Susan Heitler, founder of poweroftwomarriage.com which emphasizes communication skills, recommends feedback that "skips the complaining and goes straight to the explaining."
Instead of "That's not the way to saute. It will dry out the potatoes," try "Can I show you a tip my grandma taught me in sauteeing?"
Instead of "What have you been doing? You haven't picked up one thing. No one is coming over this weekend until this room is clean," try "I'd love to see your room cleaned up by this weekend so your friends can come over."
Studies showed that the single best indicator of a relapse into depression for married adults is the answer to the question "How critical is your spouse of you?" The examples above may not quite fit your personal style, but building the habit of replacing anger with love in our words may be just the right start.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
How To Get A More Honest Answer
Research has shown that when asking about, say, a used car, you'll get a more honest answer with a negative-assumption question:
"What problems have you had with this car?"
than a positive-assumption one:
"Has the car always run okay?"
In either case, since most people are naturally agreeable, they will follow the direction of your question.
"What problems have you had with this car?"
than a positive-assumption one:
"Has the car always run okay?"
In either case, since most people are naturally agreeable, they will follow the direction of your question.
A Good Reason To Get Carded
"Everything a person needs to be successful has already been written, but only 3 percent of Americans have a library card." - Jim Rohn
For those of us who weren't born geniuses, what faster way to move up the ladder of success than to acquire knowledge from millions of hours worth of life lessons that our predecessors have experienced, rather than taking the time to rediscover them ourselves?
For those of us who weren't born geniuses, what faster way to move up the ladder of success than to acquire knowledge from millions of hours worth of life lessons that our predecessors have experienced, rather than taking the time to rediscover them ourselves?
Passion + Skill = Success
"Most students are trying to buy a ticket into a world that is already set up. They are looking to fit themselves into an existing corporate structure. But the most successful businesspeople make the world work around them. When you find your passion - that merging of what you want to do with what you're good at - then success naturally emerges. It's what corporate strategists call 'sustainable long-term advantage.' It enables you not only to work harder and be better than your rival today but also to sustain that advantage throughout your whole career." - Keith Steiner, who started out answering phones in the MCI service center, and eventually bought the company
Friday, September 6, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Blind Faith
"I never doubted that it was all going to work out. It was a foregone conclusion that it was going to be OK." - Josh Miele
As a 4-year-old, Josh was the target of a horrific crime - a local juvenile delinquent tossed acid in his face for no reason other than to inflict pain. He lost his sight, and his face was grotesquely deformed.
Forty years later, he has a PhD in psychoacoustics from the University of California, Berkley. He helped develop software that enables visually impaired people to make use of graphic interfaces. He developed software for the Mars Observer for NASA.
You and I can see. What will the fruits of our abilities be? Much greater, if we hold Josh's attitude about success.
As a 4-year-old, Josh was the target of a horrific crime - a local juvenile delinquent tossed acid in his face for no reason other than to inflict pain. He lost his sight, and his face was grotesquely deformed.
Forty years later, he has a PhD in psychoacoustics from the University of California, Berkley. He helped develop software that enables visually impaired people to make use of graphic interfaces. He developed software for the Mars Observer for NASA.
You and I can see. What will the fruits of our abilities be? Much greater, if we hold Josh's attitude about success.
Toward The End Zone, Around The Comfort Zone
"Once you start thinking like you're the starter then you're in a comfort zone. And once you're in a comfort zone, you can't get better. And if you're not getting better, you're getting worse. There's no in-between." - Alfred Morris, All-Pro NFL running back
The world will keep changing around us. We can stand still. Or we can approach the new day with the ambition: How did I get a little smarter today? A little stronger? A little healthier? Inching ahead can be a great success compared with doing what you did yesterday.
The world will keep changing around us. We can stand still. Or we can approach the new day with the ambition: How did I get a little smarter today? A little stronger? A little healthier? Inching ahead can be a great success compared with doing what you did yesterday.
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