Why You Should Take Stress More Seriously

By Beth Greenfield of Yahoo! Shine:

If you’re someone who frequently declares, “I’m so stressed!” then you might want to pay attention to this: Your risk of heart attack could be double that of folks who don't think they're stressed, according to a new study.

The findings, by French researchers and published Wednesday in the European Heart Journal, showed that people who believe that they are stressed—and that the stress is affecting their health—have more than twice the risk of heart attack as those who don’t feel that way.

“This indicates that individuals' perception and reality seem to be connected pretty well,” lead author Herman Nabi, of the French National Institute of Health and Medical Research, told Yahoo! Shine in an email. “In other words, people seem to be aware when stress is affecting their health.”

The researchers analyzed the data of 7,268 men and women from a previous study, the British Whitehall II cohort, based on a questionnaire that asked the following: “To what extent do you consider the stress or pressure that you have experienced in your life has an effect on your health?" Participants chose from answers including “not at all,” “a little,” “moderately,” “a lot,” and “extremely.” They were also asked to rate their stress levels and other factors, including smoking, alcohol intake, diet, exercise and preexisting health conditions such as diabetes.

People who answered the first question with “a lot” or “extremely” had a 2.12 times higher risk of having or dying from a heart attack compared with those who didn’t think stress was affecting their health.

“Our ultimate goal in this research was to demonstrate [the idea that] individuals' perception of [how] stress impacts their own health is valid, and should be considered both in future research and in clinical settings,” Nabi said. “We wanted also to show that responses to stress differ greatly between individuals. In fact, a situation that is stressful for one person might not be stressful for another.”

While the findings may have merit, they offer “nothing new,” according to Dr. Paul Rosch, founder and board chairman of the American Institute of Stress, who is familiar with the study.

“We’ve known for a long time, to quote the Greek philosopher Epictetus, that ‘men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them,’” he told Yahoo! Shine. “You can show definitively that people have a higher rate of heart attack if they feel they have too many demands on them at work or in life, whether it’s true or not. So if you perceive something, it’s as good as the real thing.”

Rosch said he found the new study to be flawed because the participants who said they felt stressed were also more likely to be smokers and to have a baseline of poor health. “It would have been better to have started off with two groups having equivalent health status, and then show that perceived stress correlated with increased coronary events, or deaths, decades later,” he added.

Still, he said, it certainly can’t hurt a person to be mindful of stress levels — as well as of the additional stress those levels may cause, "provided it encourages you to avoid unhealthy habits and improve your quality of life in other ways, but not if it leads you to worry more about things you can't control."

People should just keep in mind that finding an effective way to reduce stress may take some time, since, as Nabi said, individuals react to situations in different ways.

“Things that are very distressing for some might be pleasurable for others, like a steep rollercoaster ride. So there’s nothing that’s a panacea,” Rosch noted. “Running, doing yoga or listening to music might work for some but be dull, boring and stressful for others.”

Bottom line: Find what’s calming for you and stick with it. Your life could depend on it.

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Hawks Win: "Oh My God, We Never Quit"

BOSTON (AP) -- An NHL-record unbeaten streak to start the lockout-shortened season.

Three straight victories to clinch the title.

From beginning to end, the Chicago Blackhawks skated away from the rest of the league.
Bryan Bickell and Dave Bolland scored 17 seconds apart in the final minutes and the Blackhawks rallied to win Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Final 3-2 on Monday night to clinch their second NHL championship in four seasons.

Jonathan Toews returned from injury to add a goal, and Corey Crawford made 23 saves for Chicago. But Crawford was off for an extra skater for the most important goal of the season, when Jonathan Toews fed it in front and Bickell scored from the edge of the crease to tie it 2-2.

Perhaps the Bruins expected it to go to overtime, as three of the first four games in the series did, because they seemed to be caught off-guard on the ensuing faceoff. A shot deflected by Michael Frolik went off the post right to Bolland, who put it in the net and started the Chicago celebration with 59 seconds left in the game.

''It's huge,'' Bolland said. ''Just seeing that puck bounce around there, I knew I just had to tap it in. So it was a huge goal.''

The Blackhawks on the ice gathered in the corner, while the Blackhawks bench began jumping up and down. It was only a minute later, when Boston's Tuukka Rask was off for an extra man, that the Hawks withstood Boston's final push and surged over the boards, throwing their sticks and gloves across the ice.

''I still can't believe that finish,'' Crawford said. ''Oh my God, we never quit.''

The Bruins got 28 saves from Rask, who was hoping to contribute to an NHL title after serving as Tim Thomas' backup when Boston won it all two years ago. The sold-out TD Garden began chanting ''We want the Cup!'' after Milan Lucic's goal put the Bruins up 2-1 with eight minutes left, but it fell silent after their team coughed up the lead.

The arena was almost empty - except for a few hundred fans in red Blackhawks sweaters who filtered down to the front rows - when the Chicago players passed the 35-pound Cup around the ice.

Patrick Kane, whose overtime goal in Game 6 beat Philadelphia to win the 2010 championship, was voted the Conn Smythe Trophy winner as playoffs MVP.

''It was the best year of my life, just playing with these guys,'' Kane said.

Toews scored his third goal of the playoffs to tie it for the Blackawks at 4:24 of the second of Game 6 - exactly two minutes after teammate Andrew Shaw was penalized for roughing.

''In 2010, we didn't really know what we were doing,'' Toews said. ''We just, we played great hockey and we were kind of oblivious to how good we were playing.

'' This time around, we know definitely how much work it takes and how much sacrifice it takes to get back here and this is an unbelievable group. We've been through a lot together this year and this is a sweet way to finish it off.''

Boston, needing a win to extend the series to a deciding Game 7, came out aggressively and led 1-0 after one period on Chris Kelly's second goal of the playoffs. The Bruins outshot the Blackhawks 12-6 in the first period but the margin dropped to 18-15 through 40 minutes.

Each team got one of its best players back when Toews and Boston alternate captain Patrice Bergeron returned to the lineup after leaving the Blackhawks' 3-1 win with injuries on Saturday.

Toews scored when he got past Boston defenseman Zdeno Chara along the boards in the neutral zone. Chicago's captain skated up the right side and fired a hard shot from the right faceoff dot that beat Rask between his pads.

It was Toews' second goal in three games. Of Chicago's last 10 goals, Chara was on the ice for nine.

Boston right wing Jaromir Jagr was shaken up in the first period. He returned for the second but left the bench, and Tyler Seguin replaced him on the second line with left wing Brad Marchand and center Bergeron.

The play that led to Kelly's goal began after a faceoff that rookie defenseman Torey Krug rushed in to tip toward a teammate. The puck went to Daniel Paille, standing about 40 feet on the left. He passed to Seguin, who caught the puck with his right glove in the slot and dropped it.

Seguin then passed to Kelly, who scored his second goal of the playoffs 7:19 into the game.
It came just seven seconds after a whistle stopped a scrum in front of the net that followed an extended period of pressure by the Bruins.

Just two minutes after the goal, Chicago had one of its best chances of the period when Frolik skated in with the puck behind the defense and fired a 15-foot drive from the left, but Rask made the save.

Boston had another solid chance at 12:24 when Lucic took a 15-foot shot from the slot that Crawford stopped.

After having no power plays in Game 5, the Bruins had four failed advantages in the first two periods.

With 4:01 left in the first, Shaw was struck in the face by a puck when it deflected off the shaft of his stick after Boston's Shawn Thornton shot it. He lay on the ice before getting up and skating off slowly.

Toews was on Chicago's first shift of the game. Bergeron had left Game 5 with an undisclosed injury after playing just 49 seconds in the second period.

Five of the last nine Cup finals have gone seven games, including in 2011 when the Bruins overcame a 3-2 series deficit and won their first championship since 1972 by winning Game 6 in Boston and Game 7 in Vancouver.

In 2010, Chicago won its first NHL title since 1961 on Kane's overtime goal. As they did this year, the Blackhawks won Game 5 to take a 3-2 series lead.

This year's finals have been extremely tight, with three of the first five games going to overtime.
Chicago won the opener in three overtimes, then Boston won 2-1 in one extra period and 2-0. The Blackhawks regained home-ice advantage with a 6-5 overtime win in a wild Game 4 in Boston before returning home for Saturday night's win.

Teams that have won Game 5 after splitting the first four have won the Cup 15 of 22 times since the best-of-seven format began in 1939. But the loser of Game 5 the past six times has won four championships, including the Bruins against the Canucks.

Last season, the Los Angeles Kings beat the New Jersey Devils in six games. This season, the Blackhawks beat the Kings in five games to reach the Cup finals, clinching the series on Kane's goal in overtime.

Gaining Something New

"If you want something you've never had, you must do something you've never done." - Anonymous

Surf City, There We Went: The Week In Thanks

It's easy to overlook the value of relationships, and the foundation they lay for personal peace.

We had a typically glorious bi-annual week long vacation with Dena's side of the family. Surf City was a new North Carolina destination for us, and the steady hum of energy and laughter throughout the resort-sized house reminds me of how rare it is for such a large family to get along so unconditionally. Steady 80 degree temps, daily morning runs, shuffleboard tournaments, grilled burgers, keep-away games in the pool, endless puzzles. Plus we got to cruise the round trip in a comfy tricked-out Impala. It was about as good as a road trip gets.

Dinner last night with our neighbors Scott and Lisa was a fun double-date. Double-dates are my favorite type of group outing, perfect sized for everyone to contribute in a few hours. We talked neighborhood news, exercise, a little philosophy. Dined Italian to kick it off, downed a DQ Blizzard by an outdoor fireplace (yes, outdoor) to close it out.

The hoops coaches and varsity players hopped on a bus to Purdue University for a 4-game tournament. Not only did we win decisively, averaging 14 points margin of victory en route to the championship, but it was another small-group bonding experience with the other coaches.

The last couple of weeks have been filled with firsts on the tutoring business front. I joined the Chamber of Commerce and volunteered to serve as facilitator for Leadership McLean County (acceptance still pending). Updated my resume and applied for a master tutoring job at Heartland Community College. I was contacted by someone interested in using me as an accounting tutor, which will be a new experience, and have been contacted by a handful of students for some summer hours.

I've said multiple times that this is the truest spring that I can recall. Plentiful rain but not storms, plentiful sun with temps consistently between 60 and 80. We enjoyed the summer solstice, and have three months of my favorite season to enjoy.

Our condos continue to sell, the pool's open, the grass is rich, neighbors are increasingly decorating their units. We're just a year away from a significant upgrade to our driveway, fence and carports that should give an attractive facelift to the property.

Summer reading is well underway, as I've navigated a handful of books (as Hidden Bloggers have been reading my reflections).

I spend most days pondering and preparing for the future - and not quite enough time yet giving thanks for the incredible freedom and opportunity ahead.

The Very Pest Service

"I called a discount exterminator. A guy came by with a rolled-up magazine." - Will Shriner

10 Things That Keep Couples In Love

By Laura Schafer of match.com.

We all know that one couple; they’ve been together for years, but are still as giddy over each other as a pair of teenagers. What’s their secret — luck? Happy pills? Actually, it might just be down to a few good habits and a little extra effort on their part. Read on for the scoop on the special sauce that keeps love alive across the decades.

1. Laughing together
Some of the happiest couples in the world aren’t necessarily the ones with the fewest problems — they’re just the ones who know when to see the humor in those situations. “We have been married almost 10 years, and I have spent most of those 10 years sick,” says Las Vegas blogger Natalie Wahl.
“However, we are happily married and have been the whole way throughout. I think one huge factor is our mutual commitment to the other’s comfort and well-being; our other key ingredient is humor.”

2. Regularly reconnecting in small, kind ways
“I help couples build on what already works,” says Elayne Savage, Ph.D., relationship coach, psychotherapist and author of Breathing Room: Creating Space to Be a Couple. “Give each other a warm hug when you first come together. When you get a night out, take a short walk arm-in-arm for 10 or 15 minutes before returning home.” When couples connect through touch and exchanging kind gestures, the relationship provides a natural haven from stress. “Keep your bond strong by spending at least 15 minutes a day with each other just talking,” suggests Christina Steinorth, licensed psychotherapist and author of Cue Cards for Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships.

3. Traveling and trying new things
Couples in love appreciate the value of making a venue change now and then to keep things fresh and exciting. “Travel together and do new, fun and exciting things together at least once or twice a year,” advises Danna Norek, owner of AuraSensory.com. “Traveling is one of the biggest relationship-renewal activities my husband and I have personally experienced. Simply getting away to a new location — away from home and all the obligations, routine, chores and everyday stresses and banalities of life — really sparks the passion in your relationship again.”

4. Effectively communicating and being able to admit when they’re wrong
“Couples in love take responsibility for their own words and reactions,” explains Peter and Heather Larson, co-authors of 10 Great Dates: Connecting Faith, Love & Marriage. “People are highly invested in proving that their partner is the source of their relationship struggles. Unfortunately, this posture leaves them completely disempowered in bringing about any positive change.” One of the main aspects of taking responsibility is participating in genuine and productive communication with each other. “Solid communication skills are essential if a marriage or relationship will stand the test of time,” agrees Sandy Arons, MBA, a certified divorce financial analyst. “The common denominator in divorcing couples is that somewhere along the way, one or both of them stopped communicating with the other.”

5. Forgiving each other and letting go of the little annoyances in life
Loving couples build up their tolerance for forgiveness and keep that skill active. “I’ve seen many people refuse to forgive even small infractions,” says Jennifer L. Fee, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist in Placentia, CA. “These issues will fester and remain like a toothache, thus causing people to ‘fall out of love.’ Being in a close relationship means that you will hurt your spouse, because we’re all human; forgiveness, however, is a skill, and the more we are willing to do it now, the better we can get at it in the future.”

6. Maintaining romantic elements from their courtship period
Couples in love don’t check out on the relationship for months (or years) at a time. “Pay attention to the interests, needs and desires of your partner while trying new things with one another,” suggests Brenda Della Casa, author of Cinderella Was a Liar: The Real Reason You Can’t Find (or Keep) a Prince. Often, all it takes to bring back the wooing vibe are a few small thoughtful or romantic gestures. “Micro-behaviors are all the little things that people do for one another when they are in love, but often stop doing over time — and then they wonder where the love went,” explains Dr. Simon Rego, director of the CBT Training Program at Montefiore Medical Center/Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York. “I think it’s a case of chicken-vs.-the-egg: Do the behaviors stop as the feeling of being in love decreases, or is it vice-versa?” If you used to kiss each other good-bye every day or write each other notes and stopped at some point, it’s time to get those sweet, romantic little habits back into your routine again.

7. Giving each partner space to have some quality time alone
Being in love doesn’t have to mean staying in constant contact with your mate…there can be healthy renewal found in some separation now and then, too. “I’ve been married for eight years. It’s a second marriage for both of us, and I have learned a lot from French women on what keeps couples together,” explains Jamie Cat Callan, author of French Women Don’t Sleep Alone: Pleasurable Secrets to Finding Love. “Surprisingly, it’s not about staying close. Yes, some closeness is wonderful, but then it should be followed by periods where you have a sense of being apart — i.e., separate. Once you come together again, you bring something new and interesting into the marriage. Plus, there’s the deliciousness of a romantic reunion.”

8. Staying physically fit and active together
“When couples exercise together, they are supporting one another, spending time together and releasing endorphins, which connect you with your partner and make you feel good,” says Leon Scott Baxter, founder of CouplesCommittedToLove.com and author of The Finance of Romance: Investing in Your Relationship Portfolio. “Also, when you exercise together, you motivate each other — which helps keep you both going.”

9. Showing frequent appreciation and affection for each other
“I believe nurturing fondness and admiration can be one of the biggest factors when it comes to couples who are still in love after many years,” says Carrie Krawiec, LMFT, a therapist who practices at Birmingham Maple Clinic who also serves as executive director of the Michigan Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. “Showing frequent and genuine appreciation for your partner’s positive traits and behaviors and accepting and understanding your own role in the qualities you resent is the best way to keep a relationship positive and loving rather than letting things become hostile.”

10. Keeping things steamy in the bedroom
Couples in love know how to express themselves between the sheets. “Keep your sex life active,” advise Patty and Greg Kuhlman, the originators of Marriage Success Training. “Schedule a regular date night together, especially if things are slowing down,” advises the couple. “You’ll be surprised how much the anticipation will whet your appetite — just like it did back when you were dating. Overcome any disagreements about initiating intimacy and active/passive roles by taking turns. The brain chemistry stimulated by sexual activity is critical to renewing your bond."

Marathon Mom Chases Down Bicycle Thief

One thief in Seattle chose the wrong mom to try to steal from.

Sarah Tatterson, 37, of West Seattle, Wash., is an accomplished runner, who has completed a dozen half-marathons in her lifetime. So earlier this month when she noticed a stranger walking up her driveway, entering her garage and making a quick exit with her husband's bicycle, her running instincts immediately kicked in.

"I was in my living room. I had just changed into my running clothes and was folding a load of laundry before I headed out," Tatterson told GoodMorningAmerica.com. "I happened to catch out of the corner of my eye a man walking into my detached garage. I ran out there right away expecting that someone was trying steal something. As he emerged from the garage with my husband's bike, I ordered him to put it down and he chose not to."

The man, whom Tatterson describes as in his late 40s or early 50s, looked her straight in the eye and still continued to take off with the bike, which only angered her even more.

"At that point I was determined to get it back," she explained. 'I'm like, 'Sorry buddy.' He looked me straight in the eye and kept going with the bike which made me angry for thinking he was bigger and stronger."

About 30 steps later, the thief realized there was no way he could escape the athletic mom and proceeded to ditch the bike by some trash bins. However, that didn't deter Tatterson from continuing in hot pursuit.

"I just continued to follow him calling out for neighbors to call 911," said Tatterson. "He was probably late 40s, early 50s and clearly not an athlete. He was huffing and puffing and we got probably almost a mile down the road before the cops caught up to us, all the while asking me to stop following him."

But there was no way Tatterson was going to stop.

"I was planning on running six miles that day, but I could do 12 if I needed to," she said.

Tatterson grew up overseas and says she's been victimized before, but never has experienced something as serious as this.

"I've been stolen from many times before in my life," she said. "But nothing has gone down quite like this. It was an instinct, and I reacted in the moment. I didn't have much time to think about it."

Even while running closely behind the thief, Tatterson, who just completed her masters in Pastoral counseling, was trying to reason with the man.

"I was trying to get him to talk to me, and he wasn't wanting to talk about his feelings," she said. "The options were letting him go, or him going to jail. The full meaning of justice is that he'd be rehabilitated. I don't know who he is, but I hope he gets the help he needs."

The man was charged with theft and criminal trespass in the first degree.

Surf City Final Moments - Puzzle Complete!

U.S.S. North Carolina Tour - Video

U.S.S. North Carolina Tour - Photo Gallery

No vacation is complete without a visit to the World War II memorial, the U.S.S. North Carolina! Commissioned in April 1941 until its retirement in June 1947, it held 2,300 men and fought in every engagement in the Pacific against Japan. It destroyed enough enemy craft to receive 15 battle stars. It was turned into a memorial in 1962.

Welcome aboard! A ship 729 feet long (2.5 football fields) is like a small floating city, and tough to squeeze into a photo.

The front of the ship has a plane and a crane for raising and lowering smaller boats into the ocean.

Captain Darren Freidinger is the noble commander of the historic ship.

Gunner Duane ("Dad") Freidinger is ever ready. "Bring it, Japan!"

Artillery sergeant Dena McDonald is the bombshell supplying the bombs.

Captain Freidinger directs your gaze up to the powerful all-seeing radar.

Gunner Freidinger's eager. "Is she ready for me to blast away, Captain?"

A loose bomb on board? Dena smiles. "Any bomb is a good bomb!"

"Come on down and see my toys!"

"We like to shoot all day long, so we have quite the store."

"This is Gunner's stash. Did I mention how much he likes to shoot things?"

"Our other gunners are pretty lean, but feisty."

It's a sweet ride, so you know it needs a dentist office.

As the only doctor on board, his rates are outrageous!

What in the world are they making in the lab?

Ah, yes... drugs.

You're riding with 2 million gallons of fuel, miles of wiring, asbestos, and 8,000 tons of explosives. What better place to have a smoke?

Stowaways! "I wonder what would happen if I press the 'Blow Up The Ship' button?"

"Hey you stowaways! What's going on down here?"

"Back away from the periscope and come up to walk the plank!"

Captain studies the regulations regarding maximum door height with some dismay.

Time to raise anchor and set sail!

Farewell North Carolina! And thank you for protecting our nation.

Surf City Pool Party

Fun times at the pool in Surf City, North Carolina!

Sis-in-law Dona, Dad F, niece Kelsey, Mom F

Kelsey, Mom F, niece Taylor, sis-in-law Jodie, sis-in-law Tracy

The chair gang (now including sis-in-law Zina, next to Dad F) cheers on a battle for pool supremacy as nieces Paige, Elisabeth and Courtney assault bro-in-law Troy!

The action expands as nephews Lane and Trevor skillfully hurl a ball back and forth while nephew Tyler adds commentary from the observation deck.

Loaf Of Brood

Former college star Mark Alarie felt that loafing was contagious and destructive.

If you have a player who loafs, it will allow others to loaf. And that will bring down your team's overall level of commitment. If everyone fails to work as hard as they can or as hard as they should, it can and will drag down the group little by little. The best of us fall prey to that lowering of standards. It can infect everyone on the team, and the team itself.

Winners watch vigilantly for loafing (especially in themselves), and snuff it out.

Toughness Measured

The measure of the toughness of a teammate is the lowest task which he is willing to do. Is nothing beneath him? That is sacrifice.

Hoops Notes From Toughness Book

- From Doug Collins: getting 70% of 50/50 (up for grabs) balls is a measure of a team's overall toughness.
- Bob Knight "change" drill. When change is yelled, offensive player puts ball down and possession changes. The new defensive player may not guard the man who was previously guarding him.
- "No dribble" incorporated into every practice.
- Defense with hands behind backs. "Defense is not a game of hands; it is a game of feet. Your feet have to dominate on defense. Your hands put the other team on the free-throw line. That's why the feet, the development of the feet was so important to me. I wanted to take the hands out of it. It was tougher to play with your feet."

Next Play

It's a great concept.

Next play.

When something goes wrong or right, there's little value in getting overly high or low. Move on.

Next play.

"If you don't move on to the next play, mentally and physically, you're just lingering in the past. And you're cheating yourself and your teammates. Next play is a very real form of mental toughness." - Grant Hill

Dramatic Improvement

"Much of what I have been able to do in law and broadcasting I attribute to the toughness I gained from stepping out of my comfort zone in areas I never would have imagined would make me tougher and prepare me for almost anything." - Jay Bilas

Bilas' sources of discomfort were his participation in debate classes and in school drama plays - places that made you react on the fly in front of audiences. It trained him to work on his feet, built his confidence (through trial and error) that he had been in uncharted waters before and could succeed again.

The Toughness Formula

"The harder I worked, the tougher I seemed to get. Funny how that works." - Grant Hill

Fitness Is Largely Mental

The U.S. women's national soccer team was near exhaustion in the midst of a grueling workout. Nearing a failure point, one member suddenly cried:

"Norway is not f------ doing this right now! They are not willing to pay this price!"

The energy level of the team instantly increased. The perspective was not of a fruitless chore but a leg up on the competition. Outworking an opponent is a huge motivation.

"Hell, yeah! We're going to outwork the competition, and we're going to love it. Your threshold is not what you think it is. You can do more; you can give more." - Julie Foudy

Battling Self-Doubt

"I think you have to earn your confidence... You earn it through your work. I was able to battle my self-doubt by knowing I was working harder, that I was putting the effort in, and that I was as prepared as I could be." - Steve Kerr

The fear of failure is more easily washed away by hard work. Why? Because you know you've done your best at the end. If you lose, it's because you were outplayed, not outworked. That's the type of "failure" that a man can live with.

Uncluttered Mind

Steve Kerr, never a superior athlete but one of the top NBA 3-point shooters of all time, believed that he had to "trick his mind" because he thought it was just too easy to let his mind go to those "dark places" where negativity resides. "Why give yourself one other thing to overcome out there? You have to overcome your own clutter in your mind, not add to it."

I've found increasing peace from the ability to recognize a lousy thought and then blow it off. More specifically, to snuff it out with a worthwhile task today.

The Right Kind Of Addiction

"I used to say, 'I have to prepare'... not anymore. I want to prepare, and I have come to really enjoy the preparation and enjoy the process." - Jay Bilas

I remarked to someone recently that a day without exercise has come to feel like a day without brushing my teeth. An unnatural, restless feeling develops. The day feels ill-spent.

There are things that I'm not good at today, but could be. Things that could become a positive part of who I am. With discipline and practice, it will feel as much an essential and natural part of each day as a shower - clean, successful.

And for you?

Stepping Up

"You can't get to the top of a ladder in one step. But you can get to the bottom."

There is a force in all minds that sucks the light and life from the victorious path of our potential. It causes us to stew, sulk, condemn, curse, fume, fret. It raises the blood pressure and lowers mental quickness. It's the mental gravity of anyone who wants to climb higher.

Don't look down. Don't skip steps. Just step up.

Condition-al Success

"Most of the players with better talent, I was in better condition. They felt like they didn't have to be in better condition because they had more talent." - Herm Edwards

Edwards entered the pro football Philadelphia Eagles training camp competing against a hundred other candidates for a handful of spots. He ended up being the starter. He and others credit his faithful physical conditioning as the basis for his excellence.

Conditioning is the fuel of success, as much as complacency is the poison of failure.

The Will To Prepare To Win

"Everyone has a will to win, but not everyone has a will to prepare to win." - Bob Knight

Knight as a coach was renowned for his effort to prepare for as many game scenarios as possible.

Jay Bilas the ESPN basketball analyst and broadcaster is incredibly thorough in his game prep:

- watch tape of teams' recent games
- take notes and compile scouting reports on tendencies of each player, strengths and weaknesses, important statistics from his last four games
- break down offensive and defensive tendencies of teams (deny passes? fight through screens? defense of pick-and-rolls? post defense? go-to plays?)
- talk with coaches who recently played against the teams
- write scouting report by hand the day before the game

In both cases, their preparation allows them to simply watch the game and react to what they see on the floor. What may appear to be natural is in actuality the result of passionately long work. It's the will to prepare to win.

Making A Difference Rather Than A Deference

"Grant [Hill] has an incredible set of values, as strong as anyone's. Those values have really helped him, but they have also been a weakness at times. He has rationalized and deferred at times, especially early on in his career." - Mike Krzyzewski

How heavily does the fear of incapability strangle and weigh down our potential? Yes, we are less capable now than our future selves, and perhaps less capable than those around us - at the moment. But who will outwork you, if you decide not to be outworked? And who can succeed over you for long, once you have committed to that decision? Not many, would be my guess. Deferring the load to someone else means that you'll never be any more able to carry it yourself than you are right now. Why settle?

The Truth About Failing

"Failing doesn't make you a failure. Failure makes you a competitor... Tough people fail, but tough people are not failures. The only failures are those who give up, or give in." - Jay Bilas

I hate to fail. I don't handle it well. The demons of surrender are as strong in me as in anyone else. And settling for that, rationalizing the failures of the past as part of who I am, the product of some dominant gene, or whatever, creates a lasting failure.

The truth is that some of my greatest failures have taught the greatest lessons and led to the greatest results. The F in social studies as an 8th grader launched a full scholarship to college. Riding the end of the freshman bench in high school was the springboard to becoming a varsity captain.

We get the chance to compete all our lives, against ourselves and the circumstances which may tilt in opposition. How will we win?

Comeback Confidence

"A setback is a setup for a comeback." - Tommy Amaker

Last year's varsity boys basketball team at our high school sank to a record of 4-7 before rattling off 19 straight wins.

How much different would the spirit of the locker room have been at the low point, had they known how far they would go? But this is the potential that lies ahead of and within each of us. We are rarely that far removed from a great winning streak. The next step is the crucial one. Which one will we take, the one forward or the one back?

Toughness Is A Skill

"If the people around you are tough, and they are willing to do tough things, I think you are more likely to be tough too. That's good peer pressure. Peer pressure can make us do things we shouldn't do, but it can make us want to do the tough things, the right things, too." - Bill Self

Consider the five to ten people you spend the most time with. How do they respond to adversity? With whines or wins? Wails or will? Complaining or committing? With hard luck or hard work? Defeatedly or determinedly? With a scowl or a smile?

We choose our company, and we choose our attitude. Toughness is a skill worth practicing.

Energy Boosting Through The Ages

"The confidence instilled by a coach knows no age limit."

When Mike Krzyzewski was named coach of the Olympic men's basketball team, much negative press was given to the inability of a college coach to manage professional players. So his old coach Bob Knight gave him a call of encouragement that he could definitely do it. Krzyzewski went on to coach the team to two gold medals - and counting.

Whether or not your title is "coach," you have a chance to lift someone up daily through a simple act of words. Someone, somewhere could really use it, even if they don't realize how much. It's just a matter of looking.

Elegant Body Language

"In the last two minutes of the 2008 title game against Memphis, our body language never changed. Our guys didn't believe that they could lose. The body language was the culmination of years of working on it, valuing it, believing it." - Bill Self

After a big mistake, loss, injury, workout, disaster, the mind starts to sag. If the rest of the body follows, a person is beaten. Winners find a way to keep their heart up, supporting their chest and backbone. The higher the head, the higher the spirit and ultimately the success.

Gang Tough

"You're not tough alone." - Mike Krzyzewski

Star athletes in individual sports like tennis have coaches and trainers backing them up.

Team sports have teammates.

Corporate departments have co-workers.

Worshipers have pastors and fellow congregants.

Students have study groups or roommates.

Battling the adversities of life, or chasing a goal of any kind, is far more meaningful and attainable with a support group.

I'm fortunate to have a group of supportive family members and coaches. And fortunate to be able to pass that on to players, students and family. Staying connected adds color and fuel to life.

How To Build Trust

"I knew plenty of players who had false promises made to them in recruiting, and then had to live with it or leave. But [Coach Mike Krzyzewski] didn't do that... I always respected that, and never doubted him - in large measure because of that." - Jay Bilas

It's no wonder that they say honesty is the best policy. Stating the truth is an incredible builder of trust. The most deposits of honesty are made into the bank of trust, the more unshakable the relationship will be in the inevitable tough times.

A Teacher's View Of Summer Break

I figured that my friends in the educational field would enjoy this one...

A High Note

I wouldn't mind living a life that can be measured by the number of lives touched. Looking back on an unremarkable insurance career, the sprinkles of inspiration that it may have provided give it a sweeter aftertaste.

"I'm sure you've heard it many times over by now from all of your former SF coworkers, but I can't thank you enough for being such a great manager, mentor, and friend. Thank you for your kindness, patience, and respect in our time together. I highly doubt that I will ever have the privilege of working under/with anyone like you again. You always find the silver lining in any situation; you always found time to help myself and others when it mattered most, even if that meant ridiculously long hours; and you focused on helping yourself and the people around you grow and improve, rather than just the immediate goals of the task at hand. I hope that I'll be able to lead by the example you've given to me some day.

I was reading your blog while writing this, and I was reminded of something that you said to me, that you admired my servant-like qualities. Looking back now, I realize that while you lead with confidence and skill, the opportunities you chose to pursue were not the ones that served you the best, but those around you. I think you've made the right choice, for both you and those around you. Keep being awesome, Joe!"

My Heart Will Go On - Played Awfully

Family Catch Phrase

Our first night in Surf City. Time to pass the blue disc and guess like wild in a non-competitive game of Catch Phrase.

Top Ten-ish Lists

I'll be meeting with three people this week to help shape my future. With about an hour apiece to visit, it's a good idea to come prepared with questions that I think are most important.

With a prospective mentor for tutoring:

1. Do you get many requests for free consultations, and about how often do these turn into paying clients?

2. Who does your web hosting? Have you gotten feedback about any particular content of it?

3. Where did you post flyers at ISU? In what ways do you market? Do you have connections who are educators?

4. How often do you get group sessions? How often do people pre-pay?

5. What made you decide to manage a tutoring business in Arizona?

6. Do you provide incentives for testimonials?

7. About how many hours a week do you tutor during the school year?

8. Is your business officially registered? Steps?

With a basketball coach mentor:

1. Can I get onto the e-mail list for I-Club?

2. What are your favorite sources of hoops information? Grantland, ESPN, etc.

3. Is there any information would you like to get off last year's varsity game film?

4. What can I do better?

5. Do you have a book of favorite drills?

What Do You Do?

"Figure out what you do, then do it. And do it better than anyone else." - Tim Grover

"Beat thy neighbor" isn't one of my guiding principles, but the desire to drive toward improvement and live with excellence sure is. I'm fortunate to have learned my natural gift of teaching. Are there others? Maybe so, which keeps life exciting. How about you?

Discovering Firemen

"But regardless of how you build that team - any team, in sports or business or any endeavor - no matter how you snap the pieces into place, you need that one guy who never needs a fire lit under him, who commands respect and fear and attention and demands that others bring the same excellence to their performance that he demands of himself. He doesn't have to be the most skilled or gifted guy on the team, but he establishes and example that everyone else can follow." - Tim Grover

During summer basketball camp it sticks out greatly when kids are hustling through every drill, grabbing every rebound like it's a diamond, diving for loose balls. In the walking-around world, there are people who show up places on time, who return messages, who do the little things with quality, including to look after the needs of others, who grind through challenges. If you're not the type, you might do well to befriend someone who is.

Ready To Learn

"That's the trademark of a dangerous competitor: he doesn't have to know what's coming because whatever you show him, he's ready. No fear of failure." - Tim Grover

Analytical, planning types like me don't respond kindly to the unknown. The need to have every risk covered is safe, and at times inferior in results. I've especially noticed this from a coach's seat where, as with most things in life, things rarely unfold according to any exact plan. There is certainly worth in preparation, the grunt work of mastering the little things of any craft. And also of great importance is the repetition of just jumping into the fray, armed with preparation, and training the mind to react to things on the fly. The mistakes that come along the way are not "failure," that word that seeds the breeding ground of fear. They're lessons.

Emotional Muscles

The other day I read someone's opinion that "emotions make you weak."

I do think that there are weakening emotions. Anger, in particular, has ravaging effects on the body long-term. Fear is another, though it comes in helpful when a bear is chasing you. These two have a way of charging onto many scenes for us, clouding our ability to make sound decisions and draining us of physical and mental energy.

I'd rather practice the art of defusing them, to strengthen those emotional muscles toward the optimistic side. Just practicing my smile is a part of it, and then exercising it often. Envisioning that any bad break could be much worse, and has a (sometimes hidden) benefit to it.

Yesterday I sprained something in my foot during a run. Today I ought to stay off of it. But I can still work out my arms, so I will find my way to the gym. Fear of pain along the way will not rule the mission. The greater good will.

Coming Into Focus

"For all the time we spend working on our careers and talents - going to school, building a business, making money, training the body - it's ultimately your mental focus and concentration, your ability to control your environment and the heartbeats of others, that determines whether you succeed or fail." - Tim Grover

I try to leave "control" in God's hands, but am all on board with the value of mental concentration. Every once in a while I'll slip into a highly productive zone. It's a state worth achieving more often. Exercises such as reading, blogging, tutoring and coaching help out with that. The day is long and filled with possibility. I like to sit down with a pocket calendar in hand and scribble down a handful of things I definitely want to accomplish during the day; checklists keep me focused. It keeps life from sliding past without enjoyment.

Getting From Here To There

"There are no secrets. There are no tricks. If anything, it's the opposite: Whether you're a pro athlete or a guy running a business or driving a truck or going to school, it's simple. Ask yourself where you are now, and where you want to be instead. Ask yourself what you're willing to do to get there. Then make a plan to get there. Act on it." - Tim Grover

Yesterday I got active in growing the tutoring business. I contacted the Chamber of Commerce to explore membership; contacted ISU's small business development center to attend a seminar; contacted a respected tutor in town to establish a mentoring relationship; contacted Heartland Community College about the possibility of tutoring there. This list came from about 15 minutes of sitting quietly with pencil and paper to brainstorm possible networking ideas.

Perspective rarely changes by sitting still; adventures seldom happen in the living room. Action makes the difference.

Kidd, Hill, McDonald Retire After 19 Seasons

Jason Kidd, Grant Hill and Joe McDonald assembled a press conference to announce their retirement at age 40 after 19 seasons in the league.

Kidd was one of the best passing and rebounding point guards in history.

I think it is the right time," Kidd said. "When you think about 19 years, it has been a heckuva ride. It is time to move on and think about maybe coaching or doing some broadcasting."

"Me too," McDonald said, with a sidelong look toward Kidd as if Kidd had simply read McDonald's own notes over his shoulder.

"Jeff [Schwartz] and I and my family had been talking this past weekend," Kidd added of his agent.

"We talked a lot and we felt it was the right time to move on and so we notified my employer. It is the right thing to do."

"Me too," McDonald noted with some bemusement toward the 10-time All-Star, gesturing toward his own wonderfully supportive and inspirational wife Dena.

Kidd leaves the game as a sure-fire Hall of Fame point guard. The 10-time All-Star led the NBA in assists five times and finished second all-time in assists and steals behind John Stockton.

Kidd, who had two years remaining on his contract at just more than $3 million per year, leaves with a legacy that includes an NBA championship with the Dallas Mavericks and two Olympic gold medals with Team USA.

"The two things that are probably tied for first are winning a championship with the Mavericks and also being able to win a gold medal -- two gold medals with Team USA," Kidd said of what he's most proud of in his career. "And then underneath that will probably be sharing Rookie of the Year with Grant."  

McDonald established a company record with 14 years as tax actuary, and ranked in the top five all-time with 5 years as director of group life insurance.

"I'm glad to say I'm done," Hill said. "I'm officially retired, moving on from playing. I had a great run. I'm announcing it now. ... I've been hinting at it the last few years. You get to a point where you just don't want to do it anymore."

McDonald smiled and nodded along, as if it would become infinitely more interesting to talk about his daily activities with Dena.

Kidd took great pride in his ability to make teammates better and his knack for turning teams around.

"The biggest thing is winning," Kidd said of what he wants to be remembered for. "No matter what my numbers say in the sense of points, assists, rebounds and steals, it's always been about winning. And it will always be about winning … making my teammates better."

McDonald clearly felt the same.

"They got a good group of guys," Kidd said of the team's prospects for next season. "We had some success so I think they are sitting in a good spot and [general manager] Glen Grunwald and [owner James] Dolan and [coach Mike] Woodson are figuring out the pieces that can help them be a championship-type team."

McDonald echoed those sentiments, with comparable nods toward Rusty Hendren, Gerry Brogla and Nancy Behrens.

"Jason's value to us cannot be quantified by statistics alone," Grunwald said in a statement. "Everyone here in New York saw firsthand what a tremendous competitor he is and why Jason is considered to be one of the best leaders we have ever seen."

Woodson said in the statement that Kidd "provided an incredible voice inside our locker room and I considered it an honor to say I coached him."

Hendren issued a statement referring to McDonald as "Superman," a jovial title ascribed to him based on a successful career at Illinois State University.

"It's a grind," Kidd said of playing all these years. "Physically, I feel good. Mentally, I might be just a little tired because of the grind. And once if your mind is not into it 100 percent, then you are not going to be successful and bad things can happen with the sense of injuries. I don't want to go down that road. It is time for me to look forward to doing something new."

McDonald concurred, noting the enjoyment of his community theater roles in recent years. "I actually got here by mistake. I checked the 'actor' box on my college application. But playing an actuary has been a profitable if grinding role these last five years. At the risk of typecasting it's time to move on, and it turns out that I did learn to be a decent math tutor in the process."

Hill, signed a two-year, $4 million contract with the Clippers last year but had alluded several times at the end of this season that he would retire over the summer.

"The entire Clippers organization wants to congratulate Grant on an incredible career," Clippers vice president of basketball operations Gary Sacks said. "For 19 years, Grant has always been the embodiment of class, a true professional and not only one of the best players -- but one of the finest individuals I have been around. We were fortunate to have Grant with us last season, and we wish him all the best in his next endeavor."

"Joe left an impression on me as well as so many young people at the office," noted future senior vice president of life operations Katie Lenzini. "He has shown how to give back and live a meaningful life, among distractions and demands of a job. All the while he kept a cheerful attitude and creativity at work. Working with him on the Training Committee was so much fun, and we will all be working hard to continue the success he helped create."

Hill was one of the best basketball players in the world in the late 1990s after winning two national championships at Duke, an Olympic gold medal with Team USA at the 1996 Olympics and earning five All-NBA honors and the 1994-95 Co-Rookie of the Year Award.

Injuries, however, prevented Hill from reaching his full potential in the NBA, although he was able to play in at least 80 games in three of his five seasons with the Phoenix Suns, where he played in the Western Conference Finals in 2010, his most successful playoff run.

Likewise the passing of McDonald's father in 2001 at age 66 was formative in his decision to swing more "life" into the concept of "work/life balance" and to adopt the motto "Life's short, have fun."

True Lives

"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

So discovered elder care nurse Bronnie Ware of Australia, upon asking several of their greatest regret.

"When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it."

Surviving A Plain Crash

"No one ever survives a plane crash and then says, 'Really made me want to watch more television. When your life flashes before your eyes, you start to realize how long you've been taking shows about cake for granted.'" - Jon Acuff

A plain life is perfectly honorable. Chances are, we want a little more than that. If this were our last year to live, what would we do?

Getting Saintly

"Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." - Oscar Wilde

From time to time some dreadful error of the past will flutter (or crash) into mind. But that needn't be who we are. Or who we ever were. I think that a successful future comes from a thoughtful consideration of it. Haunts of the past are pure waste. The chance of being a saint forever begins with being so for an hour. Cheerfully move into it!

Transition To Paradise: The Week In Thanks

School wasn't completely out this week.

Fictional school was out. Our 12-performance run of Spelling Bee kept Hidden Blog flush with photos and comments, and was a merry ride from start to finish with a tremendous small group. We averaged around a hundred visitors per performance, more than enough to get the walls bouncing with laughter of all ages. Considering that I'd started training for the Bee in January, last Sunday marked a new, clean page on the calendar.

I spent a couple hours tutoring a student. A few others have expressed interest. This will likely be a quiet, steady trickle of activity through the summer, leaving plenty of time to conjure up plans to boost the business with gusto in the fall.

High school activities colored the week. As mentioned earlier I attended a two-day leadership camp. It had the feel of a nonpartisan, fledgling ministry of wholesome values. Most of the feedback for change centered around converting it from lecture-based to activity-based, which opens exciting possibilities for the future.

I spent hours outdoors reading my birthday book from Dena called Start, about launching life into an awesome new direction. I also read a history book about the 1960 Rome Olympics and the many inspirational lessons of gold medalists Rafer Johnson, Wilma Rudolph, and other athletes who fell short of their goals.

I was fortunate to receive some well-wishes from former State Farm co-workers, and a warm reception from many at Normal Community High School and around the neighborhood with congratulations on moving on to this next phase of life's journey.

Spring continues to assert itself as poetically as ever. This week was sprinkled with warm clouds and rain of various thickness throughout, a delightful mix of patchy blue sky and flourishing foliage. Dena and I took it all in one breezy late afternoon after a couple hours of exercise, parking on the front step and sipping water easily, the scent of mowed grass and softened earth registering with each delicious breath. The swimming pool guys are in the process of opening for the summer season, but these last few weeks before then still conjure up the spirit of awakening.

We hit the eastern trail (interstate 74, to be exact) next Saturday to join the rest of Dena's family in North Carolina for a week of true recreation, a thousand miles from the nearest responsibility. God willing it will be a sun-kissed holiday, with the reverent undertone of the ocean tide in our ears. And occasionally, the visions of FIFA video soccer dominance... a recent league championship being another gaudy accomplishment afforded by the blessing of time.

The ministry of the future lies in wait, and we're looking forward to another sensational week of abundance and growth from God's path. May the rains and sunshine fall gently upon the shoulders of us all between the Sundays.

10 Ways To Burn Fat Faster

By Hallie Levine, Redbook:
 
Stock up on green tea 
Green tea isn't known only for its cancer-fighting benefits: It may help boost your metabolism, too. People who took green-tea extract three times a day saw their metabolic rate increase by about 4 percent, according to a study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. (Translation: You could burn an extra 60 calories a day, which equals about six pounds a year!) It may be because green tea contains catechins, which increase levels of the metabolism-speeding brain chemical norepinephrine, says Joy Bauer, a New York City nutritionist and author of Cooking with Joy.

Pump iron
Weight training is the ultimate way to burn calories fast. "A pound of muscle burns up to nine times the calories of a pound of fat," explains Richard Cotton, M.A., chief exercise physiologist for myexerciseplan.com. Weight training increases your resting metabolic rate, which is the number of calories you burn while sitting on your butt. What's more, it gives your metabolism an added boost after you exercise: It remains in overdrive for up to two hours after the last bench press, according to a study published in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise. Strapped for time? Try these quick moves: squats, bench step-ups, lunges, push-ups, pull-ups and crunches. In a pinch, just do single sets of 10 for each exercise - you'll get optimal results for the time invested.
 
Eat iron
Yeah, we just told you to pump iron, but you also need to eat it. "If you don't have enough of this mineral, your body can't get enough oxygen to your cells, which slows down your metabolism," explains Samantha Heller, R.D., a nutritionist at the New York University Medical Center. Most multivitamins contain around 18 mg (the RDA for adults); you can also get your fill by eating three to four daily servings of foods rich in iron, such as lean red meat, chicken, fortified cereal and soy nuts. If you are feeling symptoms such as fatigue and weakness, ask your doctor to test you for anemia (it's a simple blood test) at your next physical.

Order water - and ask for a refill
A German study found that when you drink 17 ounces of water (about two glasses) within a certain time frame, your metabolic rate shoots up by about 30 percent. Using these results, they estimate that by increasing your current water intake by 1.5 liters a day, a person would burn an extra 17,400 calories a year, resulting in about a five-pound weight loss.

Get your thyroid checked
Suspect you have a sluggish metabolism? You might have hypothyroidism, or an underactive thyroid gland, which afflicts about 25 percent of American women - many of whom don't know they have the condition, according to the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists. "The thyroid gland controls your body's metabolism, so one of the first signs that it may be off is an inability to lose weight," explains Pamela Peeke, M.D., professor of medicine at the University of Maryland and author of Fight Fat After Forty. Your doctor can determine if you're suffering from hypothyroidism by running a blood test. If you do have an underactive thyroid, you'll be treated with a synthetic thyroid supplement, which you will need to take for the rest of your life (it will return your metabolism to normal, so it should be easier to lose weight).
 
Avoid alcohol
Want to keep your favorite meals from going straight to your hips (thighs, belly)? Wash them down with water, not wine. Alcohol slows your metabolism by depressing the central nervous system. A British study found that when alcohol was added to a high-fat, high-calorie meal, less dietary fat was burned off and more was stored as body fat.

Rev up workouts Interval training - in which you add bursts of high-intensity moves into your workout - is a surefire metabolism booster, says Glenn Gaesser, Ph.D., director of the Kinesiology Program at the University of Virginia and author of The Spark. Researchers at Laval University in Quebec found that high-intensity interval training burns more fat than regular, consistent aerobic exercise. If you usually jog at a 10-minute-mile pace, for example, add a 30-second sprint every five minutes. Or add a one-minute incline to your treadmill workout every five minutes. "Even if you just have 10 minutes for a quick workout, you can walk at a normal pace and then add in a 30-second bout of speed-walking every three minutes," recommends Gaesser.

Do more dairy
Women who ate low-fat dairy products, such as nonfat yogurt and low-fat cheese, three to four times a day lost 70 percent more fat than low-dairy dieters, according to a study published in the journal Obesity Research. "Calcium serves as a switch that tells your body to burn excess fat faster," explains study author Michael Zemel, M.D., director of the Nutrition Institute at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. Sorry, but you won't reap the same benefits from calcium-fortified O.J. Research shows that you get the best results from dairy products themselves, not fortified foods. Aim for 1,200 mg, which includes about three servings of dairy a day.
 
Take up a new sport
Are you like Old Faithful when it comes to your morning walk or evening jog? Know this: The more you do an activity, the more your body adapts to it, so you burn fewer calories. If you want to light a fire under your metabolism, consider cross-training. For example, if you normally walk, try biking instead. "Since you're not used to working all those different muscles, it's a more intense workout, which can translate into a greater metabolic after-burn because your body is working harder to recover and get oxygen to all your tissues," says Carol Espel, M.S., an exercise physiologist for Equinox Fitness Clubs in New York City.

Go fish
Break out the lemon wedges: Regular fish eaters tend to have lower levels of the hormone leptin - good because high levels of leptin have been linked to low metabolism and obesity, says Louis Aronne, M.D., an obesity specialist at the New York Presbyterian Weill Cornell Medical Center. Try to consume three to four servings of a fatty fish, such as salmon, tuna or mackerel, each week.

Down On Luck

"Luck is a word people who are lazy use to describe people who are hustling. If you ever taste it in your mouth, spit it out as fast as you can." - Jon Acuff

Naturally I've heard of the luck of the Irish. And in light of the prejudices they faced as they first immigrated to America over a century ago, the gritty foundations they laid for society in some very literal ways (most notably coast-to-coast railroads and the drainage tiles here in the Midwest), and the tireless work of my own father... it's safe to agree that the appearances of luck are often just the sheen of exertions and devotions extremely well done. Fate guided by God and fruited from a relentless passion for the opportunities that life offers.

Iron Standard

This week I was fortunate to be invited to participate in a leadership camp for high school students. It was framed with an Iron Standard, four tenets of living. It is exciting to experience something like this at a time of personal rebirth, to decide how to sculpt the second half of life into another full-figured masterpiece.

Be Humble

1. Realize you still have a lot to learn.
2. Recognize you can learn from anyone.
3. Be part of something bigger than yourself.
4. Team goals should be placed ahead of personal goals.
5. Show empathy towards others.
6. Put others' needs ahead of your own.

Listen

1. Listen to what others expect.
2. Listen to what others need.
3. Listen to the correct people.
4. Listen to develop trust with others.
5. Be quick to listen and slow to speak.
6. What you say should have value & purpose.

Serve Others

1. Make the right decisions for the right reasons.
2. Contribute positively any way you can.
3. Make those around you better.
4. Take initiative - look for what needs to be done & do it.
5. Build up others.
6. Help others to reach their goals.

Work Hard

1. Work hard to determine level of success.
2. Work hard academically.
3. Work hard athletically.
4. Work hard at your relationships.
5. Work hard when no one is looking.
6. Recognize that the greatest outwork everyone.

Living With Purpose, Instead Of Searching For It

"Forget finding a purpose. Live with purpose instead." - Jon Acuff

The idea is that seeking to determine some singular purpose for your life can be overwhelming or discouraging. I suppose there's an analogy to investing money - searching for one perfect stock is extraordinarily time-consuming, not to mention dangerously narrow.

Is it worthwhile instead to simply do what you love to do, as best you can?

- What gesture of kindness can you give to co-workers?
- What creativity can you bring tonight to your family?
- Where can you and your spouse go for a date this weekend?
- What might you do on your next vacation?
- What is your dream? How would you like your life to be in five years? What's one small step in that direction?

A Boat Length Ahead

During the 1960 Olympic trials for rowing, the favored team from the University of California did not intimidate the crew from the Navy, who upset them in the finals. Coach Lou Lindsey understood and countered Cal's strategy, as one team member later recalled:

"The idea was that if you [stick close during their big push], you're going to gain the upper hand. If they don't gain a thing, it is inherently demotivating for them. And that's exactly what happened the next day. At a thousand meters we were even with Cal, and when Cal took [their burst], we took ours. At the end we were still even with them. And five strokes later we were four seats out front. Why does that happen? Both crews did the same thing. But in their minds they lost, and in our minds we won. And the adrenaline you get from winning, and realizing that you had done, makes a helluva difference in your performance. We spurted to that four-seat lead and ended up winning by a full boat length."

Chances are that your today is fairly similar to someone else's. Will you see the bright or the dark side of it? Will you end up a boat length ahead or behind tomorrow?