More from Mr. Positivity:
"The article answers 'Where can I get help?' like so:
For help to quit smoking, call the Illinois Quitline at 1-866-784-8937.
But where can non-smokers get help?
For help to hold your breath for long periods of time, do a Google search."
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Smoking, Part 2
Someone responded to Mr. Positivity for the first time ever, in response to a post about smoking:
"Eventually smoking will be stamped out, resulting in massive tax increases for non-smokers, and increased revenue for the smokers. Yay, everybody wins!!"
It's like having my own e-paparazzi.
"Eventually smoking will be stamped out, resulting in massive tax increases for non-smokers, and increased revenue for the smokers. Yay, everybody wins!!"
It's like having my own e-paparazzi.
Bears Maul Lions 226-0
Detroit -- In a season of Madden domination, this game dominated all others as the Chicago Bears obliterated the Detroit Lions 226-0.
Las Vegas stopped laying odds on Bears games weeks ago, as their 10-0 victory parade has averaged 148 points per game offensively against just 3 on defense. No team has scored against Chicago in the last five weeks.
While the winner was a foregone conclusion, no one could have expected an explosion (or implosion, depending on the point of view) that surpassed any previously recorded football game. The results at last relieve from humiliation the descendants of the Cumberland College Bulldogs, who had set the previous record for futility against Georgia Tech on the losing end of a 222-0 score in 1916.
Cedric Benson (9 carries, 176 yards, 5 touchdowns) opened the scoring 13 seconds into the contest with a 57 yard scamper down the left sideline, and the quarter ended with a pair of deep touchdown strikes to Devin Hester (5 receptions, 223 yards, 5 receiving touchdowns) for 82 and 41 yards. For good measure, he returned two punts for touchdowns just over a minute into the second quarter. Hester's four punt returns, all for touchdowns, averaged 60 yards and equal the NFL record for a season for anyone not named Devin Hester.
"There's not much more you can say about that. Nine touchdowns is a pretty good day's work," said coach Joe McDonald.
Detroit coach Mike Martz, who had instructed punter Micah Knorr to kick it out of bounds, grew visibly more frustrated with each successive punt. "*&#@! Knorr! *&#@! %&*-@#!" he elaborated during his post-game conference while repeatedly fracturing both hands and his glasses on the podium before blindly misstepping off the platform and tumbling into the crowd of laughing media.
While the Lions amassed 643 yards of offense, 514 of those came on kickoff returns following the Bears' 30 touchdowns. On the other hand, the Bears compiled 1,086 yards, 29 from kick returns.
While quarterback Rex Grossman (18-22, 13 TDs, 644 yards) cruised to another perfect quarterback rating, spreading the wealth among seven different receivers, Detroit's tandem of Jon Kitna and Chris Simms each garnered ratings of 0.0. Among the pair's 55 pass attempts, more than twice as many were intercepted by Bears (17) as were caught by their own teammates (8). In particular, Detroit's Roy Williams caught 5 balls for 96 yards, while cornerback Nathan Vasher stole 5 passes for 141 yards and 3 touchdowns. A reporter's joking question to Martz about trading for Vasher resulted in a hailstorm of spit, microphone wires, loose debris, and Martz' hat.
The interception total, as well as the 275 interception return yards and seven touchdowns, set NFL records. All of the touchdowns came in the second half. Detroit also lost two fumbles for good measure.
In the closing seconds of the third quarter, Knorr gave the Lions a moment in the sun (so to speak, within the dome of Ford Field) by punting out of bounds at the Bears' 1-yard line. To that point Chicago's offense and defense had scored three touchdowns apiece in the quarter.
"Couldn't let 'em tie us," Grossman smirked, promptly hooking up with Rashied Davis on a record-setting 99-yard bomb as time expired. Martz, who'd sent a full blitz hoping to put some points on the board with a safety, actually attempted to tackle the wide-open Davis in a fit of madness. Before he could reach Davis, the cords on his headphones snapped his head back, sending him flailing like a Charlie Brown field goal try. His post-game neck brace made for a handy projectile when reminded of the moment.
By the fourth quarter, the listless Lions engaged in sheer masochism. Abandoning the running game entirely caused the clock to slow down, enabling the Monsters of the Midway to tally 92 points in setting another record, including six touchdowns during one jaw-dropping 76 second stretch.
Perhaps sensing a chance at infamy as the clock expired, Simms lobbed a wounded duck into the arms of the Bears' Lance Briggs at the 40-yard line, then watched him lumber in and out of tackles to score the touchdown that surpassed Georgia Tech's mark. No trace of Simms could be found for questioning after the contest, a note which drew a brief, manically sinister smile on Martz's face before acting as if he didn't know Simms' whereabouts.
Even on this day, the Lions weren't completely swept, mustering a tie in the key stat of time of possession, giving McDonald some pause.
"Improvement has always been our goal. Room for improvement is what keeps this job exciting."
If that's true, Martz might be in the market for less exciting work, like kicking the walls of coal mines.
Las Vegas stopped laying odds on Bears games weeks ago, as their 10-0 victory parade has averaged 148 points per game offensively against just 3 on defense. No team has scored against Chicago in the last five weeks.
While the winner was a foregone conclusion, no one could have expected an explosion (or implosion, depending on the point of view) that surpassed any previously recorded football game. The results at last relieve from humiliation the descendants of the Cumberland College Bulldogs, who had set the previous record for futility against Georgia Tech on the losing end of a 222-0 score in 1916.
Cedric Benson (9 carries, 176 yards, 5 touchdowns) opened the scoring 13 seconds into the contest with a 57 yard scamper down the left sideline, and the quarter ended with a pair of deep touchdown strikes to Devin Hester (5 receptions, 223 yards, 5 receiving touchdowns) for 82 and 41 yards. For good measure, he returned two punts for touchdowns just over a minute into the second quarter. Hester's four punt returns, all for touchdowns, averaged 60 yards and equal the NFL record for a season for anyone not named Devin Hester.
"There's not much more you can say about that. Nine touchdowns is a pretty good day's work," said coach Joe McDonald.
Detroit coach Mike Martz, who had instructed punter Micah Knorr to kick it out of bounds, grew visibly more frustrated with each successive punt. "*&#@! Knorr! *&#@! %&*-@#!" he elaborated during his post-game conference while repeatedly fracturing both hands and his glasses on the podium before blindly misstepping off the platform and tumbling into the crowd of laughing media.
While the Lions amassed 643 yards of offense, 514 of those came on kickoff returns following the Bears' 30 touchdowns. On the other hand, the Bears compiled 1,086 yards, 29 from kick returns.
While quarterback Rex Grossman (18-22, 13 TDs, 644 yards) cruised to another perfect quarterback rating, spreading the wealth among seven different receivers, Detroit's tandem of Jon Kitna and Chris Simms each garnered ratings of 0.0. Among the pair's 55 pass attempts, more than twice as many were intercepted by Bears (17) as were caught by their own teammates (8). In particular, Detroit's Roy Williams caught 5 balls for 96 yards, while cornerback Nathan Vasher stole 5 passes for 141 yards and 3 touchdowns. A reporter's joking question to Martz about trading for Vasher resulted in a hailstorm of spit, microphone wires, loose debris, and Martz' hat.
The interception total, as well as the 275 interception return yards and seven touchdowns, set NFL records. All of the touchdowns came in the second half. Detroit also lost two fumbles for good measure.
In the closing seconds of the third quarter, Knorr gave the Lions a moment in the sun (so to speak, within the dome of Ford Field) by punting out of bounds at the Bears' 1-yard line. To that point Chicago's offense and defense had scored three touchdowns apiece in the quarter.
"Couldn't let 'em tie us," Grossman smirked, promptly hooking up with Rashied Davis on a record-setting 99-yard bomb as time expired. Martz, who'd sent a full blitz hoping to put some points on the board with a safety, actually attempted to tackle the wide-open Davis in a fit of madness. Before he could reach Davis, the cords on his headphones snapped his head back, sending him flailing like a Charlie Brown field goal try. His post-game neck brace made for a handy projectile when reminded of the moment.
By the fourth quarter, the listless Lions engaged in sheer masochism. Abandoning the running game entirely caused the clock to slow down, enabling the Monsters of the Midway to tally 92 points in setting another record, including six touchdowns during one jaw-dropping 76 second stretch.
Perhaps sensing a chance at infamy as the clock expired, Simms lobbed a wounded duck into the arms of the Bears' Lance Briggs at the 40-yard line, then watched him lumber in and out of tackles to score the touchdown that surpassed Georgia Tech's mark. No trace of Simms could be found for questioning after the contest, a note which drew a brief, manically sinister smile on Martz's face before acting as if he didn't know Simms' whereabouts.
Even on this day, the Lions weren't completely swept, mustering a tie in the key stat of time of possession, giving McDonald some pause.
"Improvement has always been our goal. Room for improvement is what keeps this job exciting."
If that's true, Martz might be in the market for less exciting work, like kicking the walls of coal mines.
Top 5 Habits to Increase Longevity
This "Dr. Mao" article is interesting in light of our New Year's resolutions. The first three are covered, the last two not so much by me, though Dena did have the fourth one about water on her resolution list. I think I'll add that one to mine! Meditation is easy to do on paper, and the one that'd take the most discipline in the McDonald household.
------
Is it really possible for anyone to live happily to 100? The good news is that your body was designed to be 100 - you just have to get out of the way.
Getting out of the way means taking an honest look at the habits and lifestyle you are living with today. Most of us have developed habits that limit our true health potential.
But don't let these bad habits of the past discourage you - it is never too late to make new choices. What you did in the past can be changed, and your body will respond in kind. What matters is what you do from this moment forward.
Top 5 Daily Habits for Your Longevity
It takes 14 to 21 days of repetitive behavior to form a new pattern in your brain. Once the pattern is formed, it becomes an automatic behavioral response.
As you develop new healthy habits, they will begin to replace bad habits. These healthy lifelong habits are adapted straight from the time-tested traditions practiced by centenarians all around the world, and I can say with certainty that they will transform and rejuvenate you!
Eat five small meals a day.
In the Western culture, meals are taken three times a day, but it is much better to eat five smaller meals. When you eat smaller portions five times a day, you deliver a steady stream of nutrients, blood sugar, and energy to your body throughout the day.
Additionally, eating this way is less taxing on the digestive and metabolic systems and also reduces your risk of heart disease.
Climb the stairs instead of using elevators.
The health benefits of a daily exercise program cannot be stressed enough. Regular exercise can help promote physiological well-being, strengthen the immune system, maintain joint mobility, increase energy - and the list goes on.
Look for opportunities all through your day to work in physical activity. Power-walk, run, or ride your bike instead of driving. Begin a daily tai chi practice. Join a gym and actually go! Practice safely and watch your health results pile up.
Laugh it up!
We know from research that laughter and joy boost immune functions, especially the production of the natural killer cells that help protect the body from illness and cancer. Laughter also increases the release of endorphins, compounds that give you a sense of well-being, in your brain. Without a doubt, joyful people live longer and healthier lives.
Drink 8 glasses of water every day.
Water is essential for all healthy body functions. Centenarians from around the globe cite their native water as the source of their health and longevity - and the scientists agree with them. What they all have in common is pure water sources located far from any city, free from chemicals and toxins.
Choose filtered water; the best filtration processes are the ones that use activated charcoal, which removes the impurities but leaves the water-soluble minerals. Also, do not store water in plastic containers because the polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) can leach into the water.
Unwind with meditation.
Stress is the root cause of most of the diseases that shorten our life span. In our modern society stress will continue to increase - unless you find techniques to manage it. Meditation is the best way to release tension and revitalize your being. It teaches you to breathe properly, which is critical for eliminating up to 70% of your body's toxins and wastes. It also quiets your mind, lowers your stress hormones, and teaches self-discipline, which is a necessary attribute to achieving your health and longevity goals.
Try this beginning meditation:
Sit comfortably on a chair or the floor. Breathe naturally and close your eyes. Each time a thought appears, put it inside a balloon and let it fly up into the sky and disappear. Do this until the thoughts are exhausted. After a bit, your body will feel very light, and your mind will become still. The first few times it may take a while, but it will get easier and faster with practice.
I hope you use these healthy habits for years to come! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.
May you live long, live strong, and live happy!
-Dr. Mao
------
Is it really possible for anyone to live happily to 100? The good news is that your body was designed to be 100 - you just have to get out of the way.
Getting out of the way means taking an honest look at the habits and lifestyle you are living with today. Most of us have developed habits that limit our true health potential.
But don't let these bad habits of the past discourage you - it is never too late to make new choices. What you did in the past can be changed, and your body will respond in kind. What matters is what you do from this moment forward.
Top 5 Daily Habits for Your Longevity
It takes 14 to 21 days of repetitive behavior to form a new pattern in your brain. Once the pattern is formed, it becomes an automatic behavioral response.
As you develop new healthy habits, they will begin to replace bad habits. These healthy lifelong habits are adapted straight from the time-tested traditions practiced by centenarians all around the world, and I can say with certainty that they will transform and rejuvenate you!
Eat five small meals a day.
In the Western culture, meals are taken three times a day, but it is much better to eat five smaller meals. When you eat smaller portions five times a day, you deliver a steady stream of nutrients, blood sugar, and energy to your body throughout the day.
Additionally, eating this way is less taxing on the digestive and metabolic systems and also reduces your risk of heart disease.
Climb the stairs instead of using elevators.
The health benefits of a daily exercise program cannot be stressed enough. Regular exercise can help promote physiological well-being, strengthen the immune system, maintain joint mobility, increase energy - and the list goes on.
Look for opportunities all through your day to work in physical activity. Power-walk, run, or ride your bike instead of driving. Begin a daily tai chi practice. Join a gym and actually go! Practice safely and watch your health results pile up.
Laugh it up!
We know from research that laughter and joy boost immune functions, especially the production of the natural killer cells that help protect the body from illness and cancer. Laughter also increases the release of endorphins, compounds that give you a sense of well-being, in your brain. Without a doubt, joyful people live longer and healthier lives.
Drink 8 glasses of water every day.
Water is essential for all healthy body functions. Centenarians from around the globe cite their native water as the source of their health and longevity - and the scientists agree with them. What they all have in common is pure water sources located far from any city, free from chemicals and toxins.
Choose filtered water; the best filtration processes are the ones that use activated charcoal, which removes the impurities but leaves the water-soluble minerals. Also, do not store water in plastic containers because the polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) can leach into the water.
Unwind with meditation.
Stress is the root cause of most of the diseases that shorten our life span. In our modern society stress will continue to increase - unless you find techniques to manage it. Meditation is the best way to release tension and revitalize your being. It teaches you to breathe properly, which is critical for eliminating up to 70% of your body's toxins and wastes. It also quiets your mind, lowers your stress hormones, and teaches self-discipline, which is a necessary attribute to achieving your health and longevity goals.
Try this beginning meditation:
Sit comfortably on a chair or the floor. Breathe naturally and close your eyes. Each time a thought appears, put it inside a balloon and let it fly up into the sky and disappear. Do this until the thoughts are exhausted. After a bit, your body will feel very light, and your mind will become still. The first few times it may take a while, but it will get easier and faster with practice.
I hope you use these healthy habits for years to come! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me.
May you live long, live strong, and live happy!
-Dr. Mao
Flying Cars
My best laugh of the year so far!
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/mean_automakers_dash_nations_hope?utm_source=videomrss_70281
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/mean_automakers_dash_nations_hope?utm_source=videomrss_70281
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Spying on the Schizophrenics
From the Onion, thanks to Jack pointing it out:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_is_the_government
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_is_the_government
State Hoping for a Smooth Transition to Smoke-Free Illinois
Mr. Positivity's blog to this Pantagraph article, regarding Illinois' smoking ban in most public places as of 1/1/08:
Non-smokers will see a slight increase in lifespan from the reduction in second-hand smoke. And smokers will see a slight increase in lifespan from the extra-fresh air outdoors. Everybody wins!
Non-smokers will see a slight increase in lifespan from the reduction in second-hand smoke. And smokers will see a slight increase in lifespan from the extra-fresh air outdoors. Everybody wins!
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