Red Cross Event Planning

The article in the Pantagraph read:

"The speaker at [the Red Cross'] next April’s Evening of the Stars gala, an event that in 15 years has become the most popular fundraiser in town in a town loaded down with fundraisers?

Hint: Look for someone other than an athlete.

Four of the last seven “Stars” speakers have found fame by handling a ball of some kind (or, in the case of TV’s Bob Costas, interviewing those whom have handled a ball).

Word is, the committee would like to find someone famous from some other profession for 2009. They'd also like to find someone who will speak for less than $50Gs."

My response:

If "non-athletes" are the goal, what about these prime candidates?

1. Kobayashi. The hot dog eating champ would be a team nutritionist's nightmare. He speaks English, but why bother? Have him recreate his famous competition versus a giant bear. You could even buy top-line brand name dogs and buns for well within $50K, and you know that no one would be able to look away.

2. Ralph Nader. He's 75 next year, and he lost the '04 presidential election by 60 million votes, so he's a sure bet not to be an athlete or coach by then. And if he clears his '09 calendar for a White House job, he might just have lots of time on his hands which would keep the price down.

3. Sylvester Stallone. He's only a pretend athlete, right? Rocky's eloquence should come at an attractive discount, or he could just box [ISU football coach] Denver Johnson. And who could possibly be better associated with blood?

Middle East Geography Game

Since the Middle East has been in the news so much someone sent me this geography test. It's amazing how little we know about the area that has been in the HEADLINES for so long... this isn't easy.

http://www.rethinkingschools.org/just_fun/games/mapgame.html

Grand Canyon Day 6, Part 4: Triumphant Return

8:15 p.m. As on the way out, the trip back lasts three hours, and we pull into Normal with a little daylight yet to spare. From here it's a piece of cake; our car is where it should be, and we enjoy the feel of our own car for the quick trip home.

I tend to be a gradual unpacker anyway, but even if there were something ticking in my bag I'd be headed for the shower! Ahh...

Freshly cleaned-up and reclining in the living room, we decided that it was a good vacation. There were a few glitches, but it was worth a chance to see one of the Seven Wonders of the World free of the burdens of driving, planning meals, or reserving tours. The springtime weather was ideal, the Amtrak accommodations were friendly and adequate. The Roomette Sleeper was the right choice; upgrading to a Bedroom Sleeper wouldn't have been worth the extra $1,400, no matter how good a wider bed and personal shower would have been... it's still a TRAIN bed and shower. When your biggest regret is failure to wear sunscreen, things went well.

In ten years, I may be ready for another vacation by train!

Grand Canyon Day 6, Part 3: Ah, Sweet Toxic Fumes

5:30 p.m. Time for a 25 minute pause while a freight train crossed our path. Or maybe it was 5 minutes and just seemed like 5 to weary travelers. Nope, it was 25. Right by the ExxonMobil "pollution plant" (i.e. oil refinery) near Joliet. But after last night's sewage stenchfest, this was a rose garden.

Grand Canyon Day 6, Part 2: Metropolitan Lounge

3:00 p.m. Well, what do you know? When I bought the trip package originally, the Amtrak rep sugested that we choose the 7:00 train home. That 3 1/2 hours layover was the better option than possibly missing an earlier train if we were to arrive at Chicago late. Lo and behold, we made amazing time and pulled in to the Windy City twenty minutes ahead of schedule! that allowed us to exchange our tickets for a 5:15 train. It wasn't free; it cost $44 to swap, a meager price to pay for the vision of a hot shower.

We're celebrities again. I'd not been told about the "Metropolitan Lounge," a special perk for sleeper-car customers. This comfy-chair, ornately furnished private room for 100 held a T.V., internet access, free snacks and drinks. But the best part was the "red cap" service. When it came time to board, we were given our own personal cart (you've seen them... speeding through airport foot traffic with the irritating horn) and chauffeured a half mile past long lines, right to the train's door. No question as to whether to tip this guy!

Grand Canyon Day 6, Part 1: Let's Take a Toast

8:30 a.m. They did a ticket stub check to start the day as they were fully booked and wanted to assure no stowaways. I woke up stuffy from some nasal drip and was semi-deaf, so we decided to take advantage of breakfast to drink some fluids. The french toast was the best I've ever had! After the Cafe Blech last night and inhaling a nightful of chemicals, this was heaven.

Now in Kansas City, Missouri, things are starting to look more like home. The flat, green plains of the Midwest beat the flat, brown plains of the Southwest.

Grand Canyon Day 5, Part 5: What the Smell is Going On?

11:00 p.m. What's that smell? We were sitting and watching DVD's when the distinct scent of sewage reached us. Whew! After ten minutes it was clear that this wasn't a case of one person making a memorable bathroom visit. While you never really get used to it, a second surge came about 20 minutes later. Around midnight a skunk-like odor actually provided some relief. Finally, at 12:15 the whiff of rotten eggs came through.

We eyed Ron's yellow "call" button, pondering whether "extreme stench" qualified as emergency. In semi-desperation we rubbed lotion on our hands, figuring that if we slept with our hands anywhere near our noses we could inhale freely (this worked, briefly). Fortunately, sheer fatigue won out and we nodded off into a final night of sardine bliss.

Grand Canyon Day 5, Part 4: The Microwave Burger

5:00 p.m. Headed down to the visit the cafe below the observation car. Early, perhaps, but we had a theory that it closed during dinner hours and didn't want to risk having to wait an extra three hours to eat. What we learned:

- the cafe does in fact stay open during dinner.
- the cafe sandwiches are TERRIBLE.

"Flame-broiled cheeseburger" actually meant a cheeseburger that had once been flame-broiled, then frozen, decorated with a brick of cheese, and finally encased in plastic wrapping. The crotchety guy behind the counter literally threw it into the microwave. Sixty seconds of one-touch cooking magic later, I was delivered the first burger that I can ever recall not finishing. Trust me, somewhere in a Third World nation, starving children are rejoicing for having been spared this cardboard-textured nightmare. Did enjoy the bag of peanuts though.

Grand Canyon Day 5, Part 3: Lounging

9:00 a.m. The morning breakfast announcement completes 4 hours of sleep. No plans to eat in the dining car today. Granted, that leaves some money on the table since it's included in the ticket price, I'm just ready for some privacy rather than the sit-with-strangers Amtrak custom.

Today's an observation car day. I brought the journal, a bagful of books, and the complimentary copy of U.S.A. Today along. For the most part, it's a serene experience as the New Mexico landscape glides quietly by, and I rotate between reading, writing, gazing, and reflecting. Since the car has some windows in the ceiling, I and my sunburned skin also play a game of cat-and-mouse with the sun, hopping seats as the train bends in various directions.

12:00 Back for a 25-minute service stop in Albequerque, just long enough to grab a quick bite of lunch at the Amtrak station restaurant.

4:00 The late afternoon's bringing a little more noise to the car. A mother's toddler yells out the name of every animal on the landscape (which gratefully subsides after the 100th cow); and older couple spins yarns about growing up during the World War II years. Fortunately, a decade of marriage in a big family has mostly steeled my ability to surround myself in a mental "fortress of solitude."

P.S. Did I mention that the toddler is also prone to fits of spontaneous growling?

Grand Canyon Day 5, Part 2: Celebrity for an Hour

4:00 a.m. We're the only two people in the lobby besides the shuttle driver. We had a full-length bus all to ourselves to drive us to Williams Junction, like a couple of celebrities with a bad case of bedhead (note: another move that paid off - getting the hair trimmed short a couple days before departure).

5:00 the 4:20 train arrives late; fortunately, the 30 degree air (somewhat offset by the bus heater) keeps us alert. Should we tip our drivers? Nah. our attendant greets us at the door, fitting our celebrity status. Ron escorts us to a sleeper room that's a major step up from our first one! Spacious bunks, personal bathroom. Only trouble is... it's not ours, once a crestfallen Ron checks our tickets, officially ending our sixty minutes of fame. Not a problem, I could fall asleep in a phone booth right now. Faster than a rancher could pen his cattle, I squeeze myself into the cocoonish covers of the ol' top bunk and latch the safety net.

Grand Canyon Day 5, Part 1: Morning Has Woken

2:30 a.m. Yes, that says a.m. Ugh. We knew this was coming from the time we booked the trip. The front desk confirmed it for us last night: in order to make our 4:20 train pick-up, we have to be in the lobby with our bags by 3:45 a.m. Being exhausted from the walk yesterday came in handy; we fell asleep by 10:00 p.m.

Somehow I manage to snap myself upright and trudge into the shower like a hunchback with two broken legs. Now way around it, really: this is the last crack at a comfortable cleansing for 42 hours. As a side note, it was a smart move to bring a pair of sandals and shorts along, since it becomes important to stay cool when you know you can't wash easily. Other parts of the God-awful morning strategy: leave the contacts in the case, keep the pajamas on. We're catching z's as soon as we board!

Grand Canyon Day 4, Part 2: Robbed

3:00 p.m. Back chillin' at the Maswick cafeteria. I'm really liking this place. Oh, and my face is a pink sunburned masterpiece.

4:00 All aboard the Grand Canyon Railway! Different car, but same fun energy. This time we not only got a banjo player, but the train was boarded by a trio of horse thieves. It was quite the surprise to look out the window and see them galloping alongside the train firing pistols in the air. After they walked through the car demanding money (and getting gum wrappers and personal checks), they were tailed by a marshal.

Somehow, the countryside has a lot more character on the way back than it seemed on the way out.

Note: The list of items that belong on stilts is very short. "Mountainside homes" is NOT on it. How do these people sleep?

Grand Canyon Day 4, Part 1: Million Years March

11:00 p.m. Check out time; just leave the bags in the room and let the front desk know you're leaving, they take care of the rest. After dropping by the cafeteria for a quick bite, we decided to work off three days of eating and sitting by taking a long walk along the canyon rim to the Information Center. The path took us all along the canyon rim.





The sun covers a good portion of it, so sunscreen's a good idea. Maybe because of the earlier hour, there was no wind at all which took some of the edge off all the kooks I saw way too close to the cliff.


Look behind you, guys!


Some of the highlights:





- Several picture-perfect clearings, with benches perfectly placed. From here, the canyon looks like somebody's art project because of its clean rows and crisp colors. Even where cracks exist, they give the wall the appearance of square building blocks neatly inserted into place.





- A new exhibit all about the geology of the canyon. Several signs illustrate and explain how the canyon evolved over hundreds of millions of years. Beginning with the shifting of two of the earth's tectonic plates (the same collision which spurned the Rocky Mountains), and continuing with the erosion by the Colorado River (which looks jumpable from up top, but in reality is the size of a football field). Some rocks at the bottom are said to be 2 billion years old!




2:00 p.m. Thank GOD there were restrooms at the Information Center! At that moment, nothing could have been more beautiful. A shuttle whisked us back toward the lodge and train depot area. Note: This was the "Village Shuttle," or blue route. As a bonus, there was a general store en route, just he place to restock snacks for the cross-country ride home.


Ahhhh....

Grand Canyon Day 3, Part 5: Maswick Lodge

4:00 p.m. Nice room here at the Maswick Lodge! The hassle-free experience continues, bags are already in our room. The compound is laid out like a college campus with 2-story dorms, and we got the dorm way at the end. Our room was right above the one with the ceaselessly screaming foreign family. Fortunately the only time we heard them was while passing by their door, a credit to the thick walls and solid construction of the place. Unlike typical rooms, this one had a sloped ceiling that gave it an extra-spacious look. A Southwestern motif in colors, with all the usual modern conveniences. While I crashed in bed to capitalize on the time zone effect (mid-afternoon NBA games!), Dena headed out to enjoy the views at dusk. She got to see a variety of deer and elk that came out of the evening shadows, and also got to feel firsthand the effect of local temperature plunge that comes with 40 m.p.h. winds.














8:00 The Maswick is well known in these touristy parts for its cafeteria, and we took advantage. A nice spread, and we hung out leisurely until about 9:00. Like most architecture we've seen, the layout is wide open and the carpeting creates a quiet enough atmosphere for relaxing conversation, at least at this later hour.

Grand Canyon Day 3, Part 4: Hopi House

2:00 p.m. Since we have two hours until we can check into the Maswick Lodge, we visited the 100-year old Hopi House, a souvenir shop named for the Indian tribe and styled after their architecture (including doors about 5 1/2 feet tall).

Amidst the touristy trinkets, I of course was fascinated by the book "Death at the Grand Canyon," a 300-page volume answering in gripping detail the most common question of park rangers: How many people fall off each year? (Answer: very few).

Grand Canyon Day 3, Part 3: Freedom Tour

12:15 p.m. As advertised on Amtrak itinerary, we departed straight from the train to a bus for the Freedom Tour (which ran concurrently with the "Grand Tour" bus). It wasn't clear which bus was ours, so we just followed the herd until we were within earshot of an authoritative-looking person who pointed the way. Make sure the sticker provided with the tickets is visible on your chest, they demand 'em like an old school marm.



The tour was narrated by an old salt named Jerry who seemed to have some Navajo Indian in him, as well as some Mork from Ork. He had hitchhiked in 48 different states and never held a job for more than a year ("doesn't do much for the retirement plan," he joked - though I must admit I was wishing he had a family depending on him whenever we approached those hairpin turns at the canyon's rim). Jerry was a fast-talking, colorful character (who pretended to break down in tears at one point) and we tipped him gladly.








It was actually a two hour tour rather than three as advertised, so we got our box lunch early (Max and Thelma's came through again, this time with a turkey sandwich). There were three 20-minute stops along the route. The first was a slight descent below the rim.





What struck me right off the bus was the conspicuous lack of safety rails. Literally, had I happened to stumble very badly coming off of the bus I'd have gotten the gravity-powered express tour to the bottom!








I also discovered that while I don't have much fear of heights, I get antsy about other people falling. So whenever Dena wandered remotely close to the edge I had to look the other way. Who knew what gusty wind, rock squirrel or misstep could happen?



One mother was herding five children under the age of ten. Elsewhere, two teenagers were goofing around on a rocky ledge. One woman dangled her feet over the edge. Enough!