Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Everyone Has Something To Teach Me
"There's no one on earth who doesn't know something valuable." - Alan Gregerman, Ph.D.
One of my co-tutors at Heartland is into his late 70s. Despite being out of school longer than I've been alive, he continues to reach out to others to help. I enjoy sitting next to him when he talks about his long professional career in industry, or his philosophy on many things.
We encounter many people, often sitting innocently next to us. They have stories that may go beyond interesting, may teach us something personally useful.
The other day I got into a conversation with a librarian. Near the end of the conversation she mentioned something offhandedly about plumbing issues. I asked further, and ultimately ended up getting a great referral to fix a problem with the house.
Often it's not the first item, but the third or fourth link in a chain that leads to a real personal treasure. The key is to take that first step.
One of my co-tutors at Heartland is into his late 70s. Despite being out of school longer than I've been alive, he continues to reach out to others to help. I enjoy sitting next to him when he talks about his long professional career in industry, or his philosophy on many things.
We encounter many people, often sitting innocently next to us. They have stories that may go beyond interesting, may teach us something personally useful.
The other day I got into a conversation with a librarian. Near the end of the conversation she mentioned something offhandedly about plumbing issues. I asked further, and ultimately ended up getting a great referral to fix a problem with the house.
Often it's not the first item, but the third or fourth link in a chain that leads to a real personal treasure. The key is to take that first step.
When The Sewer Smells Like Lavender
"You can transform an unpleasant experience (like dealing with a gruff boss) by pairing it in your mind with something pleasant. The meaning you attach changes the experience." - Marc Schoen, Ph.D.
God's final nudge to me into teaching took a familiar form - a boss ordering me into his office to (rightly, by that point) question my commitment.
In reality, it was a grim moment hardly worth replaying. Naturally it played fairly often in the days that followed. In time, I came to change a few details in my mind. He extended his hand warmly and congratulated me on my retirement. As I walked out the door, one of my favorite songs came on the air as if I were a relief pitcher coming out of the bullpen for the big save. I stepped outside into warm spring sunshine and breezes, free at last (that part is actually true).
These days when I wake up, I like to envision myself climbing onto a bus with God as the driver. My path is set, steering and crashes are no concern, the view is leisurely. It's a peaceful ride.
God's final nudge to me into teaching took a familiar form - a boss ordering me into his office to (rightly, by that point) question my commitment.
In reality, it was a grim moment hardly worth replaying. Naturally it played fairly often in the days that followed. In time, I came to change a few details in my mind. He extended his hand warmly and congratulated me on my retirement. As I walked out the door, one of my favorite songs came on the air as if I were a relief pitcher coming out of the bullpen for the big save. I stepped outside into warm spring sunshine and breezes, free at last (that part is actually true).
These days when I wake up, I like to envision myself climbing onto a bus with God as the driver. My path is set, steering and crashes are no concern, the view is leisurely. It's a peaceful ride.
Life Is An Ocean, Love Is A Boat
A man is strengthened by caring; his passions buoy him up.
The act of giving has been proven to boost self-confidence. Giving things, giving time, giving a listening ear. I am lucky to have an extremely loveable wife who models it for me. I'm fired up weekly if not daily by the chance to teach, brainstorm or compliment. Back in the days when I had an unpleasant job, it was those micro-moments with my peers and direct reports that kept the spirit afloat. Nowadays, that motor of love has life as one big lazy river of peace.
The act of giving has been proven to boost self-confidence. Giving things, giving time, giving a listening ear. I am lucky to have an extremely loveable wife who models it for me. I'm fired up weekly if not daily by the chance to teach, brainstorm or compliment. Back in the days when I had an unpleasant job, it was those micro-moments with my peers and direct reports that kept the spirit afloat. Nowadays, that motor of love has life as one big lazy river of peace.
Monday, October 28, 2013
7 Weird Reasons You're Tired
By Cindy Kuzma, Prevention magazine:
You stayed up late binge-watching Homeland. Then you woke up extra early to beat the boss to the office. Some days, there's no mystery as to why you need an extra shot of espresso (and if you can't sleep no matter what you try, check out these 10 sleep myths and real solutions for better shuteye.)
A challenging puzzle, yes, but your fatigue is a mystery you can solve. Here are 7 reasons you could be dragging--and how to regain more energy than you ever remember having.
You're dehydrated
Healthy women who failed to replace a mere 1.5% of their water weight experienced mood swings and low energy levels, according to a 2012 study in The Journal of Nutrition. The study authors suspect neurons in your hypothalamus--the brain region responsible for controlling things like hydration and body temperature--send mood-altering messages to the rest of your brain as an early warning to drink more water.
Your fix: Drink up, and and ditch that 8-glasses-a-day guideline: A one-size-fits-all water measurement won't work since your hydration needs vary based on things like the weather and your workouts. In general, you should have to pee at least once every three hours and your urine should have a light lemonade-colored tint, says Gina Sirchio, DC, CCN, a chiropractic physician and nutritionist at the LaGrange Institute of Health in Chicago.
You're low on B12
Your body needs vitamin B12 to make red blood cells and keep neurons functioning properly. Deficiency decreases the amount of oxygen your blood can carry through your body, leaving you with that sleeping-with-your-eyes-open feeling. As you age, you produce less of a protein called intrinsic factor, which helps you process the nutrient.
Because only animal foods naturally contain B12, vegetarians and vegans face an elevated risk of running low, as do people who've had stomach or intestinal surgeries (these procedures often alter the tissue where B12 absorption takes place, Dr. Sirchio says). Even low or borderline levels--not necessarily full-blown deficiency--can wear you down.
Your fix: If your fatigue comes along with forgetfulness, restless legs, or numbness and tingling, consider B12 deficiency as a potential culprit. Ask your doctor or nutritionist for a blood test of your levels. If you're low, you may need supplements. Your doctor will tell you how much to take, but typical doses range from 100 to 500 mcg. Choose a formula labeled "methylcobalomin" instead of "cyanocobalamin," Dr. Sirchio says--it's easier for your body to use. Note that supplements will only boost your energy if you're low to begin with; unlike caffeine, B vitamins won't give you an added oomph if you already have ample stores.
You're overwhelmed with stress
Trying to do it all comes with a huge downside. Normally, your levels of the stress hormone cortisol run highest in the morning and dip down at night, helping you maintain a normal daily rhythm. But chronic stress throws this pattern out of whack in either direction, says Marc Bubbs, ND, CSCS, founder of Naturopathic Sports Medicine in Toronto. If your body remains on constant alert, your cortisol levels may never fall off at night, disrupting your sleep. Or, your adrenal glands may eventually fall behind in cortisol production, leaving you sleepwalking through your morning.
Your fix: You can't always control the sources of stress, but you can change your reaction. Mindfulness practices have been shown to ease stress and fatigue in people with chronic medical conditions like rheumatoid arthritis and multiple sclerosis, and they work for healthy people, too. Can't spare 15 minutes a day to meditate? No problem. Click here to find the best style of meditation for you (it's simpler than you think!)
You have hidden heart disease
In a study in the journal Heart & Lung, half of women who had heart attacks said they had trouble sleeping and felt unusually fatigued in the weeks beforehand. Weariness and shortness of breath when you exercise, climb stairs, or otherwise exert yourself should also raise a red flag, Dr. Hussain says. Blocked arteries or a weak heart muscle reduce blood flow, preventing your muscles and tissues from getting the oxygen they need to function properly.
Your fix: Get to the doctor, especially if you've suddenly lost your get-up-and-go or if you have other strange symptoms, such as chest pain, anxiety, or trouble concentrating. He or she may recommend a stress test or an echocardiogram to screen for heart disease, Dr. Hussain says.
Your iron levels are too low--or too high
Most women know anemia leads to fatigue. But don't assume popping iron supplements will pep you up. Yes, low iron levels lead to poorly formed red blood cells that deprive your body of refreshing oxygen. However, getting too much iron can wear you down as well. Your body uses vitamins, minerals, and energy to rid your system of the excess, leaving you with little left to run on, says Dr. Sirchio.
Your fix: Consider your risk factors: Iron deficiency often strikes vegetarians and vegans, people with digestive diseases or thyroid problems, women on hormonal birth control, and those with a very heavy menstrual flow. On the flip side, high levels can run in families or result from taking supplements, and often cause other signs that include feeling cold, thinning hair and nails, or dizziness when you stand up. Striking the right balance is important, so don't take iron pills on your own, Dr. Sirchio warns--talk with your doctor about yearly blood tests to check your levels. If they're abnormal, have them checked monthly until they level off, then every three to six months until you steadily see normal readings.
You're not working out
Especially when paired with chronic stress, too much time spent sedentary drains your fuel tank even though you're merely idling, Dr. Bubbs says. Picture it: A stressful day at work cranks up your cortisol and blood glucose levels, triggering your knee jerk reaction to fight or flee. But when you spend your afternoon and evening barely moving between your computer screen and your couch, you never release that energy and tension. This can keep your engine revved and disrupt your sleep at night--or burn out your body's cortisol factory so much that you're dragging the next morning.
Your fix: Start moving if you're sedentary. Women who get the government-recommended 150 minutes of moderate exercise or 75 minutes of vigorous activity per week report less fatigue and more energy and vigor than those who don't, according to a recent study in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise. If you're using exercise to help you sleep better, give your new regimen time to take hold-another study in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine found you'll need to move consistently for a few weeks or even months to reap the restful benefits. Download our 14 Walking Workouts That Burn Fat And Boost Energy for a plan to get started.
You're exercising too much
On the flip side, you can have too much of a good thing. If you're sweating every day or doing heavy-duty training for an event like a triathlon, fatigue and trouble sleeping can serve as a sign that you're pushing your body beyond its limits. Workouts--and especially endurance sports like long-distance running and cycling--also cause a spike in cortisol. If you're not striking the right balance between activity and rest, you can overload your system with physical stress just as you can with emotional or mental pressure, Dr. Bubbs points out.
Your fix: If you're exercising regularly but suddenly tire more easily, you may be overreaching. Try taking a few days of complete rest. Then ease back into your routine, doing about 25% of your usual activity for a week and adding another 25% each week until you're back up to speed, advises Tom Holland, MS, CSCS, 21-time Ironman Triathlete and author of The Marathon Method.
You have a urinary tract infection
If you've had a UTI before, you know the burning urgency that comes when you pee. But about half of women who show up with UTIs also report fatigue and a general sense of illness, and the rate increases among those 40 or older, says Ashley Carroll, MD, an assistant professor of urogynecology at Virginia Commonwealth University. "Basically, it's your body's way of forcing you to rest in order to focus energy on fighting the infection," Dr. Carroll says.
Your fix: Head to the doctor if you suspect a UTI. Prescription antibiotics can banish the bacteria. All your symptoms, including fatigue, should subside within seven to 10 days of completing treatment. As you're healing, get plenty of rest, stay hydrated, and eat a healthy diet, Dr. Carroll advises. If you're prone to frequent UTIs (more than a couple per year) talk with your doctor--long-term prophylactic antibiotics can ward off future infections.
You stayed up late binge-watching Homeland. Then you woke up extra early to beat the boss to the office. Some days, there's no mystery as to why you need an extra shot of espresso (and if you can't sleep no matter what you try, check out these 10 sleep myths and real solutions for better shuteye.)
But sometimes, the root of your fatigue isn't so obvious, and everything from a hidden health issue to your gym habits could be to blame. "It's like asking a pediatrician why a baby is crying; the answer could be any number of things," says Tanvir Hussain, MD, a preventive cardiologist in Los Angeles.
A challenging puzzle, yes, but your fatigue is a mystery you can solve. Here are 7 reasons you could be dragging--and how to regain more energy than you ever remember having.
You're dehydrated
Healthy women who failed to replace a mere 1.5% of their water weight experienced mood swings and low energy levels, according to a 2012 study in The Journal of Nutrition. The study authors suspect neurons in your hypothalamus--the brain region responsible for controlling things like hydration and body temperature--send mood-altering messages to the rest of your brain as an early warning to drink more water.
Your fix: Drink up, and and ditch that 8-glasses-a-day guideline: A one-size-fits-all water measurement won't work since your hydration needs vary based on things like the weather and your workouts. In general, you should have to pee at least once every three hours and your urine should have a light lemonade-colored tint, says Gina Sirchio, DC, CCN, a chiropractic physician and nutritionist at the LaGrange Institute of Health in Chicago.
You're low on B12
Your body needs vitamin B12 to make red blood cells and keep neurons functioning properly. Deficiency decreases the amount of oxygen your blood can carry through your body, leaving you with that sleeping-with-your-eyes-open feeling. As you age, you produce less of a protein called intrinsic factor, which helps you process the nutrient.
Because only animal foods naturally contain B12, vegetarians and vegans face an elevated risk of running low, as do people who've had stomach or intestinal surgeries (these procedures often alter the tissue where B12 absorption takes place, Dr. Sirchio says). Even low or borderline levels--not necessarily full-blown deficiency--can wear you down.
Your fix: If your fatigue comes along with forgetfulness, restless legs, or numbness and tingling, consider B12 deficiency as a potential culprit. Ask your doctor or nutritionist for a blood test of your levels. If you're low, you may need supplements. Your doctor will tell you how much to take, but typical doses range from 100 to 500 mcg. Choose a formula labeled "methylcobalomin" instead of "cyanocobalamin," Dr. Sirchio says--it's easier for your body to use. Note that supplements will only boost your energy if you're low to begin with; unlike caffeine, B vitamins won't give you an added oomph if you already have ample stores.
You're overwhelmed with stress
Trying to do it all comes with a huge downside. Normally, your levels of the stress hormone cortisol run highest in the morning and dip down at night, helping you maintain a normal daily rhythm. But chronic stress throws this pattern out of whack in either direction, says Marc Bubbs, ND, CSCS, founder of Naturopathic Sports Medicine in Toronto. If your body remains on constant alert, your cortisol levels may never fall off at night, disrupting your sleep. Or, your adrenal glands may eventually fall behind in cortisol production, leaving you sleepwalking through your morning.
You have hidden heart disease
In a study in the journal Heart & Lung, half of women who had heart attacks said they had trouble sleeping and felt unusually fatigued in the weeks beforehand. Weariness and shortness of breath when you exercise, climb stairs, or otherwise exert yourself should also raise a red flag, Dr. Hussain says. Blocked arteries or a weak heart muscle reduce blood flow, preventing your muscles and tissues from getting the oxygen they need to function properly.
Your iron levels are too low--or too high
Most women know anemia leads to fatigue. But don't assume popping iron supplements will pep you up. Yes, low iron levels lead to poorly formed red blood cells that deprive your body of refreshing oxygen. However, getting too much iron can wear you down as well. Your body uses vitamins, minerals, and energy to rid your system of the excess, leaving you with little left to run on, says Dr. Sirchio.
Your fix: Consider your risk factors: Iron deficiency often strikes vegetarians and vegans, people with digestive diseases or thyroid problems, women on hormonal birth control, and those with a very heavy menstrual flow. On the flip side, high levels can run in families or result from taking supplements, and often cause other signs that include feeling cold, thinning hair and nails, or dizziness when you stand up. Striking the right balance is important, so don't take iron pills on your own, Dr. Sirchio warns--talk with your doctor about yearly blood tests to check your levels. If they're abnormal, have them checked monthly until they level off, then every three to six months until you steadily see normal readings.
You're not working out
Especially when paired with chronic stress, too much time spent sedentary drains your fuel tank even though you're merely idling, Dr. Bubbs says. Picture it: A stressful day at work cranks up your cortisol and blood glucose levels, triggering your knee jerk reaction to fight or flee. But when you spend your afternoon and evening barely moving between your computer screen and your couch, you never release that energy and tension. This can keep your engine revved and disrupt your sleep at night--or burn out your body's cortisol factory so much that you're dragging the next morning.
Your fix: Start moving if you're sedentary. Women who get the government-recommended 150 minutes of moderate exercise or 75 minutes of vigorous activity per week report less fatigue and more energy and vigor than those who don't, according to a recent study in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise. If you're using exercise to help you sleep better, give your new regimen time to take hold-another study in the Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine found you'll need to move consistently for a few weeks or even months to reap the restful benefits. Download our 14 Walking Workouts That Burn Fat And Boost Energy for a plan to get started.
You're exercising too much
On the flip side, you can have too much of a good thing. If you're sweating every day or doing heavy-duty training for an event like a triathlon, fatigue and trouble sleeping can serve as a sign that you're pushing your body beyond its limits. Workouts--and especially endurance sports like long-distance running and cycling--also cause a spike in cortisol. If you're not striking the right balance between activity and rest, you can overload your system with physical stress just as you can with emotional or mental pressure, Dr. Bubbs points out.
Your fix: If you're exercising regularly but suddenly tire more easily, you may be overreaching. Try taking a few days of complete rest. Then ease back into your routine, doing about 25% of your usual activity for a week and adding another 25% each week until you're back up to speed, advises Tom Holland, MS, CSCS, 21-time Ironman Triathlete and author of The Marathon Method.
You have a urinary tract infection
If you've had a UTI before, you know the burning urgency that comes when you pee. But about half of women who show up with UTIs also report fatigue and a general sense of illness, and the rate increases among those 40 or older, says Ashley Carroll, MD, an assistant professor of urogynecology at Virginia Commonwealth University. "Basically, it's your body's way of forcing you to rest in order to focus energy on fighting the infection," Dr. Carroll says.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
California Streaming: The Week In Thanks
We started out the week a little closer to paradise, at least weather-wise, with Jack and his girlfriend Kate in Santa Monica California. It was our first time to the West Coast since our honeymoon, and the Pacific Ocean kept things as temperate as we remembered it.
Jack and Kate were a happy couple. He pitched a couple of winning softball games, gave us a tour of the pier and beach. They got us into a gym to work out. We took in a spectacular comedy club competition. They took great care of us, and they tell a great story of how they met.
The Pacific Ocean reminded me of how vast and uncertain the risks were when Christopher Columbus sailed across the Atlantic five hundred years ago. Knowledge of food, medicine, and navigation were much poorer. There was no guarantee of there being any land in the distance, so there was a decent chance that it was a starvation death journey. And I'm so thankful that they planted seeds that nowadays have blossomed into this great America.
Our flight to and from home was smooth. The weather cooperated with our short layovers, enabling us to leave fairly late morning and arrive early evening. Air travel has come a long way in its efficiency during the last ten years. Now that we're used to removing shoes, traveling without carry-on liquids, and bringing our own food aboard, it's easy to think of the many hours saved by the luxury of flight.
Despite taking the week of from tutoring, I ended with two more new students on the block. I may set a season high of tutoring hours by the time next week is over.
Alabama continued to roll on undefeatedly, and the Cardinals have eked out a 2-1 World Series lead. In less than a week fantasy basketball will heat up.
It's remarkable how crisis-free the last several months have been. Our families are all in stable or above health. Our home's avoided gas or water leaks, major car malfunctions. Our work has been low-stress. Compared with the poverty simulation I went through a week ago, where single parents, crime, or other random acts can lock someone into an endless loop of helplessness and struggle. A memorable phrase from the short Bible study Dena and I have been attending says:
"Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for God will be with you wherever you go."
The calmness of the summer has backed that kind of faith.
And now the calendar has turned to fall. Germs are all around, but we've been healthy. And going on dates. And mostly at peace. I heard this morning a quote that "a culture of mercy leads to a culture of life." May this upcoming week be a merciful one!
Jack and Kate were a happy couple. He pitched a couple of winning softball games, gave us a tour of the pier and beach. They got us into a gym to work out. We took in a spectacular comedy club competition. They took great care of us, and they tell a great story of how they met.
The Pacific Ocean reminded me of how vast and uncertain the risks were when Christopher Columbus sailed across the Atlantic five hundred years ago. Knowledge of food, medicine, and navigation were much poorer. There was no guarantee of there being any land in the distance, so there was a decent chance that it was a starvation death journey. And I'm so thankful that they planted seeds that nowadays have blossomed into this great America.
Our flight to and from home was smooth. The weather cooperated with our short layovers, enabling us to leave fairly late morning and arrive early evening. Air travel has come a long way in its efficiency during the last ten years. Now that we're used to removing shoes, traveling without carry-on liquids, and bringing our own food aboard, it's easy to think of the many hours saved by the luxury of flight.
Despite taking the week of from tutoring, I ended with two more new students on the block. I may set a season high of tutoring hours by the time next week is over.
Alabama continued to roll on undefeatedly, and the Cardinals have eked out a 2-1 World Series lead. In less than a week fantasy basketball will heat up.
It's remarkable how crisis-free the last several months have been. Our families are all in stable or above health. Our home's avoided gas or water leaks, major car malfunctions. Our work has been low-stress. Compared with the poverty simulation I went through a week ago, where single parents, crime, or other random acts can lock someone into an endless loop of helplessness and struggle. A memorable phrase from the short Bible study Dena and I have been attending says:
"Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for God will be with you wherever you go."
The calmness of the summer has backed that kind of faith.
And now the calendar has turned to fall. Germs are all around, but we've been healthy. And going on dates. And mostly at peace. I heard this morning a quote that "a culture of mercy leads to a culture of life." May this upcoming week be a merciful one!
Movie Review: Enough Said
Dena noted that this Julia Louis-Dreyfus and James Gandolfini (in his final role before death) has been well-reviewed by critics and fans alike online. And you can add the two of us to the list.
Those of us who will always see Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine from Seinfeld will enjoy some of the quirky comedic body tics she employed back then. However, she wraps them up in a flawed, sensitive character that's as endearing as it is funny.
I never saw Gandolfini in Sopranos, but can easily see him as a mobster. Here, though, he's a frank, earthy, mellow teddy bear.
Both are divorced parents with quick wit, and daughters about to leave for college. Neither is looking for love the night they meet at a party, but it finds them fast enough. Their romance is more like instant old friends than love at first sight, discussing humdrum topics like weeds in the lawn with a humorous touch.
Things get complicated by a new massage client of Louis-Dreyfus, and she stumbles her way into a mess, as the film's balance shifts more to drama and less toward comedy. By the end though, lessons are learned, a few teary moments pass, and life goes on well for all.
Be ready to smile often, laugh out loud occasionally, and reflect a bit on the value of marriage and honesty. You'll get what you paid for.
Those of us who will always see Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine from Seinfeld will enjoy some of the quirky comedic body tics she employed back then. However, she wraps them up in a flawed, sensitive character that's as endearing as it is funny.
I never saw Gandolfini in Sopranos, but can easily see him as a mobster. Here, though, he's a frank, earthy, mellow teddy bear.
Both are divorced parents with quick wit, and daughters about to leave for college. Neither is looking for love the night they meet at a party, but it finds them fast enough. Their romance is more like instant old friends than love at first sight, discussing humdrum topics like weeds in the lawn with a humorous touch.
Things get complicated by a new massage client of Louis-Dreyfus, and she stumbles her way into a mess, as the film's balance shifts more to drama and less toward comedy. By the end though, lessons are learned, a few teary moments pass, and life goes on well for all.
Be ready to smile often, laugh out loud occasionally, and reflect a bit on the value of marriage and honesty. You'll get what you paid for.
Being Like Homer Simpson
His only role-model virtue is his ability to see the doughnuts, not the holes. Anyone can find the shortcomings in... well, just about everything. But a soulful man finds the energies, the elations in... well, anything.
I can gladly admit, even though fall and winter are my two least favorite seasons of the year, that it's picturesque to see the first snow flakes of the season come floating down to earth. Isn't that more beautiful than, say, if it were like hail and just plopped to the ground ungracefully?
I can gladly admit, even though fall and winter are my two least favorite seasons of the year, that it's picturesque to see the first snow flakes of the season come floating down to earth. Isn't that more beautiful than, say, if it were like hail and just plopped to the ground ungracefully?
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Not Cliffs, Just Curves
"Setbacks are just part of the trip. They're curves, and they slow you down. Okay. Where's the next straightaway?"
I was due to send out a large mailing to about 75 people for Leadership McLean County. The previous night Yahoo! had reconfigured its entire mail system which looked almost completely different from what I was comfortable with. After much start-and-stop and over an hour of proofreading, I succeeded in sending the e-mail... but without a subject header. This surely doomed several of the recipients to auto-feed the crucial comments into the spam folder.
It was a virtual punch to the gut, but like most mistakes in life, was not fatal like plunging over a cliff. I did need a half hour to cool down, then attacked the problem with a fresh corrective e-mail.
Sometimes it helps to be reminded of our humanness. Personally I feel more comfortable with my leaders when they show a human side, especially if they respond to it with humility. And soon we're back on the straightaway.
I was due to send out a large mailing to about 75 people for Leadership McLean County. The previous night Yahoo! had reconfigured its entire mail system which looked almost completely different from what I was comfortable with. After much start-and-stop and over an hour of proofreading, I succeeded in sending the e-mail... but without a subject header. This surely doomed several of the recipients to auto-feed the crucial comments into the spam folder.
It was a virtual punch to the gut, but like most mistakes in life, was not fatal like plunging over a cliff. I did need a half hour to cool down, then attacked the problem with a fresh corrective e-mail.
Sometimes it helps to be reminded of our humanness. Personally I feel more comfortable with my leaders when they show a human side, especially if they respond to it with humility. And soon we're back on the straightaway.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Be Like Water
"If water runs into an obstacle, it finds its fluid way around or under whatever it takes - it's clever. And if a man adapts, adjusts, and calls audibles, he too can carve the Snake River Canyon."
It is possible to be goal-driven and yet fluid? Absolutely! The chute directly in front of us may look like the right one, and it may be to the extent that it leads us to the next one. But in the end the only thing we know for sure is that our current path will be different than we anticipate. Once we settle in to that reality, we can ride the waves.
It is possible to be goal-driven and yet fluid? Absolutely! The chute directly in front of us may look like the right one, and it may be to the extent that it leads us to the next one. But in the end the only thing we know for sure is that our current path will be different than we anticipate. Once we settle in to that reality, we can ride the waves.
Stepping Into The Lightness
On the court and in life, 11-time champion basketball coach Phil Jackson said:
"You can't be out there with a veneer or a shield. You have to be a receptive person. So you're ready to adjust or react to any situation."
"It's the lightness about your attitude, more than the intensity of your work ethic, that makes the team better."
That's not to say that work ethic isn't foundational to successful living. From Bill Gates to Mother Teresa to Abraham Lincoln to the Beatles, there are countless examples of winning through devoted and often thankless effort. In the end though, people respond to those who meet them on their level. It's not what you know that makes the difference; it's who you care about.
"You can't be out there with a veneer or a shield. You have to be a receptive person. So you're ready to adjust or react to any situation."
"It's the lightness about your attitude, more than the intensity of your work ethic, that makes the team better."
That's not to say that work ethic isn't foundational to successful living. From Bill Gates to Mother Teresa to Abraham Lincoln to the Beatles, there are countless examples of winning through devoted and often thankless effort. In the end though, people respond to those who meet them on their level. It's not what you know that makes the difference; it's who you care about.
Santa Monica Photos
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| Ah, vacation with on the beaches of Santa Monica Pier! |
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| We took a walk in Palisades Park! So beautiful! |
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| Nearby was another park called Sad Park. It was not so beautiful. |
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Finished Beats Perfect
"Who doesn't have a thousand ideas that will make us rich, enhance the world, or just be fun? Fail as quickly as you can so you can get opinions that help. A rough prototype is better than the one you'll get around to any decade now."
In other words, don't suffer analysis paralysis. I got another invitation to tutor an accounting student this week. I'm no master accountant, but I know that if I tutor him:
1. I'll do some things well.
2. I'll do some things wrong.
3. I'll get better.
Two out of three ain't bad! In fact there's often no #3 without #2. Who knows, maybe some day I'll become the premier accounting tutor in the city. When hoops are in front of you, take a quick peek to make sure it doesn't lead to a bottomless chasm - and then jump.
In other words, don't suffer analysis paralysis. I got another invitation to tutor an accounting student this week. I'm no master accountant, but I know that if I tutor him:
1. I'll do some things well.
2. I'll do some things wrong.
3. I'll get better.
Two out of three ain't bad! In fact there's often no #3 without #2. Who knows, maybe some day I'll become the premier accounting tutor in the city. When hoops are in front of you, take a quick peek to make sure it doesn't lead to a bottomless chasm - and then jump.
Embracing Humanness
"Don't insist that everything make sense. If you attempt to understand human beings, if you expect them to always behave rationally, then you'll go through life crabby and vexed. But if instead you can savor their odd, confounding humanness, then you just might enjoy the spectacle that we are."
About once a week one of my tutoring students simply fails to show without notice. It's a different student usually. Often one of my newer ones, soon to be one of my former ones. Why? Not everyone sees it as courtesy to give a heads-up. I wish it were otherwise. But everyone's values are different. So I bring a plan B along to as many situations as I can. Many times it's a good book, or some calendar updating, or something else to pass the time. It's when we live life on the narrow, with a singular tunnel vision for how things are supposed to be, that stress can rise and energy can drain.
About once a week one of my tutoring students simply fails to show without notice. It's a different student usually. Often one of my newer ones, soon to be one of my former ones. Why? Not everyone sees it as courtesy to give a heads-up. I wish it were otherwise. But everyone's values are different. So I bring a plan B along to as many situations as I can. Many times it's a good book, or some calendar updating, or something else to pass the time. It's when we live life on the narrow, with a singular tunnel vision for how things are supposed to be, that stress can rise and energy can drain.
Movie Review: The Internship
This was our in-flight movie on the way home from California. It was the perfect quality for an in-flight movie.
Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson are two out-of-work watch salesmen trying to straighten out their lives. They decide to apply for an unpaid internship at Google after noticing the awesome benefits of working there. How can two fortysomethings hope to compete for such techie jobs? Comically, as it turns out. They band with a group of other misfits to show how well teamwork and sales skills can overcome the lack of technical skill.
If you enjoy party scenes, then click this up one more notch on your excito-meter. This is just slightly a romantic comedy, but much more so a slapstick/goofy one, complete with an Indian-accented boss and an English-accented villian.
Cameos by Will Ferrell and they guy who played Ryan on The Office.
Check it out sometime when you've got nowhere to go, and could use an amused smile to kill time while you chill out.
Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson are two out-of-work watch salesmen trying to straighten out their lives. They decide to apply for an unpaid internship at Google after noticing the awesome benefits of working there. How can two fortysomethings hope to compete for such techie jobs? Comically, as it turns out. They band with a group of other misfits to show how well teamwork and sales skills can overcome the lack of technical skill.
If you enjoy party scenes, then click this up one more notch on your excito-meter. This is just slightly a romantic comedy, but much more so a slapstick/goofy one, complete with an Indian-accented boss and an English-accented villian.
Cameos by Will Ferrell and they guy who played Ryan on The Office.
Check it out sometime when you've got nowhere to go, and could use an amused smile to kill time while you chill out.
Evaluating Is Like Perfume
"Evaluating is like perfume; a little goes a long way and it's best to apply it in key spots." - Ross MacDonald
The right words and timing matter during evaluation.
Right: "Good job!"
Better: "Good job moving those variables to the other side of the equation!"
Wrong: "You're a genius!"
It's usually better to praise the work than the person in a professional situation.
Right: "We really got away from our plan for the day."
Wrong: "You're really off track right now."
It's often more effective to critique the situation than the person. If it's really the person's responsibility, they either know it already, or they'll never know it.
The right words and timing matter during evaluation.
Right: "Good job!"
Better: "Good job moving those variables to the other side of the equation!"
Wrong: "You're a genius!"
It's usually better to praise the work than the person in a professional situation.
Right: "We really got away from our plan for the day."
Wrong: "You're really off track right now."
It's often more effective to critique the situation than the person. If it's really the person's responsibility, they either know it already, or they'll never know it.
Chad Pregracke's Crusade To Clean Up America
A former student of Heartland Community College!
http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/18/us/cnnheroes-pregracke-rivers-garbage/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/18/us/cnnheroes-pregracke-rivers-garbage/index.html?hpt=hp_t2
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Why Firstborn Kids Are Successful
By Sarah Weir of Yahoo! Shine:
A new study indicates that first-born children perform better in school and also suggests why. It's not that they are smarter or have higher self-esteem, but that their parents are tougher on them. "People shouldn't feel limited because they are the second or third child," V. Joseph Host of Duke University, tells Yahoo Shine. "Yes, there are birth order patterns to what we accomplish, but these accomplishments are influenced by many different factors, including how we are raised by our parents." Host co-authored the paper with Juan Patano of Washington University.
The authors, who are both economists, looked at data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth,
which surveyed more than 12,000 participants. The study controlled
gender, divorce, family size, and other factors that might have
influenced the outcomes. They found that parents of earlier-born
children were harder on them when they brought home poor grades than
they were with later-born children. Parents were also more lax with
their rules for their younger kids when it came to television watching,
video games, and other activities that might diminish time dedicated to
homework. The study found that the oldest child in a family of four is
significantly more likely to "face daily homework monitoring relative to
the last born in that family." As a result, oldest children were more
likely to be at the top of their classes and the youngest more likely to
be at the bottom.
What's also interesting is that the survey found that parents took a tougher approach because they were trying to establish their reputation as a disciplinarian. Once they felt their tough-love style had been established with the first child, they had the tendency to slack off.
Susan Whitebourne, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, says she appreciates the study's approach because it's focusing on the role of the parent rather than something intrinsic to a child. "There is so much that's written on birth order that seems very deterministic," she tells Yahoo Shine. "There is the tendency for parents to assume that the oldest is going to be better in school, so they put that expectation on them."
The fascination with birth order and its effect on personality and success goes back more than 100 years, when Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud, first theorized that birth order has an inherent role in shaping personality and classified characteristics of first-, second-, and last-born children as well as only children and twins. To simplify, he characterized oldest children as attention seekers who were confused about their place after being usurped by their siblings. Middle children were competitive and in their adult lives needed to feel superior because they had successfully won their parents' attention and also had authority over their younger siblings.
As for youngest children, he described them as being overprotected and prone to feeling inferior.
Since Adler's era, there have been more than 1,000 scholarly articles and many books published on the topic. The result of such intense interest is that today, the idea of birth-order-influenced traits has become codified – almost like one's zodiac sign. At the same time, because people believe so strongly in the significance of birth order, they impose stereotypes on their children, which become self-fulfilling. The eldest is pushed to be a high achiever, the youngest is babied, and so on.
A 2012 review looked at 200 studies on the topic and found that certain themes did emerge in defining the characteristics of people depending on when they were born. According to their tabulation of the data:
First-born children are often highly motivated, Type A personalities who are vulnerable to stress. They are the most conformist and influenced by authority.
Middle children are sociable and least prone to "acting out." They can also exhibit feelings of being an outsider.
Youngest children show the highest degree of sociability and empathy. They are also the most rebellious.
Only children have a strong need to achieve, are intelligent, and exhibit the most behavioral problems.
But, Whitebourne stresses that birth order is not destiny. She encourages parents to look at their own biases and nurture each of their individual children's strengths. That might mean letting your eldest child's grades slide on occasion and telling your youngest to turn off the TV and hit the books.
A new study indicates that first-born children perform better in school and also suggests why. It's not that they are smarter or have higher self-esteem, but that their parents are tougher on them. "People shouldn't feel limited because they are the second or third child," V. Joseph Host of Duke University, tells Yahoo Shine. "Yes, there are birth order patterns to what we accomplish, but these accomplishments are influenced by many different factors, including how we are raised by our parents." Host co-authored the paper with Juan Patano of Washington University.
What's also interesting is that the survey found that parents took a tougher approach because they were trying to establish their reputation as a disciplinarian. Once they felt their tough-love style had been established with the first child, they had the tendency to slack off.
Susan Whitebourne, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, says she appreciates the study's approach because it's focusing on the role of the parent rather than something intrinsic to a child. "There is so much that's written on birth order that seems very deterministic," she tells Yahoo Shine. "There is the tendency for parents to assume that the oldest is going to be better in school, so they put that expectation on them."
The fascination with birth order and its effect on personality and success goes back more than 100 years, when Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler, a contemporary of Sigmund Freud, first theorized that birth order has an inherent role in shaping personality and classified characteristics of first-, second-, and last-born children as well as only children and twins. To simplify, he characterized oldest children as attention seekers who were confused about their place after being usurped by their siblings. Middle children were competitive and in their adult lives needed to feel superior because they had successfully won their parents' attention and also had authority over their younger siblings.
As for youngest children, he described them as being overprotected and prone to feeling inferior.
Since Adler's era, there have been more than 1,000 scholarly articles and many books published on the topic. The result of such intense interest is that today, the idea of birth-order-influenced traits has become codified – almost like one's zodiac sign. At the same time, because people believe so strongly in the significance of birth order, they impose stereotypes on their children, which become self-fulfilling. The eldest is pushed to be a high achiever, the youngest is babied, and so on.
A 2012 review looked at 200 studies on the topic and found that certain themes did emerge in defining the characteristics of people depending on when they were born. According to their tabulation of the data:
First-born children are often highly motivated, Type A personalities who are vulnerable to stress. They are the most conformist and influenced by authority.
Middle children are sociable and least prone to "acting out." They can also exhibit feelings of being an outsider.
Youngest children show the highest degree of sociability and empathy. They are also the most rebellious.
Only children have a strong need to achieve, are intelligent, and exhibit the most behavioral problems.
But, Whitebourne stresses that birth order is not destiny. She encourages parents to look at their own biases and nurture each of their individual children's strengths. That might mean letting your eldest child's grades slide on occasion and telling your youngest to turn off the TV and hit the books.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
How Criticism Creates Innovative Teams
From the Harvard Business Review:
It’s tough to find examples of successfully challenging the boss, even tougher to find stories of leaders who specifically ask to be challenged. The most common is a tale of Alfred P. Sloan at General Motors. During a meeting in which GM’s top management team was considering a weighty decision, Sloan closed the meeting by asking.” “Gentlemen, I take it we are all in complete agreement on the decision here?” Sloan then waited as each member of the assembled committee nodded in agreement. Sloan continued, “Then, I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understanding of what this decision is about.”
What Sloan was looking for was something many of us seek to eliminate: dissent. There’s a lot of discussion on how leaders ought to cast a vision, gain buy-in, or steer a group to consensus. There’s a lot less discussion on how leaders ought to cultivate a culture that values the right kind of criticism.
That criticism is what Sloan was looking for, and what research tells us we need in order to make the best decision.
When ideas are still being developed or decisions still being considered, criticism and constructive conflict are vital to testing the value of the ideas and helping increase that value. Conflict is an indicator that diverse viewpoints are being considered and that the competition for ideas is still ongoing. During this competition, ideas are strengthened through further research, consideration or through the blending of different ideas into one stronger concept. By contrast, when everyone in a group always agrees, it can indicate that the group doesn’t have very many ideas, or that they value agreement more than quality suggestions.
In one study of conflict and decision-making, participants were divided into three experimental conditions (control, brainstorming, and debate) and formed into teams within those conditions. Each team was tasked with generating ideas for the same challenge: how to reduce traffic congestion in the San Francisco Bay area. The “control” teams were given no further instructions and told to develop as many ideas as possible. The “brainstorming” teams were given the traditional set of brainstorming rules, chief among those rules was the notion that all judgment should be suspended and no idea criticized or debated. The final, “debate” teams were given a set of rules similar to the “brainstorming” teams but with one important difference. Instead of deferring judgment, they were told to debate and criticize others’ ideas as they were generated.
When the results were calculated, the winners were clear. While teams in the brainstorming condition did generate more ideas than the teams given no instructions, it was the teams in the debate condition that outperformed the rest, producing an average of 25 percent more ideas than the other two conditions in the same period of time. Even after the teams had disbanded, the influence of criticism on generating ideas continued. In follow-up interviews with each subject, researchers asked the participants if they had any more ideas for solving the traffic problem. Each participant from the control and brainstorming conditions did have one or two more ideas, but participants in the debate condition gave an average of seven additional ideas per person. Teams that utilized conflict in their process consistently outperformed teams that focused on cohesion. In a summary of the study’s results, the researchers write “Our findings show that debate and criticism do not inhibit ideas but, rather, stimulate them relative to every other condition.” The researchers had discovered what Sloan seemed to already know, that cultivating criticism and dissent could yield more quantity of ideas, and that quantity could help make better quality decisions.
Sloan wasn’t the first to recognize that dissent and criticism could help strengthen decision. One organization has been doing it for centuries: the Catholic Church. Starting with Pope Sixtus V in 1587, the Catholic Church assigned one special dissenter to find and present reasons for why nominated candidates should not be canonized as saints. This person was referred to as the Defender of the Faith, or more commonly the “Devil’s Advocate.” Taking special care to consider a dissenting view provided an alternative perspective that strengthened their decisions. From 1857 to 1983, when the Devil’s Advocate policy was removed, 98 individuals were named saints. From 1983 until today, over 500 hundred people have been granted sainthood. While it’s difficult to compare the quality of decisions before and after the reform, the impact of the policy on the Church’s decision-making process is clear.
If assigning a lone dissenter to be the bearer of bad tidings may not suit your team, consider the technique used by a notable but vastly different organization: Pixar. During the long process of creating a blockbuster film, the teams at Pixar rely on criticism to make their work stronger. To keep the benefits of criticism without the negativism, Pixar uses an idea called “plussing.” Plussing means that anytime someone comments on another work, that comment must contain a “plus” — a way to improve or build on the work. Plussing gives the director or animator something they need besides just a critique, it gives them a place to build from and improve their work. Through plussing, Pixar has found a formula for keeping criticism positive, while positively improving the quality of their work.
Whether you rely on centuries old techniques like the devil’s advocate, new methods such as plussing, or just choose to postpone meetings until someone brings in a counterpoint, your teams will make better decisions when you cultivate a little positive criticism.
It’s tough to find examples of successfully challenging the boss, even tougher to find stories of leaders who specifically ask to be challenged. The most common is a tale of Alfred P. Sloan at General Motors. During a meeting in which GM’s top management team was considering a weighty decision, Sloan closed the meeting by asking.” “Gentlemen, I take it we are all in complete agreement on the decision here?” Sloan then waited as each member of the assembled committee nodded in agreement. Sloan continued, “Then, I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until our next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement and perhaps gain some understanding of what this decision is about.”
What Sloan was looking for was something many of us seek to eliminate: dissent. There’s a lot of discussion on how leaders ought to cast a vision, gain buy-in, or steer a group to consensus. There’s a lot less discussion on how leaders ought to cultivate a culture that values the right kind of criticism.
That criticism is what Sloan was looking for, and what research tells us we need in order to make the best decision.
When ideas are still being developed or decisions still being considered, criticism and constructive conflict are vital to testing the value of the ideas and helping increase that value. Conflict is an indicator that diverse viewpoints are being considered and that the competition for ideas is still ongoing. During this competition, ideas are strengthened through further research, consideration or through the blending of different ideas into one stronger concept. By contrast, when everyone in a group always agrees, it can indicate that the group doesn’t have very many ideas, or that they value agreement more than quality suggestions.
In one study of conflict and decision-making, participants were divided into three experimental conditions (control, brainstorming, and debate) and formed into teams within those conditions. Each team was tasked with generating ideas for the same challenge: how to reduce traffic congestion in the San Francisco Bay area. The “control” teams were given no further instructions and told to develop as many ideas as possible. The “brainstorming” teams were given the traditional set of brainstorming rules, chief among those rules was the notion that all judgment should be suspended and no idea criticized or debated. The final, “debate” teams were given a set of rules similar to the “brainstorming” teams but with one important difference. Instead of deferring judgment, they were told to debate and criticize others’ ideas as they were generated.
When the results were calculated, the winners were clear. While teams in the brainstorming condition did generate more ideas than the teams given no instructions, it was the teams in the debate condition that outperformed the rest, producing an average of 25 percent more ideas than the other two conditions in the same period of time. Even after the teams had disbanded, the influence of criticism on generating ideas continued. In follow-up interviews with each subject, researchers asked the participants if they had any more ideas for solving the traffic problem. Each participant from the control and brainstorming conditions did have one or two more ideas, but participants in the debate condition gave an average of seven additional ideas per person. Teams that utilized conflict in their process consistently outperformed teams that focused on cohesion. In a summary of the study’s results, the researchers write “Our findings show that debate and criticism do not inhibit ideas but, rather, stimulate them relative to every other condition.” The researchers had discovered what Sloan seemed to already know, that cultivating criticism and dissent could yield more quantity of ideas, and that quantity could help make better quality decisions.
Sloan wasn’t the first to recognize that dissent and criticism could help strengthen decision. One organization has been doing it for centuries: the Catholic Church. Starting with Pope Sixtus V in 1587, the Catholic Church assigned one special dissenter to find and present reasons for why nominated candidates should not be canonized as saints. This person was referred to as the Defender of the Faith, or more commonly the “Devil’s Advocate.” Taking special care to consider a dissenting view provided an alternative perspective that strengthened their decisions. From 1857 to 1983, when the Devil’s Advocate policy was removed, 98 individuals were named saints. From 1983 until today, over 500 hundred people have been granted sainthood. While it’s difficult to compare the quality of decisions before and after the reform, the impact of the policy on the Church’s decision-making process is clear.
If assigning a lone dissenter to be the bearer of bad tidings may not suit your team, consider the technique used by a notable but vastly different organization: Pixar. During the long process of creating a blockbuster film, the teams at Pixar rely on criticism to make their work stronger. To keep the benefits of criticism without the negativism, Pixar uses an idea called “plussing.” Plussing means that anytime someone comments on another work, that comment must contain a “plus” — a way to improve or build on the work. Plussing gives the director or animator something they need besides just a critique, it gives them a place to build from and improve their work. Through plussing, Pixar has found a formula for keeping criticism positive, while positively improving the quality of their work.
Whether you rely on centuries old techniques like the devil’s advocate, new methods such as plussing, or just choose to postpone meetings until someone brings in a counterpoint, your teams will make better decisions when you cultivate a little positive criticism.
Rising With Thoughts
"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think." - Benjamin Disraeli
"Great" doesn't have to be splitting the atom, running the town council, or starting a homeless shelter.
"Great" can be much simpler - to find any noble unmet need out there which you might be able to fill.
It could be to convert yourself from an energy drain into an energy source.
It could be to learn the stories of Mother Teresa or any person with great integrity and fame that came as a mere by-product of their selflessness. Maybe it will be contagious.
"Great" doesn't have to be splitting the atom, running the town council, or starting a homeless shelter.
"Great" can be much simpler - to find any noble unmet need out there which you might be able to fill.
It could be to convert yourself from an energy drain into an energy source.
It could be to learn the stories of Mother Teresa or any person with great integrity and fame that came as a mere by-product of their selflessness. Maybe it will be contagious.
The Real Scorecard
"A win or loss does not make you or me a better or worse human being."
Have you ever really, truly been defeated as long as you are able to keep a smile on your face?
Baseball star Mariano Rivera surrendered some devastating runs in his career, some series-losing runs. And in the end, he was regarded by many as the greatest player of his position all-time.
Why?
Because even these world-renowned examples of "failure" didn't weigh him down, or distract him from who he is. No doubt he slept a little more poorly that night, but a lifetime of accumulating hard work and humility stamped him as one of the ultimate winners as a person - the true game of life.
Have you ever really, truly been defeated as long as you are able to keep a smile on your face?
Baseball star Mariano Rivera surrendered some devastating runs in his career, some series-losing runs. And in the end, he was regarded by many as the greatest player of his position all-time.
Why?
Because even these world-renowned examples of "failure" didn't weigh him down, or distract him from who he is. No doubt he slept a little more poorly that night, but a lifetime of accumulating hard work and humility stamped him as one of the ultimate winners as a person - the true game of life.
How To Do What You Want
If you do the things you need to do
When you need to do them,
Someday you can do the things you want to do
When you want to do them!
What needs to be done to achieve?
To know where you want to go, for one. Even if only for a month or a week. Somewhere better than today. What does that look like?
To wake up with that destination in mind. To decide on one thing that will move in that direction.
And then, to act.
It's surprising how quickly momentum can build once it starts. Accomplishment gives birth to more, develops a taste for more. If the vision is to someday do what you want, then you are giving yourself the best chance to do that. Because to do nothing is to gain nothing.
When you need to do them,
Someday you can do the things you want to do
When you want to do them!
What needs to be done to achieve?
To know where you want to go, for one. Even if only for a month or a week. Somewhere better than today. What does that look like?
To wake up with that destination in mind. To decide on one thing that will move in that direction.
And then, to act.
It's surprising how quickly momentum can build once it starts. Accomplishment gives birth to more, develops a taste for more. If the vision is to someday do what you want, then you are giving yourself the best chance to do that. Because to do nothing is to gain nothing.
Adding Value
"My professional goal is to add value to people's lives every day." - John Maxwell
Teaching's a rewarding profession for that reason. Each problem solved builds knowledge, adds confidence, moves someone toward graduation and life.
And then there are the personal opportunities to say thank you, tidy something up, carry something. Lifting spirits adds value.
Teaching's a rewarding profession for that reason. Each problem solved builds knowledge, adds confidence, moves someone toward graduation and life.
And then there are the personal opportunities to say thank you, tidy something up, carry something. Lifting spirits adds value.
Winning When The Clock Runs Out
"If the game of life ended tonight, would you be a winner?" - Bobby Richardson, World Series MVP
How do we measure success? What would make today a success?
In the short run, it could be ten minutes of quiet reflection followed by attacking whatever's at the top of your to-do list. For example, sharing long-overdue blog posts.
Now's a good time to start inching - no, leaping - toward a well-deserved night of sleep by day's end.
How do we measure success? What would make today a success?
In the short run, it could be ten minutes of quiet reflection followed by attacking whatever's at the top of your to-do list. For example, sharing long-overdue blog posts.
Now's a good time to start inching - no, leaping - toward a well-deserved night of sleep by day's end.
Thou Shalt Be Grateful
"You can't be a top notch person unless you're deeply grateful. A person in full appreciates the twist of fate that makes him or her so strong, alert, equipped, so good to go. And then lives the appreciation, by using it all."
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
5 Things Successful People Do Before 8 a.m.
By Jennifer Cohen:
Rise and shine! Morning time just became your new best friend. Love it or hate it, utilizing the morning hours before work may be the key to a successful and healthy lifestyle.
That’s right, early rising is a common trait found in many CEOs,
government officials, and other influential people. Margaret Thatcher
was up every day at 5 a.m.; Frank Lloyd Wright at 4 am and Robert Iger,
the CEO of Disney wakes at 4:30am just to name a few. I know what you’re
thinking - you do your best work at night. Not so fast. According to Inc. Magazine,
morning people have been found to be more proactive and more
productive. In addition, the health benefits for those with a life
before work go on and on. Let’s explore 5 of the things successful
people do before 8 am.
1. Exercise. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. Most people that work out daily, work out in the morning. Whether it’s a morning yoga session or a trip to the gym, exercising before work gives you a boost of energy for the day and that deserved sense of accomplishment. Anyone can tackle a pile of paperwork after 200 ab reps! Morning workouts also eliminate the possibility of flaking out on your cardio after a long day at work. Even if you aren’t bright eyed and bushy tailed at the thought of a 5 am jog, try waking up 15 minutes early for a quick bedside set of pushups or stretching. It’ll help wake up your body, and prep you for your day.
2. Map Out Your Day. Maximize your potential by mapping out your schedule for the day, as well as your goals and to dos. The morning is a good time for this as it is often one of the only quiet times a person gets throughout the day. The early hours foster easier reflection that helps when prioritizing your activities. They also allow for uninterrupted problem solving when trying to fit everything into your timetable. While scheduling, don’t forget about your mental health. Plan a 10 minute break after that stressful meeting for a quick walk around the block or a moment of meditation at your desk. Trying to eat healthy? Schedule a small window in the evening to pack a few nutritious snacks to bring to work the next day.
3. Eat a Healthy Breakfast. We all know that rush out the door with a cup of coffee and an empty stomach feeling. You sit down at your desk, and you’re already wondering how early that taco truck sets up camp outside your office. No good. Take that extra time in the morning to fuel your body for the tasks ahead of it. It will help keep you mind on what’s at hand and not your growling stomach. Not only is breakfast good for your physical health, it is also a good time to connect socially. Even five minutes of talking with your kids or spouse while eating a quick bowl of oatmeal can boost your spirits before heading out the door.
4. Visualization. These days we talk about our physical health ad nauseam, but sometimes our mental health gets overlooked. The morning is the perfect time to spend some quiet time inside your mind meditating or visualizing. Take a moment to visualize your day ahead of you, focusing on the successes you will have. Even just a minute of visualization and positive thinking can help improve your mood and outlook on your work load for the day.
5. Make Your Day Top Heavy. We all have that one item on our to do list that we dread. It looms over you all day (or week) until you finally suck it up and do it after much procrastination. Here’s an easy tip to save yourself the stress - do that least desirable task on your list first. Instead of anticipating the unpleasantness of it from first coffee through your lunch break, get it out of the way. The morning is the time when you are (generally) more well rested and your energy level is up. Therefore, you are more well equipped to handle more difficult projects. And look at it this way, your day will get progressively easier, not the other way around. By the time your work day is ending, you’re winding down with easier to dos and heading into your free time more relaxed. Success!
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Driscoll Catholic High School Football Highlights
In 1991 when my Dad was a new athletic director at the (now-closed) Driscoll Catholic High School, the football team won its first state championship, tying the record for championships by a rookie AD.
Dad passed away in October 2001. The next month, the football team won the first of seven consecutive state football championships, which I'm pretty sure also broke heaven's record for a rookie guardian angel.
Dad passed away in October 2001. The next month, the football team won the first of seven consecutive state football championships, which I'm pretty sure also broke heaven's record for a rookie guardian angel.
Movie Review: Gravity
This sci-fi suspense thriller stars Sandra Bullock as a morose, surprisingly gymnastic NASA scientist on a Hubble-repair mission at a most inconvenient time. A mishap results in a long and desperate struggle to escape orbit and return safely home.
By her side is George Clooney, whose role is surprisingly minor yet crucial. Witty and brave, he inspires the best emotions of the movie, and saves Bullock in multiple ways.
The credits mention Ed Harris, but don't let that be your only reason for going. His voice is a co-star in the early moments of the film.
There is plenty of life-threatening action and near-misses, but inherently (and subtlely) this is a story about someone who's lost her way in life; the space disaster awakens her to new possibilities, and you get the sense as she strides off screen for the final time that she will take on all comers and succeed.
We watched it in 3-D, since most of the show times were. As usual, we came away thinking that 2-D would've been just fine.
All in all, it's a decent and fairly fast-moving plot with the usual suspensions of reality to add excitement. If you're addicted to seeing people do stuff in space, then get out there and see it; if you're patient, then wait for the small screen.
By her side is George Clooney, whose role is surprisingly minor yet crucial. Witty and brave, he inspires the best emotions of the movie, and saves Bullock in multiple ways.
The credits mention Ed Harris, but don't let that be your only reason for going. His voice is a co-star in the early moments of the film.
There is plenty of life-threatening action and near-misses, but inherently (and subtlely) this is a story about someone who's lost her way in life; the space disaster awakens her to new possibilities, and you get the sense as she strides off screen for the final time that she will take on all comers and succeed.
We watched it in 3-D, since most of the show times were. As usual, we came away thinking that 2-D would've been just fine.
All in all, it's a decent and fairly fast-moving plot with the usual suspensions of reality to add excitement. If you're addicted to seeing people do stuff in space, then get out there and see it; if you're patient, then wait for the small screen.
Top Three Lists: The Week In Thanks
This week's medical minute had me on my back, sliding mechanically through a large whizzing doughnut while a computerized voice instructed me to hold my breath (to minimize movement) and, thankfully, to resume breathing eventually. Such was my first CAT scan. Within two days I had the results by voice mail from my doctor's nurse: Kidneys normal, no sign of stones or anything else. And so the Mystery of the Komplaining Kidneys continues, once again solved by the medic as a likely kidney stone that had passed by the time I was examined, after a steady week of dull, occasionally flaring ache. I'd be fine if this was the last chapter! I'll credit my God-given kidneys for healing themselves, with a tip of the cap to the almighty mecha-pastry that gave the all-clear sign.
I learned recently that one of the best predictors of success is long-term perspective. I've endured enough tests of patience through the years so that the following were not that big of a deal:
1. Downside: We got lost driving to a small group meeting last Sunday. Upside: The four of us had a just-as-pleasant (if not more) small-small-group meeting back at their house.
2. Downside: Our next door neighbors got a puppy with Great Dane lineage, and a howly disposition when left alone. Upside: Puppies grow out of it, and our neighbors have been considerately asking if it's too loud for us.
3. Downside: Our church band was short-changed on rehearsal time and performed on a wing-and-a-big-prayer. Upside: We pulled off an a capella Communion song amazingly smoothly with four voices, and I've come to appreciate the adventure of pulling stuff off like this in underdog fashion, rather than striving for perfection always.
The tutoring business grew again this week:
1. As mentioned in my earlier post, the process of getting up and running with the county is remarkably simple and not prohibitively expensive. I did it in less than an hour at two sites downtown.
2. I met with mentors from the national SCORE program; volunteers who help business owners get up and running. They gave me some useful advice, and some goals to chase in the next month, which is like candy for a guy like me. Mentors in my mind are a snapshot to the future, a chance to anticipate future challenges and prepare.
3. I was offered a deal to join a marketing web site on a trial basis. It led to an interesting request, and I will actually be bartering my tutoring services in exchange for another person's services. Plus it gives me another track into the home school and religious communities.
In the last two weeks I've received a total (including the one above) of six new potential students. It might translate to only a net gain of a couple actual new students, but the fact that my reputation is spreading is gold unto itself.
Shortly after finishing my usual cardio routine of making 100 baskets, I got invited into a 3-on-3 game of hoops that ended up becoming four games, and a two-hour exercise segment. From which I can be thankful that: We won all four; I injured nothing. Fortysomethings around the globe will agree that the second item is the much better accomplishment. This paragraph was brought to you by Ibuprofen.
Dena and I enjoyed a date night of Monical's pizza and Mystery Science Theater 3000, which has popped up on Netflix recently, along with a new season of Saturday Night Live. Netflix has been a fine substitute for cable TV (minus the live sports, most of which is covered by streaming radio), and the date gave us a fun time to look ahead to our California visit to Jack next weekend.
Leadership McLean County is ramping up extra this week, as we encounter a poverty simulation on Thursday and an historic teaming up with another leadership program in town. The representatives on both sides have jelled well, and the rumor is that the simulation is eye-opening and humbling. Worldwide, 1 in 7 people go to be hungry every night. No one that I know is in that situation; most are trying to cut back on calories. That's something to be thankful for. I put together a blog to summarize LMC's progress this year, to pleasant reviews and over 500 views so far:
www.lmc2014.blogspot.com
I learned several other bits of news around that put a smile on my face:
1. The Bears won to go 4-2 on the season, worth enjoying while it lasts; the Cardinals grabbed a 2-0 lead in the playoffs (I'm a fan through marriage).
2. My old State Farm department will be hiring 10 new people next year. This should greatly help their chances of righting the ship, and by extension my many friends there.
3. The economy (at least our stock portfolio) is up more than 10% this year!
This afternoon I was able to spend another sunny day on the deck reading about fitness, sports and humor. We've been graced with so many of these days in the last five months. Fall chill is around the corner, and I've logged enough warm memories to last the winter.
Two final thoughts.
Last week I drove down a city street and saw anti-abortion/pro-life protesters lining the streets delivering a clear message. While I'm not generally well-schooled on when life begins, the demonstration did get me to thinking about how lucky I was when Dad and Mom came together - after years of trying - with their first successful pregnancy. It can be challenging to personalize God without seeing a human form, but it is easy to connect who I am with who my parents have been. The thought of them watching over my shoulder guides me in the right direction.
Today in church the minister called upon us to "Stop, and consider God's great love for you." In the pursuit of peace through love it is enough for me to believe that there is a God, loving and powerful, responsible for the quality of life I have today. Peace and love is not a state I've nearly mastered, but the passage of time donate increasing evidence that I can get there. With that, let the new week begin!
I learned recently that one of the best predictors of success is long-term perspective. I've endured enough tests of patience through the years so that the following were not that big of a deal:
1. Downside: We got lost driving to a small group meeting last Sunday. Upside: The four of us had a just-as-pleasant (if not more) small-small-group meeting back at their house.
2. Downside: Our next door neighbors got a puppy with Great Dane lineage, and a howly disposition when left alone. Upside: Puppies grow out of it, and our neighbors have been considerately asking if it's too loud for us.
3. Downside: Our church band was short-changed on rehearsal time and performed on a wing-and-a-big-prayer. Upside: We pulled off an a capella Communion song amazingly smoothly with four voices, and I've come to appreciate the adventure of pulling stuff off like this in underdog fashion, rather than striving for perfection always.
The tutoring business grew again this week:
1. As mentioned in my earlier post, the process of getting up and running with the county is remarkably simple and not prohibitively expensive. I did it in less than an hour at two sites downtown.
2. I met with mentors from the national SCORE program; volunteers who help business owners get up and running. They gave me some useful advice, and some goals to chase in the next month, which is like candy for a guy like me. Mentors in my mind are a snapshot to the future, a chance to anticipate future challenges and prepare.
3. I was offered a deal to join a marketing web site on a trial basis. It led to an interesting request, and I will actually be bartering my tutoring services in exchange for another person's services. Plus it gives me another track into the home school and religious communities.
In the last two weeks I've received a total (including the one above) of six new potential students. It might translate to only a net gain of a couple actual new students, but the fact that my reputation is spreading is gold unto itself.
Shortly after finishing my usual cardio routine of making 100 baskets, I got invited into a 3-on-3 game of hoops that ended up becoming four games, and a two-hour exercise segment. From which I can be thankful that: We won all four; I injured nothing. Fortysomethings around the globe will agree that the second item is the much better accomplishment. This paragraph was brought to you by Ibuprofen.
Dena and I enjoyed a date night of Monical's pizza and Mystery Science Theater 3000, which has popped up on Netflix recently, along with a new season of Saturday Night Live. Netflix has been a fine substitute for cable TV (minus the live sports, most of which is covered by streaming radio), and the date gave us a fun time to look ahead to our California visit to Jack next weekend.
Leadership McLean County is ramping up extra this week, as we encounter a poverty simulation on Thursday and an historic teaming up with another leadership program in town. The representatives on both sides have jelled well, and the rumor is that the simulation is eye-opening and humbling. Worldwide, 1 in 7 people go to be hungry every night. No one that I know is in that situation; most are trying to cut back on calories. That's something to be thankful for. I put together a blog to summarize LMC's progress this year, to pleasant reviews and over 500 views so far:
www.lmc2014.blogspot.com
I learned several other bits of news around that put a smile on my face:
1. The Bears won to go 4-2 on the season, worth enjoying while it lasts; the Cardinals grabbed a 2-0 lead in the playoffs (I'm a fan through marriage).
2. My old State Farm department will be hiring 10 new people next year. This should greatly help their chances of righting the ship, and by extension my many friends there.
3. The economy (at least our stock portfolio) is up more than 10% this year!
This afternoon I was able to spend another sunny day on the deck reading about fitness, sports and humor. We've been graced with so many of these days in the last five months. Fall chill is around the corner, and I've logged enough warm memories to last the winter.
Two final thoughts.
Last week I drove down a city street and saw anti-abortion/pro-life protesters lining the streets delivering a clear message. While I'm not generally well-schooled on when life begins, the demonstration did get me to thinking about how lucky I was when Dad and Mom came together - after years of trying - with their first successful pregnancy. It can be challenging to personalize God without seeing a human form, but it is easy to connect who I am with who my parents have been. The thought of them watching over my shoulder guides me in the right direction.
Today in church the minister called upon us to "Stop, and consider God's great love for you." In the pursuit of peace through love it is enough for me to believe that there is a God, loving and powerful, responsible for the quality of life I have today. Peace and love is not a state I've nearly mastered, but the passage of time donate increasing evidence that I can get there. With that, let the new week begin!
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Bloomington-Normal Math Tutoring: Gettin' Real
Certain things have got to happen to conduct business in Illinois under a name besides your own. For just $162 I did a couple of those this week.
I had to apply for my business name with the County Clerk ($8 + $1 to notarize) after checking their database to make sure no one else was using that name:
Then I drove to the Pantagraph, which I had to do within 15 days. Once a week for three weeks this masterpiece will be in the paper ($153):
Then I'll receive a certificate of publication, and return that to the Clerk's office within 50 days.
Can paying taxes be far behind?
I had to apply for my business name with the County Clerk ($8 + $1 to notarize) after checking their database to make sure no one else was using that name:
Then I drove to the Pantagraph, which I had to do within 15 days. Once a week for three weeks this masterpiece will be in the paper ($153):
Can paying taxes be far behind?
Happy 50th Birthday To Beatles' "I Want To Hold Your Hand"
By Chris Willman:
It was 50 years ago that the Beatles showed the world they could play. And change pop culture forever.
"I Want to Hold Your Hand" was written on October 16, 1963, and recorded the next day. Within two months, it would be firmly entrenched at No. 1 in Britain and starting to get a little radio play across the pond. It was not much more than three months later that it reached the top of the pops in America ... paving the way for an "Ed Sullivan Show" appearance that still stands as just about the greatest example of "appointment viewing" in TV history. Here is the story behind the seminal song.
They were at the Winpole Street home of the Ashers, parents of Paul's girlfriend, Jane (and also Peter, of Peter & Gordon fame) on the evening of October 16. As Lennon later recounted: "We wrote a lot of stuff together, one on one, eyeball to eyeball. Like in 'I Want to Hold Your Hand,' I remember when we got the chord that made the song. We were in Jane Asher's house, downstairs in the cellar playing on the piano at the same time. And we had, 'Oh you-u-u/Got that something...' And Paul hits this chord, and I turn to him and say, 'That's it!' I said, 'Do that again!' In those days, we really used to absolutely write like that — both playing into each other's noses."
According to Steve Turner's "A Hard Day's Write" book, Lennon had been listening to a French avant-garde record that included a song "where a musical expression repeated as if the record had stuck," and that provided the inspiration for repeating the phrase "I can't hide" three times.
Their previous single, "She Loves You," was on its way to becoming their third No. 1 at home in Britain, but it had failed to even chart in the States. So everyone believed that "I Want to Hold Your Hand" would be the song to break them in the essential American market. Everyone, that is, but the powers that be at Capitol Records.
Capitol executive Dave Dexter turned down the song, as he had with earlier Beatles tunes that had reverted to Vee-Jay Records under an odd right-of-refusal deal the two labels had at the time. This time, the Fabs' manager, Brian Epstein, got fabulously furious, so he appealed all the way to the head of the company, Capitol president Alan Livingston. "He knew it might be risky to go over people's heads," said Joe Flannery in "When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles' Rise to the Top."
"But he had come too far and he decided to take the risk."
Livingston saw the light and approved "Hand" as an actual Capitol single. But a very small pressing of the 45 in the low tens of thousands was scheduled for a January 1964 release, with no one being overly impressed at the time that pre-orders for the single in Britain were nearly a million. Then fate further intervened to press Capitol into quicker and more serious action.
A teenage girl in the Washington, D.C., area named Marsha Albert had seen a report about the Beatles' success in England on "The CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite" on December 10, and she begged a local DJ to get a hold of the song, which two weeks earlier had supplanted "She Loves You" at No. 1 in England. It wasn't just a matter of transatlantic downloading in those days; so the DJ, Carroll James of WWDC, asked a flight attendant he knew to personally bring a copy of the 45 over on from the U.K. James put it on the air on December 17, bringing Albert into the studio to introduce its American premiere.
WWDC kept interrupting the song with its call letters to keep other stations from recording and broadcasting it themselves, but apparently some jocks at other stations also knew some stewardesses, because it immediately took off. Capitol decided to rush-release the single in the States on December 27. It entered the charts in mid-January at No. 45, and was No. 1 two weeks later.
On February 9, 1964, the Beatles played that song and three others for Sullivan and tens of millions of home viewers ... and barbers across America wept. The No. 1s hardly stopped for the Beatles after that point ... with "She Loves You," one of the songs Capitol had passed on and let go to a lesser label, being reissued and becoming their second American chart-topper.
But any musicologist would point to how extraordinarily well-crafted the song is — especially for something that went from germ of an idea to completed project in about a day and a half. And then there's that essential mixture of puppy love and not-so-innocence. New York Times critic Allan Kozinn contended in his book on the Fabs, "The song is actually quite subversive. The innocent declaration of the title was exactly the sort of thing that would assure parents that the Beatles were safe and wholesome; yet for anyone listening closely, the music tells a different story."
Bob Dylan thought the lyrics were much more subversive than they were. Like some other listeners, he thought that the repeated "I can't hide" line actually said "I get high," so he assumed the Beatles were extolling pot, only to find, when he met them in '64, that they hadn't even tried it yet.
The Beatles weren't done with "I Want to Hold Your Hand" yet. They were called back into the studio, against their will, to record a version for the German market: "Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand."
What their handlers hadn't yet learned was that foreign translations weren't necessary: The Beatles were already on their way to making the rest of the world want to learn — make that want to be — English.
It was 50 years ago that the Beatles showed the world they could play. And change pop culture forever.
"I Want to Hold Your Hand" was written on October 16, 1963, and recorded the next day. Within two months, it would be firmly entrenched at No. 1 in Britain and starting to get a little radio play across the pond. It was not much more than three months later that it reached the top of the pops in America ... paving the way for an "Ed Sullivan Show" appearance that still stands as just about the greatest example of "appointment viewing" in TV history. Here is the story behind the seminal song.
Things were not so hysterical when John Lennon and Paul McCartney
sat down together at the piano on that fall night a half-century ago.
They were banging out some tunes for their soon-to-be-released sophomore
album, "With the Beatles," and also looking to write some singles that
would not appear on the album, as was the custom at that time. Some have
claimed they had been asked to deliberately try to come up with
something that could crack the tough American market, which had proven highly resistant to Britpop, as poor Cliff Richard found out.
They were at the Winpole Street home of the Ashers, parents of Paul's girlfriend, Jane (and also Peter, of Peter & Gordon fame) on the evening of October 16. As Lennon later recounted: "We wrote a lot of stuff together, one on one, eyeball to eyeball. Like in 'I Want to Hold Your Hand,' I remember when we got the chord that made the song. We were in Jane Asher's house, downstairs in the cellar playing on the piano at the same time. And we had, 'Oh you-u-u/Got that something...' And Paul hits this chord, and I turn to him and say, 'That's it!' I said, 'Do that again!' In those days, we really used to absolutely write like that — both playing into each other's noses."
According to Steve Turner's "A Hard Day's Write" book, Lennon had been listening to a French avant-garde record that included a song "where a musical expression repeated as if the record had stuck," and that provided the inspiration for repeating the phrase "I can't hide" three times.
In
the studio the following day, with producer George Martin recording on
then-advanced four-track technology for the first time, they went
through 17 takes. According to Mark Lewisohn's "Complete Beatles
Recording Sessions," the master tapes "reveal that the Beatles
had the song perfected before the session, the first take sounding not
unlike the last." After all those years mastering their craft in the
Cavern Club, it was no big deal for them to enter the studio with a
completed arrangement a day after the first line had been written.
Their previous single, "She Loves You," was on its way to becoming their third No. 1 at home in Britain, but it had failed to even chart in the States. So everyone believed that "I Want to Hold Your Hand" would be the song to break them in the essential American market. Everyone, that is, but the powers that be at Capitol Records.
Capitol executive Dave Dexter turned down the song, as he had with earlier Beatles tunes that had reverted to Vee-Jay Records under an odd right-of-refusal deal the two labels had at the time. This time, the Fabs' manager, Brian Epstein, got fabulously furious, so he appealed all the way to the head of the company, Capitol president Alan Livingston. "He knew it might be risky to go over people's heads," said Joe Flannery in "When They Were Boys: The True Story of the Beatles' Rise to the Top."
"But he had come too far and he decided to take the risk."
Livingston saw the light and approved "Hand" as an actual Capitol single. But a very small pressing of the 45 in the low tens of thousands was scheduled for a January 1964 release, with no one being overly impressed at the time that pre-orders for the single in Britain were nearly a million. Then fate further intervened to press Capitol into quicker and more serious action.
A teenage girl in the Washington, D.C., area named Marsha Albert had seen a report about the Beatles' success in England on "The CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite" on December 10, and she begged a local DJ to get a hold of the song, which two weeks earlier had supplanted "She Loves You" at No. 1 in England. It wasn't just a matter of transatlantic downloading in those days; so the DJ, Carroll James of WWDC, asked a flight attendant he knew to personally bring a copy of the 45 over on from the U.K. James put it on the air on December 17, bringing Albert into the studio to introduce its American premiere.
WWDC kept interrupting the song with its call letters to keep other stations from recording and broadcasting it themselves, but apparently some jocks at other stations also knew some stewardesses, because it immediately took off. Capitol decided to rush-release the single in the States on December 27. It entered the charts in mid-January at No. 45, and was No. 1 two weeks later.
On February 9, 1964, the Beatles played that song and three others for Sullivan and tens of millions of home viewers ... and barbers across America wept. The No. 1s hardly stopped for the Beatles after that point ... with "She Loves You," one of the songs Capitol had passed on and let go to a lesser label, being reissued and becoming their second American chart-topper.
What was it about this song? Some say it could have been any Beatles tune
at that moment — that the depression and angst caused by the Kennedy
assassination in November had created a vacuum just waiting to be filled
up by something euphoric.
But any musicologist would point to how extraordinarily well-crafted the song is — especially for something that went from germ of an idea to completed project in about a day and a half. And then there's that essential mixture of puppy love and not-so-innocence. New York Times critic Allan Kozinn contended in his book on the Fabs, "The song is actually quite subversive. The innocent declaration of the title was exactly the sort of thing that would assure parents that the Beatles were safe and wholesome; yet for anyone listening closely, the music tells a different story."
Bob Dylan thought the lyrics were much more subversive than they were. Like some other listeners, he thought that the repeated "I can't hide" line actually said "I get high," so he assumed the Beatles were extolling pot, only to find, when he met them in '64, that they hadn't even tried it yet.
The Beatles weren't done with "I Want to Hold Your Hand" yet. They were called back into the studio, against their will, to record a version for the German market: "Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand."
What their handlers hadn't yet learned was that foreign translations weren't necessary: The Beatles were already on their way to making the rest of the world want to learn — make that want to be — English.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Timed Traveler: Diana Nyad's Inspirational Swim Across The Florida Straits
At last, Diana Nyad swam the 110 miles from Cuba to Florida.
It took her 52 hours, 54 minutes, and 18 seconds. That's more than two days of continuous swimming.
To prep for this, she swam every other day, up to 22 hours at a time. Spent 2.5 hours every day doing yoga.
Her swim encountered ocean waves, unpredictable weather, and jellyfish stings.
This was her fifth attempt, and fourth in the last four years.
She is 64 years old.
What have you done lately and failed? Are you willing to try four more times? Why not?
It took her 52 hours, 54 minutes, and 18 seconds. That's more than two days of continuous swimming.
To prep for this, she swam every other day, up to 22 hours at a time. Spent 2.5 hours every day doing yoga.
Her swim encountered ocean waves, unpredictable weather, and jellyfish stings.
This was her fifth attempt, and fourth in the last four years.
She is 64 years old.
What have you done lately and failed? Are you willing to try four more times? Why not?
Bob Bradley: The American Pharaoh
"Don't be afraid to put everything you have into something. If you're worried about the outcome, you don't get anywhere." - Bob Bradley
Bradley is an American citizen, a former coach of the U.S. men's national soccer team. He was fired, spurned by clubs in Europe, and finally settled in with the Egyptian national team.
In February 2012 civil unrest led to a bloody road game - suspicion is that it was planned - where his team was attacked. 74 of his team's fans were killed.
Bradley stayed in Egypt. Including when the league was suspended. And when several of his players quit or retired.
These days, the Egyptian national team is undefeated in World Cup competition. Bradley is revered. Not that he wants to be. But this is what happens when you stand steadfast amidst disaster. You win.
Bradley is an American citizen, a former coach of the U.S. men's national soccer team. He was fired, spurned by clubs in Europe, and finally settled in with the Egyptian national team.
In February 2012 civil unrest led to a bloody road game - suspicion is that it was planned - where his team was attacked. 74 of his team's fans were killed.
Bradley stayed in Egypt. Including when the league was suspended. And when several of his players quit or retired.
These days, the Egyptian national team is undefeated in World Cup competition. Bradley is revered. Not that he wants to be. But this is what happens when you stand steadfast amidst disaster. You win.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Phyllis Wise: Leadership Is A Skill, Not A Gene
By Phyllis Wise:
I am just celebrating the second anniversary of the day I officially became chancellor of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign – one of the premiere public research universities in the world and one of the original land-grant universities established by Abraham Lincoln in 1862. I am responsible for leading an institution with more than 43,000 students, 1,800 faculty members and more than 425,000 living alumni around the world.
It’s probably not surprising that in this role I’m often asked to speak and write about leadership. And while I appreciate these opportunities, I always feel a little strange because I have to start all of them with the confession that I consider myself more a leader by accident than by design. I can say with complete authority that, “Be the top administrator at a major public research university,” was never on my childhood list of things to do.
Years ago, when I earned my doctorate and started my academic career, my goal was to understand the molecular biology and biochemistry of the brain and how the endocrine system influences the way the brain works, not to be a department head, a dean or a provost. Yet, in the course of my career, I found myself in all of these roles.
We've all heard references to “born leaders” or to be “born to lead.” I cringe a bit when I hear this. In part because it implies that leadership is in one’s DNA and that it’s something only a special few can ever possess. Leadership is a skill like any other that must be cultivated.
And while I believe there is no defined formula or route to leading, I can share a few of the things I've learned on the very unexpected, but very fulfilling road that started with Chinese immigrant parents in New York City and has led to the University of Illinois.
Get a mentor
Connections with people make all the difference. I firmly believe one of the best things you can do is to find someone you admire and trust and learn from them. This is not for networking purposes or merely to get ahead – the key here really is learning. Ask them questions. Watch how they behave and how they become leaders through what they do and how they do it. My mentors helped me see what opportunities I might pursue and they taught me to see the lessons available to me at each step in my career. From the things I got wrong, the things I got right, and the things I could learn from those around me.
See beyond yourself
Those individuals who end up in leadership positions are often the most ambitious, but leadership takes far different skills than those used for personal gain. Once leadership is attained, your worth becomes far less about what you personally accomplish and much more about the success of the team, or in my case the university. That means finding satisfaction in the accomplishments of others, not just getting co-authorship or invitations to sit on boards or adding more lines to adorn your resume. Leadership is often a service role. And it takes a great deal of humility to listen, consult and solicit criticism from others.
Have integrity
It seems obvious and clichéd, but never compromise on ethics and integrity. And no matter how successful, don’t copy people you don’t respect. Identify people you can trust versus those who want to please you. As you become more successful there are more and more of the latter. The colleagues and leaders I've most admired and tried to emulate are the ones who always seem to recognize who is telling you what you need to know rather than those telling you what they think you want to hear.
Recognize your opportunities
Finally, it is critical to always remember that leaders aren't born or created by organizational charts nor ordained by the title on a business card. True leaders emerge at every level and in every situation. They are established by their actions and decisions – not by a nameplate. And they are recognized for what they accomplish together with the people around them when the chance arises.
Realize your path may change
For me, my road to Illinois was in some significant ways an accidental path to a place I never envisioned. I have the privilege of representing the students, faculty, staff and alumni of a university that can honestly claim to have changed our world. It may not have been where I ever expected to be, but for me, it has turned out to be exactly where I am privileged to be.
I am just celebrating the second anniversary of the day I officially became chancellor of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign – one of the premiere public research universities in the world and one of the original land-grant universities established by Abraham Lincoln in 1862. I am responsible for leading an institution with more than 43,000 students, 1,800 faculty members and more than 425,000 living alumni around the world.
It’s probably not surprising that in this role I’m often asked to speak and write about leadership. And while I appreciate these opportunities, I always feel a little strange because I have to start all of them with the confession that I consider myself more a leader by accident than by design. I can say with complete authority that, “Be the top administrator at a major public research university,” was never on my childhood list of things to do.
Years ago, when I earned my doctorate and started my academic career, my goal was to understand the molecular biology and biochemistry of the brain and how the endocrine system influences the way the brain works, not to be a department head, a dean or a provost. Yet, in the course of my career, I found myself in all of these roles.
We've all heard references to “born leaders” or to be “born to lead.” I cringe a bit when I hear this. In part because it implies that leadership is in one’s DNA and that it’s something only a special few can ever possess. Leadership is a skill like any other that must be cultivated.
And while I believe there is no defined formula or route to leading, I can share a few of the things I've learned on the very unexpected, but very fulfilling road that started with Chinese immigrant parents in New York City and has led to the University of Illinois.
Get a mentor
Connections with people make all the difference. I firmly believe one of the best things you can do is to find someone you admire and trust and learn from them. This is not for networking purposes or merely to get ahead – the key here really is learning. Ask them questions. Watch how they behave and how they become leaders through what they do and how they do it. My mentors helped me see what opportunities I might pursue and they taught me to see the lessons available to me at each step in my career. From the things I got wrong, the things I got right, and the things I could learn from those around me.
See beyond yourself
Those individuals who end up in leadership positions are often the most ambitious, but leadership takes far different skills than those used for personal gain. Once leadership is attained, your worth becomes far less about what you personally accomplish and much more about the success of the team, or in my case the university. That means finding satisfaction in the accomplishments of others, not just getting co-authorship or invitations to sit on boards or adding more lines to adorn your resume. Leadership is often a service role. And it takes a great deal of humility to listen, consult and solicit criticism from others.
Have integrity
It seems obvious and clichéd, but never compromise on ethics and integrity. And no matter how successful, don’t copy people you don’t respect. Identify people you can trust versus those who want to please you. As you become more successful there are more and more of the latter. The colleagues and leaders I've most admired and tried to emulate are the ones who always seem to recognize who is telling you what you need to know rather than those telling you what they think you want to hear.
Recognize your opportunities
Finally, it is critical to always remember that leaders aren't born or created by organizational charts nor ordained by the title on a business card. True leaders emerge at every level and in every situation. They are established by their actions and decisions – not by a nameplate. And they are recognized for what they accomplish together with the people around them when the chance arises.
Realize your path may change
For me, my road to Illinois was in some significant ways an accidental path to a place I never envisioned. I have the privilege of representing the students, faculty, staff and alumni of a university that can honestly claim to have changed our world. It may not have been where I ever expected to be, but for me, it has turned out to be exactly where I am privileged to be.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Why Having Too Little Leads To Bad Decisions
By Denise Cummins, Psychology Today:
If I’d only done this instead of that, I’d be in better financial shape today. How many times have you found yourself thinking that thought?
While hindsight is always 20-20, a growing body of research is illuminating a surprising factor in poor decision-making: feeling that you don’t have enough.
The scarcity can be not enough money, not enough time, or not enough turns in a game like Angry Birds.
Let’s look first at money. A research team led by Harvard economist Sendhil Mullainathan asked shoppers at a New Jersey Mall (whose annual incomes ranged from $20,000 to $70,000) to imagine that their car required a repair costing $300. They were free to pay for the repair now, take out a loan to cover the cost of the repair, or simply ignore it. Then the shoppers were given a series of tasks to complete that measured various aspects of intelligence, such as logical thinking and problem solving.
The researchers found that performance on the cognitive tasks was the same regardless of income level. But when the cost of the repair was increased to $3,000, a very different picture emerged: The cognitive performance of those at the upper end of the income distribution was unaffected by the increase. But those at the lower end suffered a 40% decline! The authors interpreted this to mean that scarcity impaired people’s ability to think clearly. The threat—even an imagined threat—of a large bill made it difficult for poor people to focus on the cognitive tasks at hand.
One objection you might have about the studies I just described is that perhaps poor people are just more emotionally over-reactive. You may go even so far as to argue that that is why they are poor—they can’t handle stress and pressure.
This is where laboratory experiments come in handy. Using college students from the University of Chicago, Princeton, and Harvard, Mullainathan and colleagues studied the impact of a number of different types of scarcity on decision-making. Participants were randomly assigned to various scarcity conditions so the researchers were not studying performance differences between rich and poor. Instead, they were studying what happens to people of similar backgrounds when they are placed in conditions of plenty or scarcity.
Across a number of studies, participants played games such as Wheel of Fortune, Angry Birds, or Family Feud. They were randomly assigned “budgets” of a number of chances given to play the game. These budgets could contain many chances (“rich”) or few (“poor”). The budgets were distributed in “paychecks” across multiple rounds of the game. “Poor” participants received smaller “paychecks” than “rich” participants. On each round, they could earn rewards. If they completed a round without using up their “paychecks”, the unspent units were carried forward to the next game.
Now here’s the most important part: Some participants were allowed to borrow chances when they ran out, but they had to pay a cost to do so. This is analogous to using a credit card when you run out of money before your next paycheck.
The first question is whether these differences in resource allocation affected cognitive performance. To answer this, participants were tested on a variety of cognitive and attention tasks after they had completed the games. “Poor” participants performed significantly worse on the cognitive tasks than did the “rich” participants.
The next question is whether people make better or worse financial decisions under conditions of scarcity. The studies returned the same pattern of results regardless of which game was played:
“Poor” participants borrowed more than did “rich” participants, and accumulated greater debt as the game progressed. Because they were paying interest on their borrowing, their “paychecks” shrunk over the course of the game. They also borrowed heavily regardless of whether the interest rate was high or low. In fact, “poor” participants fared better when they did NOT have the option to borrow.
“Rich” participants, on the other hand, performed equivalently whether they had the option to borrow or not, they borrowed less, and they tempered their decisions to borrow based on the interest rate they would be charged.
The final question is how well participants performed in the games. Given that “rich” participants had more chances to win, it is no surprise that they did better than “poor” participants. But the affect of scarcity was more insidious than that. In the Family Feud game, some participants were allowed to see previews of questions that would be used in the next round. “Poor” participants did not take advantage of the previews; they performed the same whether they were given the “heads up” or not.
“Rich” participants, on the other hand, made use of the hint, and their performance improved. The researchers concluded that “poor” participants were so focused on the demands of the current game that they did not consider what was going to happen in the very near future. Instead, scarcity led “poor” people to neglect future rounds and borrow away from them.
Mullainathan and Princeton psychologist Eldar Shafir summarize these and many other studies in their new book Why Having Too Little Means So Much (2013, Times Books). The takeaway message of the book is this: Scarcity of time, food, opportunity, or even friendship, can create a narrowed mindset in anyone. No one is immune.
If I’d only done this instead of that, I’d be in better financial shape today. How many times have you found yourself thinking that thought?
While hindsight is always 20-20, a growing body of research is illuminating a surprising factor in poor decision-making: feeling that you don’t have enough.
The scarcity can be not enough money, not enough time, or not enough turns in a game like Angry Birds.
Let’s look first at money. A research team led by Harvard economist Sendhil Mullainathan asked shoppers at a New Jersey Mall (whose annual incomes ranged from $20,000 to $70,000) to imagine that their car required a repair costing $300. They were free to pay for the repair now, take out a loan to cover the cost of the repair, or simply ignore it. Then the shoppers were given a series of tasks to complete that measured various aspects of intelligence, such as logical thinking and problem solving.
The researchers found that performance on the cognitive tasks was the same regardless of income level. But when the cost of the repair was increased to $3,000, a very different picture emerged: The cognitive performance of those at the upper end of the income distribution was unaffected by the increase. But those at the lower end suffered a 40% decline! The authors interpreted this to mean that scarcity impaired people’s ability to think clearly. The threat—even an imagined threat—of a large bill made it difficult for poor people to focus on the cognitive tasks at hand.
Do people behave like this in “the real world”? The answer
appears to be yes. Mullainathan and colleagues provided sugar cane
farmers in India with psychological tests before their harvest, and
after the harvest. The farmers performed better on the tests after the
harvest, when their financial coffers were flush. The results of these
two studies were reported in the August 30 issue of Science.
One objection you might have about the studies I just described is that perhaps poor people are just more emotionally over-reactive. You may go even so far as to argue that that is why they are poor—they can’t handle stress and pressure.
This is where laboratory experiments come in handy. Using college students from the University of Chicago, Princeton, and Harvard, Mullainathan and colleagues studied the impact of a number of different types of scarcity on decision-making. Participants were randomly assigned to various scarcity conditions so the researchers were not studying performance differences between rich and poor. Instead, they were studying what happens to people of similar backgrounds when they are placed in conditions of plenty or scarcity.
Across a number of studies, participants played games such as Wheel of Fortune, Angry Birds, or Family Feud. They were randomly assigned “budgets” of a number of chances given to play the game. These budgets could contain many chances (“rich”) or few (“poor”). The budgets were distributed in “paychecks” across multiple rounds of the game. “Poor” participants received smaller “paychecks” than “rich” participants. On each round, they could earn rewards. If they completed a round without using up their “paychecks”, the unspent units were carried forward to the next game.
Now here’s the most important part: Some participants were allowed to borrow chances when they ran out, but they had to pay a cost to do so. This is analogous to using a credit card when you run out of money before your next paycheck.
The first question is whether these differences in resource allocation affected cognitive performance. To answer this, participants were tested on a variety of cognitive and attention tasks after they had completed the games. “Poor” participants performed significantly worse on the cognitive tasks than did the “rich” participants.
The next question is whether people make better or worse financial decisions under conditions of scarcity. The studies returned the same pattern of results regardless of which game was played:
“Poor” participants borrowed more than did “rich” participants, and accumulated greater debt as the game progressed. Because they were paying interest on their borrowing, their “paychecks” shrunk over the course of the game. They also borrowed heavily regardless of whether the interest rate was high or low. In fact, “poor” participants fared better when they did NOT have the option to borrow.
“Rich” participants, on the other hand, performed equivalently whether they had the option to borrow or not, they borrowed less, and they tempered their decisions to borrow based on the interest rate they would be charged.
The final question is how well participants performed in the games. Given that “rich” participants had more chances to win, it is no surprise that they did better than “poor” participants. But the affect of scarcity was more insidious than that. In the Family Feud game, some participants were allowed to see previews of questions that would be used in the next round. “Poor” participants did not take advantage of the previews; they performed the same whether they were given the “heads up” or not.
“Rich” participants, on the other hand, made use of the hint, and their performance improved. The researchers concluded that “poor” participants were so focused on the demands of the current game that they did not consider what was going to happen in the very near future. Instead, scarcity led “poor” people to neglect future rounds and borrow away from them.
Mullainathan and Princeton psychologist Eldar Shafir summarize these and many other studies in their new book Why Having Too Little Means So Much (2013, Times Books). The takeaway message of the book is this: Scarcity of time, food, opportunity, or even friendship, can create a narrowed mindset in anyone. No one is immune.
Heart Tops Smart
"I prefer the folly of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom." - Raymond Thornburg
I think if Ray were here today, he'd say "Enthusiasm beats wisdom," if he didn't mind me calling him Ray.
I throw words around as much as anyone - too much, really - but I'm more drawn to those with sun-like energy than those with sage-like advice. I enjoy reading John Wooden and Abe Lincoln, but I spend my time with the Dave Witzigs and Shari Lauers of the world.
I think if Ray were here today, he'd say "Enthusiasm beats wisdom," if he didn't mind me calling him Ray.
I throw words around as much as anyone - too much, really - but I'm more drawn to those with sun-like energy than those with sage-like advice. I enjoy reading John Wooden and Abe Lincoln, but I spend my time with the Dave Witzigs and Shari Lauers of the world.
Withhold Information Desk
"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose." - George Carlin
"Lost" And Found
This was the challenge put before a Christian small group I've been attending recently:
"Find and/or create opportunities to hang out with lost people."
"Lost" people are those who have yet to adopt the beliefs of this church. In the big picture, the challenge is to play an active role in helping non-believers to adopt these beliefs.
If I'm an advocate of any single noblest cause, I'd say it's for inner peace. Hidden Bloggers know that I do credit God at least weekly for my inner peace, which has increased considerably during the last five years (ironically timed with my distance from mainstream religion). I almost said "missionary" rather than "advocate," but "mission" implies enough devotion to live it daily, and enough authenticity to sell it convincingly.
So although I wouldn't classify myself as any more "lost" than the people who may say that I am, I do appreciate the devotion with which they claim it. It's refreshed some self-reflection on habits I can build to increase the peace. And the more I master that within myself, the more likely it may spread to others like a light in their particular shade of darkness.
"Find and/or create opportunities to hang out with lost people."
"Lost" people are those who have yet to adopt the beliefs of this church. In the big picture, the challenge is to play an active role in helping non-believers to adopt these beliefs.
If I'm an advocate of any single noblest cause, I'd say it's for inner peace. Hidden Bloggers know that I do credit God at least weekly for my inner peace, which has increased considerably during the last five years (ironically timed with my distance from mainstream religion). I almost said "missionary" rather than "advocate," but "mission" implies enough devotion to live it daily, and enough authenticity to sell it convincingly.
So although I wouldn't classify myself as any more "lost" than the people who may say that I am, I do appreciate the devotion with which they claim it. It's refreshed some self-reflection on habits I can build to increase the peace. And the more I master that within myself, the more likely it may spread to others like a light in their particular shade of darkness.
It's Who You Know
"A lot of life is really about who you know and making sure you hold on to those relationships. My big break was when I was hired to represent a company started by people I knew from high school."
Exactly!
My job at State Farm was due in good part to my resume accumulated in college. But what act specifically led to the job? When an employee at the last minute decided not to return from maternity leave. The company hunted locally, contacting the adviser of the actuarial program - the person who I'd spent four years building a relationship with. I could've spent my college years just taking classes and being the best student I could be. It might have made just little enough difference to count, though, if it hadn't been for making the effort to know people.
Do you know why I sing at Epiphany church these days? It's because I met Jennifer and Sean through the musical Hairspray.
How did I end up in Hairspray? Because of Wendi introducing it to me, when I went with the Kiwanis Club and Dena to see a play there.
How did I meet Wendi? Through a choir at a church.
How did I join that choir? Through friends at the church who invited us.
How did I meet those friends? Through my days tutoring at ISU.
Adventures are like prospecting. You reach out and meet new people, and eventually an exciting door opens up.
I'm meeting 30 new people through Leadership McLean County. Will one of them lead to my meeting the President someday? Or the fourth degree of contacts I meet after that? I don't know. But past success makes it easy to enjoy trying.
Exactly!
My job at State Farm was due in good part to my resume accumulated in college. But what act specifically led to the job? When an employee at the last minute decided not to return from maternity leave. The company hunted locally, contacting the adviser of the actuarial program - the person who I'd spent four years building a relationship with. I could've spent my college years just taking classes and being the best student I could be. It might have made just little enough difference to count, though, if it hadn't been for making the effort to know people.
Do you know why I sing at Epiphany church these days? It's because I met Jennifer and Sean through the musical Hairspray.
How did I end up in Hairspray? Because of Wendi introducing it to me, when I went with the Kiwanis Club and Dena to see a play there.
How did I meet Wendi? Through a choir at a church.
How did I join that choir? Through friends at the church who invited us.
How did I meet those friends? Through my days tutoring at ISU.
Adventures are like prospecting. You reach out and meet new people, and eventually an exciting door opens up.
I'm meeting 30 new people through Leadership McLean County. Will one of them lead to my meeting the President someday? Or the fourth degree of contacts I meet after that? I don't know. But past success makes it easy to enjoy trying.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Marina Shifrin Quits Job Via YouTube - Leaves Interpretive Kanye Dance For Boss
Oh yeah! If your boss don't care, get outta there.
Great Vs. Nightmare Sports Parents
By Steve Henson, ThePostGame:
Hundreds of college athletes were asked to think back: "What is your worst memory from playing youth and high school sports?"
Their overwhelming response: "The ride home from games with my parents."
The informal survey lasted three decades, initiated by two former longtime coaches who over time became staunch advocates for the player, for the adolescent, for the child. Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC are devoted to helping adults avoid becoming a nightmare sports parent, speaking at colleges, high schools and youth leagues to more than a million athletes, coaches and parents in the last 12 years.
Those same college athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame.
Their overwhelming response: "I love to watch you play."
There it is, from the mouths of babes who grew up to become college and professional athletes. Whether your child is just beginning T-ball or is a travel-team soccer all-star or survived the cuts for the high school varsity, parents take heed.
The vast majority of dads and moms that make rides home from games miserable for their children do so inadvertently. They aren't stereotypical horrendous sports parents, the ones who scream at referees, loudly second-guess coaches or berate their children. They are well-intentioned folks who can't help but initiate conversation about the contest before the sweat has dried on their child's uniform.
In the moments after a game, win or lose, kids desire distance. They make a rapid transition from athlete back to child. And they’d prefer if parents transitioned from spectator – or in many instances from coach – back to mom and dad. ASAP.
Brown (pictured below at podium), a high school and youth coach near Seattle for more than 30 years, says his research shows young athletes especially enjoy having their grandparents watch them perform.
"Overall, grandparents are more content than parents to simply enjoy watching the child participate," he says. "Kids recognize that."
A grandparent is more likely to offer a smile and a hug, say "I love watching you play," and leave it at that.
Meanwhile a parent might blurt out …
“Why did you swing at that high pitch when we talked about laying off it?"
"Stay focused even when you are on the bench.”
"You didn’t hustle back to your position on defense.”
"You would have won if the ref would have called that obvious foul.”
"Your coach didn't have the best team on the field when it mattered most.”
And on and on.
Sure, an element of truth might be evident in the remarks. But the young athlete doesn’t want to hear it immediately after the game. Not from a parent. Comments that undermine teammates, the coach or even officials run counter to everything the young player is taught. And instructional feedback was likely already mentioned by the coach.
"Let your child bring the game to you if they want to,” Brown says.
Brown and Miller, a longtime coach and college administrator, don't consider themselves experts, but instead use their platform to convey to parents what three generations of young athletes have told them.
"Everything we teach came from me asking players questions," Brown says. "When you have a trusting relationship with kids, you get honest answers. When you listen to young people speak from their heart, they offer a perspective that really resonates.”
So what’s the takeaway for parents?
"Sports is one of few places in a child's life where a parent can say, 'This is your thing,’ ” Miller says.
"Athletics is one of the best ways for young people to take risks and deal with failure because the consequences aren’t fatal, they aren’t permanent. We’re talking about a game. So they usually don’t want or need a parent to rescue them when something goes wrong.
"Once you as a parent are assured the team is a safe environment, release your child to the coach and to the game. That way all successes are theirs, all failures are theirs."
And discussion on the ride home can be about a song on the radio or where to stop for a bite to eat. By the time you pull into the driveway, the relationship ought to have transformed from keenly interested spectator and athlete back to parent and child:
"We loved watching you play. … Now, how about that homework?"
FIVE SIGNS OF A NIGHTMARE SPORTS PARENT
Nearly 75 percent of kids who play organized sports quit by age 13. Some find that their skill level hits a plateau and the game is no longer fun. Others simply discover other interests. But too many promising young athletes turn away from sports because their parents become insufferable.
Even professional athletes can behave inappropriately when it comes to their children. David Beckham was recently ejected from a youth soccer field for questioning an official. New Orleans radio host Bobby Hebert, a former NFL quarterback, publicly dressed down LSU football coach Les Miles after Alabama defeated LSU in the BCS title game last month. Hebert was hardly unbiased: His son had recently lost his starting position at LSU.
Mom or dad, so loving and rational at home, can transform into an ogre at a game. A lot of kids internally reach the conclusion that if they quit the sport, maybe they'll get their dad or mom back.
As a sports parent, this is what you don't want to become. This is what you want to avoid:
• Overemphasizing sports at the expense of sportsmanship: The best athletes keep their emotions in check and perform at an even keel, win or lose. Parents demonstrative in showing displeasure during a contest are sending the wrong message. Encouragement is crucial -- especially when things aren’t going well on the field.
• Having different goals than your child: Brown and Miller suggest jotting down a list of what you want for your child during their sport season. Your son or daughter can do the same. Vastly different lists are a red flag. Kids generally want to have fun, enjoy time with their friends, improve their skills and win. Parents who write down “getting a scholarship” or “making the All-Star team” probably need to adjust their goals. “Athletes say their parents believe their role on the team is larger than what the athlete knows it to be,” Miller says.
• Treating your child differently after a loss than a win: Almost all parents love their children the same regardless of the outcome of a game. Yet often their behavior conveys something else. "Many young athletes indicate that conversations with their parents after a game somehow make them feel as if their value as a person was tied to playing time or winning,” Brown says.
• Undermining the coach: Young athletes need a single instructional voice during games. That voice has to be the coach. Kids who listen to their parents yelling instruction from the stands or even glancing at their parents for approval from the field are distracted and can't perform at a peak level. Second-guessing the coach on the ride home is just as insidious.
• Living your own athletic dream through your child: A sure sign is the parent taking credit when the child has done well. “We worked on that shot for weeks in the driveway,” or “You did it just like I showed you” Another symptom is when the outcome of a game means more to a parent than to the child. If you as a parent are still depressed by a loss when the child is already off playing with friends, remind yourself that it’s not your career and you have zero control over the outcome.
FIVE SIGNS OF AN IDEAL SPORTS PARENT
Let’s hear it for the parents who do it right. In many respects, Brown and Miller say, it’s easier to be an ideal sports parent than a nightmare. “It takes less effort,” Miller says. “Sit back and enjoy.” Here’s what to do:
• Cheer everybody on the team, not just your child: Parents should attend as many games as possible and be supportive, yet allow young athletes to find their own solutions. Don’t feel the need to come to their rescue at every crisis. Continue to make positive comments even when the team is struggling.
• Model appropriate behavior: Contrary to the old saying, children do as you do, not as you say. When a parent projects poise, control and confidence, the young athlete is likely to do the same. And when a parent doesn’t dwell on a tough loss, the young athlete will be enormously appreciative.
• Know what is suitable to discuss with the coach: The mental and physical treatment of your child is absolutely appropriate. So is seeking advice on ways to help your child improve. And if you are concerned about your child’s behavior in the team setting, bring that up with the coach. Taboo topics: Playing time, team strategy, and discussing team members other than your child.
• Know your role: Everyone at a game is either a player, a coach, an official or a spectator. “It’s wise to choose only one of those roles at a time,” Brown says. “Some adults have the false impression that by being in a crowd, they become anonymous. People behaving poorly cannot hide.” Here’s a clue: If your child seems embarrassed by you, clean up your act.
• Be a good listener and a great encourager: When your child is ready to talk about a game or has a question about the sport, be all ears. Then provide answers while being mindful of avoiding becoming a nightmare sports parent. Above all, be positive. Be your child's biggest fan. "Good athletes learn better when they seek their own answers," Brown says.
And, of course, don’t be sparing with those magic words: "I love watching you play."
Hundreds of college athletes were asked to think back: "What is your worst memory from playing youth and high school sports?"
Their overwhelming response: "The ride home from games with my parents."
The informal survey lasted three decades, initiated by two former longtime coaches who over time became staunch advocates for the player, for the adolescent, for the child. Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC are devoted to helping adults avoid becoming a nightmare sports parent, speaking at colleges, high schools and youth leagues to more than a million athletes, coaches and parents in the last 12 years.
Those same college athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame.
Their overwhelming response: "I love to watch you play."
There it is, from the mouths of babes who grew up to become college and professional athletes. Whether your child is just beginning T-ball or is a travel-team soccer all-star or survived the cuts for the high school varsity, parents take heed.
The vast majority of dads and moms that make rides home from games miserable for their children do so inadvertently. They aren't stereotypical horrendous sports parents, the ones who scream at referees, loudly second-guess coaches or berate their children. They are well-intentioned folks who can't help but initiate conversation about the contest before the sweat has dried on their child's uniform.
In the moments after a game, win or lose, kids desire distance. They make a rapid transition from athlete back to child. And they’d prefer if parents transitioned from spectator – or in many instances from coach – back to mom and dad. ASAP.
Brown (pictured below at podium), a high school and youth coach near Seattle for more than 30 years, says his research shows young athletes especially enjoy having their grandparents watch them perform.
"Overall, grandparents are more content than parents to simply enjoy watching the child participate," he says. "Kids recognize that."
A grandparent is more likely to offer a smile and a hug, say "I love watching you play," and leave it at that.
Meanwhile a parent might blurt out …
“Why did you swing at that high pitch when we talked about laying off it?"
"Stay focused even when you are on the bench.”
"You didn’t hustle back to your position on defense.”
"You would have won if the ref would have called that obvious foul.”
"Your coach didn't have the best team on the field when it mattered most.”
And on and on.
Sure, an element of truth might be evident in the remarks. But the young athlete doesn’t want to hear it immediately after the game. Not from a parent. Comments that undermine teammates, the coach or even officials run counter to everything the young player is taught. And instructional feedback was likely already mentioned by the coach.
"Let your child bring the game to you if they want to,” Brown says.
Brown and Miller, a longtime coach and college administrator, don't consider themselves experts, but instead use their platform to convey to parents what three generations of young athletes have told them.
"Everything we teach came from me asking players questions," Brown says. "When you have a trusting relationship with kids, you get honest answers. When you listen to young people speak from their heart, they offer a perspective that really resonates.”
So what’s the takeaway for parents?
"Sports is one of few places in a child's life where a parent can say, 'This is your thing,’ ” Miller says.
"Athletics is one of the best ways for young people to take risks and deal with failure because the consequences aren’t fatal, they aren’t permanent. We’re talking about a game. So they usually don’t want or need a parent to rescue them when something goes wrong.
"Once you as a parent are assured the team is a safe environment, release your child to the coach and to the game. That way all successes are theirs, all failures are theirs."
And discussion on the ride home can be about a song on the radio or where to stop for a bite to eat. By the time you pull into the driveway, the relationship ought to have transformed from keenly interested spectator and athlete back to parent and child:
"We loved watching you play. … Now, how about that homework?"
FIVE SIGNS OF A NIGHTMARE SPORTS PARENT
Nearly 75 percent of kids who play organized sports quit by age 13. Some find that their skill level hits a plateau and the game is no longer fun. Others simply discover other interests. But too many promising young athletes turn away from sports because their parents become insufferable.
Even professional athletes can behave inappropriately when it comes to their children. David Beckham was recently ejected from a youth soccer field for questioning an official. New Orleans radio host Bobby Hebert, a former NFL quarterback, publicly dressed down LSU football coach Les Miles after Alabama defeated LSU in the BCS title game last month. Hebert was hardly unbiased: His son had recently lost his starting position at LSU.
Mom or dad, so loving and rational at home, can transform into an ogre at a game. A lot of kids internally reach the conclusion that if they quit the sport, maybe they'll get their dad or mom back.
As a sports parent, this is what you don't want to become. This is what you want to avoid:
• Overemphasizing sports at the expense of sportsmanship: The best athletes keep their emotions in check and perform at an even keel, win or lose. Parents demonstrative in showing displeasure during a contest are sending the wrong message. Encouragement is crucial -- especially when things aren’t going well on the field.
• Having different goals than your child: Brown and Miller suggest jotting down a list of what you want for your child during their sport season. Your son or daughter can do the same. Vastly different lists are a red flag. Kids generally want to have fun, enjoy time with their friends, improve their skills and win. Parents who write down “getting a scholarship” or “making the All-Star team” probably need to adjust their goals. “Athletes say their parents believe their role on the team is larger than what the athlete knows it to be,” Miller says.
• Treating your child differently after a loss than a win: Almost all parents love their children the same regardless of the outcome of a game. Yet often their behavior conveys something else. "Many young athletes indicate that conversations with their parents after a game somehow make them feel as if their value as a person was tied to playing time or winning,” Brown says.
• Undermining the coach: Young athletes need a single instructional voice during games. That voice has to be the coach. Kids who listen to their parents yelling instruction from the stands or even glancing at their parents for approval from the field are distracted and can't perform at a peak level. Second-guessing the coach on the ride home is just as insidious.
• Living your own athletic dream through your child: A sure sign is the parent taking credit when the child has done well. “We worked on that shot for weeks in the driveway,” or “You did it just like I showed you” Another symptom is when the outcome of a game means more to a parent than to the child. If you as a parent are still depressed by a loss when the child is already off playing with friends, remind yourself that it’s not your career and you have zero control over the outcome.
FIVE SIGNS OF AN IDEAL SPORTS PARENT
Let’s hear it for the parents who do it right. In many respects, Brown and Miller say, it’s easier to be an ideal sports parent than a nightmare. “It takes less effort,” Miller says. “Sit back and enjoy.” Here’s what to do:
• Cheer everybody on the team, not just your child: Parents should attend as many games as possible and be supportive, yet allow young athletes to find their own solutions. Don’t feel the need to come to their rescue at every crisis. Continue to make positive comments even when the team is struggling.
• Model appropriate behavior: Contrary to the old saying, children do as you do, not as you say. When a parent projects poise, control and confidence, the young athlete is likely to do the same. And when a parent doesn’t dwell on a tough loss, the young athlete will be enormously appreciative.
• Know what is suitable to discuss with the coach: The mental and physical treatment of your child is absolutely appropriate. So is seeking advice on ways to help your child improve. And if you are concerned about your child’s behavior in the team setting, bring that up with the coach. Taboo topics: Playing time, team strategy, and discussing team members other than your child.
• Know your role: Everyone at a game is either a player, a coach, an official or a spectator. “It’s wise to choose only one of those roles at a time,” Brown says. “Some adults have the false impression that by being in a crowd, they become anonymous. People behaving poorly cannot hide.” Here’s a clue: If your child seems embarrassed by you, clean up your act.
• Be a good listener and a great encourager: When your child is ready to talk about a game or has a question about the sport, be all ears. Then provide answers while being mindful of avoiding becoming a nightmare sports parent. Above all, be positive. Be your child's biggest fan. "Good athletes learn better when they seek their own answers," Brown says.
And, of course, don’t be sparing with those magic words: "I love watching you play."
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Praise The Work, Not The Winning
Acknowledging the struggle gives it value, says Paul Tough, author of How Children Succeed. This can nurture a work ethic.
So say something when you see your child studying. Later, when the kid brings home a stellar report card, make sure he or she notices the connection: "I guess all that studying paid off, huh?"
So say something when you see your child studying. Later, when the kid brings home a stellar report card, make sure he or she notices the connection: "I guess all that studying paid off, huh?"
A Watched Pot(belly) Never Grows
From David Katz, M.D., Yale-Griffin Prevention Research Center:
"In a study from the University of North Carolina, people who weighed themselves daily lost 6.5 percent of their fat in six months. Those who didn't weigh in lost less. If watching the scale drives you nuts, try some other self-monitoring trick, like keeping a food diary and exercise log."
"In a study from the University of North Carolina, people who weighed themselves daily lost 6.5 percent of their fat in six months. Those who didn't weigh in lost less. If watching the scale drives you nuts, try some other self-monitoring trick, like keeping a food diary and exercise log."
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