/blog/sow_experts/post/The-agony-and-the-ecstasy-of-being-a-footballer?urn=sow,205896