Working in an actuarial department is like driving on a freeway for the first time.
You've aced driver's ed, the written exam, eye test, local driving. Bring it on!
The on-ramp puts you in the slow lane.
All the off-ramps are on the left side of the road, so you need to get over.
You glance up into your rearview mirror, but there is no rearview mirror. Or side mirror.
You whip your head over your shoulder and see a car that's come out of nowhere, riding your bumper closely enough to shake hands with the driver.
You smartly turn on the left turn signal, make the lane-change arm gesture for good measure, and ease into the next lane.
At least, until you hear the horn blare from the truck in the next lane.
Snapping your wheel back, you peer to your left and notice:
- each lane to the left is faster than the last one
- each lane to the left has successively bigger vehicles
- there are a thousand lanes
A cracking sound jolts your attention forward. Your windshield is all spider cracks and blurry images. No clue as to how it happened.
How did the fuel gauge get down to "E"?
Why is it so hot in here?
Brake lights ahead! Stop!
Horns from behind! Go!
Oof! Where'd that speed bump come from? Where was the sign?
Your cell phone rings. It's your driver's ed instructor, calling from his semi in the far left hand lane. You see him waving as he speeds away.
"We need to get off at the next exit in a half mile. See you there!" Click.
Right about then is when a bird explodes against the side of your head in a flurry, feathery cloud. You can just barely make out the sound of passing motorists screaming with laughter.
You pull off to the shoulder and park.
The cell phone rings. He's laughing.
"Why did you pull off to the shoulder and park?"
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