Ear Cleaning: It Sucks, And It's Great

So I got in to have the ear specialist professionally clean my ears, in response to being recently deaf in my right one and all.

It was actually the nurse practitioner who did the work. An aide took some vitals and asked some basic questions. Both of these ladies were fabulous personalities. I must say, I was impressed with OSF's professionalism throughout. Friendly, sociable staff, up-to-date computer systems, clean facilities, etc.

Soon I was reclined back into a chair.

It'll be loud, they cautioned, as one might expect when a vacuum suction tube is inserted to your ear canal. Soon a... well... stop eating for a second... a slurping sound was playing itself out pleasantly in my ear.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see her also lift something which may have been a 10 inch needle, but I preferred to ignore it. Though reflexively I couldn't help but clench shoulders and hands a bit as the sucking and poking sensations continued against my ear drum.

Evidently the build-up of wax in there was too packed. After a good five minutes of this, it wasn't working.

They were sensitive to the fact that I was as tense as if I was lying on hot coals. "Let me know if you need a break," she said.

"It's worth it," I said with the most casual smile I could muster. "No pain, no gain." I probably could've coined a better phrase, since the feelings were more weird than painful. At least for the most part.

It was time to go with chemical weaponry, as they dropped some peroxide down the chute to let things crackle and soften for about ten minutes.

When they got back to work, they soon had a breakthrough. I won't describe the stuff she extracted. Suffice to say I was pleased that it was no longer in my head.

"I can see the eardrum!" she exclaimed.

And, I could hear that clearly. Which was a happy surprise since I'd not been aware of the left ear as a problem.

She made her way over to the deaf one. This is the one I'd assaulted with Debrox solution, extensive water irrigation, and random ear-jiggling for the last week. And it put up a bit of a fuss. Meaning that once it reached the phase where the phantom pointy-thing was jabbing around the canal (which they described later as a bit irritated and red) after five minutes or so, I involuntarily spasmed my shoulder up in defense. Darn.

Fortunately, by that time she'd cleared out most of the debris, and I was fully functional in both ears.

I'd had this done about four years ago. The next one will be much sooner!