Which is Justin Timberlake, and which is an old-timey criminal?
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Actuarial Freeway
Working in an actuarial department is like driving on a freeway for the first time.
You've aced driver's ed, the written exam, eye test, local driving. Bring it on!
The on-ramp puts you in the slow lane.
All the off-ramps are on the left side of the road, so you need to get over.
You glance up into your rearview mirror, but there is no rearview mirror. Or side mirror.
You whip your head over your shoulder and see a car that's come out of nowhere, riding your bumper closely enough to shake hands with the driver.
You smartly turn on the left turn signal, make the lane-change arm gesture for good measure, and ease into the next lane.
At least, until you hear the horn blare from the truck in the next lane.
Snapping your wheel back, you peer to your left and notice:
- each lane to the left is faster than the last one
- each lane to the left has successively bigger vehicles
- there are a thousand lanes
A cracking sound jolts your attention forward. Your windshield is all spider cracks and blurry images. No clue as to how it happened.
How did the fuel gauge get down to "E"?
Why is it so hot in here?
Brake lights ahead! Stop!
Horns from behind! Go!
Oof! Where'd that speed bump come from? Where was the sign?
Your cell phone rings. It's your driver's ed instructor, calling from his semi in the far left hand lane. You see him waving as he speeds away.
"We need to get off at the next exit in a half mile. See you there!" Click.
Right about then is when a bird explodes against the side of your head in a flurry, feathery cloud. You can just barely make out the sound of passing motorists screaming with laughter.
You pull off to the shoulder and park.
The cell phone rings. He's laughing.
"Why did you pull off to the shoulder and park?"
You've aced driver's ed, the written exam, eye test, local driving. Bring it on!
The on-ramp puts you in the slow lane.
All the off-ramps are on the left side of the road, so you need to get over.
You glance up into your rearview mirror, but there is no rearview mirror. Or side mirror.
You whip your head over your shoulder and see a car that's come out of nowhere, riding your bumper closely enough to shake hands with the driver.
You smartly turn on the left turn signal, make the lane-change arm gesture for good measure, and ease into the next lane.
At least, until you hear the horn blare from the truck in the next lane.
Snapping your wheel back, you peer to your left and notice:
- each lane to the left is faster than the last one
- each lane to the left has successively bigger vehicles
- there are a thousand lanes
A cracking sound jolts your attention forward. Your windshield is all spider cracks and blurry images. No clue as to how it happened.
How did the fuel gauge get down to "E"?
Why is it so hot in here?
Brake lights ahead! Stop!
Horns from behind! Go!
Oof! Where'd that speed bump come from? Where was the sign?
Your cell phone rings. It's your driver's ed instructor, calling from his semi in the far left hand lane. You see him waving as he speeds away.
"We need to get off at the next exit in a half mile. See you there!" Click.
Right about then is when a bird explodes against the side of your head in a flurry, feathery cloud. You can just barely make out the sound of passing motorists screaming with laughter.
You pull off to the shoulder and park.
The cell phone rings. He's laughing.
"Why did you pull off to the shoulder and park?"
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
A Great Reason To Be Chicken
Never quit. Chicken Soup for the Soul, was turned down by the first 33 publishers. It has since sold millions of copies worldwide.
Bigger Than Ourselves
Someone told me this morning about the story of tennis great Andre Agassi, who had slid from a young top-ranked star into a surprisingly middle-aged (for a tennis player) afterthought. Then one day while attending his favorite restaurant in New York City, the owner wondered aloud how he'd get his children a college education.
Shortly afterward, Agassi donated enough shares of Nike stock to the owner to provide exactly that. In the glimmer of the restaurant owner's grateful tears, a mission was born.
Agassi started a college preparatory school from scratch. And suddenly his tennis matches were not about his livelihood or reputation. His purpose became to promote the school. His purpose became the education of youth.
In time, at an age when most tennis champions have become ex-champions on a downhill slope, he climbed the charts back to elite ranking.
What is that uniquely personal mission for each of us? Who or what is it that we live for, which drives us more nobly than any pursuit to benefit ourselves? When we find it and hold on tightly, it must be an incredible ride.
Shortly afterward, Agassi donated enough shares of Nike stock to the owner to provide exactly that. In the glimmer of the restaurant owner's grateful tears, a mission was born.
Agassi started a college preparatory school from scratch. And suddenly his tennis matches were not about his livelihood or reputation. His purpose became to promote the school. His purpose became the education of youth.
In time, at an age when most tennis champions have become ex-champions on a downhill slope, he climbed the charts back to elite ranking.
What is that uniquely personal mission for each of us? Who or what is it that we live for, which drives us more nobly than any pursuit to benefit ourselves? When we find it and hold on tightly, it must be an incredible ride.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Finding The Greener Grass
"Successful people create opportunities; they don't just wait for them to happen." - Anonymous
Somewhere not too far away is someone who can use your natural gifts better than those you spend time with today. Find it and make the most of it! There's no lasting value in changing for change's sake, but with thoughtful and patient exploration your horizon can become brighter than it is now.
Somewhere not too far away is someone who can use your natural gifts better than those you spend time with today. Find it and make the most of it! There's no lasting value in changing for change's sake, but with thoughtful and patient exploration your horizon can become brighter than it is now.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Motivating The Bench Players
Huddle up.
By the time our first game arrives, five of you will be picked to start. "Starters," we'll call them in the score book.
Perhaps the starters will feel privileged. It is a significant role. They may spend thirty minutes on the court, more than any other player. They will probably score more points than their teammates.
They are far, far from the most important players on the team.
They say it takes ten hands to make a basket. This saying makes a key point, that no single player would stand a chance against a five-person team. Teammates and teamwork are required to succeed. Assists are as valuable as baskets.
However, the saying understates the number of hands considerably.
This team will have forty practices together, twice the number of scheduled games. Games are less than 40 minutes long, while practices are 80 or more.
In all, spectators will see less than a fifth of our team's action. If they remember the names of anyone on the team, it may well be the starters.
Gentlemen, basketball is a fantastic game. It creates top physical condition, close relationships, and fun.
I especially love it because it is teaches many of life's harshest lessons well before you get a chance to fail them when it counts.
You will feel disrespected by opponents, opposing fans, and referees.
You will feel disrespected by your own teammates and coaches.
You will be outscored in some games.
Your hard work will often go unnoticed.
Your pain will often be unappreciated.
You will be criticized by your coach in front of your teammates.
You will be criticized by your teammates.
You will be frustrated by referees' mistakes, your teammates' mistakes, and your own mistakes.
Your limits will be exposed, and you will be judged.
You will be exhausted and irritable.
You will disagree. You will be powerless.
And you will spend time on the bench.
You may be on the bench when you're sure you could outplay a teammate who's on the floor.
You may not be cheered by our fans all season long.
Is it worth it?
Some day you will need to work to survive. You may need to work in order for your loved ones to survive.
You can read from the above list of lessons and easily substitute the names of family, friends, bosses, co-workers, law enforcement or countless others into those harsh realities. People will fail you, you will fail you, you will fail others. Your situation will seem unfair.
You will be tempted to lash out in anger. To wallow in pity. To give up. To dig a hole so deep that it becomes a grave.
In those moments, you may remember basketball.
It could save you.
If, that is, you choose to learn how to win.
This is the message to the bench players.
You do realize that we are ALL bench players, don't you. All of us will spend time on the bench.
I believe the bench is a great place to be. That's why I'm here.
Ten hands alone do not make a basket. How good can the starters be by themselves? We will never score our best if they play every minute, no matter how good their condition. A five-man team has no chance if one gets hurt.
How good can five players be without someone to play against in the practices? And how good can five players be if they play against poor players in practices? This is 80% of the season!
Some of you may get the "glory," as others would describe it in the papers. If you measure yourself by that type of "glory," you'll lose a lot in life, maybe even become a "loser" by the world's standards.
Because winning is not outscoring teams from other schools. That is both beyond our control and also ignorant, since it ignores the vast majority of our season.
No, winning is playing to the best of our ability, within the roles that we find ourselves. Because in life, not all roles that we play will be our favorite. And most of them will not be combined with fun and good exercise like basketball.
You have different strengths. Shooting. Dribbling. Defense. Rebounding. Jumping. Passing. Leadership. Speed. Intelligence. You all have weaknesses. Your package, your role may be to push the starters to their limits in practice, so that they are not overwhelmed in games.
You will all fill a role on the bench with me as well. In most gyms, the bench is our only source of encouragement and optimism. If we do not practice encouragement, including me, then we will fail at it during games both on the court and from the bench. And in basketball and in life, that is perhaps the greatest failure of all.
As long as you choose to play for this team, realize that the bench is a place of honor.
We who sit there have earned that seat through an eager desire to succeed.
We have worked, sweated, struggled and grown in ways that will never be fully seen or appreciated by a crowd, especially for most of us as individuals.
What they will see is our standard of victory - an entire team that hustles, shares, and cheers each other on during each moment on the court.
Our goal is to be victorious every day of the season, and whether or not we outscore another team that day, to leave the court with our heads held high.
Our goal is to become better men.
By the time our first game arrives, five of you will be picked to start. "Starters," we'll call them in the score book.
Perhaps the starters will feel privileged. It is a significant role. They may spend thirty minutes on the court, more than any other player. They will probably score more points than their teammates.
They are far, far from the most important players on the team.
They say it takes ten hands to make a basket. This saying makes a key point, that no single player would stand a chance against a five-person team. Teammates and teamwork are required to succeed. Assists are as valuable as baskets.
However, the saying understates the number of hands considerably.
This team will have forty practices together, twice the number of scheduled games. Games are less than 40 minutes long, while practices are 80 or more.
In all, spectators will see less than a fifth of our team's action. If they remember the names of anyone on the team, it may well be the starters.
Gentlemen, basketball is a fantastic game. It creates top physical condition, close relationships, and fun.
I especially love it because it is teaches many of life's harshest lessons well before you get a chance to fail them when it counts.
You will feel disrespected by opponents, opposing fans, and referees.
You will feel disrespected by your own teammates and coaches.
You will be outscored in some games.
Your hard work will often go unnoticed.
Your pain will often be unappreciated.
You will be criticized by your coach in front of your teammates.
You will be criticized by your teammates.
You will be frustrated by referees' mistakes, your teammates' mistakes, and your own mistakes.
Your limits will be exposed, and you will be judged.
You will be exhausted and irritable.
You will disagree. You will be powerless.
And you will spend time on the bench.
You may be on the bench when you're sure you could outplay a teammate who's on the floor.
You may not be cheered by our fans all season long.
Is it worth it?
Some day you will need to work to survive. You may need to work in order for your loved ones to survive.
You can read from the above list of lessons and easily substitute the names of family, friends, bosses, co-workers, law enforcement or countless others into those harsh realities. People will fail you, you will fail you, you will fail others. Your situation will seem unfair.
You will be tempted to lash out in anger. To wallow in pity. To give up. To dig a hole so deep that it becomes a grave.
In those moments, you may remember basketball.
It could save you.
If, that is, you choose to learn how to win.
This is the message to the bench players.
You do realize that we are ALL bench players, don't you. All of us will spend time on the bench.
I believe the bench is a great place to be. That's why I'm here.
Ten hands alone do not make a basket. How good can the starters be by themselves? We will never score our best if they play every minute, no matter how good their condition. A five-man team has no chance if one gets hurt.
How good can five players be without someone to play against in the practices? And how good can five players be if they play against poor players in practices? This is 80% of the season!
Some of you may get the "glory," as others would describe it in the papers. If you measure yourself by that type of "glory," you'll lose a lot in life, maybe even become a "loser" by the world's standards.
Because winning is not outscoring teams from other schools. That is both beyond our control and also ignorant, since it ignores the vast majority of our season.
No, winning is playing to the best of our ability, within the roles that we find ourselves. Because in life, not all roles that we play will be our favorite. And most of them will not be combined with fun and good exercise like basketball.
You have different strengths. Shooting. Dribbling. Defense. Rebounding. Jumping. Passing. Leadership. Speed. Intelligence. You all have weaknesses. Your package, your role may be to push the starters to their limits in practice, so that they are not overwhelmed in games.
You will all fill a role on the bench with me as well. In most gyms, the bench is our only source of encouragement and optimism. If we do not practice encouragement, including me, then we will fail at it during games both on the court and from the bench. And in basketball and in life, that is perhaps the greatest failure of all.
As long as you choose to play for this team, realize that the bench is a place of honor.
We who sit there have earned that seat through an eager desire to succeed.
We have worked, sweated, struggled and grown in ways that will never be fully seen or appreciated by a crowd, especially for most of us as individuals.
What they will see is our standard of victory - an entire team that hustles, shares, and cheers each other on during each moment on the court.
Our goal is to be victorious every day of the season, and whether or not we outscore another team that day, to leave the court with our heads held high.
Our goal is to become better men.
Winning At The Office
"The player who gives his best is sure of success, while the player who gives less than his best is a failure." - John Wooden
No player has lost who's done their best and keeps their smile. At that point, a short-sided score measures only skill, not real victory.
What does it mean to have a best effort at the office?
Showing up on time, and putting in the time.
Smiling, and keeping a steady heart rate.
Speaking positively, and with poised enthusiasm.
Working on the top priority items, with a plan.
Committing to development of those I supervise.
Being accountable and forgiving.
Everyone's standards are different, which is natural and fine. We win when we meet our own, thoughtfully considered.
No player has lost who's done their best and keeps their smile. At that point, a short-sided score measures only skill, not real victory.
What does it mean to have a best effort at the office?
Showing up on time, and putting in the time.
Smiling, and keeping a steady heart rate.
Speaking positively, and with poised enthusiasm.
Working on the top priority items, with a plan.
Committing to development of those I supervise.
Being accountable and forgiving.
Everyone's standards are different, which is natural and fine. We win when we meet our own, thoughtfully considered.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Useless Excuses
"He that is good at making excuses is seldom good at anything else." - Benjamin Franklin
I got an e-mail from a co-worker this week that bordered on insult. To carry an insult around is a victim's mentality, though. It could be a misinterpretation. At any rate, a deliberate insult is weak against a person's body of work if it's of strong character. Sooner or later we'll all be affronted in some way. Winners move on.
I got an e-mail from a co-worker this week that bordered on insult. To carry an insult around is a victim's mentality, though. It could be a misinterpretation. At any rate, a deliberate insult is weak against a person's body of work if it's of strong character. Sooner or later we'll all be affronted in some way. Winners move on.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Best Draft Position In A Serpentine Fantasy Football Draft
As noted on my Facebook/Twitter feeds, I am in fantasy football draft next Wednesday. I am replacing a player who is withdrawing from the 12-team league, so I inherit his team.
Teams will love to play against me. I named my team "Easy Pickings" because of this.
It's a league where you get to keep players from the prior year if you are willing to pay more than their prior year's salary. I am not. I would be, but the guys I inherited are not worth it. Heck, most are not worth the salary they got last year. Several are worth $0.
The draft process begins by determining which slot in the draft you wish to have. I think I'll pick the 6th slot. If you're 1st or 12th, then by the nature of a serpentine (snakelike) draft you will have to wait 22 picks before you get to choose again. I don't like being susceptible to "runs" on scarce positions like elite running backs.
It's not exactly a serpentine "draft" in the sense of getting to pick a player when my turn comes up. No, when my turn comes up all I get to do is make the opening bid on a player. Anyone can bid. Still, I was pleased with my analysis, like a kindergartner who finds a penny on the sidewalk and tells everyone he's rich.
Teams will love to play against me. I named my team "Easy Pickings" because of this.
It's a league where you get to keep players from the prior year if you are willing to pay more than their prior year's salary. I am not. I would be, but the guys I inherited are not worth it. Heck, most are not worth the salary they got last year. Several are worth $0.
The draft process begins by determining which slot in the draft you wish to have. I think I'll pick the 6th slot. If you're 1st or 12th, then by the nature of a serpentine (snakelike) draft you will have to wait 22 picks before you get to choose again. I don't like being susceptible to "runs" on scarce positions like elite running backs.
It's not exactly a serpentine "draft" in the sense of getting to pick a player when my turn comes up. No, when my turn comes up all I get to do is make the opening bid on a player. Anyone can bid. Still, I was pleased with my analysis, like a kindergartner who finds a penny on the sidewalk and tells everyone he's rich.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thats A Big Mistake
I thought of Tyson right away on this one. It is amazing how loosely the American public uses apostrophes.
Follow the link to see a pic of Old Navy's brand new "Lets Go" brand T-shirts. From Yahoo Shine:
The person who writes copy for Old Navy t-shirts has a pretty easy job. No puns, no of-the-moment cultural references, just a word about sports or summer, followed by a couple of exclamation points. It's hard to screw it up. But screw it up, someone did indeed.
Hundreds of thousands of shirts from the retailer's new college football line have been shipped to stores with the phrase "Let's Go", sans apostrophe. Major grammar fail.
I can't say I don't relate. Apostrophes and commas are my left and right Achilles' heels. If only shirts were as easy to fix as blog posts.
The mistake is particularly glaring considering the concept of the tee: it's a partnership between Old Navy and 70 esteemed institutes of higher learning. Duke, Syracuse, University of Texas and Notre Dame, to name a few, all signed on to be represented on the Old Navy tee. Now they might be regretting that decision. According to Fashion ETC, Syracuse University officials are leading an investigation into who approved the copy. Maybe it's the same person who signed off on this Wet Seal t-shirt.
Stupid oversight, yes. But shouldn't we give the guy a break? It's just a misplaced smudge between two letters. Isn't this public flogging punishment enough? How about the night after the shirts had gone to the printer and that t-shirt writer was finally able to get some sleep, but just as he was drifting off into a dream state, his eyes popped open, his palms burst into a cold sweat and he sprung up in bed, shouting: I FORGOT THE APOSTROPHE! That probably had to suck.
Follow the link to see a pic of Old Navy's brand new "Lets Go" brand T-shirts. From Yahoo Shine:
The person who writes copy for Old Navy t-shirts has a pretty easy job. No puns, no of-the-moment cultural references, just a word about sports or summer, followed by a couple of exclamation points. It's hard to screw it up. But screw it up, someone did indeed.
Hundreds of thousands of shirts from the retailer's new college football line have been shipped to stores with the phrase "Let's Go", sans apostrophe. Major grammar fail.
I can't say I don't relate. Apostrophes and commas are my left and right Achilles' heels. If only shirts were as easy to fix as blog posts.
The mistake is particularly glaring considering the concept of the tee: it's a partnership between Old Navy and 70 esteemed institutes of higher learning. Duke, Syracuse, University of Texas and Notre Dame, to name a few, all signed on to be represented on the Old Navy tee. Now they might be regretting that decision. According to Fashion ETC, Syracuse University officials are leading an investigation into who approved the copy. Maybe it's the same person who signed off on this Wet Seal t-shirt.
Stupid oversight, yes. But shouldn't we give the guy a break? It's just a misplaced smudge between two letters. Isn't this public flogging punishment enough? How about the night after the shirts had gone to the printer and that t-shirt writer was finally able to get some sleep, but just as he was drifting off into a dream state, his eyes popped open, his palms burst into a cold sweat and he sprung up in bed, shouting: I FORGOT THE APOSTROPHE! That probably had to suck.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I Won A Cruise!
Casually looking down at the mail shelf when I got home from work, my heart skipped a beat. There lay an envelope addressed to me from Carnival declaring "Ticket Voucher Enclosed"!
By "envelope" I mean the perforated-edged fashion, reminiscent of my annual state driver's license renewal application form. "To open: fold and tear along dotted line." Wow!
By "addressed," I mean in a font that looks as if it were handwritten by a person who stopped handwriting in the fourth grade. Yeah!
The stamp was red, white, and blue emblazoned with pure patriotism: U.S.A.!
I could hardly stop my hands from trembling long enough to rip my way into the center.
Out dropped a cruise boarding pass with my. Name. On. It. Wheee!
It also had a picture of a cruise ship. A cruise number. Departing from "any major port." Someone hold me down!
Ok, so it also said "Class B." And "outside cabin." And it was a photocopy. And was dated two weeks ago. And said "Sample." But it said VIP!!
I ran upstairs with so much enthusiasm that I nearly knocked Dena through her computer screen.
When I told her the surreal good news, she laughed, but not like people who win the lottery. It was more like people who just heard a stupid joke.
"What does the small print say?"
I was so mad. She didn't sound excited at all. She hadn't even looked at the ticket. What did she mean small print? All I know is we just got this ticket for Carnival and it says "Reservation Check-In" and...
...on the back, there's... hmmm... a bunch of small print.
"Airfare is not included."
"Certain travel dates apply."
"Travel over major holidays is not permitted and some restrictions apply."
"Recipient is responsible for any applicable port charges, government taxes, customs fees and agency fees."
"This promotion is not sponsored by or affiliated with Carnival Cruise Lines."
"Attendance at a ninety minute sales presentation for a travel club is required."
"No rain checks."
Oh. Um.
"No purchase necessary."
Honey! It's so ON!
By "envelope" I mean the perforated-edged fashion, reminiscent of my annual state driver's license renewal application form. "To open: fold and tear along dotted line." Wow!
By "addressed," I mean in a font that looks as if it were handwritten by a person who stopped handwriting in the fourth grade. Yeah!
The stamp was red, white, and blue emblazoned with pure patriotism: U.S.A.!
I could hardly stop my hands from trembling long enough to rip my way into the center.
Out dropped a cruise boarding pass with my. Name. On. It. Wheee!
It also had a picture of a cruise ship. A cruise number. Departing from "any major port." Someone hold me down!
Ok, so it also said "Class B." And "outside cabin." And it was a photocopy. And was dated two weeks ago. And said "Sample." But it said VIP!!
I ran upstairs with so much enthusiasm that I nearly knocked Dena through her computer screen.
When I told her the surreal good news, she laughed, but not like people who win the lottery. It was more like people who just heard a stupid joke.
"What does the small print say?"
I was so mad. She didn't sound excited at all. She hadn't even looked at the ticket. What did she mean small print? All I know is we just got this ticket for Carnival and it says "Reservation Check-In" and...
...on the back, there's... hmmm... a bunch of small print.
"Airfare is not included."
"Certain travel dates apply."
"Travel over major holidays is not permitted and some restrictions apply."
"Recipient is responsible for any applicable port charges, government taxes, customs fees and agency fees."
"This promotion is not sponsored by or affiliated with Carnival Cruise Lines."
"Attendance at a ninety minute sales presentation for a travel club is required."
"No rain checks."
Oh. Um.
"No purchase necessary."
Honey! It's so ON!
Web Older Than Incoming Freshmen
MILWAUKEE (AP) — Mention Amazon to the incoming class of college freshmen and they are more likely to think of shopping
than the South American river. PC doesn't stand for political correctness and breaking up is a lot easier thanks to Facebook and text messaging.
These are among the 75 references on this year's Beloit College Mindset List, a compilation intended to remind teachers that college freshmen born mostly in 1993 see the world in a much different way: They fancied pogs and Tickle Me Elmo toys as children, watched televisions that never had dials and their lives have always been like a box of chocolates.
Once upon a time, relatives of the current generation swore never to trust anyone over the age of 30. This group could argue: Never trust anyone older than the Net.
The college's compilation, released Tuesday, is assembled each year by two officials at the private school in southeastern Wisconsin. It also has evolved into a national phenomenon, a cultural touchstone that entertains even as it makes people wonder where the years have gone.
Remember when the initials LBJ referred to President Lyndon B. Johnson? Today, according to the list, they make teenagers think of NBA star LeBron James. And speaking of NBA legends, these kids didn't want to be like Mike — they fawned over Shaq and Kobe.
In their lifetimes, Major League Baseball has always had three divisions plus wild-card playoff teams, and every state has always observed Martin Luther King Day. The "yadda, yadda, yadda" generation that's been quoting Seinfeld since they were old enough to talk also has always seen women serve as U.S. Supreme Court justices and command U.S. Navy ships.
Then there's OJ Simpson. These students were still in diapers when the former NFL star began searching for the killers of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
"Hmm, I know there was some scandal about him," said Alex Keesey, 18, an incoming freshman from Beloit. "I think it was robbery or murder, maybe both."
Comments like that can be a little jarring to older folks who imagine that everyone knows about the Simpson murder trial and subsequent acquittal. But if the generation gap has you down, get used to it. The list's authors note that technology has only accelerated the pace of change and further compressed the generational divide.
Older Americans who read previous Mindset Lists felt that life was moving too quickly, list author Ron Nief said, and now even younger people share that sentiment.
"I talk to people in their early 30s and they're telling me they can't keep up with all the advances," Nief said.
Nief's co-author, English professor Tom McBride, predicts the trend will only accelerate.
"If you look at the jump from email to texting, or from email to Facebook, it's been faster than the jump from typing to computers," McBride said. "These generational gaps are getting smaller."
Still not feeling old? Consider this: Andre the Giant, River Phoenix and Frank Zappa all died before these students were born.
They don't know what a Commodore 64 was, and they don't understand why Boston barflies would ever shout, "Norm!"
Oh, and Ferris Bueller could be their father.
But the list isn't intended to serve as a cultural tombstone, its authors say, contending that the compilation also serves a practical purpose.
McBride and Nief say the main lesson professors should take from this year's list is that their incoming students have never lived in a world without the Internet. From the moment these kids were able to reach a tabletop, their fingertips probably were brushing against computers plugged into the World Wide Web.
And while that was largely true for the last few classes as well, the authors say teachers need to be extra-vigilant about where this year's students are going for information.
The Internet is great for finding facts, McBride says, but there's a big difference between facts and the knowledge that comes from understanding context behind the facts. He advises professors to teach how to supplement Internet searches with library research in scholarly journals, and to remind freshmen to dig beyond the first page or two of Google search results.
Sara Ballesteros, an 18-year-old freshman from South Beloit, said she's confident she knows how to do legitimate Internet research, by relying more on websites that end in ".edu" or ".gov" than in ".com" or ".org."
She also opined that adults worry too much about kids' Internet habits. She referred to item No. 7 on the Mindset List: "As they've grown up on websites and cellphones, adult experts have constantly fretted about their alleged deficits of empathy and concentration."
"For older people who think we use the Internet way too much for bad things, it really depends on the person, on their beliefs and ideals," she said. "Technology can be used in good ways. But adults don't always understand that."
than the South American river. PC doesn't stand for political correctness and breaking up is a lot easier thanks to Facebook and text messaging.
These are among the 75 references on this year's Beloit College Mindset List, a compilation intended to remind teachers that college freshmen born mostly in 1993 see the world in a much different way: They fancied pogs and Tickle Me Elmo toys as children, watched televisions that never had dials and their lives have always been like a box of chocolates.
Once upon a time, relatives of the current generation swore never to trust anyone over the age of 30. This group could argue: Never trust anyone older than the Net.
The college's compilation, released Tuesday, is assembled each year by two officials at the private school in southeastern Wisconsin. It also has evolved into a national phenomenon, a cultural touchstone that entertains even as it makes people wonder where the years have gone.
Remember when the initials LBJ referred to President Lyndon B. Johnson? Today, according to the list, they make teenagers think of NBA star LeBron James. And speaking of NBA legends, these kids didn't want to be like Mike — they fawned over Shaq and Kobe.
In their lifetimes, Major League Baseball has always had three divisions plus wild-card playoff teams, and every state has always observed Martin Luther King Day. The "yadda, yadda, yadda" generation that's been quoting Seinfeld since they were old enough to talk also has always seen women serve as U.S. Supreme Court justices and command U.S. Navy ships.
Then there's OJ Simpson. These students were still in diapers when the former NFL star began searching for the killers of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
"Hmm, I know there was some scandal about him," said Alex Keesey, 18, an incoming freshman from Beloit. "I think it was robbery or murder, maybe both."
Comments like that can be a little jarring to older folks who imagine that everyone knows about the Simpson murder trial and subsequent acquittal. But if the generation gap has you down, get used to it. The list's authors note that technology has only accelerated the pace of change and further compressed the generational divide.
Older Americans who read previous Mindset Lists felt that life was moving too quickly, list author Ron Nief said, and now even younger people share that sentiment.
"I talk to people in their early 30s and they're telling me they can't keep up with all the advances," Nief said.
Nief's co-author, English professor Tom McBride, predicts the trend will only accelerate.
"If you look at the jump from email to texting, or from email to Facebook, it's been faster than the jump from typing to computers," McBride said. "These generational gaps are getting smaller."
Still not feeling old? Consider this: Andre the Giant, River Phoenix and Frank Zappa all died before these students were born.
They don't know what a Commodore 64 was, and they don't understand why Boston barflies would ever shout, "Norm!"
Oh, and Ferris Bueller could be their father.
But the list isn't intended to serve as a cultural tombstone, its authors say, contending that the compilation also serves a practical purpose.
McBride and Nief say the main lesson professors should take from this year's list is that their incoming students have never lived in a world without the Internet. From the moment these kids were able to reach a tabletop, their fingertips probably were brushing against computers plugged into the World Wide Web.
And while that was largely true for the last few classes as well, the authors say teachers need to be extra-vigilant about where this year's students are going for information.
The Internet is great for finding facts, McBride says, but there's a big difference between facts and the knowledge that comes from understanding context behind the facts. He advises professors to teach how to supplement Internet searches with library research in scholarly journals, and to remind freshmen to dig beyond the first page or two of Google search results.
Sara Ballesteros, an 18-year-old freshman from South Beloit, said she's confident she knows how to do legitimate Internet research, by relying more on websites that end in ".edu" or ".gov" than in ".com" or ".org."
She also opined that adults worry too much about kids' Internet habits. She referred to item No. 7 on the Mindset List: "As they've grown up on websites and cellphones, adult experts have constantly fretted about their alleged deficits of empathy and concentration."
"For older people who think we use the Internet way too much for bad things, it really depends on the person, on their beliefs and ideals," she said. "Technology can be used in good ways. But adults don't always understand that."
Monday, August 22, 2011
The Park Groundskeepers Would Hate It, But...
Dena shared this observation:
In a recent employee survey, employees were asked for company social activity ideas. I assume that a few commas were missing from the following response …
“goofy golf stock car racing picnics”
I’m not sure I’m adequately skilled to pull that one off, but I’m sure it’d be a good time!
In a recent employee survey, employees were asked for company social activity ideas. I assume that a few commas were missing from the following response …
“goofy golf stock car racing picnics”
I’m not sure I’m adequately skilled to pull that one off, but I’m sure it’d be a good time!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
A Bit Of Social Insecurity
When simpletons like me go nosing around in reports on government, the conclusions can be pretty ignorant. So let’s revel in some bliss!
This article talks about the debate over whether or not to extend this year's payroll tax cut beyond 2011.
We normally pay 6.2% of our income to fund Social Security. In 2011, evidently at President Obama's urging, this was cut to 4.2%.
So the good news is, Americans making $50,000 per year got to keep an extra $1,000.
The bad news is, Americans put $1,000 less into the Social Security fund. That means that, all else being equal, in the long run either benefits will be reduced, or the fund will run out sooner. And it is starting to run out - for the first time in history benefits exceed income for the program.
I’d generally say that "tax cuts" are good when they translate into reduced government expenses. They don’t sound as good when they merely shuffle around money that’s ours to begin with. In this case, it gives us something like an advance on our Social Security “allowance” that would come due around age 67.
On the other hand, those of us who’d rather not contribute funds toward a program that’s currently being managed into a deficit might feel a little more secure about having the $1,000 in our pocket. To self-insure, as it were. I can take that $1,000, for example, and buy an annuity that will accomplish much the same thing: guarding against the chance of outliving my income.
So while it is off-putting to read an article dotted with Congressional quotes and none that acknowledge the long-term impact of cutting a Social Security funding source, I do land on the side favoring the extension of the tax cut. In fact, I like Mitt Romney's idea of cutting the employer's half of the contribution as well. A company paying out a million dollars in salary could gain an extra $20,000 per year - enough to hire another employee and help feed another family.
Thanks Mr. President!
This article talks about the debate over whether or not to extend this year's payroll tax cut beyond 2011.
We normally pay 6.2% of our income to fund Social Security. In 2011, evidently at President Obama's urging, this was cut to 4.2%.
So the good news is, Americans making $50,000 per year got to keep an extra $1,000.
The bad news is, Americans put $1,000 less into the Social Security fund. That means that, all else being equal, in the long run either benefits will be reduced, or the fund will run out sooner. And it is starting to run out - for the first time in history benefits exceed income for the program.
I’d generally say that "tax cuts" are good when they translate into reduced government expenses. They don’t sound as good when they merely shuffle around money that’s ours to begin with. In this case, it gives us something like an advance on our Social Security “allowance” that would come due around age 67.
On the other hand, those of us who’d rather not contribute funds toward a program that’s currently being managed into a deficit might feel a little more secure about having the $1,000 in our pocket. To self-insure, as it were. I can take that $1,000, for example, and buy an annuity that will accomplish much the same thing: guarding against the chance of outliving my income.
So while it is off-putting to read an article dotted with Congressional quotes and none that acknowledge the long-term impact of cutting a Social Security funding source, I do land on the side favoring the extension of the tax cut. In fact, I like Mitt Romney's idea of cutting the employer's half of the contribution as well. A company paying out a million dollars in salary could gain an extra $20,000 per year - enough to hire another employee and help feed another family.
Thanks Mr. President!
Budgeting: How Americans Spend Their Money
Courtesy of Yahoo! Finance:
Out of sheer curiosity, we all like to know how much others make and how much they spend, but knowing how your spending habits compare to everyone else's has significant value.
This information enables you to compare your spending habits to the average, giving you the opportunity to adjust your spending. A closer look at how your friends and neighbors are spending their cash will show you how you can trim your own expenses.
How People Spend
When you see people in your neighborhood driving a new car, at the mall buying clothes and everywhere else spending money, chances are you've wondered about how they are making that happen and what you can do to have those luxuries too. The most recent report, Consumer Expenditures In 2009, released every two years by the U.S. Department of Labor U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, provides some answers to your questions.
This survey tracks the expenses of "consumer units," which are defined as "members of a household consisting of (a) occupants related by blood, marriage, adoption, or some other legal arrangement; (b) a single person living alone sharing with others, but who is financially independent, or (c) two or more persons living together who share responsibility for at least two out of three major types of expenses." Let's take a look at how these people, or units, spend their money.
Why It Pays to Know
According to the survey, the average consumer unit spends nearly 78% of its income on just seven major categories of spending. If you aren't a big fan of budgeting or keeping track of every cent that you spend, breaking down your expenses into these seven categories is a quick and easy way to take a snapshot of your financial situation. If you've never tried budgeting, comparing your expenditures to those of other consumers may be just the catalyst to get you started.
The seven major categories of spending are listed in detail below. They are: housing, transportation, food, personal insurance and retirement, healthcare, entertainment, and apparel and services. Generally, for all costs except healthcare, the youngest and oldest among us spend the least, and numbers for persons aged 25-64 come in above the spending average.
1. Housing
Keeping a roof overhead costs the average consumer unit 26.9% of its annual income, which comes to an average of $16,895 each year. That's the biggest single category of spending by far.
If your housing costs appear to come in on the high side, it may be time to reevaluate your living situation.
2. Transportation
At 12.2%, transportation takes another big chunk out of the average consumer unit's income. The cost of owning a vehicle accounts for 4.2% of that number, excluding gasoline and oil, which add another 3.2% to the tab. In cash, the total average transportation expense for the year comes to $7,658 each year.
Owning a car brings with it the baggage of some big bills. If you can rely on public transportation, you can probably cut your costs in half, because purchasing a bus pass is often more inexpensive that paying for gas, maintenance, insurance and a parking pass.
3. Food
Everybody has to eat, and doing so accounts for 10.1% of the average consumer unit's expenses. Food at home accounted for 6.0% of that number and food away from home accounted for 5.7%. The total cost of food comes at $6,372 on average.
If your food bill comes in on the high side, you can try to cut expenses by eating at home, taking a bagged lunch to work or holding group meals like potlucks instead of eating out.
4. Personal Insurance and Pensions
Although the personal savings rate in the United States is often cited as a negative number, 8.7% of income goes to fund personal insurance and pensions. Most of that number, 8.2%, goes to the Social Security Administration to fund payments for existing retirees. The average expenditure comes to $5,471 a year.
5. Healthcare
Despite the high, and rising, cost of healthcare, this category only accounts for 5.0% of the average unit's income. The cash outlay comes to around $3,126 each year, but this category bucks the trend. Naturally, the costs rise as you age, with those over 65 paying nearly a third more than those under age 25. (Find out how to take action against one of the biggest financial post-work worries in Fighting The High Costs Of Healthcare, Failing Health Could Drain Your Retirement Savings and Common Concerns For Retirees.)
6. Entertainment
Everybody likes to have fun, but interestingly, paying for that fun accounts for just 4.3% of the average unit's income. That works out to $2,693 a year for the average consumer.
If your budget is really tight, this is the one spending area that you should initially trim as it is the one expense that's easiest to forgo. For example, cutting unnecessary services or staying home instead of going out can potentially put a few hundred bucks a month back into your pocket.
7. Apparel and Services
Keeping clothes on your back (on average) will cost you 2.7% of your income. For the average consumer unit, that's about $1,725 each year.
Shopping for bargains, avoiding the latest fashion trends, purchasing quality items in classic styles and shopping the seasonal sales can help you save a few dollars under this category.
Factoring in Location
Everybody knows that it costs more to live in some areas than others. The survey subdivides the data by geographical location, splitting it out into four regions. Overall, costs in the West were the highest in nearly every category, while costs in the South were the lowest.
To get a better idea of the costs for your region, particularly if you live in a pricey city like Los Angeles or in a small town, such as Addison, Alabama, you can use an online cost-of–living calculator to compare your expenses to those in other areas of the country.
If you are looking to move, it pays to consider the geography. Simply living in the right location can significantly trim your costs.
Put Your Knowledge to Work
Knowing the average consumer numbers gives you a chance to see how you stack up against the rest of the country. While the specific dollar figures will change from year to year, the categories are unlikely to exhibit much change. Comparing your spending habits against these categories provides benchmarks to gauge your personal financial situation, and the opportunity to implement reductions in spending. Ideally, these reductions should result in freeing up some of your money, which can then be used to increase the amount you dedicate toward saving and investing.
Out of sheer curiosity, we all like to know how much others make and how much they spend, but knowing how your spending habits compare to everyone else's has significant value.
This information enables you to compare your spending habits to the average, giving you the opportunity to adjust your spending. A closer look at how your friends and neighbors are spending their cash will show you how you can trim your own expenses.
How People Spend
When you see people in your neighborhood driving a new car, at the mall buying clothes and everywhere else spending money, chances are you've wondered about how they are making that happen and what you can do to have those luxuries too. The most recent report, Consumer Expenditures In 2009, released every two years by the U.S. Department of Labor U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, provides some answers to your questions.
This survey tracks the expenses of "consumer units," which are defined as "members of a household consisting of (a) occupants related by blood, marriage, adoption, or some other legal arrangement; (b) a single person living alone sharing with others, but who is financially independent, or (c) two or more persons living together who share responsibility for at least two out of three major types of expenses." Let's take a look at how these people, or units, spend their money.
Why It Pays to Know
According to the survey, the average consumer unit spends nearly 78% of its income on just seven major categories of spending. If you aren't a big fan of budgeting or keeping track of every cent that you spend, breaking down your expenses into these seven categories is a quick and easy way to take a snapshot of your financial situation. If you've never tried budgeting, comparing your expenditures to those of other consumers may be just the catalyst to get you started.
The seven major categories of spending are listed in detail below. They are: housing, transportation, food, personal insurance and retirement, healthcare, entertainment, and apparel and services. Generally, for all costs except healthcare, the youngest and oldest among us spend the least, and numbers for persons aged 25-64 come in above the spending average.
1. Housing
Keeping a roof overhead costs the average consumer unit 26.9% of its annual income, which comes to an average of $16,895 each year. That's the biggest single category of spending by far.
If your housing costs appear to come in on the high side, it may be time to reevaluate your living situation.
2. Transportation
At 12.2%, transportation takes another big chunk out of the average consumer unit's income. The cost of owning a vehicle accounts for 4.2% of that number, excluding gasoline and oil, which add another 3.2% to the tab. In cash, the total average transportation expense for the year comes to $7,658 each year.
Owning a car brings with it the baggage of some big bills. If you can rely on public transportation, you can probably cut your costs in half, because purchasing a bus pass is often more inexpensive that paying for gas, maintenance, insurance and a parking pass.
3. Food
Everybody has to eat, and doing so accounts for 10.1% of the average consumer unit's expenses. Food at home accounted for 6.0% of that number and food away from home accounted for 5.7%. The total cost of food comes at $6,372 on average.
If your food bill comes in on the high side, you can try to cut expenses by eating at home, taking a bagged lunch to work or holding group meals like potlucks instead of eating out.
4. Personal Insurance and Pensions
Although the personal savings rate in the United States is often cited as a negative number, 8.7% of income goes to fund personal insurance and pensions. Most of that number, 8.2%, goes to the Social Security Administration to fund payments for existing retirees. The average expenditure comes to $5,471 a year.
5. Healthcare
Despite the high, and rising, cost of healthcare, this category only accounts for 5.0% of the average unit's income. The cash outlay comes to around $3,126 each year, but this category bucks the trend. Naturally, the costs rise as you age, with those over 65 paying nearly a third more than those under age 25. (Find out how to take action against one of the biggest financial post-work worries in Fighting The High Costs Of Healthcare, Failing Health Could Drain Your Retirement Savings and Common Concerns For Retirees.)
6. Entertainment
Everybody likes to have fun, but interestingly, paying for that fun accounts for just 4.3% of the average unit's income. That works out to $2,693 a year for the average consumer.
If your budget is really tight, this is the one spending area that you should initially trim as it is the one expense that's easiest to forgo. For example, cutting unnecessary services or staying home instead of going out can potentially put a few hundred bucks a month back into your pocket.
7. Apparel and Services
Keeping clothes on your back (on average) will cost you 2.7% of your income. For the average consumer unit, that's about $1,725 each year.
Shopping for bargains, avoiding the latest fashion trends, purchasing quality items in classic styles and shopping the seasonal sales can help you save a few dollars under this category.
Factoring in Location
Everybody knows that it costs more to live in some areas than others. The survey subdivides the data by geographical location, splitting it out into four regions. Overall, costs in the West were the highest in nearly every category, while costs in the South were the lowest.
To get a better idea of the costs for your region, particularly if you live in a pricey city like Los Angeles or in a small town, such as Addison, Alabama, you can use an online cost-of–living calculator to compare your expenses to those in other areas of the country.
If you are looking to move, it pays to consider the geography. Simply living in the right location can significantly trim your costs.
Put Your Knowledge to Work
Knowing the average consumer numbers gives you a chance to see how you stack up against the rest of the country. While the specific dollar figures will change from year to year, the categories are unlikely to exhibit much change. Comparing your spending habits against these categories provides benchmarks to gauge your personal financial situation, and the opportunity to implement reductions in spending. Ideally, these reductions should result in freeing up some of your money, which can then be used to increase the amount you dedicate toward saving and investing.
Lincoln Versus Obama
I found this passage from William Miller's book "Lincoln's Virtues" interesting, thinking about our current president.
"Abraham Lincoln is unusual, perhaps unique, in that while being nominated entirely out of a political background, he had no national experience except that now ancient one term in Congress, no statewide victories at all, no executive experience at all, no appointments to high-level positions at all. Alongside the political resumes of his immediate predecessor, James Buchanan, his longtime adversary Stephen Douglas, or his chief rival for the nomination in 1860, William Seward, Abraham Lincoln's list of posts and accomplishments would look ridiculously puny. His credentials were markedly less impressive, on paper, than those of any of the men being mentioned for the Republican nomination in addition to Seward... Lincoln had not been governor of a big state, a senator, or a celebrated general in a war; he had not been a Supreme Court justice; he had not been the visible head of any great national undertaking. I believe it can be said that by the formal test of offices held and great deeds accomplished, he was the least qualified person ever elected, perhaps ever nominated by a major party."
"Abraham Lincoln is unusual, perhaps unique, in that while being nominated entirely out of a political background, he had no national experience except that now ancient one term in Congress, no statewide victories at all, no executive experience at all, no appointments to high-level positions at all. Alongside the political resumes of his immediate predecessor, James Buchanan, his longtime adversary Stephen Douglas, or his chief rival for the nomination in 1860, William Seward, Abraham Lincoln's list of posts and accomplishments would look ridiculously puny. His credentials were markedly less impressive, on paper, than those of any of the men being mentioned for the Republican nomination in addition to Seward... Lincoln had not been governor of a big state, a senator, or a celebrated general in a war; he had not been a Supreme Court justice; he had not been the visible head of any great national undertaking. I believe it can be said that by the formal test of offices held and great deeds accomplished, he was the least qualified person ever elected, perhaps ever nominated by a major party."
20,000 Views
The statistic accumulator for Blogger says that the site's had 20,000 page views since it started tracking them in June 2010. About 1,500 views a month recently.
Y'all are great, thanks for watching. May Hidden Blog keep feedin' whatever you're needin'.
Y'all are great, thanks for watching. May Hidden Blog keep feedin' whatever you're needin'.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
McDonald Resigns To Take Actuarial Coach Position
A young businessman left employment as an actuarial director on Friday to accept a new position as an actuarial coach.
"It's a natural fit," Joe McDonald explained from home over the weekend. "In my former role people would constantly ask 'What types of actuarial directions do you give all day?'"
The images conjured up by the "director" label left friends, relatives and associates in a perplexing fog, he explained.
"Sure, occasionally I have to say things like 'Could you please give me an insurance-weighted net premium broken into five-year age bands.' But it's not like I'm some formula-spewing megaphone-toting mouthpiece in a beret."
In fact, he contends, the misleading term masks the skills of visioning, planning, training, encouraging and creative thinking that define the leadership spot most uniquely. The new title suits his strengths more aptly.
The lateral move surprised corporate management, since no such job exists.
"Coaching is an important part of the work," said Alan Barnum, without comment on the sequel-ish nature of his own Actuarial Director 2 title. "But his job hasn't changed."
Vice president Vernon Bailey agreed. "I'd wondered why he started hanging pennants in his office. It makes a little more sense now - but just a little."
Co-workers report hearing locker-room variety raving to phantom audiences behind McDonald's closed office door, and the occasional thrown chair.
"He's always been a man of action and shown a passion for teaching, so coach is a good term," said a subordinate speaking under condition of anonymity. "Though it's not like he's ever abused me like some red-faced dictator or anything, not physically."
"It's a natural fit," Joe McDonald explained from home over the weekend. "In my former role people would constantly ask 'What types of actuarial directions do you give all day?'"
The images conjured up by the "director" label left friends, relatives and associates in a perplexing fog, he explained.
"Sure, occasionally I have to say things like 'Could you please give me an insurance-weighted net premium broken into five-year age bands.' But it's not like I'm some formula-spewing megaphone-toting mouthpiece in a beret."
In fact, he contends, the misleading term masks the skills of visioning, planning, training, encouraging and creative thinking that define the leadership spot most uniquely. The new title suits his strengths more aptly.
The lateral move surprised corporate management, since no such job exists.
"Coaching is an important part of the work," said Alan Barnum, without comment on the sequel-ish nature of his own Actuarial Director 2 title. "But his job hasn't changed."
Vice president Vernon Bailey agreed. "I'd wondered why he started hanging pennants in his office. It makes a little more sense now - but just a little."
Co-workers report hearing locker-room variety raving to phantom audiences behind McDonald's closed office door, and the occasional thrown chair.
"He's always been a man of action and shown a passion for teaching, so coach is a good term," said a subordinate speaking under condition of anonymity. "Though it's not like he's ever abused me like some red-faced dictator or anything, not physically."
Right Makes Might
"It is difficult indeed to mount a sustained ethical criticism of some part of the existing world without oversimplifying that world and implying that you are superior to it." - William Miller
"Let us have faith that right makes might, and in that faith, let us to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it." - Abraham Lincoln
It seems to me that on most issues that matter, there is more than one path that's right.
"Let us have faith that right makes might, and in that faith, let us to the end, dare to do our duty as we understand it." - Abraham Lincoln
It seems to me that on most issues that matter, there is more than one path that's right.
Una Liga De Futbol FIFA
I decided to play a season of FIFA soccer on the PlayStation. Can't get enough of dominating the Spanish Primera league with Barcelona.
38-0 league champions. Highlights:
Most goals in a game: 13
Biggest margin of victory: 12
Goals for: 255
Goals against: 39
Clean sheets (shutouts): 15
I'm pretty sure that the computer ups the difficulty level the better your record is, so the unblemished record is especially satisfying.
Home: 19-0, 140 GF, 19 GA
Away: 19-0, 115 GF, 20 GA
Leading goal scorers:
Eto'o 95 G, 21 A
Henry: 95 G, 20 A
Ronaldinho: 28 G, 10 A
Messi: 11 G, 14 A
Toure: 11 G, 6 A
Took 13 days to play through it.
My favorite play of the season was when a midfielder blasted the ball from the right corner, which ricocheted off the butt of his teammate and into the net. Then they cut to a close-up of the player and he's showing off, staring down a nearby opponent and pointing to the name on the back of his own shirt, as if he'd accomplished something, when in reality he was facing out of bounds at the time his teammate shot the ball. Reconsider your rep, buddy.
38-0 league champions. Highlights:
Most goals in a game: 13
Biggest margin of victory: 12
Goals for: 255
Goals against: 39
Clean sheets (shutouts): 15
I'm pretty sure that the computer ups the difficulty level the better your record is, so the unblemished record is especially satisfying.
Home: 19-0, 140 GF, 19 GA
Away: 19-0, 115 GF, 20 GA
Leading goal scorers:
Eto'o 95 G, 21 A
Henry: 95 G, 20 A
Ronaldinho: 28 G, 10 A
Messi: 11 G, 14 A
Toure: 11 G, 6 A
Took 13 days to play through it.
My favorite play of the season was when a midfielder blasted the ball from the right corner, which ricocheted off the butt of his teammate and into the net. Then they cut to a close-up of the player and he's showing off, staring down a nearby opponent and pointing to the name on the back of his own shirt, as if he'd accomplished something, when in reality he was facing out of bounds at the time his teammate shot the ball. Reconsider your rep, buddy.
Burger King Ditches Weird Mascot
From Forbes. Good luck BK, it's tough to catch a McDonald!
Fast-food chain Burger King is making a 180 degree shift in its marketing, with a decision to drop its "King" mascot and focus on — sit down before you read this! — product.
For years, Burger King had placed its bets on edgy commercials by creative powerhouse Crispin Porter + Bogusky, targeting men in their teens and 20s. Crispin's campaigns got a lot of attention, and plaudits from the advertising community. Unfortunately, however, advertising awards don't necessarily translate into sales, and Burger King has been badly lagging main rival McDonald's. According to consulting firm Technomic, Burger King's same-store sales declined 6% in the first quarter; compare that to a 3% rise for Mc Donald's.
This discrepancy in performance is not the result of McDonald's having more "creative" advertising or a hipper mascot (Ronald Mc Donald is many things — hip he's not). But while Burger King was trying to sell consumers an edgy brand image, McDonald's focused on something much more mundane: selling burgers, fries and coffee. The rest is marketing history.
Now, under new ownership, and with a new management and marketing team, Burger King is focusing on what matters: updating the stores, fixing its food and changing its image. As Alex Maccedo, SVP, marketing, put it to USA Today: "People want a reason to go back to Burger King ... There are no plans to bring the King back anytime soon."
Along with new management, Burger King has also hired a new ad agency, McGarry Bowen. Mc Garry's ads are often derided in ad industry circles as conventional, formulaic and unhip. The criticism isn't entirely unjustified ... but who cares? Last I heard, advertising is not about creating art house shorts; it's about selling stuff. Against that standard, McGarry's work tends to perform well. A new campaign by McGarry, launching this weekend, will introduce the California Whopper, made with guacamole.
Whether the new burger will catch on remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure: the marketing campaign will give it a shot at success. The entire TV commercial will focus single-mindedly on sights and sounds of the burger's ingredients being washed and diced.
And amidst all this slicing and dicing, "the King" finds himself like Charles I and Louis XVI ... a head shorter.
Fast-food chain Burger King is making a 180 degree shift in its marketing, with a decision to drop its "King" mascot and focus on — sit down before you read this! — product.
For years, Burger King had placed its bets on edgy commercials by creative powerhouse Crispin Porter + Bogusky, targeting men in their teens and 20s. Crispin's campaigns got a lot of attention, and plaudits from the advertising community. Unfortunately, however, advertising awards don't necessarily translate into sales, and Burger King has been badly lagging main rival McDonald's. According to consulting firm Technomic, Burger King's same-store sales declined 6% in the first quarter; compare that to a 3% rise for Mc Donald's.
This discrepancy in performance is not the result of McDonald's having more "creative" advertising or a hipper mascot (Ronald Mc Donald is many things — hip he's not). But while Burger King was trying to sell consumers an edgy brand image, McDonald's focused on something much more mundane: selling burgers, fries and coffee. The rest is marketing history.
Now, under new ownership, and with a new management and marketing team, Burger King is focusing on what matters: updating the stores, fixing its food and changing its image. As Alex Maccedo, SVP, marketing, put it to USA Today: "People want a reason to go back to Burger King ... There are no plans to bring the King back anytime soon."
Along with new management, Burger King has also hired a new ad agency, McGarry Bowen. Mc Garry's ads are often derided in ad industry circles as conventional, formulaic and unhip. The criticism isn't entirely unjustified ... but who cares? Last I heard, advertising is not about creating art house shorts; it's about selling stuff. Against that standard, McGarry's work tends to perform well. A new campaign by McGarry, launching this weekend, will introduce the California Whopper, made with guacamole.
Whether the new burger will catch on remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure: the marketing campaign will give it a shot at success. The entire TV commercial will focus single-mindedly on sights and sounds of the burger's ingredients being washed and diced.
And amidst all this slicing and dicing, "the King" finds himself like Charles I and Louis XVI ... a head shorter.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
9 Habits That Can Do More Harm Than Good
From Yahoo! Shine:
The basics of staying healthy seem pretty easy to follow: Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep and you should be on the right track, right? Surprisingly, it can be more complicated than that. Oftentimes the very choices we make to benefit our health can be the same ones that hurt us in the long run. Read on to learn which unexpected habits—like brushing your teeth after every meal or slipping into a pair of comfortable sandals—might be causing you harm.
1. Compulsively using hand sanitizer.
If you reach for hand sanitizer any time you make contact with the outside world, you might want to take pause. Unless you’re in an especially germ-prone place like a hospital, soap and water will work just fine, says Richard Gallo, MD, PhD, chief of the Division of Dermatology at the University of California-San Diego. When you’re not near a sink, hand sanitizing gels can help, but be sure to read the label first. Recent research has shown that those containing triclosan may promote bacteria and virus resistance to antibiotic medications (this goes for antibacterial hand soaps that contain triclosan, too). Instead, choose brands like Purell, that contain at least 60% alcohol, which will kill 99% of bacteria on contact.
2. Experimenting with skincare products.
Who isn’t tempted to buy the latest skin creams and serums promising to shed years from your face? While looking for something that works for you is a good idea, overhauling your routine every few weeks in search of the fountain of youth isn’t. “I’ve always encouraged my patients to create a daily regimen and stick with it,” says Jody Levine, MD, a dermatologist in New York City. “Women get easily bored with their beauty routine, especially if they don’t see results right away. It can take between six and eight weeks to see changes; if you’re using a product to increase collagen, expect to wait six months to see results.” She often cautions patients against constantly changing products, noting that it may cause adult rosacea (a condition that results in red, patchy and sometimes inflamed skin). “People may be forming sensitive skin by trying out too many different products with high levels of fragrance and other sensitizers,” Dr. Levine says. In lieu of always trying something new, stick with what works for you, or see your dermatologist to develop a new routine. And manage your expectations—according to Dr. Levine, a consistent regime should “keep your skin clear, clean and smooth. Make that your rule of thumb and don’t expect miracles, especially when it comes to over-the-counter antiaging products."
3. Wearing flip-flops.
Forgoing sky-high heels and toe-pinching boots for the freedom of flip-flops is giving your feet a much-need break, right? Not exactly. Turns out, your summer shoes aren’t doing you any favors. According to Jordana Szpiro, DPM, a podiatrist and foot surgeon in Boston, “Flip-flops and other unsupportive sandals, which have no arch support and give no structural support to the foot, can lead to stress fractures since your uncushioned feet become strained when they try to support too much weight,” she explains. “Extensor or flexor tendinitis is also a common problem that happens as a result of trying to keep your flip-flips on—the muscles on top or underneath your feet overexert themselves while trying to grip your shoes.” She also advises against walking around shoeless, even if you’re by the pool or in your gym’s locker room. “Aside from not giving your feet any support, going barefoot can also be challenging for those prone to infectious skin diseases such as plantar warts and athlete’s foot, which are easily spread poolside, in pedicure salons and in gyms.” But that doesn't mean you need to spend your summer in closed toe shoes. Dr. Szpiro recommends comfortable sandals that also provide plenty of support, like styles from Fit Flops, OrthoHeel and Mephisto.
4. Brushing your teeth after every meal.
Rushing to brush immediately after every meal may seem like a great way to keep your oral health in check, but according to Greg Diamond, DDS, a New York City periodontist, it’s better to hold off. Food can leave acid on your teeth, which can weaken the enamel, “and brushing while the enamel is in a weakened state can actually scrub the enamel away.” To dislodge any food particles that may remain after eating, he recommends simply rinsing your mouth out with water and saving the brushing for morning and night. Then when you do brush, be sure to do so in a circular motion. According to Dr. Diamond, this will improve your chances of removing harmful bacteria between the teeth and gums. Brushing up and down or back and forth, on the other hand, can leave behind harmful bacteria, causing gum disease; while applying too much pressure can lead to receding gums.
5. Doing only cardio when you work out.
It’s easy to assume that the best way to lose weight is to stick to the same cardio workout, but “if you only do cardio, your body will become so accustomed to the routine that you’ll start to burn less fat over time,” says Joseph Ciccone, DPT, CSCS, a physical therapist at ColumbiaDoctors Eastside Sports Therapy in New York. Plus, going through repeated motions on the treadmill or elliptical machine can create tight muscles and lead to injury. Trade in a few of your cardio workouts for circuit training, which involves doing a number of different strength training exercises with little rest between moves in order to keep your heart rate up while also working out your entire body, ensuring that you’ll burn the most calories—without burning out. Integrating resistance training into your routine will create muscle mass, which will help you burn more calories throughout the day, even when you’re at rest, says Jennifer Fleischer, exercise and nutrition coach and owner of Holistic Fitness in San Francisco. She also recommends revamping your cardio routine by mixing in interval training once a week. Try doing 30 seconds of high intensity motion, whether you’re on the treadmill, elliptical machine or in the swimming pool, followed by 90 seconds of recovery at a moderate pace, working your way up to 10 repetitions. The bursts of intensity followed by recovery will effectively and efficiently blast calories and fat.
6. Skipping meals to “save up” for later.
“Women have gotten into the habit of saving their calories for the fun stuff later on,” says Danine Fruge, MD, associate medical director at Pritikin Longevity Center + Spa in Miami. For example, many women will hold off on eating lunch so that they can have a few glasses of wine to unwind at the end of the day. Not a problem as long as you’re carefully allocating your calories, right? “Unfortunately when you don’t eat breakfast or lunch you can develop cravings and irritability, which can lead to overeating later on in the day,” she explains. A smarter approach to eating: Fill up on protein-packed meals and nutrient-rich snacks that'll keep your satisfied all day, so when dinnertime or cocktail hour rolls around you won’t be tempted to fill your plate with calorie-rich and high-fat foods.
7. Drinking only bottled water.
By reaching for a bottle of H20 you may think you’re doing your body some good by avoiding tap water, which can be filled with who-knows-what. But that's not the case. “Bottled water contains no fluoride, and we’re seeing more and more adults suffer from a fluoride deficiency, which can lead to tooth decay,” says Dr. Diamond. “Instead, fill your glass with water purified by a Brita or PUR water filtration system” which will keep your water free from impurities commonly found in tap water, but still allow you to reap the benefits of fluoride.
8. Cleaning with disinfecting products.
While keeping your home pristine and germ-free may seem like the path to perfect health, using cleansers that boast antibacterial or disinfecting properties could have the opposite effect. “These products haven’t been proven to be any more effective than regular cleaning products, and there is significant evidence that the chemicals in these disinfecting cleansers—called quaternary ammonium compounds––can lead to asthma,” says Rebecca Sutton, PhD, senior scientist at the Environmental Working Group. Other cleaning product chemicals to avoid include 2-butoxyethanol, which the Environmental Protection Agency considers a human carcinogen and has been linked to cancer; alkylphenol ethoxylates, which can disrupt hormones; and ethanolamines, which can cause asthma. But because cleaning product companies aren’t required to list most ingredients on their product labels (you can call or go online instead), it can be tough to know what to buy. However, Seventh Generation, an eco-friendly company, clearly lists their ingredients on their labels, so that's one option. Another, which Dr. Sutton recommends, is cleaning with a mixture of one part water and one part vinegar, or scrubbing surfaces with baking soda, both of which have natural antibacterial properties. She emphasizes that when it comes to ousting germs, the key is cleaning often and thoroughly—not blasting every surface with the harshest cleaner you can find. “Your goal should be to clean regularly,” says Dr. Sutton. “That way you’ll get rid of dirt, so there’s no place for bacteria to grow.”
9. Loading up on nutritional supplements
When it comes to vitamins and minerals, more is better, right? Not always, says Christine Rosenbloom, PhD, RD, professor emeritus at Georgia State University. “People often take nutritional supplements without really understanding what they’re consuming, or if they really need them.” Because so many foods are fortified these days, she notes that chances are many of us don’t have any major nutritional deficiencies. If you are already getting enough of what you need, the best case scenario is that the supplements will have no effect on you. But there are more serious side effects of carelessly popping pills: Vitamin A in large amounts can be toxic to a developing fetus, vitamin C in large doses can cause gastrointestinal distress as well as interfere with glucose readings in people on diabetes medications and too much vitamin B6 can cause nerve damage. Since a 2009 study in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition concluded that in the absence of a deficiency, eating food instead of taking supplements should be the primary way to fulfill nutritional requirements and deliver health benefits, Dr. Rosenbloom suggests visiting MyPyramidTracker.gov where you can input the foods that you eat daily and the site will tell you what you need to add to your diet. If you find out that you need to up your intake of, say, calcium, “try integrating calcium-rich foods into your diet, like a glass of skim milk or a spinach salad,” before making a beeline to the supplements aisle. If you do learn that supplements are the best choice to remedy a deficiency, look for "USP" printed on the label, which signifies that the pill meets the standards of the testing organization U.S. Pharmacopeia.
The basics of staying healthy seem pretty easy to follow: Eat well, exercise, get enough sleep and you should be on the right track, right? Surprisingly, it can be more complicated than that. Oftentimes the very choices we make to benefit our health can be the same ones that hurt us in the long run. Read on to learn which unexpected habits—like brushing your teeth after every meal or slipping into a pair of comfortable sandals—might be causing you harm.
1. Compulsively using hand sanitizer.
If you reach for hand sanitizer any time you make contact with the outside world, you might want to take pause. Unless you’re in an especially germ-prone place like a hospital, soap and water will work just fine, says Richard Gallo, MD, PhD, chief of the Division of Dermatology at the University of California-San Diego. When you’re not near a sink, hand sanitizing gels can help, but be sure to read the label first. Recent research has shown that those containing triclosan may promote bacteria and virus resistance to antibiotic medications (this goes for antibacterial hand soaps that contain triclosan, too). Instead, choose brands like Purell, that contain at least 60% alcohol, which will kill 99% of bacteria on contact.
2. Experimenting with skincare products.
Who isn’t tempted to buy the latest skin creams and serums promising to shed years from your face? While looking for something that works for you is a good idea, overhauling your routine every few weeks in search of the fountain of youth isn’t. “I’ve always encouraged my patients to create a daily regimen and stick with it,” says Jody Levine, MD, a dermatologist in New York City. “Women get easily bored with their beauty routine, especially if they don’t see results right away. It can take between six and eight weeks to see changes; if you’re using a product to increase collagen, expect to wait six months to see results.” She often cautions patients against constantly changing products, noting that it may cause adult rosacea (a condition that results in red, patchy and sometimes inflamed skin). “People may be forming sensitive skin by trying out too many different products with high levels of fragrance and other sensitizers,” Dr. Levine says. In lieu of always trying something new, stick with what works for you, or see your dermatologist to develop a new routine. And manage your expectations—according to Dr. Levine, a consistent regime should “keep your skin clear, clean and smooth. Make that your rule of thumb and don’t expect miracles, especially when it comes to over-the-counter antiaging products."
3. Wearing flip-flops.
Forgoing sky-high heels and toe-pinching boots for the freedom of flip-flops is giving your feet a much-need break, right? Not exactly. Turns out, your summer shoes aren’t doing you any favors. According to Jordana Szpiro, DPM, a podiatrist and foot surgeon in Boston, “Flip-flops and other unsupportive sandals, which have no arch support and give no structural support to the foot, can lead to stress fractures since your uncushioned feet become strained when they try to support too much weight,” she explains. “Extensor or flexor tendinitis is also a common problem that happens as a result of trying to keep your flip-flips on—the muscles on top or underneath your feet overexert themselves while trying to grip your shoes.” She also advises against walking around shoeless, even if you’re by the pool or in your gym’s locker room. “Aside from not giving your feet any support, going barefoot can also be challenging for those prone to infectious skin diseases such as plantar warts and athlete’s foot, which are easily spread poolside, in pedicure salons and in gyms.” But that doesn't mean you need to spend your summer in closed toe shoes. Dr. Szpiro recommends comfortable sandals that also provide plenty of support, like styles from Fit Flops, OrthoHeel and Mephisto.
4. Brushing your teeth after every meal.
Rushing to brush immediately after every meal may seem like a great way to keep your oral health in check, but according to Greg Diamond, DDS, a New York City periodontist, it’s better to hold off. Food can leave acid on your teeth, which can weaken the enamel, “and brushing while the enamel is in a weakened state can actually scrub the enamel away.” To dislodge any food particles that may remain after eating, he recommends simply rinsing your mouth out with water and saving the brushing for morning and night. Then when you do brush, be sure to do so in a circular motion. According to Dr. Diamond, this will improve your chances of removing harmful bacteria between the teeth and gums. Brushing up and down or back and forth, on the other hand, can leave behind harmful bacteria, causing gum disease; while applying too much pressure can lead to receding gums.
5. Doing only cardio when you work out.
It’s easy to assume that the best way to lose weight is to stick to the same cardio workout, but “if you only do cardio, your body will become so accustomed to the routine that you’ll start to burn less fat over time,” says Joseph Ciccone, DPT, CSCS, a physical therapist at ColumbiaDoctors Eastside Sports Therapy in New York. Plus, going through repeated motions on the treadmill or elliptical machine can create tight muscles and lead to injury. Trade in a few of your cardio workouts for circuit training, which involves doing a number of different strength training exercises with little rest between moves in order to keep your heart rate up while also working out your entire body, ensuring that you’ll burn the most calories—without burning out. Integrating resistance training into your routine will create muscle mass, which will help you burn more calories throughout the day, even when you’re at rest, says Jennifer Fleischer, exercise and nutrition coach and owner of Holistic Fitness in San Francisco. She also recommends revamping your cardio routine by mixing in interval training once a week. Try doing 30 seconds of high intensity motion, whether you’re on the treadmill, elliptical machine or in the swimming pool, followed by 90 seconds of recovery at a moderate pace, working your way up to 10 repetitions. The bursts of intensity followed by recovery will effectively and efficiently blast calories and fat.
6. Skipping meals to “save up” for later.
“Women have gotten into the habit of saving their calories for the fun stuff later on,” says Danine Fruge, MD, associate medical director at Pritikin Longevity Center + Spa in Miami. For example, many women will hold off on eating lunch so that they can have a few glasses of wine to unwind at the end of the day. Not a problem as long as you’re carefully allocating your calories, right? “Unfortunately when you don’t eat breakfast or lunch you can develop cravings and irritability, which can lead to overeating later on in the day,” she explains. A smarter approach to eating: Fill up on protein-packed meals and nutrient-rich snacks that'll keep your satisfied all day, so when dinnertime or cocktail hour rolls around you won’t be tempted to fill your plate with calorie-rich and high-fat foods.
7. Drinking only bottled water.
By reaching for a bottle of H20 you may think you’re doing your body some good by avoiding tap water, which can be filled with who-knows-what. But that's not the case. “Bottled water contains no fluoride, and we’re seeing more and more adults suffer from a fluoride deficiency, which can lead to tooth decay,” says Dr. Diamond. “Instead, fill your glass with water purified by a Brita or PUR water filtration system” which will keep your water free from impurities commonly found in tap water, but still allow you to reap the benefits of fluoride.
8. Cleaning with disinfecting products.
While keeping your home pristine and germ-free may seem like the path to perfect health, using cleansers that boast antibacterial or disinfecting properties could have the opposite effect. “These products haven’t been proven to be any more effective than regular cleaning products, and there is significant evidence that the chemicals in these disinfecting cleansers—called quaternary ammonium compounds––can lead to asthma,” says Rebecca Sutton, PhD, senior scientist at the Environmental Working Group. Other cleaning product chemicals to avoid include 2-butoxyethanol, which the Environmental Protection Agency considers a human carcinogen and has been linked to cancer; alkylphenol ethoxylates, which can disrupt hormones; and ethanolamines, which can cause asthma. But because cleaning product companies aren’t required to list most ingredients on their product labels (you can call or go online instead), it can be tough to know what to buy. However, Seventh Generation, an eco-friendly company, clearly lists their ingredients on their labels, so that's one option. Another, which Dr. Sutton recommends, is cleaning with a mixture of one part water and one part vinegar, or scrubbing surfaces with baking soda, both of which have natural antibacterial properties. She emphasizes that when it comes to ousting germs, the key is cleaning often and thoroughly—not blasting every surface with the harshest cleaner you can find. “Your goal should be to clean regularly,” says Dr. Sutton. “That way you’ll get rid of dirt, so there’s no place for bacteria to grow.”
9. Loading up on nutritional supplements
When it comes to vitamins and minerals, more is better, right? Not always, says Christine Rosenbloom, PhD, RD, professor emeritus at Georgia State University. “People often take nutritional supplements without really understanding what they’re consuming, or if they really need them.” Because so many foods are fortified these days, she notes that chances are many of us don’t have any major nutritional deficiencies. If you are already getting enough of what you need, the best case scenario is that the supplements will have no effect on you. But there are more serious side effects of carelessly popping pills: Vitamin A in large amounts can be toxic to a developing fetus, vitamin C in large doses can cause gastrointestinal distress as well as interfere with glucose readings in people on diabetes medications and too much vitamin B6 can cause nerve damage. Since a 2009 study in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition concluded that in the absence of a deficiency, eating food instead of taking supplements should be the primary way to fulfill nutritional requirements and deliver health benefits, Dr. Rosenbloom suggests visiting MyPyramidTracker.gov where you can input the foods that you eat daily and the site will tell you what you need to add to your diet. If you find out that you need to up your intake of, say, calcium, “try integrating calcium-rich foods into your diet, like a glass of skim milk or a spinach salad,” before making a beeline to the supplements aisle. If you do learn that supplements are the best choice to remedy a deficiency, look for "USP" printed on the label, which signifies that the pill meets the standards of the testing organization U.S. Pharmacopeia.
Somebody's Got To Save This Country From Certain Doom, And Let's Face It, That Person Is Me
From The Onion, a fake op ed by Republican presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann:
Our country faces a moment of extreme crisis. We stand at the verge of an utter breakdown of our economy, our government, and our way of life. Democracy itself is at a crossroads, and without proper guidance, the United States of America will face grave times ahead. During this period of great tumult, someone needs to step in and fix these complex and enormous problems, and when it comes to the question of who is truly up to this task, I think we can all agree that person is—hands down and without question—me, Michele Bachmann.
Look at it logically for a minute. Of the 300 million people in the United States, who stands out as the one most capable of uniting a divided country and fixing a fractured Congress? Talk about a no-brainer. With my track record of urging white people to take back America, attending a church that believes the pope is the Antichrist, and advocating "conversion therapy" as a means to cure homosexuality, I'm clearly the only legitimate choice to become the next leader of the free world.
You know it and I know it.
It's just a plain and simple fact: When you close your eyes and think, "President of the United States of America," whose face immediately pops into your mind? Of course it's mine. After all, this is the face of a woman who instills confidence in the entire populace by having no understanding of basic American history and making a huge public outcry over a proposed change in lightbulbs.
We all know the outcome of this election is a foregone conclusion, and I personally wish we could just get it over with already so I could get to work abolishing the minimum wage and making sure public schools start teaching creationism.
Who, other than me, would you prefer to have leading high-level talks on the economy, or making the final decision as to whether or not the United States should invade another country? I certainly can't think of anyone else. Can you? Clearly, fixing the trade deficit, working with the president of China to foster a cordial, mutually beneficial relationship, and leading the strongest military on earth is what I was born to do. It's just so easy to picture me doing all those things. And while I admit there are some jobs I perhaps wouldn't be right for, I think we all agree what I can do is fix everything that is wrong with this country, all at once.
Let's look at the facts: I started my political career by praying on sidewalks and blocking women from entering abortion clinics. I have said on the floor of the House of Representatives that carbon dioxide is a "natural by- product of nature" and thus nothing to worry about. I've frequently misled voters about my family background, falsely claimed our health care system is the finest in the world, and suggested a McCarthy-esque witch hunt be conducted in order to root out members of Congress who are un-American.
If you weren't on board before reading those stellar credentials, do I even have to ask now? Just imagine a world in which I am the nation's 45th president. Doesn't that give you peace of mind and assurance that everything will finally be all right?
Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, Kennedy, Bachmann. Some things just make sense. Washington led this country to its independence. FDR guided the United States through the Great Depression and World War II. And I've suggested teachers could use The Lion King in their classrooms as an example of gay propaganda.
If anyone can bring dignity to the White House, I think we can unequivocally say it's me.
Picture it: It's late January, there's a joint session of Congress, and the House doorkeeper guy says the words, "Mr. Speaker, the president of the United States." Can you possibly conceive of anyone other than myself entering that chamber—the same place where Franklin Delano Roosevelt addressed the country after Pearl Harbor—and delivering the State of the Union, a speech listened to by the entire global community? Could there be any better signal to the rest of the world that the United States is a country to be taken seriously? And is there really anyone else you would rather have standing behind a podium reserved for the planet's most powerful human being?
That's what I thought.
Our country faces a moment of extreme crisis. We stand at the verge of an utter breakdown of our economy, our government, and our way of life. Democracy itself is at a crossroads, and without proper guidance, the United States of America will face grave times ahead. During this period of great tumult, someone needs to step in and fix these complex and enormous problems, and when it comes to the question of who is truly up to this task, I think we can all agree that person is—hands down and without question—me, Michele Bachmann.
Look at it logically for a minute. Of the 300 million people in the United States, who stands out as the one most capable of uniting a divided country and fixing a fractured Congress? Talk about a no-brainer. With my track record of urging white people to take back America, attending a church that believes the pope is the Antichrist, and advocating "conversion therapy" as a means to cure homosexuality, I'm clearly the only legitimate choice to become the next leader of the free world.
You know it and I know it.
It's just a plain and simple fact: When you close your eyes and think, "President of the United States of America," whose face immediately pops into your mind? Of course it's mine. After all, this is the face of a woman who instills confidence in the entire populace by having no understanding of basic American history and making a huge public outcry over a proposed change in lightbulbs.
We all know the outcome of this election is a foregone conclusion, and I personally wish we could just get it over with already so I could get to work abolishing the minimum wage and making sure public schools start teaching creationism.
Who, other than me, would you prefer to have leading high-level talks on the economy, or making the final decision as to whether or not the United States should invade another country? I certainly can't think of anyone else. Can you? Clearly, fixing the trade deficit, working with the president of China to foster a cordial, mutually beneficial relationship, and leading the strongest military on earth is what I was born to do. It's just so easy to picture me doing all those things. And while I admit there are some jobs I perhaps wouldn't be right for, I think we all agree what I can do is fix everything that is wrong with this country, all at once.
Let's look at the facts: I started my political career by praying on sidewalks and blocking women from entering abortion clinics. I have said on the floor of the House of Representatives that carbon dioxide is a "natural by- product of nature" and thus nothing to worry about. I've frequently misled voters about my family background, falsely claimed our health care system is the finest in the world, and suggested a McCarthy-esque witch hunt be conducted in order to root out members of Congress who are un-American.
If you weren't on board before reading those stellar credentials, do I even have to ask now? Just imagine a world in which I am the nation's 45th president. Doesn't that give you peace of mind and assurance that everything will finally be all right?
Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, Kennedy, Bachmann. Some things just make sense. Washington led this country to its independence. FDR guided the United States through the Great Depression and World War II. And I've suggested teachers could use The Lion King in their classrooms as an example of gay propaganda.
If anyone can bring dignity to the White House, I think we can unequivocally say it's me.
Picture it: It's late January, there's a joint session of Congress, and the House doorkeeper guy says the words, "Mr. Speaker, the president of the United States." Can you possibly conceive of anyone other than myself entering that chamber—the same place where Franklin Delano Roosevelt addressed the country after Pearl Harbor—and delivering the State of the Union, a speech listened to by the entire global community? Could there be any better signal to the rest of the world that the United States is a country to be taken seriously? And is there really anyone else you would rather have standing behind a podium reserved for the planet's most powerful human being?
That's what I thought.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
You're Welcome To Read This
The whole American thank-you dynamic is just very odd to me. How do they teach this to foreigners?
"When you pick up my bag, I'll say 'Thank you.'"
"You will order me to thank myself?"
"No, it's my way of saying that I'm grateful."
"Oh, so you said 'Thanks, you'?"
"No, it's 'Thank you.'"
"Oh. So then what do I say in return?"
"Tell me, 'You're welcome.'"
"You're welcome to do what? To thank me again? Will we not get stuck in a loop this way?"
"Well, no, to... um..."
"To remain in my presence, now that you have properly thanked me?"
"...I suppose you could just say 'Thank you' back to me..."
"So now I am owing you thanks because you extended me the basic courtesy of acknowledging that I just picked up your bag for you? Helping you has put me in debt?"
"On second thought, just say 'Glad to help.' Better yet, maybe you should just leave my bags alone."
"When you pick up my bag, I'll say 'Thank you.'"
"You will order me to thank myself?"
"No, it's my way of saying that I'm grateful."
"Oh, so you said 'Thanks, you'?"
"No, it's 'Thank you.'"
"Oh. So then what do I say in return?"
"Tell me, 'You're welcome.'"
"You're welcome to do what? To thank me again? Will we not get stuck in a loop this way?"
"Well, no, to... um..."
"To remain in my presence, now that you have properly thanked me?"
"...I suppose you could just say 'Thank you' back to me..."
"So now I am owing you thanks because you extended me the basic courtesy of acknowledging that I just picked up your bag for you? Helping you has put me in debt?"
"On second thought, just say 'Glad to help.' Better yet, maybe you should just leave my bags alone."
Becoming Superior
"Others may have more ability than you, they may be larger, faster, quicker, better jumpers, better shooters, but no one should be your superior in respect to team spirit, loyalty, enthusiasm, cooperation, determination, industriousness, fight, effort and character." - John Wooden
Team spirit. Enthusiasm. Determination. Effort. Character. They make such sense, intellectually. Something bad happens... see it as not so bad. See the world around as missing a few smiles, and fill in the gaps. Take a second wind after receiving a body blow.
Few of us will star in the work place, any more than on the court. That's the nature of teams.
But we can star in the way we carry ourselves. Measuring against the standard of the best we think we can be. Focusing on character more than reputation. At the end of the day, did I make good choices consistently, or did I get distracted? A day spent on task is the superior day.
Team spirit. Enthusiasm. Determination. Effort. Character. They make such sense, intellectually. Something bad happens... see it as not so bad. See the world around as missing a few smiles, and fill in the gaps. Take a second wind after receiving a body blow.
Few of us will star in the work place, any more than on the court. That's the nature of teams.
But we can star in the way we carry ourselves. Measuring against the standard of the best we think we can be. Focusing on character more than reputation. At the end of the day, did I make good choices consistently, or did I get distracted? A day spent on task is the superior day.
Build Your Own Breakthrough
"I was given an opportunity, and I cherished it."
"I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. So I sold the mirror." - Sam Worthington, star of Avatar
Worthington was an obscure, homeless Australian who sent a tape to James Cameron and ended up fronting the highest-grossing movie of all time. That short sells the relentless work he put in to be ready for his break when it arrived.
During bit parts in American movies that shot scenes in Australia, he saw every day at work as an opportunity to learn. Standing in blinding rain 50 yards from the actors, he strained his neck to search for something to purloin. The lesson: No matter how bad your day is going, find something, anything, to take from it.
"I looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. So I sold the mirror." - Sam Worthington, star of Avatar
Worthington was an obscure, homeless Australian who sent a tape to James Cameron and ended up fronting the highest-grossing movie of all time. That short sells the relentless work he put in to be ready for his break when it arrived.
During bit parts in American movies that shot scenes in Australia, he saw every day at work as an opportunity to learn. Standing in blinding rain 50 yards from the actors, he strained his neck to search for something to purloin. The lesson: No matter how bad your day is going, find something, anything, to take from it.
How To Act Tough
"Find the will by envisioning what you want and believing you deserve it." - Vince Gilligan
You may not be attempting to reach through fire, but you either have or can easily have a sense of what you really want. Are you willing to work hard for it, to stay steady at the roadblocks and potholes? Then you deserve it. Go get it!
You may not be attempting to reach through fire, but you either have or can easily have a sense of what you really want. Are you willing to work hard for it, to stay steady at the roadblocks and potholes? Then you deserve it. Go get it!
How Can I Tell If Someone's Lying?
Here are six tells from a former FBI agent.
1. Pursing the lips. Stressed people (and chimps, FYI) do it.
2. Crinkling the nose. Of course, there could just be a bad souffle nearby.
3. Idle stroking of the throat. It's a vulnerable area.
4. Raising the shoulders. It's a non-committal sign.
5. Clearing the throat. Or if the voice pitch rises.
6. Rubbing the eyes. Even blind people do this when being evasive.
Useful to keep in mind during the next crucial conversation with a co-worker or child.
1. Pursing the lips. Stressed people (and chimps, FYI) do it.
2. Crinkling the nose. Of course, there could just be a bad souffle nearby.
3. Idle stroking of the throat. It's a vulnerable area.
4. Raising the shoulders. It's a non-committal sign.
5. Clearing the throat. Or if the voice pitch rises.
6. Rubbing the eyes. Even blind people do this when being evasive.
Useful to keep in mind during the next crucial conversation with a co-worker or child.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Clean Practice
"Practice makes perfect only if you practice perfect." - Anonymous
Thirty minutes. That's all it took to put a cleaner and rag to all the surfaces in the office. It set the tone for what turned out to be a great week. Just goes to show how few little things need to be taken care of in order to make a difference.
Thirty minutes. That's all it took to put a cleaner and rag to all the surfaces in the office. It set the tone for what turned out to be a great week. Just goes to show how few little things need to be taken care of in order to make a difference.
Taking A Peak
"You will be as small as your controlling desire, as great as your dominant aspiration." - Anonymous
I don't know about you, but when I spend more time thinking about the next thing rather than the last thing, I'm a much happier person!
But which next thing? Tomorrow I'll have some pain in my shoulder and hamstring. I'll also read about coaching basketball, take in some sunshine, and stretch the legs on the bike. It all lays foundation for brighter things.
I don't know about you, but when I spend more time thinking about the next thing rather than the last thing, I'm a much happier person!
But which next thing? Tomorrow I'll have some pain in my shoulder and hamstring. I'll also read about coaching basketball, take in some sunshine, and stretch the legs on the bike. It all lays foundation for brighter things.
Success At Great Length
"Success is achieved in inches, not miles." - Anonymous
2,172 puzzle pieces looking up from the desk. Ten thousand blades of grass. A patchwork of scattered nonsense at first. The kind of mess that lends itself to abandonment. But pluck comes from vision. The photo on the box foretells what is to come with focus and time. Dead ends are not so. Life's puzzles are similar.
2,172 puzzle pieces looking up from the desk. Ten thousand blades of grass. A patchwork of scattered nonsense at first. The kind of mess that lends itself to abandonment. But pluck comes from vision. The photo on the box foretells what is to come with focus and time. Dead ends are not so. Life's puzzles are similar.
Brain Trust
"The large prefrontal cortex is the uniquely human piece of the brain... For better or worse, humans have a complex capacity for modulating pain, for dwelling on its unpleasantness or suppressing it altogether." - Sports Illustrated
When you watch an insect land and bite, you feel the pain instantly. If it sneaks up on you, you might not notice for several days.
When someone makes a comment or gesture, we can regard it deeply, or dismissively. Dismissively helps keep things on a light and even keel.
When you watch an insect land and bite, you feel the pain instantly. If it sneaks up on you, you might not notice for several days.
When someone makes a comment or gesture, we can regard it deeply, or dismissively. Dismissively helps keep things on a light and even keel.
Kiwanis II District Division 22
Dena's Kiwanis club hails from one of 8 towns in its district. And I can never keep it straight. So here they are:
Bloomington
El Paso
Farmer City
Leroy
Lexington
Normal
Olympia
Pontiac
Let's go with FB POLLEN as the acronym of choice. I've yet to come up with a more exciting one.
Bloomington
El Paso
Farmer City
Leroy
Lexington
Normal
Olympia
Pontiac
Let's go with FB POLLEN as the acronym of choice. I've yet to come up with a more exciting one.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Gecko Man
What happens after lying poolside on a 100 degree heat index day for two hours?
The thermometer said my temperature was 97.8 degrees.
A half hour later, it read 97.3.
Amazing how the efficient the body is at cooling itself. Also, since humans' body temp should be 98.6, interesting to discover that I'm part lizard.
The thermometer said my temperature was 97.8 degrees.
A half hour later, it read 97.3.
Amazing how the efficient the body is at cooling itself. Also, since humans' body temp should be 98.6, interesting to discover that I'm part lizard.
The Best Laid Plans... Are Worth Making Anyway
"Every minute spent in planning will save you two in execution." - Henry Kaisner
Lately I've been doing a 2,000 piece jigsaw puzzle for some mental exercise.
I don't do them often. At the start it's a big heap of mish-mashed colors and shapes. A ton of tree and sky pieces. Like any puzzler, I start out searching for border pieces which come easily. Then, it's like sifting through the ocean. Sloshing handfuls of pieces aside, coming up empty, and later forgetting where I'd already sloshed, so re-sloshing.
Eventually I come to my senses. I realize that there are other "borders" - such as places where tree lines or mountain slopes meet the sky and can be lined up with minimal trial and error. I discern that there are limited shapes, and start assigning names to their outlines. "Man with raised arms." "Man with two clubbed feet." And so on. It creates yet another type of sorting that simplifies the process.
Work's gotten better in the last month as we've continued to manufacture products. We've figuring out how to schedule tasks. Spending less time combing through memory in order to meet deadlines. The plans aren't perfect, because shore sands shift. But the act of trying creates improvement in two ways. First, it minimizes the impact of unforeseen twists. Second, it brings confidence that we are operating as efficiently as we can, and learning from it.
Lately I've been doing a 2,000 piece jigsaw puzzle for some mental exercise.
I don't do them often. At the start it's a big heap of mish-mashed colors and shapes. A ton of tree and sky pieces. Like any puzzler, I start out searching for border pieces which come easily. Then, it's like sifting through the ocean. Sloshing handfuls of pieces aside, coming up empty, and later forgetting where I'd already sloshed, so re-sloshing.
Eventually I come to my senses. I realize that there are other "borders" - such as places where tree lines or mountain slopes meet the sky and can be lined up with minimal trial and error. I discern that there are limited shapes, and start assigning names to their outlines. "Man with raised arms." "Man with two clubbed feet." And so on. It creates yet another type of sorting that simplifies the process.
Work's gotten better in the last month as we've continued to manufacture products. We've figuring out how to schedule tasks. Spending less time combing through memory in order to meet deadlines. The plans aren't perfect, because shore sands shift. But the act of trying creates improvement in two ways. First, it minimizes the impact of unforeseen twists. Second, it brings confidence that we are operating as efficiently as we can, and learning from it.
Happy Trails
"Why stay on earth except to grow?" - Robert Browning
While taking a walk a few weeks ago, I wondered what brings happiness.
Hidden Bloggers know that I'm a sucker for a cheering crowd. Whether as a performer or as a spectator. The Miracle on Ice upset in Olympic hockey. The thrill of a last-second score. The final scene of Mr. Holland's Opus.
Must happiness be a triumph over adversity? Must it include conflict, a loser on the other end of the equation?
Struggle can heighten it, for sure. Overcoming obstacles boosts the sense of reaching a mountaintop, strikes a chord with each of us who've ever given up at something.
There are alternatives though.
There is serene happiness... that of just being in stillness. Taking in beauty in all of its forms, through the eyes and ears and nose and touch. Brilliant stars. Chocolate chip cookies. The act of thankfulness brings serenity in waves.
There's joy in growth. Learning interesting things to think or talk about. Physical growth in body, or in building something. Mastering a skill.
Joy in service. Teaching. Comforting.
Physical pleasure springs happiness. Good food, a hug, rays of sunshine.
Being loved is a current of happiness.
A sense of freedom, of being safe. Hearing humor or a good story.
A good night's sleep.
And of course, being in an exuberant crowd.
With compliments to Mr. Browning, growth is a reason to stay on earth. It's just one of many happy trails.
While taking a walk a few weeks ago, I wondered what brings happiness.
Hidden Bloggers know that I'm a sucker for a cheering crowd. Whether as a performer or as a spectator. The Miracle on Ice upset in Olympic hockey. The thrill of a last-second score. The final scene of Mr. Holland's Opus.
Must happiness be a triumph over adversity? Must it include conflict, a loser on the other end of the equation?
Struggle can heighten it, for sure. Overcoming obstacles boosts the sense of reaching a mountaintop, strikes a chord with each of us who've ever given up at something.
There are alternatives though.
There is serene happiness... that of just being in stillness. Taking in beauty in all of its forms, through the eyes and ears and nose and touch. Brilliant stars. Chocolate chip cookies. The act of thankfulness brings serenity in waves.
There's joy in growth. Learning interesting things to think or talk about. Physical growth in body, or in building something. Mastering a skill.
Joy in service. Teaching. Comforting.
Physical pleasure springs happiness. Good food, a hug, rays of sunshine.
Being loved is a current of happiness.
A sense of freedom, of being safe. Hearing humor or a good story.
A good night's sleep.
And of course, being in an exuberant crowd.
With compliments to Mr. Browning, growth is a reason to stay on earth. It's just one of many happy trails.
God's Will, Part 2
"You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine." - John Maxwell
Lately I've been taking my pulse while at the office, out of curiosity as to its effect on my health. The early returns are that my blood pressure is 20% higher than at home. That'd make a little more sense if my job was moving furniture. But sitting at a staff meeting? Seems like something should change.
Anticipated conflict is likely at the root of some of it. Maybe even interpersonal conflict, since there are bound to be differences of opinion on a project, or in philosophy. Not uncommonly, it'll generate some frustration or tease the fringes of anger.
I choose to view God as personal, and also as the creator of the universe. It comforts me that I find it difficult to get angry at God, even when there’s perhaps a logical case for it. When a hundred tornadoes come sweeping out of the sky and devastate thousands of lives in Joplin Missouri and elsewhere, the responsible party seems straightfoward.
My personal relationships are usually stronger when we’re in contact regularly. I think that aids my God-relationship too. Every day I experience a thousand blessings of nature, relationships, health and resources. These innumerable privileges have deposited an inexhaustible account balance of gratefulness. Even if I'm taken by the same disease that's felled the last couple generations... this life's been a gift.
Of course, the physical toll of 100 mph wind may seem less damaging than the pointed rebuke of a neighbor. Somehow it adds a degree of personal responsibility that's tough to shake, leaves a sense that we could do something differently to fix things. This is what spikes blood pressure in unhealthy ways.
So what to change? Perception, for one. Something we do will draw ire. Is that God's will? Right or wrong, I find calmness in seeing it that way. It dissolves dread beforehand and torment afterward. I still feel compelled to give my best, while sleeping well at night. And, with practice, while enjoying my resting heart rate throughout the day.
Lately I've been taking my pulse while at the office, out of curiosity as to its effect on my health. The early returns are that my blood pressure is 20% higher than at home. That'd make a little more sense if my job was moving furniture. But sitting at a staff meeting? Seems like something should change.
Anticipated conflict is likely at the root of some of it. Maybe even interpersonal conflict, since there are bound to be differences of opinion on a project, or in philosophy. Not uncommonly, it'll generate some frustration or tease the fringes of anger.
I choose to view God as personal, and also as the creator of the universe. It comforts me that I find it difficult to get angry at God, even when there’s perhaps a logical case for it. When a hundred tornadoes come sweeping out of the sky and devastate thousands of lives in Joplin Missouri and elsewhere, the responsible party seems straightfoward.
My personal relationships are usually stronger when we’re in contact regularly. I think that aids my God-relationship too. Every day I experience a thousand blessings of nature, relationships, health and resources. These innumerable privileges have deposited an inexhaustible account balance of gratefulness. Even if I'm taken by the same disease that's felled the last couple generations... this life's been a gift.
Of course, the physical toll of 100 mph wind may seem less damaging than the pointed rebuke of a neighbor. Somehow it adds a degree of personal responsibility that's tough to shake, leaves a sense that we could do something differently to fix things. This is what spikes blood pressure in unhealthy ways.
So what to change? Perception, for one. Something we do will draw ire. Is that God's will? Right or wrong, I find calmness in seeing it that way. It dissolves dread beforehand and torment afterward. I still feel compelled to give my best, while sleeping well at night. And, with practice, while enjoying my resting heart rate throughout the day.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Country Joe McDonald On Hidden Blog Merger: Huh?
Country Joe McDonald, the singer of the 1970's who continues to dominate Internet searches to the discredit of all other Joe McDonalds who just so happen not to have performed at Woodstock, reacted with confusion to reports of a merger with Hidden Blog.
"It's brand strengthening," said the blog's founder and namesake. "People who Google the name and for whatever reason go straight to the 40th page of results, might see me there and misconceive it as some exceedingly rare title for a man. By partnering up with this other Joe McDonald, it becomes clearer that this is a brand that is no accident - it dates back to at least the 1940's and will last for more than 100 years."
Spokespersons refer to the Woodstock singer as "Phase 1" or "1" in the course of business, and the blogger as "2."
"Huh?" replied 1 when asked to comment on the potential benefits of the association with Hidden Blog, before walking away from a Berkley, California produce stand while looking back apprehensively over his shoulder.
Don't Get Hooked On Cracks
Your real "problem" is not what you think it is...Your real problem is the fact you think you are not supposed to have any! Problems are a sign of life.. they call us to grow! Step up! - Tony Robbins
Do we have real problems? Like nowhere to sleep, nothing to eat? Most problems are just cracks in the sidewalk. We should be ready for them so as not to be tripped up when they inevitably come... then walk right past them with a slight adjustment to our step.
Do we have real problems? Like nowhere to sleep, nothing to eat? Most problems are just cracks in the sidewalk. We should be ready for them so as not to be tripped up when they inevitably come... then walk right past them with a slight adjustment to our step.
U.S. Government Replaces Food Pyramid With MyPlate
From Healthy Living:
You probably know that it’s best to eat a variety of healthy foods of every day. But it can be hard to figure out the correct amounts to consume unless you carry around a food scale and measuring cups. And many people were confused by the U.S. government’s earlier attempt to clarify the issue, the Food Pyramid, a triangle divided into sections representing food groups. That’s why the Department of Agriculture has replaced the pyramid with a symbol called MyPlate, which shows how the recommended amounts might look on a plate.
The MyPlate icon is a round plate divided into four sections, each of which represents a different type of food or nutrient – fruits, vegetables, grains, and protein. The size of each section shows the recommended proportion of each food, and a smaller circle next to the plate represents dairy products. The basic message of MyPlate is to fill half your plate with fruits and vegetables, and divide the other half between grains and protein, while also consuming milk or other dairy products.
When you go to the USDA’s MyPlate site at www.ChooseMyPlate.gov, you’ll see links related to each recommendation. For example, for each food group you can click on links that tell what’s in the group, what its health benefits are, and how much of it you need to eat. Here are some of the key recommendations of the MyPlate guidelines:
Choose whole or cut-up fruits. MyPlate guidelines recommend that you choose mainly whole or cut-up fruit (instead of juice) for the dietary fiber it provides. However, any 100 percent-fruit juice counts toward meeting your daily fruit requirement, and fruits can be fresh, canned, frozen, or dried.
Eat vegetables from each of five groups. You don’t have to eat all of these five vegetable groups every day: beans and peas, dark green vegetables, red and orange vegetables, starchy vegetables, and other vegetables (including avocado, celery, mushrooms, onions, and zucchini). Just try to have some from each group every week, because vegetables differ in their nutrients.
Make at least half of your grains whole grains. The MyPlate guidelines define grains as “any food made from wheat, rice, oats, cornmeal, barley, or another cereal grain.” They also recommend whole grains instead of refined grains (which have had some nutrients removed). Look for the words “whole grain” or “whole wheat” on the label, the USDA advises. Foods that say “multi-grain,” “stone-ground,” “100 percent wheat” and “cracked wheat” are “usually not whole grain products,” the agency says.
Choose lean meat and poultry. All foods made from meat, poultry, seafood, eggs, nuts, seeds, and processed soy products fall into the MyPlate “protein foods group” along with beans and peas (which are also part of the vegetable group). To get the most benefits from this group, the USDA recommends eating a variety of foods from it, “including at least 8 ounces of cooked seafood per week.”
Switch to fat-free or low-fat milk. You can meet your dairy requirements with milk, cheese, yogurt, milk-based desserts, or a calcium-fortified soy beverage. If you drink milk, switch to fat-free or low-fat (1 percent) milk, the MyPlate guidelines suggest. The site also has tips for people who are lactose-intolerant.
If you’d like to receive a customized food plan designed for your needs, click on the “Interactive Tools” link on the home page of the MyPlate site and then answer a few basic questions about your age, gender, and activity level.
You probably know that it’s best to eat a variety of healthy foods of every day. But it can be hard to figure out the correct amounts to consume unless you carry around a food scale and measuring cups. And many people were confused by the U.S. government’s earlier attempt to clarify the issue, the Food Pyramid, a triangle divided into sections representing food groups. That’s why the Department of Agriculture has replaced the pyramid with a symbol called MyPlate, which shows how the recommended amounts might look on a plate.
The MyPlate icon is a round plate divided into four sections, each of which represents a different type of food or nutrient – fruits, vegetables, grains, and protein. The size of each section shows the recommended proportion of each food, and a smaller circle next to the plate represents dairy products. The basic message of MyPlate is to fill half your plate with fruits and vegetables, and divide the other half between grains and protein, while also consuming milk or other dairy products.
When you go to the USDA’s MyPlate site at www.ChooseMyPlate.gov, you’ll see links related to each recommendation. For example, for each food group you can click on links that tell what’s in the group, what its health benefits are, and how much of it you need to eat. Here are some of the key recommendations of the MyPlate guidelines:
Choose whole or cut-up fruits. MyPlate guidelines recommend that you choose mainly whole or cut-up fruit (instead of juice) for the dietary fiber it provides. However, any 100 percent-fruit juice counts toward meeting your daily fruit requirement, and fruits can be fresh, canned, frozen, or dried.
Eat vegetables from each of five groups. You don’t have to eat all of these five vegetable groups every day: beans and peas, dark green vegetables, red and orange vegetables, starchy vegetables, and other vegetables (including avocado, celery, mushrooms, onions, and zucchini). Just try to have some from each group every week, because vegetables differ in their nutrients.
Make at least half of your grains whole grains. The MyPlate guidelines define grains as “any food made from wheat, rice, oats, cornmeal, barley, or another cereal grain.” They also recommend whole grains instead of refined grains (which have had some nutrients removed). Look for the words “whole grain” or “whole wheat” on the label, the USDA advises. Foods that say “multi-grain,” “stone-ground,” “100 percent wheat” and “cracked wheat” are “usually not whole grain products,” the agency says.
Choose lean meat and poultry. All foods made from meat, poultry, seafood, eggs, nuts, seeds, and processed soy products fall into the MyPlate “protein foods group” along with beans and peas (which are also part of the vegetable group). To get the most benefits from this group, the USDA recommends eating a variety of foods from it, “including at least 8 ounces of cooked seafood per week.”
Switch to fat-free or low-fat milk. You can meet your dairy requirements with milk, cheese, yogurt, milk-based desserts, or a calcium-fortified soy beverage. If you drink milk, switch to fat-free or low-fat (1 percent) milk, the MyPlate guidelines suggest. The site also has tips for people who are lactose-intolerant.
If you’d like to receive a customized food plan designed for your needs, click on the “Interactive Tools” link on the home page of the MyPlate site and then answer a few basic questions about your age, gender, and activity level.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Center Seat
While sitting in a lounge chair on a recent steamy day I noticed that one leg was running a little hotter. I glanced down and saw that my left leg was brushing against a metal armrest. Meanwhile my right leg had an inch of clearance from the armrest on that side. I felt centered, but was not.
Isn't it easy to get off center? Obsessing over this task, or this person. Saying things so flippantly as to wound others without realizing that we're doing it. There's real cost when we stop being self-aware, when we mistake ourselves for the center of the universe instead of one small part of it.
I shifted in my seat. And this week, tried to shift self-thinking from the role of driver to passenger.
Isn't it easy to get off center? Obsessing over this task, or this person. Saying things so flippantly as to wound others without realizing that we're doing it. There's real cost when we stop being self-aware, when we mistake ourselves for the center of the universe instead of one small part of it.
I shifted in my seat. And this week, tried to shift self-thinking from the role of driver to passenger.
Spiritual Growth
Spiritual growth is a vocab term in many churches. In that context it often refers to scripture study or other activities that bring a member closer to God.
Spiritual growth could also be construed more literally - the growth of one's spirit. Moods run high and low. Can we build habits that stimulate us to the high side? Each person has their own keys. Eat a certain way, read poetry, stretch a few limbs, hug a family member. Figure it out, apply it faithfully. I'd imagine that the greater spirit would be God-pleasing in its own way.
Spiritual growth could also be construed more literally - the growth of one's spirit. Moods run high and low. Can we build habits that stimulate us to the high side? Each person has their own keys. Eat a certain way, read poetry, stretch a few limbs, hug a family member. Figure it out, apply it faithfully. I'd imagine that the greater spirit would be God-pleasing in its own way.
Dreamsercise
Dreams lift the spirits. I find that one of the better ways to dream is to read.
Lately I've been reading "Success: One Day At A Time" by John C. Maxwell.
"When someone is pursuing their dream, they'll go far beyond what seems to be their limitations. The potential that exists within us is limitless and largely untapped."
Streams of sayings like this give pause. Set the book down for a minute. Picture sunny days. Stage performing. Long walks. Cheering crowds. Sleeping in. Video games. Magazines. Leisure. The distance gets brighter, and by extension, today.
Lately I've been reading "Success: One Day At A Time" by John C. Maxwell.
"When someone is pursuing their dream, they'll go far beyond what seems to be their limitations. The potential that exists within us is limitless and largely untapped."
Streams of sayings like this give pause. Set the book down for a minute. Picture sunny days. Stage performing. Long walks. Cheering crowds. Sleeping in. Video games. Magazines. Leisure. The distance gets brighter, and by extension, today.
Shifty Business
"Things are changing, and we can bitch and moan about it, but there's no getting around it. So let's not waste our time and effort trying to stop what's inevitable. This is a league of adaptability, and if you can't adapt, you're going to get lost in the shuffle." - Anonymous football manager
Why beat the ocean with your oar? Use it to steer clear of the waves instead.
Why beat the ocean with your oar? Use it to steer clear of the waves instead.
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