In follow-up to the previous post, a couple of quotes repeat the same philosophy.
"A lot of young directors love to hear themselves speak. The ones who aren't afraid to ask for help and say, hey, I've got a really strong point of view on this, but there are some things I don't know and I could really use your help. Those are the ones that you know are going to make it." -- Greg Foster, CEO, IMAX Theaters
Foster's observation speaks not only to the value of effectiveness over self-importance, but demonstrates the humility that great leaders possess and team members boundlessly appreciate.
"When you feel that you're making a contribution, that's when you get the shining eyes -- when we get up in the morning and we live that." -- Ben Zander, conductor
As important as it is to submit our ego below the goal of the group, as individuals the importance of effectiveness also demands that we find a group in which we are making a difference, and not just filling an empty seat.
I was part of two groups during the last two years. Both of these groups were charged with putting on regular, creative performances for an audience. In one group, I was regularly asked "what do you think?" and my contributions made a difference. In the other, this was not the case. Guess which group I still belong to?
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Disagree and Commit
Candy king William Wrigley once said, "When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary."
Elsewhere, I've read that "consensus is horrible." Perhaps that's too extreme, if we equate "consensus" with "unanimity." In fact, consensus is defined as "general agreement." That makes a little more sense, since we know that no two people are alike. In most circumstances, they are bound to disagree on some level. The key is to give everyone a chance to disagree respectfully. Some leaders cultivate this actively. "Disagree and commit" is one way to describe it. It can be as simple as asking "What do you think?" or, if no one seems to disagree with an opinion on the table, to ask someone to come up with an opposite position. This helps to flush out what might be wrong with the prevailing idea.
The natural challenge, of course, is that if enough of one's ideas don't come to fruition, then we may lose face. And that's where the Ben Franklin's principle comes into play, that righteousness is based on usefulness, and not rights. In other words, it's more important to get useful results (by getting everyone's creative and differing opinions onto the table and sorting out the best one) than to be "right" as an individual. Perhaps that's why brainstorming is such a healthy practice, as ideas become separated from people as the list grows on the board. The worth of the individual is subordinated to the goal of the team, so that "everyone wins."
Again, the key to "disagree and commit" is respect -- respecting that there are many different, valid ideas within the room, and once we leave the room, that we honor the one that was accepted rather than the one that makes us feel the most important.
Elsewhere, I've read that "consensus is horrible." Perhaps that's too extreme, if we equate "consensus" with "unanimity." In fact, consensus is defined as "general agreement." That makes a little more sense, since we know that no two people are alike. In most circumstances, they are bound to disagree on some level. The key is to give everyone a chance to disagree respectfully. Some leaders cultivate this actively. "Disagree and commit" is one way to describe it. It can be as simple as asking "What do you think?" or, if no one seems to disagree with an opinion on the table, to ask someone to come up with an opposite position. This helps to flush out what might be wrong with the prevailing idea.
The natural challenge, of course, is that if enough of one's ideas don't come to fruition, then we may lose face. And that's where the Ben Franklin's principle comes into play, that righteousness is based on usefulness, and not rights. In other words, it's more important to get useful results (by getting everyone's creative and differing opinions onto the table and sorting out the best one) than to be "right" as an individual. Perhaps that's why brainstorming is such a healthy practice, as ideas become separated from people as the list grows on the board. The worth of the individual is subordinated to the goal of the team, so that "everyone wins."
Again, the key to "disagree and commit" is respect -- respecting that there are many different, valid ideas within the room, and once we leave the room, that we honor the one that was accepted rather than the one that makes us feel the most important.
About Accountability
Accountability means "to stand and be counted."
Measuring, whether calories, pounds, or tasks completed, is time-consuming. But this feedback helps us improve. It helps us see the steps to our vision. By their nature, they don't focus on inspiration but perspiration.
Some of my goals are stated to the left. And on Halloween at work, we'll officially unveil our department's goals for 2008. Off we go!
Measuring, whether calories, pounds, or tasks completed, is time-consuming. But this feedback helps us improve. It helps us see the steps to our vision. By their nature, they don't focus on inspiration but perspiration.
Some of my goals are stated to the left. And on Halloween at work, we'll officially unveil our department's goals for 2008. Off we go!
Super Size Me!
Today I watched "Super Size Me," the documentary of a man who ate nothing but McDonald's meals for a month. During that time, his weight jumped from 185 pounds to 210, and his percent body fat from 11% to 18%. His cholesterol jumped 65 points, to 240.
Meanwhile, two co-workers of mine have dropped 20 or more pounds. The one who dropped over 40 pounds did it largely by swearing off soft drinks. The one who dropped 20 did it by reading labels. Muffins, peanuts, even soups can be loaded with fat!
As a side note, the amount of calories needed to sustain a 185 pound person was estimated at 2,500. That's roughly 13.5 calories per pound.
Meanwhile, two co-workers of mine have dropped 20 or more pounds. The one who dropped over 40 pounds did it largely by swearing off soft drinks. The one who dropped 20 did it by reading labels. Muffins, peanuts, even soups can be loaded with fat!
As a side note, the amount of calories needed to sustain a 185 pound person was estimated at 2,500. That's roughly 13.5 calories per pound.
Our Moon
President John Kennedy issued a goal of putting a man on the moon by the end of the 1960's. His declaration stirred the nation's competitive spirit. In this case, science became a metaphor for the triumph of democracy over communism.
It wasn't that we knew how to do it (we didn't), but that we believed we had to do it.
"Success is all about meaning first and method second."
Dena and I have decided to run 5k on December 1, even though neither of us has run regularly this year. Yesterday we mapped out a 5k path and just walked it. 5k time: 46 minutes. Our plan is to cover the distance 5 days a week for 6 weeks, lengthening our jog time each time. Who knows if we'll be as successful as America's space program? The fun is in the trying.
It wasn't that we knew how to do it (we didn't), but that we believed we had to do it.
"Success is all about meaning first and method second."
Dena and I have decided to run 5k on December 1, even though neither of us has run regularly this year. Yesterday we mapped out a 5k path and just walked it. 5k time: 46 minutes. Our plan is to cover the distance 5 days a week for 6 weeks, lengthening our jog time each time. Who knows if we'll be as successful as America's space program? The fun is in the trying.
Too Much Information
President Jimmy Carter was criticized in the media for his honest admission that he had "naughty" passing thoughts. His empathy was not judged appropriate to his role, nor did it advance his mission as president of the United States.
"It's incredibly unfair, perhaps. The reality is that some parts of yourself are better off left in the shadows if they are not useful and relevant in directly supporting of furthering your goals and establishing the integrity of your objectives."
"It's incredibly unfair, perhaps. The reality is that some parts of yourself are better off left in the shadows if they are not useful and relevant in directly supporting of furthering your goals and establishing the integrity of your objectives."
Saturday, October 20, 2007
The Accidental Billions
Ray Kroc's motivation was not to sell hamburgers. In fact, he was a so-so milkshake salesman who stumbled across the McDonald Brothers hamburger stand and thought, "My God, if they expand I can sell more milkshake machines." When the McDonalds refused to expand, Kroc bought them out. Today, of course, McDonald's restaurants have sold billions of hamburgers to a delighted public, and yes, a few milkshakes to boot!
So it is with many successful people -- a better idea often lies in wait, not far away from our current idea.
In college I took the lead on a Red Cross tradition, its fund raising men's basketball tournament. In the early planning sessions, the idea of a children's clinic in between games surfaced. Suddenly, someone asked "What if we just replaced the tournament with a children's clinic?" The result was a greater profit than ever before, with less work!
Open eyes and an open mind can be the difference between excellence and mediocrity, if we choose to employ them.
So it is with many successful people -- a better idea often lies in wait, not far away from our current idea.
In college I took the lead on a Red Cross tradition, its fund raising men's basketball tournament. In the early planning sessions, the idea of a children's clinic in between games surfaced. Suddenly, someone asked "What if we just replaced the tournament with a children's clinic?" The result was a greater profit than ever before, with less work!
Open eyes and an open mind can be the difference between excellence and mediocrity, if we choose to employ them.
Show Them You're a Pig
There's the old saying that in a breakfast of bacon and eggs, the chicken is merely involved in the cause, while the pig is truly committed.
"For anyone to give a damn about what you're recruiting them to do, people want to know the skin you have in the game. You've got to find your own way to express the passion and personal meaning you have invested in this goal or mission."
Our actions display our true beliefs. People do what people see.
"For anyone to give a damn about what you're recruiting them to do, people want to know the skin you have in the game. You've got to find your own way to express the passion and personal meaning you have invested in this goal or mission."
Our actions display our true beliefs. People do what people see.
Tuition Refund
When you've paid the tuition of failure, it's time to harvest the learning. Be greedy about wringing out every drop of useful content so you can do better next time. That emotionally charged word greed is delibarate -- it shifts the mindset from seeing a failure as a liability to something that might be a transforming asset.
Successful people view both success and failure as feedback.
One of my failures was enrolling in a seminary college for a brief time. The grades were fine, but the enthusiasm rapidly ran out of steam. Why? While my skills aligned well, my spiritual beliefs had changed significantly. As a result, the goal had degraded from doing good to merely feeling good.
In this case, I literally paid tuition of failure -- and learned that talents need the good soil of a passionate cause in order to flower!
Successful people view both success and failure as feedback.
One of my failures was enrolling in a seminary college for a brief time. The grades were fine, but the enthusiasm rapidly ran out of steam. Why? While my skills aligned well, my spiritual beliefs had changed significantly. As a result, the goal had degraded from doing good to merely feeling good.
In this case, I literally paid tuition of failure -- and learned that talents need the good soil of a passionate cause in order to flower!
Exercising Demons
A teenager who was bullied regularly, suffering from migraine headaches and depression. At last he decided to change his life, through daily exercise.
"I can't wait until it's over every day," he said. "But I'd be miserable if I didn't do it."
By the time Jack LaLanne said this, he was 92 years old and hadn't missed a workout in 70 years!
In addition, he weaned himself off sugar and meat. In time, his workout regiments affected millions of Americans.
"I can't wait until it's over every day," he said. "But I'd be miserable if I didn't do it."
By the time Jack LaLanne said this, he was 92 years old and hadn't missed a workout in 70 years!
In addition, he weaned himself off sugar and meat. In time, his workout regiments affected millions of Americans.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Holy Cow!
This is one of my favorite Saturday Night Live skits. Cub fans, reminisce!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK0y-9OVqUw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PK0y-9OVqUw
Remember to Fail!
"You've got to fail on the path to success." -- Marva Collins, school teacher, who grew up in poverty in Alabama and ended up being invited to serve as U.S. Secretary of Education (by the way, she decided instead to stick to her passion in the classroom)
Advice from the Biotech Entrepreneur
"I once got a fortune cookie that said, 'Whatever you are, be a good one.' And to me that's the only business advice I can give anybody. When you are good at one thing, doors open up in front of you." -- Ed Penhoet
Shortly my basketball coaching career will begin. We'll see if that's "one thing" that opens doors!
Shortly my basketball coaching career will begin. We'll see if that's "one thing" that opens doors!
Recipe for Success
Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice says that life takes "passion, determination, and skill." You can't skip any of those three and expect to enjoy success built to last. One of my favorite business books is Good to Great, which would add one more essential characteristic of great leadership: humility.
Political Failure = Personal Success
"Doing things despite, not because of, the political correctness of the path -- whether it's a small step in your life or a giant one in your career -- is the price of admission to almost every enduring life of lasting impact."
I know someone who used her passion to elevate to great heights a ministry to support local soldiers serving overseas. The process was not without difficulty, impeded by the usual inertia and resistance that comes with a radical idea. Ultimately the cause won out. What is the impact on her career as a result? I think the answer is, "Does it really matter?" She drips passion for the cause. She's averse to public speaking, yet she speaks regularly and powerfully in front of groups. She's ignited, not by doing what's popular, but by doing what's useful. And she's a success.
I suppose that the letter I recently wrote to a friend would be countercultural in some ways.
"I have faith in some things unseen, including God's existence. I'm an analytical person living in a world where human nature gives rise to exaggeration and bias in print. So, for better or worse, I've got some skepticism for the Bible's ancient sources and its occasional fantastic claims. For the most part I think that I learn Christian lessons through life experiences. My talks with God are richest when they're filled with thanks. And I'm thankful when I belong to a small group of good people, from whom I learn and grow into a better, more peaceful person.
My softball team has been a good small group for me. I love sports. Sports have been living parables. They've taught me about goals, focus, improvement, success, and failure. They've given opportunities for personal and team victory, including all the joy that comes from cheering, comforting, and getting to know each other. I'm a competitive, health-conscious, goal-oriented person, and sports are a perfect outlet.
My softball team has won more games that it's lost in recent years, and that's important to me. But it's also been vital to experience love in various forms -- open communication, selflessness, humility, and positive attitude. The captain gives everyone a chance to play before himself. He responds to every e-mail. He surveyed the entire team in trying to decide how to handle an over-sized roster, made a decision, and shared his explanation with the group. He's one of the better players, but spends his time heaping praise on everyone else. He's competitive, but even when we've lost by the slaughter rule, he has a good time and encourages us to the next week. And he enables prayer after each game -- win or lose -- in thanks to God for our time together.
That softball "ministry" is absent scriptural teaching, and full of scriptural lessons. I hope that it's regarded as a successful part of bringing people closer to God."
I know someone who used her passion to elevate to great heights a ministry to support local soldiers serving overseas. The process was not without difficulty, impeded by the usual inertia and resistance that comes with a radical idea. Ultimately the cause won out. What is the impact on her career as a result? I think the answer is, "Does it really matter?" She drips passion for the cause. She's averse to public speaking, yet she speaks regularly and powerfully in front of groups. She's ignited, not by doing what's popular, but by doing what's useful. And she's a success.
I suppose that the letter I recently wrote to a friend would be countercultural in some ways.
"I have faith in some things unseen, including God's existence. I'm an analytical person living in a world where human nature gives rise to exaggeration and bias in print. So, for better or worse, I've got some skepticism for the Bible's ancient sources and its occasional fantastic claims. For the most part I think that I learn Christian lessons through life experiences. My talks with God are richest when they're filled with thanks. And I'm thankful when I belong to a small group of good people, from whom I learn and grow into a better, more peaceful person.
My softball team has been a good small group for me. I love sports. Sports have been living parables. They've taught me about goals, focus, improvement, success, and failure. They've given opportunities for personal and team victory, including all the joy that comes from cheering, comforting, and getting to know each other. I'm a competitive, health-conscious, goal-oriented person, and sports are a perfect outlet.
My softball team has won more games that it's lost in recent years, and that's important to me. But it's also been vital to experience love in various forms -- open communication, selflessness, humility, and positive attitude. The captain gives everyone a chance to play before himself. He responds to every e-mail. He surveyed the entire team in trying to decide how to handle an over-sized roster, made a decision, and shared his explanation with the group. He's one of the better players, but spends his time heaping praise on everyone else. He's competitive, but even when we've lost by the slaughter rule, he has a good time and encourages us to the next week. And he enables prayer after each game -- win or lose -- in thanks to God for our time together.
That softball "ministry" is absent scriptural teaching, and full of scriptural lessons. I hope that it's regarded as a successful part of bringing people closer to God."
Steve Jobs on Work
"The only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do." -- Steve Jobs, CEO, Apple
Monday, October 15, 2007
Joe's Niece, Bunch of Other Girls Win Basketball Game
NORMAL, IL -- The Eureka Hornets' 8th grade girls basketball team buzzed into town and swarmed the Parkside Pythons 29-19, impressing a reporter who knew, like, one of the players, maybe a couple fans, and that was pretty much it.
The python - hornet comparison wasn't far off at first glance, with several Parkside players towering over the smaller Hornets. But Eureka came out in a 2-3 zone defense that overmatched them all night long.
Perhaps exhausted from pre-game warmups, each team mistakenly attempted to win the game by missing the most layups in the first quarter. Coach With Facial Hair looked displeased. Still, his team's 4 point quarter was still enough to top the Pythons' 2.
Parkside's #40 with the knee-high orange socks was clearly their star player, but Blonde Lady coach continued to take her out of the game for some weird reason. This was a bad idea. #23, while speedy enough, at one point threw three straight passes that Shelby intercepted to start fast breaks. Another time, she threw a pass to an imaginary teammate on the left wing, um, OK then.
In the 2nd quarter the Hornets (who must've had 20 steals) continued to swipe passes from the home team, and the shots started falling. No doubt the most spectacular play was when Kelsey Young, who's my niece, took a long pass and hit a beautiful 5 foot shot in traffic. Sweet! At the halftime buzzer the Hornets had built a commanding 14-6 lead.
The lead grew in the second half. Kalla, who pretty much ran around and between everyone on the court whenever she felt like it, had steals and scores on consecutive plays early on. Eventually Orange Socks tried to guard her and even to press her full court, but there was no way.
Blondie again put #23 in for #40 in the second half, and twice down the court she heaved the ball at the basket before her team could even set up on offense. What's up with THAT, girl?
Enormous Ref Who Could Palm the Ball With One Hand seemed to be calling too many fouls in this reporter's humble opinion. No way should Other Kelsey have gotten four fouls and Shelby fouled out. I mean, Orange Socks, and Tall Girl Who Cracked Her Head Against The Wall That One Time were busting it inside all night long, call it both ways, ref! Geez.
Lexi got a lot of playing time and was active in grabbing rebounds down the stretch. And the crowd went crazy (or should have, if they were paying ATTENTION, people), when Kelsey Young drilled another shot from the floor, not to mention when she hit the front end of a one-and-one late in the game.
By the time Bunch of Other Girls took the floor in the final minute, the Hornets had sealed another win, exiting to the deafening cheers of the standing-room-only-unless-you-want-to-sit-or-lie-down-or-even-walk-around-a-little crowd of about 51 people.
After the game, Facial Hair refused to be interviewed (either that, or he didn't know I was there). "We got a win on the road against a tall, athletic, tough team, and that's what we came for," he probably would have said, adding "My only regret is not playing Kelsey Young the entire game and calling more set plays for her on offense. She is the greatest player I've ever coached, maybe the best player anyone's ever coached. I can die a happy man."
The python - hornet comparison wasn't far off at first glance, with several Parkside players towering over the smaller Hornets. But Eureka came out in a 2-3 zone defense that overmatched them all night long.
Perhaps exhausted from pre-game warmups, each team mistakenly attempted to win the game by missing the most layups in the first quarter. Coach With Facial Hair looked displeased. Still, his team's 4 point quarter was still enough to top the Pythons' 2.
Parkside's #40 with the knee-high orange socks was clearly their star player, but Blonde Lady coach continued to take her out of the game for some weird reason. This was a bad idea. #23, while speedy enough, at one point threw three straight passes that Shelby intercepted to start fast breaks. Another time, she threw a pass to an imaginary teammate on the left wing, um, OK then.
In the 2nd quarter the Hornets (who must've had 20 steals) continued to swipe passes from the home team, and the shots started falling. No doubt the most spectacular play was when Kelsey Young, who's my niece, took a long pass and hit a beautiful 5 foot shot in traffic. Sweet! At the halftime buzzer the Hornets had built a commanding 14-6 lead.
The lead grew in the second half. Kalla, who pretty much ran around and between everyone on the court whenever she felt like it, had steals and scores on consecutive plays early on. Eventually Orange Socks tried to guard her and even to press her full court, but there was no way.
Blondie again put #23 in for #40 in the second half, and twice down the court she heaved the ball at the basket before her team could even set up on offense. What's up with THAT, girl?
Enormous Ref Who Could Palm the Ball With One Hand seemed to be calling too many fouls in this reporter's humble opinion. No way should Other Kelsey have gotten four fouls and Shelby fouled out. I mean, Orange Socks, and Tall Girl Who Cracked Her Head Against The Wall That One Time were busting it inside all night long, call it both ways, ref! Geez.
Lexi got a lot of playing time and was active in grabbing rebounds down the stretch. And the crowd went crazy (or should have, if they were paying ATTENTION, people), when Kelsey Young drilled another shot from the floor, not to mention when she hit the front end of a one-and-one late in the game.
By the time Bunch of Other Girls took the floor in the final minute, the Hornets had sealed another win, exiting to the deafening cheers of the standing-room-only-unless-you-want-to-sit-or-lie-down-or-even-walk-around-a-little crowd of about 51 people.
After the game, Facial Hair refused to be interviewed (either that, or he didn't know I was there). "We got a win on the road against a tall, athletic, tough team, and that's what we came for," he probably would have said, adding "My only regret is not playing Kelsey Young the entire game and calling more set plays for her on offense. She is the greatest player I've ever coached, maybe the best player anyone's ever coached. I can die a happy man."
Friday, October 12, 2007
"O" No
"You can't wait for a standing ovation to validate what matters to you." -- Success Built to Last
That's Not Funny
"You're better off when you remember to be grateful -- when you never forget where you came from and what little you used to have." -- Groucho Marx
When Not to Meet Expectations
"A leader is someone who gives the culture what it needs, not what it expects." -- Rachel Remen, cofounder, Commonweal Cancer Help Program
How to Pick the Winning Team
"It's the best five players, not the five best players, that win the basketball game." -- Richard Kovacevich, CEO, Wells Fargo
Mission Control
"To find your mission in life is to discover the intersection between your heart's deep gladness and the world's deep hunger." -- Frederick Beekner
Lead By Smiling
"The leader has to be optimistic simply because if he isn't, nobody else will be." -- Rudy Giuliani
Money's Overrated
"The job of leadership today is not just to make money, it's to make meaning." -- John Seely Brown, researcher at Xerox Park.
What, You Worry?
"Most of us worry more about being loved, than being what we love." -- Success Built to Last
"It doesn't matter if people care for me, it only matters that I care for them." -- Joe McDonald
"It doesn't matter if people care for me, it only matters that I care for them." -- Joe McDonald
You Might Not Be A Redneck, But...
...if you create something that continually seduces you into obsessing over every detail, losing track of the passage of time...
...if you would be willing to do it for free...
...if you're attracted to it even when you're too tired to do anything else...
then you might be a success!
...if you would be willing to do it for free...
...if you're attracted to it even when you're too tired to do anything else...
then you might be a success!
Monday, October 8, 2007
Everything That Can Go Wrong Listed
From the Onion:
FULLERTON, CA—A worldwide consortium of scientists, mathematicians, and philosophers is nearing the completion of the ambitious, decade-long project of cataloging everything that can go wrong, project leader Dr. Thomas R. Kress announced at a press conference Tuesday.
"We are mere weeks from finishing one of the most thorough and provocative scientific surveys of our time," Kress said. "The catalog of every possible unfortunate scenario will complete the work of the ancient Phoenicians and the early Christian theologians. Soon, every hazardous possibility will be known to man."
"And listed," Kress added.
Kress, a professor emeritus of mathematics and statistics at California State University and the author of several works on probability, would not say how many scenarios of error, peril, and misfortune exist. However, the list is widely believed to include hundreds of trillions of potential scenarios, from "cement truck with soft brakes cutting swath of destruction across quiet suburban subdivision" to "snagging shirt cuff on door latch."
"You know that thing when you don't invite an annoying friend to your party, and then, on the night of the party, an acquaintance from work brings that friend as a date?" said Project Awry researcher Hideko Manabe of Kyoto University. "That's on the list."
Manabe added: "I believe it's right after 'neglecting the maintenance of reactor cooling system, leading to core meltdown.'"
The November 2003 issue of Scientific American included an excerpt from the inventory, which read in part, "Knocking a cup of coffee off a counter with a light jerk of the wrist; breaking a tooth while comically pretending to bite down on the Great Pyramid of Giza; lowering lifeboats into the water when they are only filled to half capacity; tripping on cable and falling to floor with broken ankle while angrily storming off set of 24; building shanty on hillside instead of floodplain in anticipation of monsoon season, then getting buried in erosion-triggered mudslide anyway."
So numerous are the conceivable disastrous scenarios that processing them requires two gymnasium-sized supercomputers, one at the University of Pittsburgh and the other at Moscow State University. According to Kress, the supercomputers process and cross-reference all of these potential "wrongs" 24 hours a day, at a rate of 6 trillion calculations per second.
During a recent tour of the facilities at the University of Pittsburgh, the scenarios were projected onto a large screen as they were processed.
"Accidentally breaking off hand of Infant Of Prague statuette while gently trying to clean it with cotton swab and soapy water," the projection screen read. "Briefs get wedged in area between bureau drawers and base unit, making it difficult to dislodge them; sleeping with neck twisted awkwardly, resulting in headache; absent-mindedly discarding bus ticket with tissue; placing fingers too close to prongs while plugging in night-light, resulting in mild electrical shock."
Once the list is completed, the long task of codifying and categorizing everything that can go wrong will be undertaken. While some have questioned the list's utility, Popular Science writer Brian Dyce said it could have widespread applications.
"Within a decade, laypeople might be able to log onto the Internet or go to their public library and consult volumes listing the myriad things that could go wrong," Dyce said. "It could prove a very valuable research tool or preventative stopgap. For example, if you're shopping for a car, you can prepare yourself by boning up on the 98,627 bad things that could happen during the purchasing process. This project could have deep repercussions on the way people make decisions, and also the amount of time they spend locked in their bedrooms."
FULLERTON, CA—A worldwide consortium of scientists, mathematicians, and philosophers is nearing the completion of the ambitious, decade-long project of cataloging everything that can go wrong, project leader Dr. Thomas R. Kress announced at a press conference Tuesday.
"We are mere weeks from finishing one of the most thorough and provocative scientific surveys of our time," Kress said. "The catalog of every possible unfortunate scenario will complete the work of the ancient Phoenicians and the early Christian theologians. Soon, every hazardous possibility will be known to man."
"And listed," Kress added.
Kress, a professor emeritus of mathematics and statistics at California State University and the author of several works on probability, would not say how many scenarios of error, peril, and misfortune exist. However, the list is widely believed to include hundreds of trillions of potential scenarios, from "cement truck with soft brakes cutting swath of destruction across quiet suburban subdivision" to "snagging shirt cuff on door latch."
"You know that thing when you don't invite an annoying friend to your party, and then, on the night of the party, an acquaintance from work brings that friend as a date?" said Project Awry researcher Hideko Manabe of Kyoto University. "That's on the list."
Manabe added: "I believe it's right after 'neglecting the maintenance of reactor cooling system, leading to core meltdown.'"
The November 2003 issue of Scientific American included an excerpt from the inventory, which read in part, "Knocking a cup of coffee off a counter with a light jerk of the wrist; breaking a tooth while comically pretending to bite down on the Great Pyramid of Giza; lowering lifeboats into the water when they are only filled to half capacity; tripping on cable and falling to floor with broken ankle while angrily storming off set of 24; building shanty on hillside instead of floodplain in anticipation of monsoon season, then getting buried in erosion-triggered mudslide anyway."
So numerous are the conceivable disastrous scenarios that processing them requires two gymnasium-sized supercomputers, one at the University of Pittsburgh and the other at Moscow State University. According to Kress, the supercomputers process and cross-reference all of these potential "wrongs" 24 hours a day, at a rate of 6 trillion calculations per second.
During a recent tour of the facilities at the University of Pittsburgh, the scenarios were projected onto a large screen as they were processed.
"Accidentally breaking off hand of Infant Of Prague statuette while gently trying to clean it with cotton swab and soapy water," the projection screen read. "Briefs get wedged in area between bureau drawers and base unit, making it difficult to dislodge them; sleeping with neck twisted awkwardly, resulting in headache; absent-mindedly discarding bus ticket with tissue; placing fingers too close to prongs while plugging in night-light, resulting in mild electrical shock."
Once the list is completed, the long task of codifying and categorizing everything that can go wrong will be undertaken. While some have questioned the list's utility, Popular Science writer Brian Dyce said it could have widespread applications.
"Within a decade, laypeople might be able to log onto the Internet or go to their public library and consult volumes listing the myriad things that could go wrong," Dyce said. "It could prove a very valuable research tool or preventative stopgap. For example, if you're shopping for a car, you can prepare yourself by boning up on the 98,627 bad things that could happen during the purchasing process. This project could have deep repercussions on the way people make decisions, and also the amount of time they spend locked in their bedrooms."
Colts to Play Football's Harlem Globetrotters
From the Onion:
INDIANAPOLIS—The Indianapolis Colts, after building a perfect 12-0 record so far this season and expecting perhaps only the Seattle Seahawks to pose a major challenge before the playoffs, were shocked and outraged by Tuesday's announcement from NFL head offices that their opponent this Sunday would not be the Jacksonville Jaguars, but the NFL's most explosive and unpredictable franchise: pro football's Harlem Globetrotters.
Running back Walter “Snazzy Wiggles” Malone and the Globetrotters football team humiliate their traditional weekly opponents, the New York Jets, for the 449th straight time.
"This is insane," head coach Tony Dungy told reporters at a press conference. "We are within striking distance of becoming the first non-Globetrotter football team to complete an undefeated season, and the NFL pulls this stunt. I intend to appeal this scheduling change before those barnstorming clowns have a chance to make my team look like a bunch of idiots on national television."
Since entering the NFL in the 1976 expansion, the Globetrotter football team has posted a 449-0-1 record, which analysts agree is due in part to their freewheeling, rule-bending, and vastly entertaining style of play, and also in part to their facing the same traditional and hapless opponent, the New York Jets, almost every Sunday. The showdown with the Colts, who will play host in the RCA Dome this Sunday at 1 p.m., will mark the first time since 1998 that the Globetrotters have traveled out of the New York area, a trip the players are looking forward to.
"I can't wait to square off against the MVP, Mister QB, that Sean Salisbury-lookin' tater head… What's his name? Oh, yeah—Peyton Manning," said Curtis "King Licketysplit" Williams, the Globetrotter quarterback and the NFL's all-time leader in behind-the-back passing yards, passing touchdowns, funky breakdowns, and smoothness from scrimmage. "Our anticipation of the situation is pure contemplation of domination, baby. We're going to win that game, and when we do it, it won't be anything like boring. The Colts are good, the Colts can score, but they ain't seen nothing like us before."
Although the Colts boast a powerful offense, with Manning coordinating Pro Bowlers Edgerrin James at running back and Marvin Harrison at wideout and receivers Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark, and Bryan Fletcher continuing to emerge, defense is somewhat less of a strong point for Indianapolis.
"I really don't think the Colts can contain a Globetrotter attack led by King Licketysplit, especially when he's throwing to speedster Chester 'Five-Borough' Jenkins, unpredictable catch-master Terry 'Twinkletoes' Holmes, and utility tight end The Honorable-Awfulable Samson," said ESPN football analyst John Clayton. "And let's not forget that all-world running back Walter 'Snazzy Wiggles' Malone is the current leader in yards per strut, and has run for a thousand yards on a single carry four times this season, scoring twice. I'm seeing another blowout in the making."
Williams agreed with Clayton's assessment. "I have been watching me some game film in between looking sexy," Williams said. "And I noticed a weakness in their defense. That Dwight Freeney? Big, fast, powerful defensive end? Well—he is also a jive turkey."
"Jive… Ass… Turkey," added Williams.
The Globetrotters' defense is, likewise, not the team's main strength, but Indianapolis coaches insisted that they would not underestimate the Harlem scheme.
"It's true they tend to let their opponent hang in there, scoring just enough to make the game interesting," said Colts defensive coordinator Ron Meeks. "They usually win in the fourth quarter, and although they win by an average of 23 points, it's almost always a one-score game with 10 minutes to go. If we can contain their tricky Human Cannonball Blitz, penetrate their ingenious Linebacker Pyramid run defense, and interrupt their insidious pattern of combined referee depantsing and flagrant pass interference, we know we can play them close."
"Man, Ron Meeks is preaching to the choir and holdin' his hymnal upside-down," said Globetrotter head coach Booby "The Love Enormous" Woods. "We got the strongest front four in the solar system. I don't expect Davy Gravy, Chuckie 'Dump Dump' Dempsey, Wilbert 'Chocolate Supernova' Willis, John Stapleton III, and Anthony 'Human Ditch' Reynolds to let that No. 32 [James] get more than a couple yards before they smack the confetti right out of his bucket. If they go to the pass, Injurious Jameson and Billy 'Ham Shank' Williams try and activate Peyton's dental plan while Sweet Carob Washington and Godfrey 'Godfather Trilogy' Whittaker cover their receivers. They usually cover them with flour sacks, silly string, banana cream pies, spray cheese, soap suds, all kinds of embarrassing nonsense. We're going to give them their 'props,' all right."
For their part, the Indianapolis players are not backing down from the sudden and unexpected challenge, asking only that NFL officials, often accused of blatantly favoring the Globetrotters, give them a fair and even game.
"Harlem has a good team," said Manning, who refused to respond to the Globetrotters' taunts and was unable to think of any of his own. "For instance, I respect their ability to spin the football on their fingers instead of carrying it in the traditional way. But it's unfair for the refs to allow, for instance, their receivers to score an extra point by jumping through the uprights after a touchdown reception. Linebackers should not be allowed to trampoline, parachute, or bungee-jump into the backfield. Trained monkeys, unicycling go-go girls, and Earth, Wind, And Fire have no place on a football field, let alone being a pivotal part of a team's game plan. And I know I'll get fined for saying this, but if a referee's hat is pulled down over his eyes, it should not take him 90 seconds to pull it back up again."
"I mean, at least fine them for celebrating," Manning added. "Frankly, it's unbelievable what people let the Globetrotters get away with."
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Success Built to Last
My most recent reading adventure is the book Success Built to Last by Porras, Emery, and Thompson. The best-selling book, like a personal favorite of mine Good to Great, is grounded in research of thousands of pieces of data through conversation and reading. Who better to teach us about success than people who have succeeded?
Concludes one: "The real definition of success is a life and work that brings personal fulfillment and lasting relationships and makes a difference in the world in which they live."
Concludes one: "The real definition of success is a life and work that brings personal fulfillment and lasting relationships and makes a difference in the world in which they live."
Trust, But Verify
An old saying goes: To rise, be a man of your word. Sayings like this come to be because they counteract human nature. Ronald Reagan said "Trust, but verify." Though it's an uncomfortable thing to do, it is in the end what the people we serve are counting on us to do.
Some Depressed Dudes
Feeling depressed? Need company?
Try this guy:
"We shall go to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender..."
Winston Churchill, leading England through the trials of World War II, suffered from clinical depression. Abraham Lincoln, president over the Civil War, suffered similarly throughout his life.
Depression is a natural, but temporary, state that with patience and trust in God, we overcome.
Try this guy:
"We shall go to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender..."
Winston Churchill, leading England through the trials of World War II, suffered from clinical depression. Abraham Lincoln, president over the Civil War, suffered similarly throughout his life.
Depression is a natural, but temporary, state that with patience and trust in God, we overcome.
Study, Buddy
"Anybody who's going to take on [the leadership of] a large organization must put time aside for deep study." -- Giuliani
Is our confidence in a leader more, or less, who genuinely knows the subject matter he's talking about? Who understands what it is we do, how we do it, and why we do it that way?
Is our confidence in a leader more, or less, who genuinely knows the subject matter he's talking about? Who understands what it is we do, how we do it, and why we do it that way?
Connect With People First
While being prepped for a political debate, Giuliani rehearsed his answer to the question: "Do you have an educational plan?" He replied "Yes, I do. One, reform the board, two, do this, three, do that, four, do this..."
It's at the same time a great plan and an inferior response. A better answer: "I care greatly about children. I have my own. And I realize that the future of our city is built around children. So the core of my concern will be to make the educational system around the children."
The second answer is not only the truth, but more memorable. More importantly, it understands that our core questions aren't about facts, but people.
As a leader, we succeed when we connect with people first.
It's at the same time a great plan and an inferior response. A better answer: "I care greatly about children. I have my own. And I realize that the future of our city is built around children. So the core of my concern will be to make the educational system around the children."
The second answer is not only the truth, but more memorable. More importantly, it understands that our core questions aren't about facts, but people.
As a leader, we succeed when we connect with people first.
Overabundant Input, Minus the "Over"
"...a leader who fails to act until every group has been heard from, every concern addressed, every lawsuit resolved, is a leader who's abdicating his responsibility." -- Giuliani
The fact is, abundant input is important! As leaders we seek teamwork, and know that two heads are better than one. Input is to be treated like gold. First, it's to be pursued passionately. Second, once gained, it's the least we can to do say "thank you," the most is to actually use it, and the middle ground is to explain in person why it was respectable and ultimately not used.
Marching-order, closed-door leadership works successfully, albeit manipulatively, in the short run while crippling teamwork in the end. Rudy notes that we're to be on guard against the opposite extreme too -- entangling ourselves in a web of "consensus-building." Put a time limit on the process -- but have a process, and communicate thoroughly.
The fact is, abundant input is important! As leaders we seek teamwork, and know that two heads are better than one. Input is to be treated like gold. First, it's to be pursued passionately. Second, once gained, it's the least we can to do say "thank you," the most is to actually use it, and the middle ground is to explain in person why it was respectable and ultimately not used.
Marching-order, closed-door leadership works successfully, albeit manipulatively, in the short run while crippling teamwork in the end. Rudy notes that we're to be on guard against the opposite extreme too -- entangling ourselves in a web of "consensus-building." Put a time limit on the process -- but have a process, and communicate thoroughly.
Private Practice
"Just as a poker player tries to distuise his hand until he's called, often it's to a leader's benefit not to let others know what he's up to until the last possible moment." -- Giuliani
Huh? Why would a good leader be less than forthcoming with his team?
Rudy may have stated it differently, given the story he used to illustrate. The real lesson is to examine our visions with care when they first pop into our heads, and to announce plans in a way that's well-calculated, rather than brash. When a police chief sees the amount of murders down from 650 towards 610 (projected) during the first three months of the year, what are the drawbacks of announcing 600 as a goal at that point?
1. It's early and unsubstantiated.
2. It diminishes a significant and perfectly satisfactory accomplishment -- crime is decreasing!
Rightfully, Americans celebrate the memory of Kennedy's successful and uncharted dream of reaching the moon by the end of the 1960's. Still, it's just as American to achieve progress in any measure. Further, it's American to deliver on our promises. When temptation comes knocking to leap over tall buildings, we can privately check our emotions long enough to consider alternative ideas. Why not take a leisurely stroll around it instead? It's quicker, more relaxing, and much easier to convince people to follow you!
Huh? Why would a good leader be less than forthcoming with his team?
Rudy may have stated it differently, given the story he used to illustrate. The real lesson is to examine our visions with care when they first pop into our heads, and to announce plans in a way that's well-calculated, rather than brash. When a police chief sees the amount of murders down from 650 towards 610 (projected) during the first three months of the year, what are the drawbacks of announcing 600 as a goal at that point?
1. It's early and unsubstantiated.
2. It diminishes a significant and perfectly satisfactory accomplishment -- crime is decreasing!
Rightfully, Americans celebrate the memory of Kennedy's successful and uncharted dream of reaching the moon by the end of the 1960's. Still, it's just as American to achieve progress in any measure. Further, it's American to deliver on our promises. When temptation comes knocking to leap over tall buildings, we can privately check our emotions long enough to consider alternative ideas. Why not take a leisurely stroll around it instead? It's quicker, more relaxing, and much easier to convince people to follow you!
Promise Reality... Or A Shade Less
"A leader must manage not only results but expectations." -- Giuliani
My department at work has a file room that contains about two dozen cabinets stuffed with 20 years of memos and financial workpapers. As a small group of us planned for 2008, we wondered about becoming a more paperless office.
We considered setting a 2008 goal of "1 less file cabinet by year-end." The natural initial reaction was "well, we'd like to go down a lot more than that if possible!" That was certainly true, and in an era of "big, hairy audacious goals" such targets are often inflated -- and just as often missed. This is because, for one thing, twelve months seems like a long time -- until one actually starts living it, the phone starts ringing, unexpected projects materialize, and we find ourselves on December 15 staring at an unfulfilled dream on a piece of paper. Secondly, planning can go overboard with faith in pathless destinations. Starting with a "small" goal got us to asking how we might go about reducing that number. Before long, we actually did raise the goal -- to 4 cabinets -- after just a half hour of creative thinking. Who knows how much further we'll actually go?
It's easy to feel underachieving when aiming toward "reality" rather than a higher plane. But fortunately that pales in comparison to the satisfaction of meeting those goals, and the inspiration that comes from the potential to exceed those goals.
My department at work has a file room that contains about two dozen cabinets stuffed with 20 years of memos and financial workpapers. As a small group of us planned for 2008, we wondered about becoming a more paperless office.
We considered setting a 2008 goal of "1 less file cabinet by year-end." The natural initial reaction was "well, we'd like to go down a lot more than that if possible!" That was certainly true, and in an era of "big, hairy audacious goals" such targets are often inflated -- and just as often missed. This is because, for one thing, twelve months seems like a long time -- until one actually starts living it, the phone starts ringing, unexpected projects materialize, and we find ourselves on December 15 staring at an unfulfilled dream on a piece of paper. Secondly, planning can go overboard with faith in pathless destinations. Starting with a "small" goal got us to asking how we might go about reducing that number. Before long, we actually did raise the goal -- to 4 cabinets -- after just a half hour of creative thinking. Who knows how much further we'll actually go?
It's easy to feel underachieving when aiming toward "reality" rather than a higher plane. But fortunately that pales in comparison to the satisfaction of meeting those goals, and the inspiration that comes from the potential to exceed those goals.
Firm and Flexible
"A leader has to be strong enough to make his own decisions, and stick to them even when they're unpopular; but he also must be self-confident enough to solicit opinions and change his mind without worrying that he'll appear weak." -- Giuliani
Recently IRS auditors requested certain information verbally. As it happened, on that same day an official IRS pronouncement came forth which specifically said that audits should not request such information. Who wants to say "no" to IRS auditors? But it just didn't make sense to act quickly and wastefully hand over information if it wasn't truly required. After consulting a national counsultant, and peers who had been through IRS audits before, I chose to ask politely for more time, and took more time, despite pressure. In the end, the information was required; in the meantime, the decision to be patient was unpopular yet prudent. Taking counsel of others before taking a firm stance allowed me to sleep better at night, even as the tension built.
Recently IRS auditors requested certain information verbally. As it happened, on that same day an official IRS pronouncement came forth which specifically said that audits should not request such information. Who wants to say "no" to IRS auditors? But it just didn't make sense to act quickly and wastefully hand over information if it wasn't truly required. After consulting a national counsultant, and peers who had been through IRS audits before, I chose to ask politely for more time, and took more time, despite pressure. In the end, the information was required; in the meantime, the decision to be patient was unpopular yet prudent. Taking counsel of others before taking a firm stance allowed me to sleep better at night, even as the tension built.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Lead, Don't Motivate
From the Leadership McLean County opening retreat:
"Leaders create an environment in which people motivate themselves."
This says that by and large when leaders inherit employees, the values that motivate them are largely ingrained. Successful leaders set them up so that they can feast on those motivational factors. If they're competitive types, then get them into a team environment. If pay drives them, emphasize the connection between results and pay. For the servant-minded, highlight the greater good. Give mentoring opportunities to those who love to teach, writing opportunities to those who like to create, coordination duties to those who love to organize.
"Leaders create an environment in which people motivate themselves."
This says that by and large when leaders inherit employees, the values that motivate them are largely ingrained. Successful leaders set them up so that they can feast on those motivational factors. If they're competitive types, then get them into a team environment. If pay drives them, emphasize the connection between results and pay. For the servant-minded, highlight the greater good. Give mentoring opportunities to those who love to teach, writing opportunities to those who like to create, coordination duties to those who love to organize.
Poll: Employee Appreciation
Here's how employees ranked their job satisfaction according to one study, with most important aspects first:
1. Appreciation
2. Feeling included
3. Help with personal problems
4. Job security
5. Good wages
6. Interesting work
7. Promotion
8. Loyal management
9. Work conditions
10. Tactful discipline
1. Appreciation
2. Feeling included
3. Help with personal problems
4. Job security
5. Good wages
6. Interesting work
7. Promotion
8. Loyal management
9. Work conditions
10. Tactful discipline
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