7 Worst Ways To Lose Weight

By Jeff Vrabel:

There are lots of ways to lose weight these days. You could clamp off part of your stomach, take up ultra-marathoning, or sample any number of chemical shakes, cocktails, medications, injections, pudding cups, synthetic meals or genetically modified livestock. You could also burn off more calories than you consume, but who has time for that noise when we live in the future?

Yes, we are an endlessly inventive and profoundly lazy species, one that—in defiance of hundreds of years of science and medical analysis—believes it’s possible to stand motionless on a vibrating plate and become Chris Hemsworth. You can’t blame the multi-billion-dollar weight-loss industry for trying, but you also can’t rewrite this one bit of gospel: “At the end of the day,” says Daniel Meng, owner of MUVFit Personal Training in Nashville (where jacked clients include Kenny Chesney), “there’s no substitute for hard work. Living healthy requires three components: nutrition, cardiovascular work and resistance training. If any one of those pieces isn’t there, you’re gonna have a very low ceiling on what you can accomplish.”

This year, in an effort to keep our ceiling at the proper altitude, we resolve to never try the following seven preposterously trendy weight-loss methods:

BOX JUMPSBox jumps involve—to use the official physiological term—jumping on a box. The adjective they’re most often associated with is “explosive.” But they put you at risk of all manner of injury, including a blown-out Achilles. If you must pretend you’re Super Mario, land as softly as you can. And when returning to earth, hop lightly or simply step down to limit the possibility of further damage.

VIBRATION PLATESExercise on a regular floor burns calories, so exercise on a moving surface should burn more of them, right? Sadly, research indicates that vibration plates are most effective in weight loss in conjunction with a good diet and training program. Related: Most things are effective in weight loss when paired with a good diet and training program. Playing Battleship is effective when paired with a good diet and training program.

GAS MASK TRAINING

First of all, this is a real thing. The idea seems to be to deprive yourself of oxygen, so your muscles have to work harder. People, please. Your lungs are not meant to be semi-suffocated, and your workout equipment should not come from the German military surplus store. If the normal course of your day does not require you to wear a gas mask, don’t go out of your way to wear a gas mask.

BAREFOOT RUNNINGYou’re not still doing this, are you? We read Born To Run, too, and we realize that thousands of years ago our hairy ancestors successfully ran barefoot to elude such predators as saber-toothed tigers. But after 2010, when so-called “fingers footwear” seemed poised to engulf the entire running shoe market, a study from Brigham Young University found that modern runners who transitioned too quickly into minimalist shoes had an increased risk of foot injuries, including stress fractures. Also, 100 percent of them looked like clowns. Even if barefoot running did help you lose weight, we still wouldn’t recommend sacrificing your dignity like that.

SIT-UPS/CRUNCHES

Despite what you learned in gym class (and yes, that clause applies to many things in adult life), sit-ups and crunches aren’t the best way to turn a beer gut to a six-pack. Go for planks or side planks instead—they’ll burn, crush, smash, pulverize, and otherwise rip your abs more effectively.

POINTLESS GLUTEN-FREENESSFor some people, consuming even a little gluten can cause dire consequences. You’re probably not one of them. Only about 1 percent of Americans have celiac disease, yet that hasn’t stopped Americans from spending an estimated $8.8 billion on gluten-free food in 2014. The Mayo Clinic estimates that 1.6 million Americans who are eating gluten-free diets don’t need to. If you’re one of those people and eating gluten-free makes you feel better, then good for you—but please stop saying you “can’t” eat the bread.

TOUGH MUDDERSBecause races are more fun when you might also contract dysentery from a culvert, competitors on these obstacle courses undertake such jungle warfare-style physical challenges as mud crawling, rope swinging, spear tossing, barbed-wire crossing and a bunch of stuff with fire. Some 1.5 million athletes have endured Tough Mudders over the past four years, but let’s be honest: These are events about which the CDC has said, “Participants also need to be encouraged to seek appropriate medical care for post-competition diarrhea, especially bloody diarrhea, and to inform medical personnel of their exposure.” We’ll pass, bro.

Tips For Vocal Health

Sick before opening night? Dried out vocal cords in the winter? Losing your voice from overexertion? Broadway professionals, including vocal experts, performers and more, share their secrets to remain in good voice.

Vocal health is crucial for a performer, especially in an eight-show week environment. Playbill.com speaks with go-to vocal coach Liz Caplan (read more about her in our Booking It! column) and performers who have faced the biggest sings on Broadway: Shoshana Bean (the first replacement for Idina Menzel's Elphaba in the blockbuster musical Wicked), Constantine Maroulis (a Tony Award nominee for Rock of Ages, a show that requires vocal pyrotechnics), Ramin Karimloo (a Tony nominee who currently stars as Jean Valjean, one of the biggest male roles in the musical theatre cannon, in the Broadway revival of Les Misérables) and Melissa Errico (a Tony nominee who underwent vocal surgery following her performance in the most recent Off-Broadway staging of Stephen Sondheim's Passion). They share their secrets and talk about how to maintain in good voice when under the weather.

Winter Blues

Liz Caplan: The winter months in NYC are challenging for the singer/actor. Keeping the neck and throat warm are of paramount importance. In Chinese medicine, the head (base of skull), neck and throat are referred to as wind points. If you are feeling vulnerable in any way (this includes both physically and emotionally), and you get a draft or chill on these areas, it's likely that the seasonal bug will get you.

I recommend to all my students to stick to drinking warm or hot beverages and cooked food. The lungs tend toward dampness during these months, so warm beverages and warm/hot food will help remove the clammy cold feeling.  

These next recommendations for the season come with a caveat:

Hot and spicy foods and condiments actually increase metabolism (heat) and clear all sorts of phlegm from lungs and mucus from sinuses from stagnation. However (big however), spicy foods tend to create acidity in the throat. We have to be careful as to when we take such foods in.

Turmeric, oregano, garlic and cinnamon help to get mucus and phlegm stagnation out. Wasabi is also excellent. Imagine how your body reacts when you eat wasabi. You tear up and generally get a runny nose. This is actually excellent--things are moving and moving out.

Excellent winter foods:

Apples
Brussels sprouts
Parsnips
Pears
Rutabagas
Cauliflower
Winter Squash (There are many varieties of winter squash — including butternut, acorn, delicata and spaghetti squash — and they are all excellent choices in the winter.)
Pumpkin
Sweet potatoes
Turnips
Pomegranates
Dates
Grapefruit
Tangerines

Dark leafy greens (such as kale, chard and collards; [they] thrive in the chill of winter when the rest of the produce section looks bleak. In fact, a frost can take away the bitterness of kale. These greens are particularly rich in vitamins A, C and K).

Melissa Errico: This winter I am not in a musical, but when the twins were eight months old and Victoria was three years old, I played Betty in White Christmas on Broadway and never missed a show! I made sure to get seven-eight hours of sleep a night, took vitamins D3 and B12, and I drank an Emergen-C vitamin drink almost every day and must have had a half gallon of water myself every single day.

The challenge was the days when we were invited to do early-morning television, like "Good Morning America," and had to wake up at 5 AM to be on the TV set before a two-show day or sometimes a nine-show holiday schedule. I was so appreciative of the opportunity (and loved my red dress!) that I just plowed through a few sleepy days. This winter, I have concerts almost every other week, so in a way it's differently challenging when you aren't on a structured schedule. I have time off and then have to rally again.  Like all actors, its hard to maintain discipline when there isn't a rehearsal, show or audition focusing our minds. We have to keep up good routines even when no one is needing us!

Hero Cat Saves Baby From Freezing To Death

Eat your heart out, Lassie!

Masha, a long-haired tabby cat, saved the life of a baby abandoned in the streets of Russia — after she climbed into the box he was discarded in and kept him warm, health officials said.

“The baby had only been outside for a few hours and thanks to Masha … he was not damaged by the experience,” a hospital spokesman told Central European News.

The whiskered hero even meowed to get the attention of a passerby.

“She is very placid and friendly, so when I heard her meowing, I thought that perhaps she had injured herself,” said Obninsk city resident Irina Lavrova. “Normally she would have come and said hello to me. You can imagine my shock when I saw her lying in a box next to a baby.”

Masha is a communal cat who is looked after by local residents. When she found the baby — who appeared to be in great shape — she immediately took to him as if he were her own, according to CEN.

“Clearly her mothering instincts had taken over and she wanted to protect the child,” Lavrova explained. “He was well-dressed with a little hat, and whoever left him here had even left a few nappies and some baby food.”

The baby was immediately rushed to a local hospital, where he was given a checkup and declared fit and healthy, officials said. Since the child was found, Masha has been hailed as a hero by local residents — and she’s been reaping the benefits.

“Everyone in the block is very proud of her,” Lavrova said. “We have all spoiled her rotten by giving her her favorite food.”

How To Give Your Best

"You can always do more. But if you do too much, they won't get your best." - Sean McComb, 2014 National Teacher of the Year

Staying out late or chasing details can distract from the real mission; in this case, focusing on interaction with the kids.

Listen To Learn

"From a very young age, my parents taught me the most important lesson of my whole life: Listen to everybody before you make up your own mind. When you listen, you learn. You absorb like a sponge. Your life becomes so much better than when you are just trying to be listened to all the time." - Steven Spielberg

Life Is Short!

"My parents and I were living in a refugee settlement in Vienna after we left the former Soviet Union. Everything was uncertain, scary, and pretty terrible. This didn't stop my dad from announcing one day that we were going to visit the opera house in Vienna. I thought playing tourists was ridiculous - we had no money, no citizenship and no home. 'We don't know if we'll ever be back here,' my dad said. 'Life is short. It's stupid to sit here and wallow in our troubles.'" - Nataly Kogan

How Are You Treating The World Today?

"No matter how the world is treating you, if you are caring, loving and kind in the way you treat the world, your journey will be easier." - Paul Williams