Ever blurt out something mean without thinking?
One of the reasons that I don't drink is that I know there are too many unkind and unjustified thoughts that pass through my head, and they need filtering, or better yet, a shutoff valve.
Sometimes being tired, hungry, hot, or giddy can have the same effect.
Yesterday I was in a crowd of people and blurted out a one-line joke at someone else's expense. Someone else had asked a question, I tried to be funny.
Through the year's I've come to detest jokes that rip on other people. Yet here I was firing one off, about a perfectly nice guy for no good reason.
Several of my friends around me whipped their head in my direction with wide eyes.
I was disgusted.
It didn't help that the victim of the joke was four feet to my right.
Geez.
You look back over the last few days and see some of the early symptoms of such a boneheaded outburst... several mildly venting remarks about this and that regarding the world at large during conversations with Dena... building the habits of an insensitive person... loosening the precious valves that keep a wayward mind in check.
Now what?
Besides an apology, it's back to living day by day, strengthening the mind with little kindnesses, and the determined dismissal of inconsiderate thoughts. And it ought to be easier, thanks to this recent reminder burning in my mind of how I'm as flawed as anyone.
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