Wednesday, January 7, 2015

27 Things Illinoisans Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners

By Cassie Sheets:

1. Everyone In Chicago Is Living In Their Own Little World

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user s_y_s
Chicagoans are a little out of touch with the rest of Illinois. Probably because they never actually leave the Chicago metro area. Literally… never.

2. But The Rest Of Illinois Has To Put Up With Their Decisions

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: wiffelgif.com
Even though Chicagoans don’t care about the rest of Illinois, everyone else in Illinois is forced to care about them. Mostly because every statewide political decision is made in Chicago.

3. In Fact, Some People Wish Chicago Was Just A Separate State

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: gifbay.com
Well… they do more than wishing. In 2011, downstate politicians proposed just that—to make Chicago the 51st state.

4. Giordano’s Pizzeria Is Totally Overrated

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user adam_jones
No one needs that much cheese. No one ever needs that much cheese.

5. But A Dog From Portillo’s Lives Up To The Hype

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user cgtmouse
There is literally no better fast food in the world than Portillo’s. Mention it in Northern Illinois, and everyone will start raving.

6. You’re Required To Choose Between The Cubs Or Sox

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user delusionalcubsfan
If you’re a baseball fan in Illinois, it might as well be against the law to root for both teams.

7. The Only Exception Is In Southern Illinois

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user keithallison
Southern Illinois residents don’t care about the petty upstate rivalry between the Sox and the Cubs. They’re too busy being super dedicated Cardinals fans.

8. But Everyone Can Agree To Love The Bears

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user soldiersmediacenter
You won’t hear them called “Da Bears” too often outside of Chicago, but every football fan in Illinois cheers for them.

9. Illinoisans Are The Only Ones Who Know What Real Cold Weather Is

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user davidwilson1949
Complaining about the cold isn’t just small talk here. It’s a passion. And everyone from Illinois will insist they, and only they, know what true cold weather is.

10. Someone On LSD Is Not On Drugs

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user allie444
But if it’s rush hour on Lake Shore Drive, they are on a really bad trip.

11. Illinoisans Actually Know What Casimir Pulaski Day Is

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: makeameme.org
But mostly that’s just because they get the first Monday of every March off school.

12. There Are Only Two Seasons… Winter And Construction

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user louisvilleusace
And you can safely bet every dad in the state of Illinois has made that joke at least once (but probably much more than once).

13. Everyone From Northern Illinois Loves Playing Six Degrees Of Al Capone

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Wikipedia user Dannie-Walker/Miami Police Department
The game goes something like this: Did you know Al Capone ate there? Did you know Al Capone got a cavity filled there? Did you know Al Capone ordered someone’s death there?

14. Champaign-Urbana Puts Every Other College Town To Shame

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user derek-and-edith/
The University of Illinois might be the driving force behind the economy, but the fact that so many Illinis stay after graduation means the towns don’t just die completely in the summer months.

15. Illinoisans Knew The New Cast Member Of SNL Before Lorne Michaels

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user David Shankbone
Since all Saturday Night Live seems to do anymore is poach from Second City, odds are Illinoisans saw that new cast member on a little stage before their big screen premiere.

16. Everyone In Illinois Has Taken A Family Vacation To Six Flags

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user intamin10
And they’re always dying to relive the nostalgia, no matter their current age.

17. All Of Your Favorite 80s And 90s Movies Were Shot In Illinois

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: giphy.com
“Breakfast Club”, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, “Groundhog Day”, “Uncle Buck”, “Home Alone”, “Sixteen Candles”… odds are your favorite late 80s or early 90s movie was filmed somewhere in the suburbs of Illinois.

18. Springfield Is Actually Just One Giant Lincoln Museum

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user mrsdkrebs
Springfield is home to Lincoln’s house and an awesome presidential museum, but Springfield residents take it a little further than that. Being a Lincoln impersonator is serious business.

19. Everyone In Illinois Is Just One Of The Guys

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Tumblr user gifsforgomez
If you’re in Illinois, you probably won’t hear “y’all” thrown around too often, but everyone, regardless of gender, is referred to as “you guys.”

20. No, Chicago Isn’t Actually The Capital

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user yodudedan
As much as Chicagoans like to think of themselves as the center of the universe (or at least the center of Illinois), Springfield is the proud capital of Illinois.

21. A Trip To The First McDonald’s Is An Illinois Pilgrimage

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user huddleston
The first McDonald’s in Des Plains may be more museum than restaurant at this point, but a trip to grab a burger and fries is still absolutely essential.

22. So Is A Trip To Indiana To Buy Fireworks

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: giphy.com
At least if you want the really good hand-blowing-off kind of fireworks.

23. Everyone From Southern Illinois Goes To St. Louis More Than Chicago

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user dherholz
When downstate Illinoisans are craving a trip to the big city, they’re not going to drive all the way to their nemesis, Chicago, when St. Louis is right next door.

24. The Fourth Of July Isn’t Just Independence Day

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user kenlund
It’s also when you check the corn to see if it’s knee high by the Fourth of July.

25. Living Entirely Off Of Jimmy John’s Is Totally Normal

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Jimmy John’s via Facebook
Jimmy Johns is actually the perfect sandwich. Super soft bread, no wilted lettuce, and well… the price is a major incentive, especially for all the college students. Plus, they do delivery.

26. Illinoisans Are Still Hoping The Ice Cream Of The Future Catches On

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: Flickr user rbh
Dippin’ Dots were invited by a Southern Illinois University Carbondale graduate in 1987… and still haven’t quite caught on. Maybe Curt Jones was just ahead of his time.

27. Pronouncing The S Is The Worst Crime An Out-Of-Towner Can Commit

27 Things People From Illinois Have To Explain To Out-Of-Towners
Source: giphy.com
If you hiss at the end of Illinois, you’re saying it wrong. Incredibly and horribly wrong.

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