The Case Of The Sleepless Singer

"The final mystery is oneself." - Oscar Wilde

Who can understand people's sleep patterns? I could be a bit more disciplined in the way I structure mealtimes, watch T.V. and so on so that my body chemistry is ready for sleep when bedtime arrives. More typically I'll do a bit of snacking close to then, turn on a comedy and drift off to sleep without trouble. Like the tides, though, there will usually be a night in there where for some reason the motor just keeps running. The good news is that it used to run with various worries about tomorrow... nowadays thanks to some life choices that's a non-issue. Still, like last night, sometimes I'll finally conk out around 4 a.m. and run on fumes for a day. When those late-night surges happen I've learned to stroll downstairs and either doodle on the computer or play some songs on the guitar to unwind. I'd be interested in others' clues or tricks of the trade to unlock the mystery of sleepless nights!

Health Care Bill

It's not what you're thinking, I literally mean a bill that I received for my health care... specifically the chalazion (bump) removed from my eyelid. $500 worth of work (recall it took about a half hour) in all. My cost: $80.

I like my health care plan!

Sharp As A Sponge

"We're not the brightest tools in the shed." - Doug Mientkiewicz, on his Red Sox teammates

And For Losing Streaks It's Just The Opposite

"The secret to keeping winning streaks going is to maximize the victories while minimizing the defeats." - John Lowenstein

And He Loves Swimming, Except For The Water

"The only problem I have in the outfield is with fly balls." - Carmelo Martinez

Literally Funny

Baseball players accidentally moonlighting as comedians:

"All I'm asking for is what I want." - Rickey Henderson

"Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean." - Pedro Guerrero

Better Ask My Wife How Many Kids I Have, Too

Steve Balboni was a slugging first baseman for the Kansas City Royals:

Balboni: Hitting your first grand slam is a thrill. I'll always remember this.

Reporter: You hit one two years ago.

Balboni: (Pause) You're right. I guess I forgot about that one.