Friday, November 30, 2012

The Not-So-Lumberjack

A guy walks into a hardware store and says, "I want a chain saw that will cut down ten trees in an hour."

So the clerk sells him one.

The next day, the customer comes in, upset.

"This chain saw cut down only one little tree in an hour!"

The clerk says, "Let me take a look."

He pulls the starter rope, the saw roars to life, and the customer screams, "What's that noise?"

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Having A Bowl In Texas

A blind man travels to Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed.

"Wow, this bed is big!"

"Everything is big in Texas," says the bellhop.

Later, the man goes downstairs and orders a drink; a mug is placed between his hands.

"Wow, these drinks are big!"

The bartender replies, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a few drinks, the blind man asks where the bathroom is located. The bartender says, "The second door to the right."

The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in.

Scared to death, he shouts, "Don't flush! Don't flush!"

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

A Fitting Skill

"Not only am I getting better at Tetris, but I'm loading more dishes into my dishwasher than I ever thought possible." - Peggy O'Brien

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Funny Presidential Quotes 2

"There are few things harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate." - Barack Obama

Making The Bed

When I was in college I noticed that at the worst moments of my experience, my bed was unmade (it was fairly easy to observe this in a one-room dorm).

So I made my bed every day.

Silly perhaps, but true perhaps?

Personally, I've always found an uptick in happiness following the completion of a small task like balancing the checkbook, getting my hair cut, or putting away the dishes.

Making the bed falls right in line with those. It's easy. It's neat. And it's literally the first success I can achieve when I wake up each morning. Talk about getting off on the right foot!

Last week I read another study which concludes the same thing.

How's yours looking?

Fun With Problems?

"People who enjoy problems do better at solving them."

True enough. In describing my job I tell people that what I do is solve puzzles all day - no two days alike, often there are unfamiliar issues that land on the table.

Still, I'd say for the most part that true problems are named that for a reason, if they were fun then they'd be called something else.

I might turn that phrase around somewhat:

"People who enjoy picturing success do better at working towards it."

Last night I easily hit the sack around 9:00. Today and tomorrow are 12-hour days, and that's often going to be my life for the next few months. I wouldn't ordinarily choose a path like that, but I see it as a small developmental step toward what I want to achieve within the next few years. That long-term picture casts the short-term effort in a happy light.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Softy

I like Hallmark and Lifetime original movies.

I just DVR'd every movie from the Hallmark Christmas movie marathon going on today... though I suppose it really goes on for the next month.

The pattern is so familiar, and usually more cutesy than funny. I'm a rom-com fan so it mostly doesn't matter. I'm a sucker for that one or two scenes with the widowed/orphaned/dying woman/child and the weeping man, with the violins playing in the background.

What can I say. Tis the season to be softy.

A Natural Week In Thanks

Few things help boost the spirit of thankfulness like a holiday designed especially for it.

I'd have to say that the most important aspect of the holiday for me is the two days off work and the extended school break that accompanies it.

Being away from the office simulates for me what it may be like to be my own boss someday. Wake up when the body's ready, sleep until refreshed. Be productive in stretches, play in stretches. Exercise leisurely. Vary the order from day to day as I feel like it. Living this dream is only possible because of the many breaks that God's given to me throughout my academic and working career. All I can think of to justify those future prospects is to celebrate the blessings that are paving the way for it, and to be open to whatever suggestions are laid before me.

One of the ways I read God's intent for me is to listen to and be aware of the changing circumstances around me which might signal the next chapter. After six wonderful months I felt that I had been used to my fullest potential with the church band, and that it was time to move on. Spending extra time with family on Sundays is one of the rewards, and as best I can tell the band will be better off with the opportunity to find a replacement who will fit their growing and changing needs. Meanwhile I've thrived under the chance to get closer to my theater friends Sean and Jennifer Stevens, to meet several other friendly people, and to exercise my singing voice somewhere other than the shower (which has surely been a blessing to Dena, who has probably also enjoyed songs other than the Hairspray soundtrack coming out of the bathroom).

Got to note how funny all of my family households are. Whether it's here, Goodfield, or Bloomingdale, I'm surrounded with crack-ups and good times. With so many disjointed, broken, or uninspiring families in the world, how did I get so lucky as to be inserted into such rich ones? Easy answer.

For example, I fell asleep the afternoon after our first basketball game. When I woke up three hours later (yea it was a great nap), the Christmas tree was up in our living room. Dena is so hard-working, especially for charitable reasons. She spent several hours this week with one friend who was sick, and more with a friend going through a divorce. I could easily list more that she does every week. Last night she started feeling achy and tired... it was the least I could do in thanks to attend to her every need. She brings out the better side of my nature.

With frosty days in play, I'm thankful for our carport. Not a necessity, as we've done some light house hunting this week, but a creature comfort that keeps my toes a little warmer on workday mornings.

Game victory is everywhere this week. Our sophomore basketball team won its Thanksgiving tournament 3-0 including a dramatic overtime game, and the varsity won its first game last night in impressive fashion as well. I think that's the first time I've ever won three games in one day. Then Alabama and Notre Dame took care of business to keep alive a championship showdown possibility. My fantasy basketball team is rocking first place and I've scooped up some great pickups off the free agent waiver wire.

The week off of tutoring was a refreshing break on my mind, and next week I'm not only ready to jump back in but have also picked up a new student to replace one that had dropped off.

We are into December and haven't had a flake of snow so far. When completing the condo association financial reports this week, which continue to project health for the next ten years, it was fine to see the snow removal line item at an all-time low. And of course, it makes for nicer walks to the car.

I'm thankful for all of you, faithful Hidden Bloggers. This innocent journal for good mental health has unexpectedly become a source of some of the same for others, friends and strangers. As long as it gives you a fraction of the happiness to read it as it does me to write it, then God's purpose is being served for us all.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Reaching The Next Level

"Working at the highest level isn't about doing something unprecedented; it's about doing something better."

Whether it's listening, studying, documenting, or loving, there's nearly always a way to improve on something, with enough thought and effort.

At the office I have a team of people who meets every other week to brainstorm for better ways to do things.

At home, some great ideas of come from self-reflection in the quiet moments. It's how I came up with the idea to tutor math in the first place... and then how to find students... and later how to improve at it in several little ways.

The Power Of Small Groups

"Now, when people come to Saddleback and see the giant crowds on the weekends, they think that's our success. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. Ninety-five percent of this church is what happens during the week inside those small groups. The congregation and the small groups are like a one-two punch. You have this big crowd to remind you why you're doing this in the first place, and a small group of close friends to help you focus on how to be faithful. Together, they're like glue. We have over five thousand small groups now. It's the only thing that makes a church this size manageable. Otherwise, I'd work myself to death, and 95 percent of the congregation would never receive the attention they came here looking for." - Rick Warren

Making A Movement

They say that many social movements have three distinct parts:

1. Start: Social habits of friendship and strong ties between close acquaintances

2. Growth: Habits of a community, and weak ties that hold neighborhoods and clans together

3. Endure: Leaders give participants new habits that create a fresh sense of identity and a feeling of ownership

The arrest of bus passenger Rosa Parks was a turning point in the civil rights movement in part because she had developed a broad and deep swath of friends of various income levels and interests. Although it was some lawyers' idea and not hers to challenge the law, she had perhaps unintentionally developed considerable influence through her extraordinary social network.

"Weak ties" are friends-of-friends, people who travel in circles just outside of your usual ones. They're tremendously helpful in opening you up to new opportunities (your closest friends probably know mostly the same people you do), such as to find employment. And if part of a larger community such as a church, they can become a force of positive peer pressure as you strive to make a good impression. This was a key factor in the Summer of Freedom project in 1964, when a thousand white volunteers participated in a mass voter registration of African Americans in the deep South despite the threat (and the actuality) of violence. It was also at the heart of many churches uniting to form a boycott of the bus line that had refused Parks her seat.

Regarding habits, one needs look no further than the example of Rick Warren, founder of Saddleback Church and man of such spiritual influence that he was chosen to give the invocation at a presidential inauguration:

"We've thought long and hard about habitualizing faith, breaking it down into pieces. If you try to scare people into following Christ's example, it's not going to work for too long. The only way you get people to take responsibility for their spiritual maturity is to teach them habits of faith. Once that happens, they become self-feeders. People follow Christ not because you've led them there, but because it's who they are."

His sermons addressed practical issues like "How to Handle Discouragement," "How to Feel Good About Yourself," and so on. It built productive habits that could be practiced immediately. It led to great momentum.






Hey, Ya!

"If you dress a new something in old habits, it's easier for the public to accept it."

There's a story about the song "Hey, Ya!" launched in 2003. At first it was despised by listeners, despite several technical indicators that it had the makings of a hit. So radio stations began slipping it in between well-established popular songs (in some cases, between the same song twice!). And eventually "Hey, Ya!" became a success.

I don't particularly care for folding laundry, but I will do it during the few paused moments after scoring a soccer goal when playing FIFA on my PS2.

Right now, I'm entering receipts into my checkbook. I'm also reading an interesting book. So after reading one page, I enter a receipt. The receipts are more tolerable in between something I'm genuinely enjoying.

And whenever I read something interesting, I pause long enough to blog about it... :)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Repairs Needed At The Love Shack

Our to-do home improvement list!

Electrical outlet in kitchen
Check sconce light at the bottom of basement steps
Light switch in utility room
Repair light bulb in master bedroom closet
General electrical wiring review
Remove or replace garbage disposal; if remove, convert switch to another outlet
Install door handle on bathroom closet door
Replace handle on main bathroom door
Replace handle on driveway side door
Repair leaky bathroom faucet
Repair chain on light fan fixture in office
Paint railing from main to upstairs floor
Add additional outlets (need 3 on north wall of living room, 2 on west wall)
Fix terrain on east side of unit to stop water leakage
Scrape walls of basement
Replace damaged ceiling tiles of basement
Wrap cold water pipes on west side of unit
Get Netflix on T.V.
Replace blinds in kitchen with shades/curtains
Re-attach drawer face to sink cabinet
Remove desk from basement

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

An Excuse To Be Happy

Why not give yourself an excuse to be happy today?

Yesterday was my half birthday. Why not perk up as if it were my actual one? It still reminds me of how great it is to be alive.

And one for us all today: Only one more month until the days start getting longer again!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

2012 FFSB Help Us Help Others Commercial

Yes it sounds like I just drank 10 cups of coffee, but that's the power of technology, and the price of a 30 second radio spot.

Awesome Food Chart

Thanks Mom!

Apples
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints
Apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process
Artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease
Avocados
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea
Beans
Prevents constipation
Helps hemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss
Blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation
Broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps hemorrhoids
Cantaloupe
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system
Carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower
Protects against Prostate Cancer
Combats Breast Cancer
Strengthens bones
Banishes bruises
Guards against heart disease
Cherries
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Ends insomnia
Slows aging process
Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers
Aids digestion
Soothes sore throat
Clears sinuses
Combats Cancer
Boosts immune system
Figs
Promotes weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Fish
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Supports immune system
Flax
Aids digestion
Battles diabetes
Protects your heart
Improves mental health
Boosts immune system
Garlic
Lowers cholesterol
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Fights fungus
Grapefruit
Protects against heart attacks
Promotes Weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Grapes
Saves eyesight
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Enhances blood flow
Protects your heart
Green tea
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Helps stops strokes
Promotes Weight loss
Kills bacteria
Honey
Heals wounds
Aids digestion
Guards against ulcers
Increases energy
Fights allergies
Lemons
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Limes
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Mangoes
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Regulates thyroid
Aids digestion
Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Kills bacteria
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Oats
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Prevents constipation
Smoothes skin
Olive oil
Protects your heart
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Smoothes skin
Onions
Reduce risk of heart attack
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Lowers cholesterol
Fights fungus
Oranges
Supports immune systems
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Straightens respiration

 
Peaches
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
Aids digestion
Helps hemorrhoids
Peanuts
Protects against heart disease
Promotes Weight loss
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Aggravates
Diverticulitis
Pineapple
Strengthens bones
Relieves colds
Aids digestion
Dissolves warts
Blocks diarrhea
Prunes
Slows aging process
Prevents constipation
Boosts memory
Lowers cholesterol
Protects against heart disease
Rice
Protects your heart
Battles diabetes
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
Strawberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Calms stress

 
Sweet potatoes
Saves your eyesight
Lifts mood
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones

 
Tomatoes
Protects prostate
Combats cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart

 
Walnuts
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Lifts mood
Protects against heart disease
Water
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Conquers kidney stones
Smoothes skin

 
Watermelon
Protects prostate
Promotes Weight loss
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ
Combats Colon Cancer
Prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Improves digestion
Wheat bran
Combats Colon Cancer
Prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Improves digestion
Yogurt
Guards against ulcers
Strengthens bones
Lowers cholesterol
Supports immune systems
Aids digestion

A Remedy For Troubles

"When you realize that not only are trouble and suffering inevitable, but serve a definite creative purpose as well you are upgrading your philosophy of human existence."

I'd personally interpret "creative purpose" to mean the lessons that we can learn from those patches of time where things go wrong.

What can I learn from the interpersonal goof-ups when I let my anger get the best of me? A philosophy of "Is it really that bad, couldn't it be much worse?" has helped me a lot in times like these.

The disappointment of losing a basketball game last night leaves a bit of a hangover, left unchecked. I decided to bury it by doing a little grocery shopping. Amazing how simple acts of progress can wipe away a dirty memory.

There's also the interpretation that "creative purpose" is the purpose of the creator of the universe.

The stories of suffering of others touches me easily, in ways that make me profoundly grateful for my own life.

Just the other day I heard of a woman whose childhood was troubled by a drunken father who eventually caused her mother to raise the three girls on her own. Those days of working two jobs and managing all the parenting responsibilities sound consuming in ways that I've never had to endure.

Plus, all troubles are temporary. They'll pass.

Monday, November 19, 2012

9 Year Old Girl Football Star - Sam Gordon - Football Player Highlights ...

NCHS Sophomore Boys Basketball 2012 Thanksgiving Tournament Schedule

A chance to see the actuarial coach in his natural habitat, in this case Bloomington High School for the tournament it sponsors.


SESSION 1     NOVEMBER 23, 2012
                                    1:00 BLOOMINGTON VS. NORMAL COMMUNITY
                                    2:30 MORTON VS. NORMAL WEST

SESSION 2    NOVEMBER 24, 2012
                                    9:30 BLOOMINGTON VS. MORTON
11:00 NORMAL COMMUNITY VS. NORMAL WEST

SESSION 3     NOVEMBER 24, 2012
                                    2:30 MORTON VS. NORMAL COMMUNITY
                                    4:00 BLOOMINGTON VS. NORMAL WEST

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Notre Dame, Alabama Ranked 1, 2 In Polls

NEW YORK -- Surprise! Surprise!

Two straight weekends of seismic upsets not only sent tremors throughout college football from the Deep South to the Pacific Northwest, they've all but cleared the way for two marquee teams and best-known brands to play for the national title.

Notre Dame was No. 1 in The Associated Press college football poll released Sunday and Alabama was No. 2 after a pair of stunning Saturday night upsets rearranged the rankings. When the BCS standings came out later Sunday, they lined up the same way.

Notre Dame needs only to beat struggling rival Southern California (7-4), with its star quarterback injured, to secure a spot in the BCS title game for the first time. In the 76-year history of the AP poll, Notre Dame has been crowned national champion by the media panel eight times, the last in 1988.

"It's like being selected for the playoffs," Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly said. "Now you know you're in if you take care of business."

The only other school with as many AP championships is Alabama. The Crimson Tide potentially has two more games left. The Tide is at home Saturday against rival Auburn (3-8) and, if it beats the

Tigers, advances to the Southeastern Conference championship game against No. 3 Georgia on Dec. 1.

Win that one, too, and it will be Notre Dame and Alabama playing in Miami on Jan. 7 for the championship.

Sounds simple enough. But when it comes to college football, the last two weeks of the season have been a consistent reminder that it's best to expect the unexpected.

Oregon and Kansas State were in the front row of the BCS race as of Saturday. All the Ducks and Wildcats had to do was win the rest of their games and they would have played for the BCS crown. No easy task for sure, but considering they had been walloping opponents, winning their first 10 games by an average of more than three touchdowns per game, it looked like a solid bet that they'd close the deal.

A week earlier, the same was said about Alabama -- before it was upset at home by Texas A&M, a loss that cleared the way for Oregon to be No. 1 for the first time this season.

Saturday's first shocker came when then-No. 2 Kansas State lost at Baylor after barely putting up a fight.

The Bears (5-5) ran out to a 28-7 lead behind Nick Florence, the quarterback who replaced last year's Heisman trophy winner Robert Griffin III, and won 52-24. Not only did the Wildcats lose all hopes of playing for a national championship, its much-heralded quarterback, Collin Klein, lost his front-runner status in this year's Heisman chase.

This was all wonderful news for Notre Dame, which was sitting at No. 3, had shut out Wake Forest earlier in the day, and needed only Oregon or Kansas State to lose to have a chance for the national title.

One down, one to go.

While Kansas State was lamenting its lost opportunity in Waco, Texas, over in Eugene, Ore., Stanford was pushing around the top-ranked Ducks as no opponent had this season. The Cardinal (9-2) tied up the score with 1:35 remaining in regulation on a touchdown pass that many Ducks fans likely will be seething over for years.

Tight end Zach Ertz caught Kevin Hogan's pass, juggled it on the way down, landed on an Oregon defender, and rolled out of bounds. Incomplete was the ruling on the field. After video review, the call was overturned. TD Stanford, 14-all.

In overtime, Oregon missed a field goal try, Stanford made one, and the upset was complete: Stanford 17, Oregon 14.

If they listened hard, Stanford players might have heard the Alabama fans yelling and screaming from clear across the country.

Alabama wide receiver Amari Cooper tweeted as the dominoes were falling: "I don't think I've ever been this excited before haha."

The Crimson Tide wasn't the only SEC team lifted by the upset, but Bama benefited most. A week after giving up control of the national championship race, the Tide is back in charge, looking for a third BCS title in four seasons. A win would be seven in a row for the Southeastern Conference.

If Alabama can get past lowly Auburn on Saturday, and Georgia can avoid a K-State-like loss to Georgia Tech (6-5), the Tide and Bulldogs game will essentially be a national semifinal, with the winner advancing to the BCS title game.

No. 6 Florida (10-1), another SEC team, has a chance now, too. The Gators play No. 10 Florida State (10-1) in Tallahassee on Saturday, and the Seminoles think they have a shot to reach the BCS title game as well.

Oregon slipped to No. 5 in the rankings, and probably believes it can still get a second chance, the way Alabama did, but time is running out. Same goes for No. 7 Kansas State.

A Notre Dame-Alabama BCS championship game would mark the first meeting between the storied programs since 1987, and the biggest since the 1973 Sugar Bowl.

That year, coach Bear Bryant's Crimson Tide was No. 1 and Ara Parseghian's Irish were No. 3 when they met in New Orleans. The lead changed hands six times and Notre Dame won it 24-23 and was voted No. 1 in the poll to win the national championship.

Now the question is: With two more weeks to go in college football's regular season, can the Irish and Tide calm the chaos and set up what could be the most-hyped national championship game in history?

Stay tuned.