I remember my dad trying to toss me a set of keys when I was little, inadvertently hitting a thin wire overhead. "If I tried I bet I couldn't do that again," he said.
Ditto for this game-winning goal...
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Where To Find A Retirement Home For Under $600 A Month
From Yahoo! Finance:
For Americans looking to buy retirement property, the historic real estate crash has created all sorts of opportunities. Home prices in 20 major metropolitan areas have declined roughly 28 percent from their 2006 peaks. Meanwhile, government efforts to ramp up demand for homes have significantly reduced mortgage costs for borrowers. Thirty-year fixed mortgage rates stood at 4.37 percent for the week ending September 16, only slightly above the 39-year lows reached two weeks earlier.
Taken together, lower home prices and cheap mortgage rates have made home buying much more affordable than just a few years ago. And given that real estate values in many traditional retirement spots--like Florida and Arizona--have fallen even harder than the national average, Americans who are ready to embark on the second half of their lives are in a particularly favorable position. To that end, U.S. News has compiled a list of 10 places where retirement home buyers can purchase property for less than $600 a month.
In putting together our list, we obtained median home price data from the National Association of Realtors for 159 metropolitan statistical areas throughout the country. After subtracting a 20 percent down payment, we plugged the remaining figure into a mortgage calculator using a 4.37 percent rate on a 30-year fixed mortgage. We then looked for places that would make desirable retirement destinations and whose monthly mortgage payments totaled less than $600. Please note that these monthly payments only reflect costs for mortgage principal and interest, which will represent the majority of a homeowner's monthly housing expenses. It does not, however, take into account expenses for taxes, insurance, and utilities, which can vary significantly from one place to another.
1. Phoenix
With more than 200 golf courses, many miles of outdoor trails, and all sorts of museums and art galleries, the Phoenix area has long been an attractive retirement destination. Home prices in Phoenix doubled from 2002 to 2006, but dropped 51 percent as the real estate bubble deflated. The bust, however, has helped make the area's real estate market more affordable for would-be retirement home buyers. The median home price in the Phoenix area stood at $145,000 in the second quarter of 2010, up 11 percent from a year earlier. Buyers that put 20 percent down--or $29,000--on a median-priced Phoenix home will have monthly payments of roughly $579 for mortgage principal and interest.
2. Las Vegas
Few American cities have seen home prices swing as wildly as they did in Las Vegas over the past 10 years. After nearly doubling from 2002 to 2006, real estate values in Sin City have since plummeted by 57 percent. But the area's glitzy casinos, abundant golf courses, and 320 days of sunshine a year continue to make life enjoyable for retirees. The median home price in the Las Vegas area was $142,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a slight increase from a year earlier. After making a 20 percent down payment--of $28,400--buyers will have monthly payments of $567 on a median priced home in the Las Vegas area.
3. San Antonio
This city has 300 days of sunshine a year, more than 50 golf courses, 21 distinct parks, and a calendar packed with festivals and events. History buffs can check out the Alamo, where Mexican and Texan troops staged their legendary battle in 1836, while art enthusiasts can visit one of the 63 local galleries. The median home price in San Antonio was $148,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a decline of roughly 3 percent from a year earlier. Buyers who put 20 percent down--or $29,600--on a median-priced San Antonio home will have monthly payments of roughly $591.
4. Greenville, S.C.
Greenville is tucked into the foothills of South Carolina's lovely Blue Ridge Mountains. Its 39 parks, minor league baseball team, and 14-acre zoo make this city of 62,000 an attractive spot for active retirees. The median home price in Greenville increased 7 percent, to $150,000, from the second quarter of 2009 to the same period this year. After making a 20 percent down payment--of $30,000--buyers will have monthly payments of $599 for principal and interest on a median-priced home in Greenville.
5. Boise, Idaho
With a population of 206,000, Boise, Idaho is a wonderful retirement spot for art lovers and outdoor enthusiasts alike. Residents can explore the 25-mile Greenbelt river path in the fall and head to the nearby mountains for skiing come winter. Boise State University offers continuing education programs and plenty of sporting events. Meanwhile, the city has a full menu of museums, theater groups, and other performing arts offerings. The median home price in the Boise area was $140,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a decline of roughly 13 percent from a year earlier. Buyers who put 20 percent down--or $28,000--on a median-priced home in the Boise area will have monthly payments of around $559.
6. Corpus Christi, Texas
Along the Gulf of Mexico in the Southeastern portion of Texas lies Corpus Christi. The community of 287,000 residents is located just outside the Padre Island National Seashore, an undeveloped, 130,000-acre playground of sand dunes and beaches. Visitors are permitted to drive along its shoreline or toss a fishing line in the water in the hopes of landing a saltwater catfish. The median home price in Corpus Christi increased slightly, to $136,000, from the second quarter of 2009 to the same period of 2010. After making a down payment of 20 percent--or $27,200--buyers will have monthly payments of around $543 for a median-priced home in Corpus Christi.
7. Tampa, Fla.
Whether it's boating on the bay, bass fishing in the Hillsborough River, or scanning for dolphin from its white-sand shorelines, the Tampa area has plenty of activities to offer retirees. Like many other markets in Florida, real estate values in Tampa have tanked in recent years, plummeting 42 percent since July 2006. The median home price in the Tampa area was $141,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a slight increase from a year earlier. Buyers who put 20 percent down--or $28,200--on a median-priced, Tampa-area home can expect to make payments for mortgage principal and interest of about $563 each month.
8. Columbia, Mo.
With 102,000 residents, Columbia, Mo., is the home of the University of Missouri. On account of Columbia's affiliation with the university, area residents can enroll in continuing education programs and cheer on the Tigers at football or basketball games. The median home price in the area was $147,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a slight increase from a year earlier. Buyers who make a down payment of 20 percent--or $29,400--on a median-priced, Columbia-area home will have monthly payments of about $587.
9. Tucson, Ariz.
With 350 days of sunshine a year, Tucson residents don't have any excuses for staying indoors. Retirees can hike through the five surrounding mountain ranges, explore a nearby cave, visit a Native American archaeological dig, or check out the Center for Creative Photography. The median home price in Tucson declined 14 percent, to $150,000, from the second quarter of 2009 to the same period of 2010. Buyers that put 20 percent--or $30,000--down on a median-priced Tucson home will pay roughly $599 a month in mortgage principal and interest payments.
10. Ft. Myers, Fla.
Located along the southwest coast of Florida, Ft. Myers is another affordable spot for retirement property in the Sunshine State. The median home price in Ft. Myers has increased 12 percent, to $94,000, from the second quarter of 2009 to the same period of 2010. After making a down payment of 20 percent-- or $18,800--buyers will have monthly payments of about $375 on a median-priced home in Ft. Myers.
For Americans looking to buy retirement property, the historic real estate crash has created all sorts of opportunities. Home prices in 20 major metropolitan areas have declined roughly 28 percent from their 2006 peaks. Meanwhile, government efforts to ramp up demand for homes have significantly reduced mortgage costs for borrowers. Thirty-year fixed mortgage rates stood at 4.37 percent for the week ending September 16, only slightly above the 39-year lows reached two weeks earlier.
Taken together, lower home prices and cheap mortgage rates have made home buying much more affordable than just a few years ago. And given that real estate values in many traditional retirement spots--like Florida and Arizona--have fallen even harder than the national average, Americans who are ready to embark on the second half of their lives are in a particularly favorable position. To that end, U.S. News has compiled a list of 10 places where retirement home buyers can purchase property for less than $600 a month.
In putting together our list, we obtained median home price data from the National Association of Realtors for 159 metropolitan statistical areas throughout the country. After subtracting a 20 percent down payment, we plugged the remaining figure into a mortgage calculator using a 4.37 percent rate on a 30-year fixed mortgage. We then looked for places that would make desirable retirement destinations and whose monthly mortgage payments totaled less than $600. Please note that these monthly payments only reflect costs for mortgage principal and interest, which will represent the majority of a homeowner's monthly housing expenses. It does not, however, take into account expenses for taxes, insurance, and utilities, which can vary significantly from one place to another.
1. Phoenix
With more than 200 golf courses, many miles of outdoor trails, and all sorts of museums and art galleries, the Phoenix area has long been an attractive retirement destination. Home prices in Phoenix doubled from 2002 to 2006, but dropped 51 percent as the real estate bubble deflated. The bust, however, has helped make the area's real estate market more affordable for would-be retirement home buyers. The median home price in the Phoenix area stood at $145,000 in the second quarter of 2010, up 11 percent from a year earlier. Buyers that put 20 percent down--or $29,000--on a median-priced Phoenix home will have monthly payments of roughly $579 for mortgage principal and interest.
2. Las Vegas
Few American cities have seen home prices swing as wildly as they did in Las Vegas over the past 10 years. After nearly doubling from 2002 to 2006, real estate values in Sin City have since plummeted by 57 percent. But the area's glitzy casinos, abundant golf courses, and 320 days of sunshine a year continue to make life enjoyable for retirees. The median home price in the Las Vegas area was $142,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a slight increase from a year earlier. After making a 20 percent down payment--of $28,400--buyers will have monthly payments of $567 on a median priced home in the Las Vegas area.
3. San Antonio
This city has 300 days of sunshine a year, more than 50 golf courses, 21 distinct parks, and a calendar packed with festivals and events. History buffs can check out the Alamo, where Mexican and Texan troops staged their legendary battle in 1836, while art enthusiasts can visit one of the 63 local galleries. The median home price in San Antonio was $148,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a decline of roughly 3 percent from a year earlier. Buyers who put 20 percent down--or $29,600--on a median-priced San Antonio home will have monthly payments of roughly $591.
4. Greenville, S.C.
Greenville is tucked into the foothills of South Carolina's lovely Blue Ridge Mountains. Its 39 parks, minor league baseball team, and 14-acre zoo make this city of 62,000 an attractive spot for active retirees. The median home price in Greenville increased 7 percent, to $150,000, from the second quarter of 2009 to the same period this year. After making a 20 percent down payment--of $30,000--buyers will have monthly payments of $599 for principal and interest on a median-priced home in Greenville.
5. Boise, Idaho
With a population of 206,000, Boise, Idaho is a wonderful retirement spot for art lovers and outdoor enthusiasts alike. Residents can explore the 25-mile Greenbelt river path in the fall and head to the nearby mountains for skiing come winter. Boise State University offers continuing education programs and plenty of sporting events. Meanwhile, the city has a full menu of museums, theater groups, and other performing arts offerings. The median home price in the Boise area was $140,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a decline of roughly 13 percent from a year earlier. Buyers who put 20 percent down--or $28,000--on a median-priced home in the Boise area will have monthly payments of around $559.
6. Corpus Christi, Texas
Along the Gulf of Mexico in the Southeastern portion of Texas lies Corpus Christi. The community of 287,000 residents is located just outside the Padre Island National Seashore, an undeveloped, 130,000-acre playground of sand dunes and beaches. Visitors are permitted to drive along its shoreline or toss a fishing line in the water in the hopes of landing a saltwater catfish. The median home price in Corpus Christi increased slightly, to $136,000, from the second quarter of 2009 to the same period of 2010. After making a down payment of 20 percent--or $27,200--buyers will have monthly payments of around $543 for a median-priced home in Corpus Christi.
7. Tampa, Fla.
Whether it's boating on the bay, bass fishing in the Hillsborough River, or scanning for dolphin from its white-sand shorelines, the Tampa area has plenty of activities to offer retirees. Like many other markets in Florida, real estate values in Tampa have tanked in recent years, plummeting 42 percent since July 2006. The median home price in the Tampa area was $141,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a slight increase from a year earlier. Buyers who put 20 percent down--or $28,200--on a median-priced, Tampa-area home can expect to make payments for mortgage principal and interest of about $563 each month.
8. Columbia, Mo.
With 102,000 residents, Columbia, Mo., is the home of the University of Missouri. On account of Columbia's affiliation with the university, area residents can enroll in continuing education programs and cheer on the Tigers at football or basketball games. The median home price in the area was $147,000 in the second quarter of 2010, a slight increase from a year earlier. Buyers who make a down payment of 20 percent--or $29,400--on a median-priced, Columbia-area home will have monthly payments of about $587.
9. Tucson, Ariz.
With 350 days of sunshine a year, Tucson residents don't have any excuses for staying indoors. Retirees can hike through the five surrounding mountain ranges, explore a nearby cave, visit a Native American archaeological dig, or check out the Center for Creative Photography. The median home price in Tucson declined 14 percent, to $150,000, from the second quarter of 2009 to the same period of 2010. Buyers that put 20 percent--or $30,000--down on a median-priced Tucson home will pay roughly $599 a month in mortgage principal and interest payments.
10. Ft. Myers, Fla.
Located along the southwest coast of Florida, Ft. Myers is another affordable spot for retirement property in the Sunshine State. The median home price in Ft. Myers has increased 12 percent, to $94,000, from the second quarter of 2009 to the same period of 2010. After making a down payment of 20 percent-- or $18,800--buyers will have monthly payments of about $375 on a median-priced home in Ft. Myers.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Majestic Score
When a high school player with Down's Syndrome scores a touchdown, you smile a little.
How High?
“Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when I know there are footprints on the moon.” Paul Brandt
Sunday, September 26, 2010
High/Low Week 38, 2010
I'm tolerant of low points caused by innocent mistakes rather than slips of character. That court summons that came to me was unsettling when I heard a rumor that the owner of the home will be unable to sell the property. Supposedly, this is because a lien acts like a poison against the ability for any potential buyer of that unit to get a loan, thereby making the place unsalable. At this point it's conjecture, but my understanding was that a lien simply locks in our claim against any unpaid condo fees by the owner out of the sale proceeds (which our attorney confirmed that it does). There will be more to learn about this "blocking loan" assertion, but those fees had grown so large, that something had to be done to legally protect the interests. So while there was some unpleasant surprise in the mix, there is surely a way to enable everyone to be well served by the situation.
Another defiant neighbor incident stirred up additional work for the Board to rule upon, and was another contributor to the meeting with the attorney. This has been the busiest summer as a Board member yet! But it's spurring stronger discipline and education in the regulations of the association, always an upside to short-term challenges.
What's up?
Fantasy sports statistics, for one. At last, all five teams have reached first place, with one week to go in the baseball season. The football team eked out a first-week win.
Number of books read, for another. Was able to polish off two books this week, an indication of being freed from volunteer work more so than previous weeks.
Our percent completion of a big project at work. It's been unstable for weeks, but we made steps forward and more importantly, locked in a plan of attack.
Progress toward the basketball season. We'll have a couple meetings to talk plans and strategy.
Dena's productivity. In anticipation of a retreat attended this weekend, she knocked out several graphic design projects.
Cardio fitness. I usually run the resistance setting on the elliptical machine at "14." This week it crept up to 15 for several minutes.
The old devils of backbiting and brooding held no quarter this week. The weather may be sliding backward, but inner strength has been on the rise!
Another defiant neighbor incident stirred up additional work for the Board to rule upon, and was another contributor to the meeting with the attorney. This has been the busiest summer as a Board member yet! But it's spurring stronger discipline and education in the regulations of the association, always an upside to short-term challenges.
What's up?
Fantasy sports statistics, for one. At last, all five teams have reached first place, with one week to go in the baseball season. The football team eked out a first-week win.
Number of books read, for another. Was able to polish off two books this week, an indication of being freed from volunteer work more so than previous weeks.
Our percent completion of a big project at work. It's been unstable for weeks, but we made steps forward and more importantly, locked in a plan of attack.
Progress toward the basketball season. We'll have a couple meetings to talk plans and strategy.
Dena's productivity. In anticipation of a retreat attended this weekend, she knocked out several graphic design projects.
Cardio fitness. I usually run the resistance setting on the elliptical machine at "14." This week it crept up to 15 for several minutes.
The old devils of backbiting and brooding held no quarter this week. The weather may be sliding backward, but inner strength has been on the rise!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
It's About Time
"We have a strong preference for businesses we know. We're more likely to invest in a handful of big bets rather than spread our investment dollars around thinly." - Don Graham
Sure, Graham's talking about business investing. But we invest our time too. Are we stretched too thin?
Now that it's been two years since I changed jobs, things are more settled. Basketball coaching will consume plenty of volunteer time. Condo board will consume the rest. There's prospect for a soccer team to get some cardio, and I've been loyal to the rest of the exercise routine for over a year. That should still leave enough time to pursue other resolutions! Balance matters. Growth matters.
Sure, Graham's talking about business investing. But we invest our time too. Are we stretched too thin?
Now that it's been two years since I changed jobs, things are more settled. Basketball coaching will consume plenty of volunteer time. Condo board will consume the rest. There's prospect for a soccer team to get some cardio, and I've been loyal to the rest of the exercise routine for over a year. That should still leave enough time to pursue other resolutions! Balance matters. Growth matters.
Bunch Of Investment Stuff
Look away, audience... this is where I'm storing personal notes about Buffett's investment strategy for future reference. Not funny, not witty, just a bit inspired.
Successful investing approaches stock purchase as though buying a business, pretending as if the decision can't be undone for ten years. To do any less is to speculate, and yield to temptation of short-term price movements that belie the true future prospects of a company.
12 Tenets of Buying a Business
1. The business should be simple and understandable. Cable T.V., not the human genome, you know?
2. The business should have a consistent operating history. Not a new start-up. Not wild fluctuations.
3. Favorable long-term prospects. "Franchises" are better than those in a commodity-type market.
4. Rational management. Reinvest earnings in the company. Few acquisitions of unrelated companies.
5. Candid management. Disclose each business separately, not consolidate. Disclose your mistakes too!
6. Management avoids mindless imitation of peers.
7. Focus on return on equity, not price per share. A/B, where A = operating earnings - capital gains, B = securities at cost, not market value. Little or net debt.
8. Focus on owner earnings. That is, net income + depletion, depreciation, amortization - capital expenditures.
9. Look for high profit margins. Good cost management.
10. $1 premise. Each $1 of retained earnings should create at least $1 of market value.
11. Value. Discount future anticipated cash flows at long term U.S. government bond rate, without a risk premium.
12. Attractive price. The value should be at least 25% discount to the market price.
Successful investing approaches stock purchase as though buying a business, pretending as if the decision can't be undone for ten years. To do any less is to speculate, and yield to temptation of short-term price movements that belie the true future prospects of a company.
12 Tenets of Buying a Business
1. The business should be simple and understandable. Cable T.V., not the human genome, you know?
2. The business should have a consistent operating history. Not a new start-up. Not wild fluctuations.
3. Favorable long-term prospects. "Franchises" are better than those in a commodity-type market.
4. Rational management. Reinvest earnings in the company. Few acquisitions of unrelated companies.
5. Candid management. Disclose each business separately, not consolidate. Disclose your mistakes too!
6. Management avoids mindless imitation of peers.
7. Focus on return on equity, not price per share. A/B, where A = operating earnings - capital gains, B = securities at cost, not market value. Little or net debt.
8. Focus on owner earnings. That is, net income + depletion, depreciation, amortization - capital expenditures.
9. Look for high profit margins. Good cost management.
10. $1 premise. Each $1 of retained earnings should create at least $1 of market value.
11. Value. Discount future anticipated cash flows at long term U.S. government bond rate, without a risk premium.
12. Attractive price. The value should be at least 25% discount to the market price.
The Future Is Bright, Sucker
"It's optimism that is the enemy of the rational buyer." - Warren Buffett
Making money in the market is about finding undervalued prospects. When everyone's in love with something, it's probably not undervalued! They say that investing is about being greedy when people are fearful, and fearful when people are greedy. Buffett bought into Geico when its stock fell below $10. He bought into Coca-Cola at a low point. Looking past momentary pessimism, toward the true long-term prospects, is where success is born.
Making money in the market is about finding undervalued prospects. When everyone's in love with something, it's probably not undervalued! They say that investing is about being greedy when people are fearful, and fearful when people are greedy. Buffett bought into Geico when its stock fell below $10. He bought into Coca-Cola at a low point. Looking past momentary pessimism, toward the true long-term prospects, is where success is born.
Keep On Driving
It's always sunny somewhere! Keep on driving while you're under the clouds. Sooner or later they're going to be in the rear view mirror.
The Best Season
One man's perspective:
Summer is the best season. Daylight is the longest. There's least rain, i.e maximum sunshine. Every day is warm enough to read quietly outside, at least for a while. If it's too hot, there's a pool nearby. Hot weather is great for burning calories.
Spring is second. Daylight gets longer every day. Flowers and grass come to life. Temperatures gradually rise. Rain abounds.
Fall is third. Daylight and temperatures wither. Rain. Bare trees. Crisp air gives it some life, but it's the hospice of seasons.
Winter is fourth. Thick clothes. Slow, dangerous driving. Wind so cold it sends desk jockeys sprinting to their cars. Pretty snowfall is the silver lining of this coma-like period.
Anyone have a different ranking? I'm guessing that Fall, Spring, Summer, Winter is going to get a vote or two.
Summer is the best season. Daylight is the longest. There's least rain, i.e maximum sunshine. Every day is warm enough to read quietly outside, at least for a while. If it's too hot, there's a pool nearby. Hot weather is great for burning calories.
Spring is second. Daylight gets longer every day. Flowers and grass come to life. Temperatures gradually rise. Rain abounds.
Fall is third. Daylight and temperatures wither. Rain. Bare trees. Crisp air gives it some life, but it's the hospice of seasons.
Winter is fourth. Thick clothes. Slow, dangerous driving. Wind so cold it sends desk jockeys sprinting to their cars. Pretty snowfall is the silver lining of this coma-like period.
Anyone have a different ranking? I'm guessing that Fall, Spring, Summer, Winter is going to get a vote or two.
Pitching And Moaning
In game four of the 1996 World Series, pitcher Kenny Rogers was getting shelled by the Atlanta Braves as the New York Yankees fell behind early. However, he did manage the team's first base hit. Standing on the bag, he said to his first base coach, "I'm glad I can hit, because I'm not pitching very good."
Later, his manager Joe Torre learned of that comment. "I didn't think that was real funny. It's that false mentality, trying to make light of the situation. Even when you're kidding, there's still that negative thought in your head."
I agree. However slightly it may be, spewing out some of that gallows humor just swishes around the negativity of the situation. Better to find an uplifting thought, or at the very least a strong one, which starts the climb toward success.
Later, his manager Joe Torre learned of that comment. "I didn't think that was real funny. It's that false mentality, trying to make light of the situation. Even when you're kidding, there's still that negative thought in your head."
I agree. However slightly it may be, spewing out some of that gallows humor just swishes around the negativity of the situation. Better to find an uplifting thought, or at the very least a strong one, which starts the climb toward success.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
At My Service
I was served with a court summons today.
Okay, not really... as treasurer of the condo board I was obligated to file a lien against a unit owner in significant default on paying the monthly fees. Evidently that was enough to trigger their bank to begin foreclosure proceedings. I received a copy when a processor arrived to serve the papers. If not resolved within 30 days, the bank takes over. And as a secondary creditor, we receive payment to cover the fees after the bank's mortgage is satisfied.
You hate to see a good person put in this situation. You never know which way the wind will blow. Hopefully it ultimately fills their sails in a good direction.
Okay, not really... as treasurer of the condo board I was obligated to file a lien against a unit owner in significant default on paying the monthly fees. Evidently that was enough to trigger their bank to begin foreclosure proceedings. I received a copy when a processor arrived to serve the papers. If not resolved within 30 days, the bank takes over. And as a secondary creditor, we receive payment to cover the fees after the bank's mortgage is satisfied.
You hate to see a good person put in this situation. You never know which way the wind will blow. Hopefully it ultimately fills their sails in a good direction.
So FHA, So Good
We have at least four condominium units up for sale, and another 2-3 interested in going to market. And what a seller's market it is! We were visited by some realtors at the condo board meeting and told that the number of residences up for sale, in all income brackets, locations, and styles, is at least twice as deep as usual.
One barrier to sale are the heightened scrutiny placed on loan applicants. It's a good thing generally, perhaps a bit of an overreaction momentarily. Conventional loans may require 20% down payment. Meanwhile FHA loans, which are available to those with somewhat lower incomes and credit score, require closer to 3.5% down payment. Furthermore, condominiums are required to be inspected and registered with the FHA in order to be considered at all.
The last week's been a flurry of activity in gathering and converting to .pdf copies of our insurance, by-laws, budget, reserve projection, and flood map study. What percentage of units are more than 30 days overdue in their condo fees? What percentage hold FHA loans already (maximum concentration 30%)? What percentage is used for commercial purposes? What percentage are occupied by owners? On and on...
Fortunately, a realtor is helping us gather much of the data, and is also filing the application on our behalf with the FHA. Hopefully the government will do its part, and soon our owners will find it easier to get themselves into new homes.
One barrier to sale are the heightened scrutiny placed on loan applicants. It's a good thing generally, perhaps a bit of an overreaction momentarily. Conventional loans may require 20% down payment. Meanwhile FHA loans, which are available to those with somewhat lower incomes and credit score, require closer to 3.5% down payment. Furthermore, condominiums are required to be inspected and registered with the FHA in order to be considered at all.
The last week's been a flurry of activity in gathering and converting to .pdf copies of our insurance, by-laws, budget, reserve projection, and flood map study. What percentage of units are more than 30 days overdue in their condo fees? What percentage hold FHA loans already (maximum concentration 30%)? What percentage is used for commercial purposes? What percentage are occupied by owners? On and on...
Fortunately, a realtor is helping us gather much of the data, and is also filing the application on our behalf with the FHA. Hopefully the government will do its part, and soon our owners will find it easier to get themselves into new homes.
Onion's Pro Football Forecasts
It looks like the Chicago Bears are given their well-earned respect here...
And the Youngs will care about how the Steelers stack up against their division rivals...
And the Freidingers worried about the Cowboys' loss to the Bears might find comfort in these observations.
And the Youngs will care about how the Steelers stack up against their division rivals...
And the Freidingers worried about the Cowboys' loss to the Bears might find comfort in these observations.
Obama Releases 500,000 Men From U.S. Strategic Bachelor Reserve
Must've been hard for those guys to leave the comfort of the catacombs...
Galaxy Of Scars
Few people seek scars...
- From teenage acne, thanks to too much sugar and too little washing
- From a spot of hot wax during my "Star Wars figure arsonist" days
- From surgery to remove a cyst
- From thirty years of basketball scrapes
Even if we don't choose them, they needn't create dismay... they remind us who we are.
- Through the lessons of good diet and hygiene
- Through care in dangerous situations
- Through the mindfulness of how frail life is
- Through the thankfulness for recreation time and good health
Ah, the mental scars too... those small yet powerful moments that teach lessons through mistakes.
We grow when we acknowledge them, remember what we've gained... and resist the urge to pick at them in body or mind.
- From teenage acne, thanks to too much sugar and too little washing
- From a spot of hot wax during my "Star Wars figure arsonist" days
- From surgery to remove a cyst
- From thirty years of basketball scrapes
Even if we don't choose them, they needn't create dismay... they remind us who we are.
- Through the lessons of good diet and hygiene
- Through care in dangerous situations
- Through the mindfulness of how frail life is
- Through the thankfulness for recreation time and good health
Ah, the mental scars too... those small yet powerful moments that teach lessons through mistakes.
We grow when we acknowledge them, remember what we've gained... and resist the urge to pick at them in body or mind.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Man Unwittingly Picks Perfect Place To Blunder
A man was too foolish to realize that listening to a radio would kill his wife's car's battery. That might explain the dumb luck which saved the day.
After accompanying his wife to a meeting that ran long, she offered him the car keys to pass the extra time away.
Sitting in the quiet parking lot, he engaged the battery without starting the car so that he could listen to the radio. As dusk settled in, he lowered the windows for cool breezes and turned on the overhead lamp.
Twenty minutes later, as his wife got within a hundred feet of the car, the radio suddenly went quiet.
"I thought that was cool timing," the dunce cap nominee recalled.
Uncool, actually. She sat down, turned the key, and was greeted with the heart-dropping sound of a dead battery's irritated clicking. She flashed a look at the idiot, whose eyes grew wide.
"I could run (five miles round trip) home and get my car," brainstormed Captain Lobotomy.
She didn't need to respond to the drivel. She was pretty sure they could find someone to help jump the car.
They were at church.
Rendered mute by the overwhelming complexity of the moment, the moron wandered idly toward the front of the vehicle, staring vacuously at the empty car in the adjacent parking spot. Meanwhile, with darkness nearly upon them and the last stragglers departing the sanctuary, she saw the owner of the neighboring car walking toward them, and approached him for help.
The teenager was six foot two. Two hundred twenty five pounds, built like a football player.
He was an Eagle Scout.
He was in uniform.
Complete with kerchief and knee-length shorts.
The next few minutes were a flurry of American teamwork. Scout figured out how to unlatch the hood. Wife provided the jumper cables. Dad of Scout showed up, along with Mom of Scout and Siblings of Scout to cheer him on. Even the numbskull managed to figure out how to prop open the hood once given a long metal stick.
"I'm so thankful," she said, undoubtedly referring to the good fortune of kind-hearted souls and of having a fully-functional brain to prevent the house from being burned to a crisp, flooded with water or otherwise made uninhabitable.
After accompanying his wife to a meeting that ran long, she offered him the car keys to pass the extra time away.
Sitting in the quiet parking lot, he engaged the battery without starting the car so that he could listen to the radio. As dusk settled in, he lowered the windows for cool breezes and turned on the overhead lamp.
Twenty minutes later, as his wife got within a hundred feet of the car, the radio suddenly went quiet.
"I thought that was cool timing," the dunce cap nominee recalled.
Uncool, actually. She sat down, turned the key, and was greeted with the heart-dropping sound of a dead battery's irritated clicking. She flashed a look at the idiot, whose eyes grew wide.
"I could run (five miles round trip) home and get my car," brainstormed Captain Lobotomy.
She didn't need to respond to the drivel. She was pretty sure they could find someone to help jump the car.
They were at church.
Rendered mute by the overwhelming complexity of the moment, the moron wandered idly toward the front of the vehicle, staring vacuously at the empty car in the adjacent parking spot. Meanwhile, with darkness nearly upon them and the last stragglers departing the sanctuary, she saw the owner of the neighboring car walking toward them, and approached him for help.
The teenager was six foot two. Two hundred twenty five pounds, built like a football player.
He was an Eagle Scout.
He was in uniform.
Complete with kerchief and knee-length shorts.
The next few minutes were a flurry of American teamwork. Scout figured out how to unlatch the hood. Wife provided the jumper cables. Dad of Scout showed up, along with Mom of Scout and Siblings of Scout to cheer him on. Even the numbskull managed to figure out how to prop open the hood once given a long metal stick.
"I'm so thankful," she said, undoubtedly referring to the good fortune of kind-hearted souls and of having a fully-functional brain to prevent the house from being burned to a crisp, flooded with water or otherwise made uninhabitable.
High/Low Week 37, 2010
This week flew by a bit faster than usual. Work started to backlog. Condominium board responsibilities consumed enough time that by day's end, I had strength left to drift through some sports magazines but not to do my usual educational reading. And the last full week of summer yielded cooler temperatures and a few more clouds and rain.
On Monday we were one penalty kick away from winning a soccer game against a more talented team, then proceeded to miss our last two. The other team rallied to tie, and I walked off the field since I'd already nailed my kick (100% for the season) and could hardly bear to see the end. That collapse of faith was pretty embarrassing, and proven wrong when we still managed to win anyway. Finishing the season at 5-7 and missing the playoffs by one game was a satisfying improvement from a mighty early season struggle. A couple of the guys even talked about forming a winter league team to stay in shape. Ending the season on an upswing is the way to be.
After dragging on Friday afternoon, a good nap on Saturday sparked a flurry of productivity in the evening. Got out from under a mound of paperwork. Watched the highlights of Alabama crushing another opponent (and ignored Notre Dame losing a heartbreaker).
There was some tension due to missed deadlines this week. There were several "crucial conversations" on multiple projects, tinged with anxieties. And the course through it was to focus on the big picture goals, to clarify expectations, and to listen. On the whole, it felt like we succeeded. The mood of co-workers was up by the end of the week.
Dena received a hearty dividend check from some stock. Thanks, Goodfield State Bank! Her graphic design plate is full this upcoming week as she gets ready for the Great Banquet religious weekend retreat starting Thursday. And we got a chance to grab some lunch with our favorite childless couple the Hardens.
Evidently I got the first pick in the fantasy football draft, as my season began today. And my lone second-place baseball team soared to within 1 point of first place, its closest point of the season with about two weeks to go.
And now I sit here on a cool evening, enjoying a root beer float courtesy of Dena.
Next week looks better than the last. Bring it on!
On Monday we were one penalty kick away from winning a soccer game against a more talented team, then proceeded to miss our last two. The other team rallied to tie, and I walked off the field since I'd already nailed my kick (100% for the season) and could hardly bear to see the end. That collapse of faith was pretty embarrassing, and proven wrong when we still managed to win anyway. Finishing the season at 5-7 and missing the playoffs by one game was a satisfying improvement from a mighty early season struggle. A couple of the guys even talked about forming a winter league team to stay in shape. Ending the season on an upswing is the way to be.
After dragging on Friday afternoon, a good nap on Saturday sparked a flurry of productivity in the evening. Got out from under a mound of paperwork. Watched the highlights of Alabama crushing another opponent (and ignored Notre Dame losing a heartbreaker).
There was some tension due to missed deadlines this week. There were several "crucial conversations" on multiple projects, tinged with anxieties. And the course through it was to focus on the big picture goals, to clarify expectations, and to listen. On the whole, it felt like we succeeded. The mood of co-workers was up by the end of the week.
Dena received a hearty dividend check from some stock. Thanks, Goodfield State Bank! Her graphic design plate is full this upcoming week as she gets ready for the Great Banquet religious weekend retreat starting Thursday. And we got a chance to grab some lunch with our favorite childless couple the Hardens.
Evidently I got the first pick in the fantasy football draft, as my season began today. And my lone second-place baseball team soared to within 1 point of first place, its closest point of the season with about two weeks to go.
And now I sit here on a cool evening, enjoying a root beer float courtesy of Dena.
Next week looks better than the last. Bring it on!
The Priceless Past
"If history books were the key to riches, the Forbes 400 would consist of librarians." - Warren Buffett
In the stock market, price is important to many people. The news report every evening highlights the performance of the Dow Jones Industrial Average and the Standard & Poor's 500 that day. But maturity in the market, as in life, places little value on the fluctuations of a single day. On Friday I was pretty weary in the afternoon, and less productive than I am on my best days. Did my value as an employee drop? Naw, just needed a bit of extra rest. This weekend I found a burst and got some catch-up work done as a result.
The failures of the past and the present don't have to be indicative of who we become. Our destiny for success depends on us seeing it, rather than some false projection from the miscues of the recent past. Our mood, like those of the fickle market, will surge again soon.
In the stock market, price is important to many people. The news report every evening highlights the performance of the Dow Jones Industrial Average and the Standard & Poor's 500 that day. But maturity in the market, as in life, places little value on the fluctuations of a single day. On Friday I was pretty weary in the afternoon, and less productive than I am on my best days. Did my value as an employee drop? Naw, just needed a bit of extra rest. This weekend I found a burst and got some catch-up work done as a result.
The failures of the past and the present don't have to be indicative of who we become. Our destiny for success depends on us seeing it, rather than some false projection from the miscues of the recent past. Our mood, like those of the fickle market, will surge again soon.
What To Do (And Not) When Pulled Over
From Yahoo! News:
Police officers are not out to make your life miserable, but to make sure you're following the rules of the road and not endangering yourself or those around you.
With a few exceptions, and an egregious traffic violation is top among them, cops aren't mandated to write tickets. Most would rather send you on your way with a friendly warning -- that can save you time and money.
But handle the situation with an aggressive or arrogant attitude and you can expect to squeeze an expensive court date into your busy schedule.
Play Nice
First rule: don't argue.
"I get this all the time," said Karen Rittorno, a nine-year veteran with the Chicago Police Department. "'What are you stopping me for? I didn't do nothing.' If they try to take charge of the traffic stop, they're not going to get out of it without a ticket," she said. "We ask the questions, not them."
Accept that the police have caught you doing something that's against the law, such as speeding or gliding through a stop sign.
"All we do is react to what people do when you pull them over," said Dennis Fanning, a homicide detective and veteran officer with the Los Angeles Police Department. "We don't instigate the stuff, but we will react to you. The situation will escalate or de-escalate depending on how that person reacts."
To argue with cops is akin to calling them idiots. Don't do that. "That's implying that I pulled you over for no reason and that bothers me," Koep said.
Keep It Honest
Don't lie, either. Cops are trained to note the human characteristics of lying, including twitching and looking to the left, and they know the right questions to ask to suss out the truth.
Fanning estimates that nine out of 10 people lie to him. "It's an attack on our intelligence," he said.
Moreover, the truth can set you free. Koep recalled an incident when he pulled a young guy over for speeding.
"He looks straight at me and says, 'You know, officer, I wasn't even paying attention. I just had the best date of my life. I just met my future bride. I'm just on cloud nine right now.'
"The guy was completely serious," Koep said. "How are you going to write that guy up after that? Who makes that kind of stuff up?"
Of course, don't use pejoratives when addressing the police, unless you're eager for a ticket. But other words may backfire, too. Rittorno works in a crime-ridden section of Chicago where the majority of people she pulls over for traffic violations don't have licenses or insurance, she said.
"So I get a lot of, 'I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean it, sweetheart,'" she said. "I hate being called 'baby' or 'sweetheart.' I'm 'officer' to you.''
The police don't like being talked over, either. "Be polite," said Chicago Officer Mike Thomas. "You have your rights as a citizen, too, but it doesn't do you any good to talk while he's talking."
Cops know that people are nervous when they get pulled over, and they expect a certain amount of jumpiness when they approach a car. Rittorno even admitted she's intimidated in the same situation. "I'm the police and I get scared if I get pulled over," she said.
But did you know they're on edge, too? You know who they are, but they don't know whether you're a good guy or a bad guy. "The only thing on his mind when he approaches you is safety," Thomas said. "You know you don't have a gun in your lap, but the officer doesn't know it."
Rittorno, for one, said she assumes everyone has a gun. "I'm always on 10," she said, referring to her high level of vigilance. "I take it down depending on their demeanor or what I see."
Stay Calm
When those headlights go on, it's best to pull the car to the right, stay in the car, turn the interior lights on if it's dark and put your hands on the steering wheel.
Don't make any quick movements, and don't turn to grab your purse or put your hands in your pocket or under your seat to retrieve your license -- until the officer instructs you to. Then, do it slowly.
Don't move to open the glove box either, until directed. And do that slowly, too. Let the police shine a light inside the box before you reach in. Many criminals hide guns in glove boxes.
"What's going to cause the situation to get worse is for the fear factor to rise in that officer," Koep said. "The officer is more likely to cut you a break as long as you can reduce that fear. …If you're friendly with me, not arguing or denying what happened, that lowers the fear factor and will make me a lot more cooperative with you."
Don't boast about who you know, either. That can infuriate cops. They consider it a veiled threat to their livelihoods. Fortunately, most municipalities have laws in place to insure that an officer is not fired or reprimanded for ticketing, say, the mayor's daughter.
Finally, never try to buy off a cop. "In those instances where they've offered me a bribe," Fanning said. "I loved making those arrests."
Police officers are not out to make your life miserable, but to make sure you're following the rules of the road and not endangering yourself or those around you.
With a few exceptions, and an egregious traffic violation is top among them, cops aren't mandated to write tickets. Most would rather send you on your way with a friendly warning -- that can save you time and money.
But handle the situation with an aggressive or arrogant attitude and you can expect to squeeze an expensive court date into your busy schedule.
Play Nice
First rule: don't argue.
"I get this all the time," said Karen Rittorno, a nine-year veteran with the Chicago Police Department. "'What are you stopping me for? I didn't do nothing.' If they try to take charge of the traffic stop, they're not going to get out of it without a ticket," she said. "We ask the questions, not them."
Accept that the police have caught you doing something that's against the law, such as speeding or gliding through a stop sign.
"All we do is react to what people do when you pull them over," said Dennis Fanning, a homicide detective and veteran officer with the Los Angeles Police Department. "We don't instigate the stuff, but we will react to you. The situation will escalate or de-escalate depending on how that person reacts."
To argue with cops is akin to calling them idiots. Don't do that. "That's implying that I pulled you over for no reason and that bothers me," Koep said.
Keep It Honest
Don't lie, either. Cops are trained to note the human characteristics of lying, including twitching and looking to the left, and they know the right questions to ask to suss out the truth.
Fanning estimates that nine out of 10 people lie to him. "It's an attack on our intelligence," he said.
Moreover, the truth can set you free. Koep recalled an incident when he pulled a young guy over for speeding.
"He looks straight at me and says, 'You know, officer, I wasn't even paying attention. I just had the best date of my life. I just met my future bride. I'm just on cloud nine right now.'
"The guy was completely serious," Koep said. "How are you going to write that guy up after that? Who makes that kind of stuff up?"
Of course, don't use pejoratives when addressing the police, unless you're eager for a ticket. But other words may backfire, too. Rittorno works in a crime-ridden section of Chicago where the majority of people she pulls over for traffic violations don't have licenses or insurance, she said.
"So I get a lot of, 'I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean it, sweetheart,'" she said. "I hate being called 'baby' or 'sweetheart.' I'm 'officer' to you.''
The police don't like being talked over, either. "Be polite," said Chicago Officer Mike Thomas. "You have your rights as a citizen, too, but it doesn't do you any good to talk while he's talking."
Cops know that people are nervous when they get pulled over, and they expect a certain amount of jumpiness when they approach a car. Rittorno even admitted she's intimidated in the same situation. "I'm the police and I get scared if I get pulled over," she said.
But did you know they're on edge, too? You know who they are, but they don't know whether you're a good guy or a bad guy. "The only thing on his mind when he approaches you is safety," Thomas said. "You know you don't have a gun in your lap, but the officer doesn't know it."
Rittorno, for one, said she assumes everyone has a gun. "I'm always on 10," she said, referring to her high level of vigilance. "I take it down depending on their demeanor or what I see."
Stay Calm
When those headlights go on, it's best to pull the car to the right, stay in the car, turn the interior lights on if it's dark and put your hands on the steering wheel.
Don't make any quick movements, and don't turn to grab your purse or put your hands in your pocket or under your seat to retrieve your license -- until the officer instructs you to. Then, do it slowly.
Don't move to open the glove box either, until directed. And do that slowly, too. Let the police shine a light inside the box before you reach in. Many criminals hide guns in glove boxes.
"What's going to cause the situation to get worse is for the fear factor to rise in that officer," Koep said. "The officer is more likely to cut you a break as long as you can reduce that fear. …If you're friendly with me, not arguing or denying what happened, that lowers the fear factor and will make me a lot more cooperative with you."
Don't boast about who you know, either. That can infuriate cops. They consider it a veiled threat to their livelihoods. Fortunately, most municipalities have laws in place to insure that an officer is not fired or reprimanded for ticketing, say, the mayor's daughter.
Finally, never try to buy off a cop. "In those instances where they've offered me a bribe," Fanning said. "I loved making those arrests."
Shiny Happy People
R.E.M. - one of the official bands of my Shallow Valley of Happiness...
Put on a pair of shoes and get dancing.
Put on a pair of shoes and get dancing.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Top Ten Retirement Places In America
According to Yahoo! personal finance:
1. Durham, NC
Population: 223,284
% over 50: 25%
Median home price: $163,000
State income tax: 7.75%*
Where to take classes: Duke University
2. Hanover, NH
Population: 8,516
% over 50: 25%
Median home price: $401,000
State income tax: 5%*
Where to take classes: Dartmouth College
3. Lexington, KY
Population: 291,201
% over 50: 29%
Median home price: $144,200
State income tax: 6%*
Where to take classes: University of Kentucky
4. Prescott, AZ
Population: 42,265
% over 50: 49%
Median home price: $230,500
State income tax: 4.54%*
Where to take classes: Yavapai College
5. Bellingham, WA
Population: 82,654
% over 50: 30%
Median home price: $258,450
Where to take classes: Western Washington University
6. Boise, ID
Population: 206,431
% over 50: 29%
Median home price: $140,100
State income tax: 7.8%*
Where to take classes: Boise State University
7. St. Petersburg, FL
Population: 245,314
% over 50: 36%
Median home price: $150,000
Where to take classes: Eckerd College
8. Huntsville, AL
Population: 176,645
% over 50: 35%
Median home price: $137,625
State income tax: 5%*
Where to take classes: University of Alabama, Huntsville
9. Austin, TX
Population: 799,267
% over 50: 22%
Median home price: $196,600
Where to take classes: University of Texas at Austin
10. Tucson, AZ
Population: 541,811
% over 50: 28%
Median home price: $156,000
State income tax: 4.54%*
Where to take classes: University of Arizona
1. Durham, NC
Population: 223,284
% over 50: 25%
Median home price: $163,000
State income tax: 7.75%*
Where to take classes: Duke University
2. Hanover, NH
Population: 8,516
% over 50: 25%
Median home price: $401,000
State income tax: 5%*
Where to take classes: Dartmouth College
3. Lexington, KY
Population: 291,201
% over 50: 29%
Median home price: $144,200
State income tax: 6%*
Where to take classes: University of Kentucky
4. Prescott, AZ
Population: 42,265
% over 50: 49%
Median home price: $230,500
State income tax: 4.54%*
Where to take classes: Yavapai College
5. Bellingham, WA
Population: 82,654
% over 50: 30%
Median home price: $258,450
Where to take classes: Western Washington University
6. Boise, ID
Population: 206,431
% over 50: 29%
Median home price: $140,100
State income tax: 7.8%*
Where to take classes: Boise State University
7. St. Petersburg, FL
Population: 245,314
% over 50: 36%
Median home price: $150,000
Where to take classes: Eckerd College
8. Huntsville, AL
Population: 176,645
% over 50: 35%
Median home price: $137,625
State income tax: 5%*
Where to take classes: University of Alabama, Huntsville
9. Austin, TX
Population: 799,267
% over 50: 22%
Median home price: $196,600
Where to take classes: University of Texas at Austin
10. Tucson, AZ
Population: 541,811
% over 50: 28%
Median home price: $156,000
State income tax: 4.54%*
Where to take classes: University of Arizona
Friday, September 17, 2010
Coast Of Living
Coast at your own risk! It'd be a shame to lose what you have because you lose your focus...
Head Over Heels
That's an expression for being crazy in love, right?
But... if your head is over your heels... isn't that, like, true all day long? Being "head over heels" just means that you're not lying down. Now that's romance!
But... if your head is over your heels... isn't that, like, true all day long? Being "head over heels" just means that you're not lying down. Now that's romance!
Derek Cheater
So baseball player Derek Jeter faked as if a pitched ball had hit his elbow, when he knew it had instead hit his bat. As a result, he was awarded first base, and later scored on a teammate's home run.
It was surprising to see that more than half of baseball fans felt like faking is part of the game - it's fair to do whatever you can get away with in order to win.
Tip to the IRS: Might want to set up an audit with the likes of ESPN analyst Rick Sutcliffe. And Derek Jeter.
It was surprising to see that more than half of baseball fans felt like faking is part of the game - it's fair to do whatever you can get away with in order to win.
Tip to the IRS: Might want to set up an audit with the likes of ESPN analyst Rick Sutcliffe. And Derek Jeter.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Not A Bad Mirror
"If you see a problem with everyone else, that's a pretty good indication that you're the problem." - Anonymous
Monday, September 13, 2010
High/Low Week 36, 2010
The week's low point was the Mount St. Helen's/Jerry Springer meeting, which weighs heavily upon teamwork and causes regrettable delays in the inevitable march toward progress.
The highs were everywhere though.
It was a busy week of work and volunteering, as the condominium board's invested a lot of time recently in enforcing compliance. Enforcement is never fun, and running on less than 6 hours of sleep a night is usually a recipe for struggles. But in learning to monitor my body's rhythms, it was easier to tough out the stress and realize that eventually I'd catch up on my sleep and things would improve.
We got an offer to join a small group... always uplifting to be wanted. That got trumped when Ryan offered me the chance to coach with him. This looks to be a great fit with an old friend. The sophomore practice schedule is slightly later in the day, just enough to enable me to get across town from work timely. I'll be helping coach the same class of players that I worked with last year, so chemistry is already there and I can focus more on learning X's and O's from a bright and experienced mind. Plus it cinches one of the new year's resolutions!
It'd be hard to understate the upswing of discovering that body fat percentage meter. It simultaneously provided the measuring tool I'd been looking for, and validated that I've met yet another resolution.
Near the end of the week, I got a breather and was able to start developing rankings for another fantasy football season. Meanwhile, 4 of the 5 baseball teams remain in first place. And Alabama rolled over Penn State, using a second-string running back mind you.
And of course, the sunniest summer I can remember just keeps on coming. Next week's bringing another round of 80 degree clear skies. Inside, too.
The highs were everywhere though.
It was a busy week of work and volunteering, as the condominium board's invested a lot of time recently in enforcing compliance. Enforcement is never fun, and running on less than 6 hours of sleep a night is usually a recipe for struggles. But in learning to monitor my body's rhythms, it was easier to tough out the stress and realize that eventually I'd catch up on my sleep and things would improve.
We got an offer to join a small group... always uplifting to be wanted. That got trumped when Ryan offered me the chance to coach with him. This looks to be a great fit with an old friend. The sophomore practice schedule is slightly later in the day, just enough to enable me to get across town from work timely. I'll be helping coach the same class of players that I worked with last year, so chemistry is already there and I can focus more on learning X's and O's from a bright and experienced mind. Plus it cinches one of the new year's resolutions!
It'd be hard to understate the upswing of discovering that body fat percentage meter. It simultaneously provided the measuring tool I'd been looking for, and validated that I've met yet another resolution.
Near the end of the week, I got a breather and was able to start developing rankings for another fantasy football season. Meanwhile, 4 of the 5 baseball teams remain in first place. And Alabama rolled over Penn State, using a second-string running back mind you.
And of course, the sunniest summer I can remember just keeps on coming. Next week's bringing another round of 80 degree clear skies. Inside, too.
NCHS Extends 1-Year Offer To Assistant Coach
The Normal Community High School sophomore boys' basketball team signed Joe McDonald as an assistant coach for the 2010-2011 season on Sunday.
Terms were not disclosed, but since assistant coaches are unpaid, you do the math.
McDonald's NCHS coaching experience will rank fourth on the bench, behind veteran head coach Ryan Short and his two young children.
"He brings qualities to our staff that you just can't teach," Short said. "Height, mainly."
The Ironmen's season schedule begins November 26.
Terms were not disclosed, but since assistant coaches are unpaid, you do the math.
McDonald's NCHS coaching experience will rank fourth on the bench, behind veteran head coach Ryan Short and his two young children.
"He brings qualities to our staff that you just can't teach," Short said. "Height, mainly."
The Ironmen's season schedule begins November 26.
McDonalds To Appear In Concert October 6
Joe and Dena McDonald will appear in concert at the Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts at 7:00 on October 6.
Also appearing will be the B-52s.
"Stay away fools," said singer Fred Schneider. "'Cause love rules, at the Lo-o-ove Shack," unwittingly referencing the McDonalds' condominium where at least five different residents met or dated their future spouse within a 4-year period that ended uncontroversially when Dena moved in.
The Georgia-based band will be staying overnight near a faded sign at the side of the road, 15 miles outside of town.
Also appearing will be the B-52s.
"Stay away fools," said singer Fred Schneider. "'Cause love rules, at the Lo-o-ove Shack," unwittingly referencing the McDonalds' condominium where at least five different residents met or dated their future spouse within a 4-year period that ended uncontroversially when Dena moved in.
The Georgia-based band will be staying overnight near a faded sign at the side of the road, 15 miles outside of town.
Listen Man
This week I was part of a meeting that became a circus of sarcasm, raised voices, condescension, baiting, berating and other relationship venom. It took a thousand meetings in my lifetime before finally experiencing the Mount St. Helens edition. I expected Jerry Springer to appear in the doorway. There was no real danger of fisticuffs, but it felt like watching a typhoon on an island full of coconuts through a fragile plate glass window.
While sitting there I could find thankfulness for the calm that comes through this weekly process of self-examination, and the mantra that everything's going to be all right. So easy to jump in or lose one's cool, especially as the theoretically half-hour meeting stretched into its 90th minute. So easy to step in and reprimand those in the fray. So freeing to just listen quietly, realizing that the storm would pass and we would regain happiness.
While sitting there I could find thankfulness for the calm that comes through this weekly process of self-examination, and the mantra that everything's going to be all right. So easy to jump in or lose one's cool, especially as the theoretically half-hour meeting stretched into its 90th minute. So easy to step in and reprimand those in the fray. So freeing to just listen quietly, realizing that the storm would pass and we would regain happiness.
Avatar
As luck would have it, just after I posted the top ten grossing movies of all-time, a neighbor loaned me the highest-drawing one ever.
Chances are most of you have seen it. The previews hadn't impressed me enough to head for the theater. But I should have.
The plot brought back memories of a handful of other movies:
Dances With Wolves. An ex-marine from Earth sneaks into a Native-American-like colony (of 12 foot tall aliens, but still...) on the planet of Pandora. His goal is to gather some military intelligence in order to clear the Na'vi from their village, so that the American corporation can mine the extremely valuable (and cheesily-named) substance unobtanium. However, the spiritual tribe grows on him, thanks in no small part to the beautiful woman who takes him in. By the end, he considers himself to be Na'vi (which is good, since his human body was paralyzed from the waist down). And you end up rooting against your own race.
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. You know that scene where the Ewoks use a clever array of forest booby-traps to defeat a small army of At-Ats and Stormtroopers? Multiply that by a hundred. Include flying things (mechanical for the humans, pteradactyl-like creatures for the Na'vi). Sweet, sweet, sweet.
Native spirituality captures some of the same essence of other religions. It was a poignant moment to see the hero reflecting just prior to the big battle while kneeling in conversation with the tree-spirits and asking for victory. And to hear his mate explain that the all-powerful spirit doesn't take sides, but rather preserves the balance of life. And of course, tree-spirit ultimately decides to break open a can of whoop-ass just in the nick of time. Good balance in the eyes of the audience!
Find yourself 162 minutes some weekend, with a good magazine in hand to bide a few slow parts, and become a statistic in the Avatar legions!
Chances are most of you have seen it. The previews hadn't impressed me enough to head for the theater. But I should have.
The plot brought back memories of a handful of other movies:
Dances With Wolves. An ex-marine from Earth sneaks into a Native-American-like colony (of 12 foot tall aliens, but still...) on the planet of Pandora. His goal is to gather some military intelligence in order to clear the Na'vi from their village, so that the American corporation can mine the extremely valuable (and cheesily-named) substance unobtanium. However, the spiritual tribe grows on him, thanks in no small part to the beautiful woman who takes him in. By the end, he considers himself to be Na'vi (which is good, since his human body was paralyzed from the waist down). And you end up rooting against your own race.
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. You know that scene where the Ewoks use a clever array of forest booby-traps to defeat a small army of At-Ats and Stormtroopers? Multiply that by a hundred. Include flying things (mechanical for the humans, pteradactyl-like creatures for the Na'vi). Sweet, sweet, sweet.
Native spirituality captures some of the same essence of other religions. It was a poignant moment to see the hero reflecting just prior to the big battle while kneeling in conversation with the tree-spirits and asking for victory. And to hear his mate explain that the all-powerful spirit doesn't take sides, but rather preserves the balance of life. And of course, tree-spirit ultimately decides to break open a can of whoop-ass just in the nick of time. Good balance in the eyes of the audience!
Find yourself 162 minutes some weekend, with a good magazine in hand to bide a few slow parts, and become a statistic in the Avatar legions!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
And If You Get Too Much, It's Hazardous To Your Health
"Advice is like snow; the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into, the mind." - Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Redefining Goals
This goalie's goal was to "block the shot" rather than to "prevent the goal"! Sometimes, goals are just messed up... especially when they lead to goals.
If you set your goals about goals too globally, go over those goals again until they're golden. Or else you'll be a goat of a goalie and give up goals.
Clear as tar?
If you set your goals about goals too globally, go over those goals again until they're golden. Or else you'll be a goat of a goalie and give up goals.
Clear as tar?
Top Ten Reasons Steelers Fans Are The Best
From co-worker Paulette, in tribute to my homies in Goodfield:
10. We are as tough as our team – we dish smack and we can take it, too
9. Heinz Field
8. We are die-hard at all times. Even when our team stinks we hold true to our team.
7. Steeler Nation - No matter where we live, we are all part of the Steeler Nation; we travel to away games
6. Only Three coaches since 1969
5. Nothing keeps us from the game if we have a ticket – rain, snow, sleet, sub zero temps – we’ll be there!
4. Rooney’s are the best owners in the NFL
3. No Crying in Football! – We get bad calls by the refs consistently but we make no excuses, no whining. We overcome and become better.
2. Terrible Towel and Myron Cope
1. We have six Super Bowl rings!
10. We are as tough as our team – we dish smack and we can take it, too
9. Heinz Field
8. We are die-hard at all times. Even when our team stinks we hold true to our team.
7. Steeler Nation - No matter where we live, we are all part of the Steeler Nation; we travel to away games
6. Only Three coaches since 1969
5. Nothing keeps us from the game if we have a ticket – rain, snow, sleet, sub zero temps – we’ll be there!
4. Rooney’s are the best owners in the NFL
3. No Crying in Football! – We get bad calls by the refs consistently but we make no excuses, no whining. We overcome and become better.
2. Terrible Towel and Myron Cope
1. We have six Super Bowl rings!
Friday, September 10, 2010
Quest For The Fat Truth
The Homedics scale I bought a year or so ago has disagreed with me since it first graced my bathroom floor. The suspicions with its ability to determine body fat percentage began when I was entering parameters. Age, yep. Sex, uh-huh. Height, sure. Then it asked whether or not I was an "elite" athlete. Wha? There was about a 3% body fat difference between "yes" or "no" to that subjective question. In time it was clear that drinking water increased my "fat" percentage. Ummm....
Hidden Bloggers and some co-workers know that I seek to keep tabs on that percentage. It stems from a visit from a nutritionist years ago who talked about the difference between weight-loss goals and body fat composition goals. It's the "quantity" vs. "quality" concept as applied to the world of personal health. Starving or sweating one's way to quantity (weight loss) can sacrifice muscle, cause dehydration and all its related symptoms like fatigue, eye strain, weakened immune system, etc. Changing one's composition - replacing fat with muscle - sold me.
My 2010 goal was to get down to 14%.
Earlier this week I was excited to stumble on a local business called "AlignLife" that purported to do composition analysis. Professionals! I thought. I called them, got a timid "um, let me check with the doctors and get back to you" response, and never heard back. Unprofessionals! I thought.
Then, out of the sky and in perfect ending to the work week, a pair of co-workers stopped by and urged me to go down to the medical department. There sat a hand-held device which read my percentage through my palms. It asked the same round of questions except for the dubious athlete one. Nearby was a paper chart showing the healthy range for my age to be 8-20%. That was nice validation that my goal was right in the middle.
My reading was 11.9%. Which makes way more sense than the 16% Homedics has been claiming. That's what I'm talking about! To think that, instead of "reduce body fat % to 14" as a goal I could've just said "find a device that tells me what I want to hear" and saved a whole lot of cardio.
I could write a cheer. Except that it's hard to come up with a rhyme for OMRON HBF-306. Maybe I'll just order one, and leave it at that...
Hidden Bloggers and some co-workers know that I seek to keep tabs on that percentage. It stems from a visit from a nutritionist years ago who talked about the difference between weight-loss goals and body fat composition goals. It's the "quantity" vs. "quality" concept as applied to the world of personal health. Starving or sweating one's way to quantity (weight loss) can sacrifice muscle, cause dehydration and all its related symptoms like fatigue, eye strain, weakened immune system, etc. Changing one's composition - replacing fat with muscle - sold me.
My 2010 goal was to get down to 14%.
Earlier this week I was excited to stumble on a local business called "AlignLife" that purported to do composition analysis. Professionals! I thought. I called them, got a timid "um, let me check with the doctors and get back to you" response, and never heard back. Unprofessionals! I thought.
Then, out of the sky and in perfect ending to the work week, a pair of co-workers stopped by and urged me to go down to the medical department. There sat a hand-held device which read my percentage through my palms. It asked the same round of questions except for the dubious athlete one. Nearby was a paper chart showing the healthy range for my age to be 8-20%. That was nice validation that my goal was right in the middle.
My reading was 11.9%. Which makes way more sense than the 16% Homedics has been claiming. That's what I'm talking about! To think that, instead of "reduce body fat % to 14" as a goal I could've just said "find a device that tells me what I want to hear" and saved a whole lot of cardio.
I could write a cheer. Except that it's hard to come up with a rhyme for OMRON HBF-306. Maybe I'll just order one, and leave it at that...
Not A Bad Opening Night
What kids across America dream of - throwing a game-winning 80-yard touchdown pass after eluding numerous would-be tacklers to keep the play alive. The quarterback was actually the team's starting running back!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Fantasy Football Rules
Once again, armed with three fantasy football magazines, it's time to take stock of the rules of Yahoo! league:
Playoffs: Week 15 & 16
(4 teams; 4 in consolation)
Fractional yardage points: Yes
Negative yardage points: Yes
Starting roster: 1 QB; 3 WR; 2 RB; 1 TE; 1 K; 1 DEF/ST
Bench: 6 players (any position)
Offensive statistics and scoring points
Every 25 passing yards: 1 point
Each passing TD: 4 points
Each interception thrown: -1 points
Every 10 rushing yards: 1 point
Each rushing TD: 6 points
Every 10 receiving yards: 1 point
Each receiving TD: 6 points
Each return TD: 6 points
Each Off Fum Ret TD: 6 points
Each 2-point conversion: 2 points
Each fumble lost: -2 points
Kicking statistics and scoring points
Field goal 0-19 yards: 3 points
Field goal 20-29 yards: 3 points
Field goal 30-39 yards: 3 points
Field goal 40-49 yards: 4 points
Field goal 50+ yards: 5 points
Each extra point: 1 point
Defensive statistics and scoring points
Each sack: 1 point
Each interception: 2 points
Each fumble recovery: 2 points
Each TD: 6 points
Each safety: 2 points
Each blocked kick: 2 points
Each blocked kick: 2 points
Kickoff and Punt Return Touchdowns: 6 points
Shutout: 10 points
1-6 points allowed: 7 points
7-13 points allowed: 4 points
14-20 points allowed: 1 point
21-27 points allowed: 0 points
28-34 points allowed: -1 points
35+ points allowed: -4 points
Playoffs: Week 15 & 16
(4 teams; 4 in consolation)
Fractional yardage points: Yes
Negative yardage points: Yes
Starting roster: 1 QB; 3 WR; 2 RB; 1 TE; 1 K; 1 DEF/ST
Bench: 6 players (any position)
Offensive statistics and scoring points
Every 25 passing yards: 1 point
Each passing TD: 4 points
Each interception thrown: -1 points
Every 10 rushing yards: 1 point
Each rushing TD: 6 points
Every 10 receiving yards: 1 point
Each receiving TD: 6 points
Each return TD: 6 points
Each Off Fum Ret TD: 6 points
Each 2-point conversion: 2 points
Each fumble lost: -2 points
Kicking statistics and scoring points
Field goal 0-19 yards: 3 points
Field goal 20-29 yards: 3 points
Field goal 30-39 yards: 3 points
Field goal 40-49 yards: 4 points
Field goal 50+ yards: 5 points
Each extra point: 1 point
Defensive statistics and scoring points
Each sack: 1 point
Each interception: 2 points
Each fumble recovery: 2 points
Each TD: 6 points
Each safety: 2 points
Each blocked kick: 2 points
Each blocked kick: 2 points
Kickoff and Punt Return Touchdowns: 6 points
Shutout: 10 points
1-6 points allowed: 7 points
7-13 points allowed: 4 points
14-20 points allowed: 1 point
21-27 points allowed: 0 points
28-34 points allowed: -1 points
35+ points allowed: -4 points
Monday, September 6, 2010
High/Low Week 35, 2010
The Get Motivated! seminar was a fun getaway that broke up a tough week at the office. Efforts to reconcile a bunch of figures with each other was hitting a brick wall. During the two days I was gone, Jennifer handled the action smoothly, and my refreshed mind helped to make some decisions to close out the week.
The mini-vacation was unfortunately a snack fest. Got back on track once we got home. But we'll have to keep a close eye on the scale the next week since it's topping out at record levels. Not a problem, as long as it's muscle mass...
After making such progress at work, this Labor Day weekend has seemed unusually long and relaxing. A couple evening walks with Dena. A healthy round of b-ball on Saturday and a successful trip to the weight room, a good comeback from some knee discomfort that had fired up a week earlier. Caught up on blogging even though my new computer remained in the shop, and the old computer suddenly refused to pull up the internet (thanks for sharing, D!). Then magically the internet came back to life Sunday night, letting me make some deep headway into some condominium association work. Cleared out a backlog of laundry. Spent three gorgeous days poolside reading about my newest interest... the philosophy of Warren Buffett, America's wildly successful investor, and inspiration for an earlier retirement. If there's one thing the Get Motivated! seminar generated, it's a spark that might lead us to purchase our first individual stocks.
Thanks to a rally, 4 of 5 fantasy baseball teams are in first place with a month to go. September is about the most exciting month of the baseball season, as a dozen or so teams scramble for the playoffs, and this fall looks to be no exception. College football launched Alabama toward its national title defense in convincing 45-point victorious fashion. Meanwhile, with the NFL season kicking off this week, I've stocked up on fantasy mags and am prepping for another run at it.
And now a short work week ahead, and the prospect of continued late summer weather.
The mini-vacation was unfortunately a snack fest. Got back on track once we got home. But we'll have to keep a close eye on the scale the next week since it's topping out at record levels. Not a problem, as long as it's muscle mass...
After making such progress at work, this Labor Day weekend has seemed unusually long and relaxing. A couple evening walks with Dena. A healthy round of b-ball on Saturday and a successful trip to the weight room, a good comeback from some knee discomfort that had fired up a week earlier. Caught up on blogging even though my new computer remained in the shop, and the old computer suddenly refused to pull up the internet (thanks for sharing, D!). Then magically the internet came back to life Sunday night, letting me make some deep headway into some condominium association work. Cleared out a backlog of laundry. Spent three gorgeous days poolside reading about my newest interest... the philosophy of Warren Buffett, America's wildly successful investor, and inspiration for an earlier retirement. If there's one thing the Get Motivated! seminar generated, it's a spark that might lead us to purchase our first individual stocks.
Thanks to a rally, 4 of 5 fantasy baseball teams are in first place with a month to go. September is about the most exciting month of the baseball season, as a dozen or so teams scramble for the playoffs, and this fall looks to be no exception. College football launched Alabama toward its national title defense in convincing 45-point victorious fashion. Meanwhile, with the NFL season kicking off this week, I've stocked up on fantasy mags and am prepping for another run at it.
And now a short work week ahead, and the prospect of continued late summer weather.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
End Run
"It doesn't matter where you start, it's where you end." - Colin Powell
I'm a mediocre basketball coach. If you don't believe it, come see me sometime. Clearly I'm new at this.
Before that, I was lousy at reading tax law. Couldn't play the guitar for more than 15 minutes thanks to tender fingers, and an inability to finish a song from start to finish without flubbing. Needed two hours to make a supervisory decision. My soccer kicks sailed high of the net. Strained my voice whenever I tried to hit higher notes, and ran out of breath too soon. Practically read a word-for-word script when public speaking. No clue as to whom to call for condo troubles. Rode the pines on the freshman high school "B" hoops team. Struggled to come up with one blog post per day.
Confidence and faith make the difference. Patience for experience makes the difference. Perseverance and humility make the difference.
Next season, I'll be a different coach. And the same will be true for the next adventure after that. Things will work out in the end.
I'm a mediocre basketball coach. If you don't believe it, come see me sometime. Clearly I'm new at this.
Before that, I was lousy at reading tax law. Couldn't play the guitar for more than 15 minutes thanks to tender fingers, and an inability to finish a song from start to finish without flubbing. Needed two hours to make a supervisory decision. My soccer kicks sailed high of the net. Strained my voice whenever I tried to hit higher notes, and ran out of breath too soon. Practically read a word-for-word script when public speaking. No clue as to whom to call for condo troubles. Rode the pines on the freshman high school "B" hoops team. Struggled to come up with one blog post per day.
Confidence and faith make the difference. Patience for experience makes the difference. Perseverance and humility make the difference.
Next season, I'll be a different coach. And the same will be true for the next adventure after that. Things will work out in the end.
Music To My Jeers
Laura Bush used the phrase "sacred music of democracy" to describe complaints and criticisms directed against leadership (or anyone, really).
While I remain convinced that there must be a more civil forum for the exchange of ideas/opinions than the majority of derisively sensationalist shows out there... Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'Reilly come readily to mind... it is a tremendous blessing to live so freely that government can be relentlessly verbally attacked as they wish. Open communication is vital for success. In turn, the people are free to censor what they will by changing the channel, it can't be forced upon them.
So thank goodness in that respect for the myriad composers of "nay," who remind me of the "yay" of American freedom.
While I remain convinced that there must be a more civil forum for the exchange of ideas/opinions than the majority of derisively sensationalist shows out there... Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'Reilly come readily to mind... it is a tremendous blessing to live so freely that government can be relentlessly verbally attacked as they wish. Open communication is vital for success. In turn, the people are free to censor what they will by changing the channel, it can't be forced upon them.
So thank goodness in that respect for the myriad composers of "nay," who remind me of the "yay" of American freedom.
If At First You Don't Succeed... Then You've Learned
"There is no failure, only feedback."
"If you're willing to fail, you'll succeed greatly."
"A way to success: fail fast."
- Anonymous
As sometimes happens, a friend of mine asked if I'd review a letter he'd drafted. The letter was in response to a dispute with a co-worker. In a phone call and a note, she had vehemently accused him of incompetence. The draft response was filled with sharp and frustrated retorts and, naturally, some defensiveness.
It rang familiar. Hidden Bloggers know that I've failed in these situations several times. How? By pressing the Send button instead of letting the venting safely and healthily evaporate via the Delete key! I've yet to see a situation resolved via e-debate, and once anger creeps in - forget it. Anger is a flare-up condition like acne or poison ivy. It doesn't reflect the true nature of the person, and it's temporary... unless scratched. Kindness is the salve against all but the most extreme cases. One day, I'll practice that preaching in all respects of life, not just at the keyboard. Meanwhile, the lessons continue...
"If you're willing to fail, you'll succeed greatly."
"A way to success: fail fast."
- Anonymous
As sometimes happens, a friend of mine asked if I'd review a letter he'd drafted. The letter was in response to a dispute with a co-worker. In a phone call and a note, she had vehemently accused him of incompetence. The draft response was filled with sharp and frustrated retorts and, naturally, some defensiveness.
It rang familiar. Hidden Bloggers know that I've failed in these situations several times. How? By pressing the Send button instead of letting the venting safely and healthily evaporate via the Delete key! I've yet to see a situation resolved via e-debate, and once anger creeps in - forget it. Anger is a flare-up condition like acne or poison ivy. It doesn't reflect the true nature of the person, and it's temporary... unless scratched. Kindness is the salve against all but the most extreme cases. One day, I'll practice that preaching in all respects of life, not just at the keyboard. Meanwhile, the lessons continue...
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Crimson Tide Household Upset By Plans For Final Arrangements
An Alabama fan asked his wife if she would plan to have his body buried or cremated after he eventually passes away.
"Actually, I think I'll just have you stuffed and set by the television," she replied. "That way, when I try to talk to you on game days it'll be like you never left."
"Actually, I think I'll just have you stuffed and set by the television," she replied. "That way, when I try to talk to you on game days it'll be like you never left."
Enemies Of Kiwanis, Unicef Launch Extermination Campaign
Accidental espionage revealed a plot against the venerable Kiwanis and Unicef institutions over the weekend.
A button was spied lying on the desk of a graphic designer carrying the phrase "ELIMINATE" above the logos for the two organizations.
"Clearly someone is targeting Kiwanis and Unicef, the way a cheetah stalks the weakest gazelle in the herd, or the Terminator was sent back in time by SkyNet to destroy John Connor," announced a spokesperson for Americans Against Volunteerism. "We support the action, especially if there are in fact killer robots involved."
"Kiwanis was founded in 1915, Unicef in 1946," shared a kind-eyed woman from the Philanthropy Euthanasia Association. "They've had a long, happy life. It's their time. They're ready to go."
No group has claimed responsibility for the operation. They could be anywhere, maybe even infiltrating the ranks quietly for years building up to an impending, universally coordinated moment of attack.
Scrambling to avert international panic and exodus from their membership rolls, the organizations hastily assembled a program and released a public service announcement suggesting instead a campaign against maternal and neonatal tetanus.
A button was spied lying on the desk of a graphic designer carrying the phrase "ELIMINATE" above the logos for the two organizations.
"Clearly someone is targeting Kiwanis and Unicef, the way a cheetah stalks the weakest gazelle in the herd, or the Terminator was sent back in time by SkyNet to destroy John Connor," announced a spokesperson for Americans Against Volunteerism. "We support the action, especially if there are in fact killer robots involved."
"Kiwanis was founded in 1915, Unicef in 1946," shared a kind-eyed woman from the Philanthropy Euthanasia Association. "They've had a long, happy life. It's their time. They're ready to go."
No group has claimed responsibility for the operation. They could be anywhere, maybe even infiltrating the ranks quietly for years building up to an impending, universally coordinated moment of attack.
Scrambling to avert international panic and exodus from their membership rolls, the organizations hastily assembled a program and released a public service announcement suggesting instead a campaign against maternal and neonatal tetanus.
Lamination Inspires Awe
News that laminating a piece of paper is "way easy" caused a stir within the condominium board community.
An association eager to post its most recently updated set of pool rules embarked on a mission to get laminated copies developed.
"It ought to be sturdy that way," explained the official in pointing out a chain-link fence to which the rules were attached. "Resistant to wind. And especially rain."
He had no idea how long it would take to get a few copies of the two-page document made and treated.
"The copies, yeah no problem," he said. "But lamination? What, maybe a 24-hour job after I place the order?"
Upon entering FedEx Office, he was stunned by the signage above the counter.
"There's this list of 'self-service' items. Like copying. And then it says lamination up there. I'm like, 'daaaamn!'"
However, the machine was not immediately evident, as he wandered about trying to look nonchalant and with a clue. After two circles around the floor, he made his way to the counter.
"The guy was so helpful. I'm sitting there thinking that we'll do each page separately. Then he's like, 'Would you like to put them together?' And I'm thinking, 'Whoa, good idea.'"
Turns out that the laminator was a compact little machine right smack in the middle of the room, almost hidden under some paper. Within sixty seconds, the clerk had demonstrated the process.
"You just slide the copy into the plastic, then the plastic into the protective cover, then the cover into the machine. Slides through, done! Thirty seconds tops. Even a fool couldn't mess it up."
Perspectives varied. "He forgot to turn off the machine," said the clerk.
Despite the $4 per page cost, the man indicated near-term plans to laminate the association's by-laws, tax returns, and water bill.
An association eager to post its most recently updated set of pool rules embarked on a mission to get laminated copies developed.
"It ought to be sturdy that way," explained the official in pointing out a chain-link fence to which the rules were attached. "Resistant to wind. And especially rain."
He had no idea how long it would take to get a few copies of the two-page document made and treated.
"The copies, yeah no problem," he said. "But lamination? What, maybe a 24-hour job after I place the order?"
Upon entering FedEx Office, he was stunned by the signage above the counter.
"There's this list of 'self-service' items. Like copying. And then it says lamination up there. I'm like, 'daaaamn!'"
However, the machine was not immediately evident, as he wandered about trying to look nonchalant and with a clue. After two circles around the floor, he made his way to the counter.
"The guy was so helpful. I'm sitting there thinking that we'll do each page separately. Then he's like, 'Would you like to put them together?' And I'm thinking, 'Whoa, good idea.'"
Turns out that the laminator was a compact little machine right smack in the middle of the room, almost hidden under some paper. Within sixty seconds, the clerk had demonstrated the process.
"You just slide the copy into the plastic, then the plastic into the protective cover, then the cover into the machine. Slides through, done! Thirty seconds tops. Even a fool couldn't mess it up."
Perspectives varied. "He forgot to turn off the machine," said the clerk.
Despite the $4 per page cost, the man indicated near-term plans to laminate the association's by-laws, tax returns, and water bill.
Famous Speech Plagiarized By Founding Father Descendant
An otherwise humdrum rural town council meeting was disrupted by a distant relative of an American patriot Wednesday evening.
The Knobby Point, Arkansas monthly meeting had just approved an omnibus ordinance to reduce from 20 to 15 the maximum number of cats permissible in a single-family household when interrupted by retired town water inspector Walter Henry.
Henry, the great-grandnephew of the illegitimate grandson of Patrick Henry, rose suddenly yet awkwardly to his feet while holding a cat aloft in one hand. Attempting to appear spontaneous while occasionally peering down at some writing on his fisted arm, he protested the unanimous resolution by reciting his ancestor's Revolutionary War speech widely credited with inspiring the fight for American independence from English rule.
"Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace-- but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
Before several seconds of shifting-eyed, stunned silence could be broken by one of the three councilmen, two other attendees, or janitor present, the cat screeched and clawed at Henry's arm until he dropped it with a painful yelp and chased its escape out the back door.
The Knobby Point, Arkansas monthly meeting had just approved an omnibus ordinance to reduce from 20 to 15 the maximum number of cats permissible in a single-family household when interrupted by retired town water inspector Walter Henry.
Henry, the great-grandnephew of the illegitimate grandson of Patrick Henry, rose suddenly yet awkwardly to his feet while holding a cat aloft in one hand. Attempting to appear spontaneous while occasionally peering down at some writing on his fisted arm, he protested the unanimous resolution by reciting his ancestor's Revolutionary War speech widely credited with inspiring the fight for American independence from English rule.
"Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace-- but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!"
Before several seconds of shifting-eyed, stunned silence could be broken by one of the three councilmen, two other attendees, or janitor present, the cat screeched and clawed at Henry's arm until he dropped it with a painful yelp and chased its escape out the back door.
10th Follower Just In Time For 2,000th Post
Hidden Blog celebrated its 2,000th post late Friday night, just after its enrollment of official followers reached ten.
"Hidden Blog was founded on the principle of becoming more Googlable than Country Joe McDonald," explained the founder. "In time, we adjusted our goal to become more realistic - briefly, to make the earth rotate in the opposite direction, and now, to be a source of fun and optimism. The explosive growth in followers validates its success."
The most recent subscriber, "Lola Takes Pictures," was not immediately located for interview.
Hidden Blog was founded on July 1, 2007, averaging 52 posts monthly since its inception.
"Hidden Blog was founded on the principle of becoming more Googlable than Country Joe McDonald," explained the founder. "In time, we adjusted our goal to become more realistic - briefly, to make the earth rotate in the opposite direction, and now, to be a source of fun and optimism. The explosive growth in followers validates its success."
The most recent subscriber, "Lola Takes Pictures," was not immediately located for interview.
Hidden Blog was founded on July 1, 2007, averaging 52 posts monthly since its inception.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Emotional Soap
"People say that motivation doesn't last. Neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily." - Zig Ziglar
Most every motivational habit that passes through my head, no matter how appealing or powerful, has faded away over time. Like dieting, some great ambitions like repeating a certain phrase every morning or saying a prayer at a certain time of day eventually seem to slide.
Someone asked me this week why I attended the Get Motivated! conference. "What is it you're supposed to be motivated FOR?" is the relevant question. Maybe it's a sign of weakness, but I just find that the habit of cleansing myself with positive thoughts in various creative and sometimes repetitive ways is essential for keeping away the plaque of despair, fear or anger that pollutes the idle mind. Yes, motivation is cheap - and so is brushing and flossing. It's best for me as a daily practice, as valuable to a productive mental state as water is to the physical.
Most every motivational habit that passes through my head, no matter how appealing or powerful, has faded away over time. Like dieting, some great ambitions like repeating a certain phrase every morning or saying a prayer at a certain time of day eventually seem to slide.
Someone asked me this week why I attended the Get Motivated! conference. "What is it you're supposed to be motivated FOR?" is the relevant question. Maybe it's a sign of weakness, but I just find that the habit of cleansing myself with positive thoughts in various creative and sometimes repetitive ways is essential for keeping away the plaque of despair, fear or anger that pollutes the idle mind. Yes, motivation is cheap - and so is brushing and flossing. It's best for me as a daily practice, as valuable to a productive mental state as water is to the physical.
Get Motivated! Seminar
Dena and I had been talking about our periodic out-of-town getaway, and it was intriguing when she pointed out the Get Motivated! seminar on tap at the Peoria Civic center last Tuesday.
You look at the itinerary and eyebrows raise. The speaker list included nationally recognized names. Colin Powell. Laura Bush. Terry Bradshaw. Rudy Giuliani. Zig Ziglar. The last two guys have been well-chronicled through their books via Hidden Blog.
The ticket cost was... $5. FIVE DOLLARS? Unless you bought the tickets at the door. Then it was over $200.
What is the catch here? I tried to figure out how they'd manage to surprise us with hidden costs, or somehow the speakers listed were not the real speakers. Couldn't solve the mystery, and in the end there was no catch. This was eight hours of these and other polished, entertaining speakers for a supremely reasonable price. Our seats were unassigned, meaning that we had our pick of seats in the upper bowl of the arena (and it did eventually fill to the rafters).
Surprises?
I didn't know that 83-year-old Zig had experienced a fall that severely damaged his short-term memory, causing an altered, interview format with his daughter. Her role was to trigger some of his more popular phrases, while gently guiding him back on track if he started repeating himself. Still, he was beyond entertaining and they showed several clips of highlights from past speeches of his.
Two different fellows, charming and witty speakers, came up at different time to talk investments. It provided another visual lesson to me of how easily people can be persuaded by the right presentation. Convinced that a $3,000 get-rich-quick web site and seminar series could be had for just $99, hundreds of people stormed tables to scoop up the opportunity.
Even though we pitched in over $200 in hotel rooms to cover our two night Peoria date (featuring also a movie night and Italian restaurant trip), the Get Motivated! investment was well worth its tiny investment. And Hidden Blog readers will benefit too from a palette's worth of inspirational snippets to come!
You look at the itinerary and eyebrows raise. The speaker list included nationally recognized names. Colin Powell. Laura Bush. Terry Bradshaw. Rudy Giuliani. Zig Ziglar. The last two guys have been well-chronicled through their books via Hidden Blog.
The ticket cost was... $5. FIVE DOLLARS? Unless you bought the tickets at the door. Then it was over $200.
What is the catch here? I tried to figure out how they'd manage to surprise us with hidden costs, or somehow the speakers listed were not the real speakers. Couldn't solve the mystery, and in the end there was no catch. This was eight hours of these and other polished, entertaining speakers for a supremely reasonable price. Our seats were unassigned, meaning that we had our pick of seats in the upper bowl of the arena (and it did eventually fill to the rafters).
Surprises?
I didn't know that 83-year-old Zig had experienced a fall that severely damaged his short-term memory, causing an altered, interview format with his daughter. Her role was to trigger some of his more popular phrases, while gently guiding him back on track if he started repeating himself. Still, he was beyond entertaining and they showed several clips of highlights from past speeches of his.
Two different fellows, charming and witty speakers, came up at different time to talk investments. It provided another visual lesson to me of how easily people can be persuaded by the right presentation. Convinced that a $3,000 get-rich-quick web site and seminar series could be had for just $99, hundreds of people stormed tables to scoop up the opportunity.
Even though we pitched in over $200 in hotel rooms to cover our two night Peoria date (featuring also a movie night and Italian restaurant trip), the Get Motivated! investment was well worth its tiny investment. And Hidden Blog readers will benefit too from a palette's worth of inspirational snippets to come!
Inception
When I saw the previews of Inception, it looked like a complex plot a la The Matrix which might require a bit too much thinking to appreciate. Then I started hearing glowing reviews, one person proclaiming it the best movie of the year. That made it worth at least a look.
Pretty good!
As far as I know this is an original idea rather than a reused version of an old Hollywood story. Space-age technology enables crafty criminal artists to enter the dreams of people en route to accessing their hidden thoughts. The story of Leonardo DiCaprio's character follows his singular goal to be reunited with his children, after a dream-related mishap leads to the death of his wife and casts him as a fugitive from justice.
Ellen Page plays a winning support role as a talented architect of dreams, who ultimately gets closer to DiCaprio's life mystery and plays a daring role in the climactic scene.
Eventually, DiCaprio's team dives several "levels" into the mind of a wealthy heir to a family business, who himself becomes a brave part of the action within his own dream. The task - DiCaprio's ticket to absolution - is to create "inception." That is, to implant a thought into the heir's mind while tricking him into thinking that it was his own idea.
The web is tangled. Eventually some of the team is hanging out at higher dream levels while others dive more deeply, and trying to keep straight their exit strategy takes some doing by the viewer. But the characters are likable, and the good guys all get their prizes at the end. Catch it if you can!
Pretty good!
As far as I know this is an original idea rather than a reused version of an old Hollywood story. Space-age technology enables crafty criminal artists to enter the dreams of people en route to accessing their hidden thoughts. The story of Leonardo DiCaprio's character follows his singular goal to be reunited with his children, after a dream-related mishap leads to the death of his wife and casts him as a fugitive from justice.
Ellen Page plays a winning support role as a talented architect of dreams, who ultimately gets closer to DiCaprio's life mystery and plays a daring role in the climactic scene.
Eventually, DiCaprio's team dives several "levels" into the mind of a wealthy heir to a family business, who himself becomes a brave part of the action within his own dream. The task - DiCaprio's ticket to absolution - is to create "inception." That is, to implant a thought into the heir's mind while tricking him into thinking that it was his own idea.
The web is tangled. Eventually some of the team is hanging out at higher dream levels while others dive more deeply, and trying to keep straight their exit strategy takes some doing by the viewer. But the characters are likable, and the good guys all get their prizes at the end. Catch it if you can!
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