9 Secrets To Our Parenting Success

Growing up I wanted to have two children, since Jack and I had such a fun childhood.

We don't often talk about our kids Thilini (9) and Ernesto (19), and Dena and I are rarely asked.

But if someone asked the secrets of our success:

Thilini never asks us to dress her (also, this is not her).

Ernesto loves having his picture taken, but this is not him.

9.  Write the checks on time. Parenting (critics would argue that it's merely "sponsoring") doesn't have to be time-consuming. But it must be taken seriously. We pay our monthly stipend on time. Our core philosophy, controversial to some: "Don't let them suffer, don't let them starve."

8. Allow them to make mistakes. They have probably made some, maybe many. We don't know. But we have allowed them to happen. And we like to think that they have learned from them.

7. Grant them their privacy. Our kids have never been distracted by our "helicoptering" over them. We stay out of their room. And their country. And they appreciate it, if they know that we exist.

6. Let them find their own style. What kid wants mom or dad picking their clothes for them? Dang! We've never dressed them, and they've turned out fashionably. Probably.

5. Respect their natural rhythms. Dena and I are night owls. Getting up before our body's ready is a drag. So we've never woken up our children. If God wanted us to wake up earlier, wouldn't the sun be a lot noisier?

4. Be on your best behavior. Kids are a product of their environment. People do what people see. Ernie and Thili have never seen us curse. Or drink. Or fight. Or breathe.

3. Be clear. Kids study your every move, word, tone. Verbal and nonverbal messages can send powerful, sometimes mixed messages, leaving kids to wonder how much they're still loved. We have been consistent, each check delivering an implied message of love: "Here's some money. We want you to live. Have a good month."

2. Teach modesty. Spoiled children are a step away from homelessness. No fancy cars from mom and dad. We're pretty sure. At least it wouldn't cover a car payment in the States. Or gas.

1. Let them find their relationship with God. Although Dena and I both believe in God, we've never forced them to go to church, temple, mosque, or whatever nearby building of choice would apply. We've simply tried to live honorably, to model the type of faithful living that they could theoretically hear about second-hand.

We're no more perfect than any other set of parents, and taking family Christmas photos has been a riddle we've yet to solve. But we love our kids every bit as much as our gas, power and cable companies. And we're in it for the long haul.