Slivers of eternity - the phrase this blog uses to stake our place in the infinite universe.
Dr. Lance Rocke's sliver was 47 years. Ours intersected for seventeen of them.
As a professional, Dr. Rocke was the model of service. He remembered things about me despite seeing me once a year. I imagined him huddled over a note pad after our appointments, busily scribbling a summary of our conversation. I liked the personal attention.
Lance and I had a bond. He was less than ten years older than me. He was a good student, a sports fan. He attended church but kept an open mind.
Chit-chat's common between professionals. Stylists, dentists, attendants. This was more. For both of us. I'd share how things were going at work and home, about new adventures and plans. He shared about his family and his business, at a level personal enough that we both used our visits as a kind of mini-vacation, I think.
He had a challenging life. A tough divorce. A brush with death years ago. All the challenges of working in the shrinking profits and increasing regulation of the medical field. Along with the challenges of being a business owner.
Years back, when Dena was looking for work, we talked to see if he had any need for an office manager, but not quite. The timing was just a bit off.
One night I called him and left a dinner invitation on the machine. He didn't call back. The timing was just a bit off.
Shortly after his second marriage began he was driving 90 miles each way and paying on multiple mortgages. I wondered if I should give him a call.
I don't know, shouldn't know, the reason for his death. Mostly there is no reason other than whatever God decided. It was too short for me. With a few more gestures, a slight shift in timing, we might have been much closer.
Through the years I occasionally had opportunities to go to other optometrists. I stuck around much longer than I would with other service places. It was all Lance.
At this point I haven't even begun to feel the burden of finding a new doctor. I'm going to be feeling the loss of a friend for a while first.
2 comments:
Joe...
I must echo all of your sentiments about Lance. He was one of my first friends in college during his undergraduate studiesat EIU in Charleston in the fall of 1982. He came to my house on a weekend, and I went to Bloomington and met his fine folks and played tennis with Lance at State Farm Park (He beat me badly, as I recall...). He was the kind of friend that, even though your paths go different ways, you feel the way he touched you personally at many junctures in life. I will miss him, and my heart hurts. It is Tuesday, and I just found out about his passing after working all weekend. I don't know what happened, but the world is a little less of a place to me without him, and it was better while I knew him. Thanks for sharing your post with us.
Brad McVey
Joe and Brad:
I have known Lance for the better part of 20 years and he too made me feel special. He had the ability to reach out to everyone. Unfortunately he would not accept the hands reaching out to help him. I was with him as a friend and confidant the last two months of his life and while the result was predictable, I was always hopeful that it would not be inevitable. There were times when he would take the hand of another and recognize he was not alone but then the demons would hit and he would forget.
When we first met 20 years or so ago, he was not married and we even talked about dating. Such was not to be but we always remained friends to the end. Sometimes though I have to wonder if a different wife and different life could have led him down a better path.
I only take comfort knowing that he is with his mom now. There were several occasions where all he wanted was to "see his mom" and now I'm sure they are together again in heaven.
I pray that from above he can lead Landon and Erika down the right path. Peace I leave with you my friend.
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