This morning I woke up with 15 minutes to get prepped and over to church, so I couldn't loosen up the vocal chords and hydrate the way I usually do. I'd fallen asleep at 4:00 a.m. The words to the songs were missing from the bulletin. Midway through rehearsal we were told by an outside party that an extra song was going to be inserted into our set. Then I was asked about volunteering a Saturday to serve at a retreat. Since (as far as I can tell) I was born adverse to change and with a cranky-meter that's fueled by tiredness, it was a blood-pressure-raising 15 minutes. What I'm thankful for is that I was self-aware in that moment. I could identify my stress and stressors. I knew it would pass, as long as I could stay quiet through it. In the long run, inner outbursts over such trivial things are silly wastes of adrenaline that plaque arteries for no good reason. There are strategies, habits that can help prevent them. I've been blessed with enough life experience and with it, a small dose of wisdom, to benefit from it. Well before the end of the hour, I was back to normal.
What is normal? I had the unexpected privilege of entering into a long conversation with a Leadership McLean County class member who has the ambition and personality of a future mayor. I mostly just sat and listened as she talked about a new job change, about her philosophy and dreams, and how she was "on cloud nine." It was humbling to be in the presence of someone so bursting with energy, and a reminder about how good God can be in anyone's life, including to open her eyes to new possibilities and boldness to make the job change. It reminded me more than a little bit of my own decision to follow my calling rather than money. It reminded me of what unbridled enthusiasm and passion looked like. It was an unexpected, impromptu gift. This is one of the memories that should arise brightly whenever I am faced with uncertainty in a situation like at church this morning. No fear, or its ugly anger by-product, can withstand a flood of gratefulness, rightly channeled.
Dena got home from a fantastic walk as I ended that last paragraph. She was fired up about the beautiful weather, heading out to sit on the patio with a hot drink in hand to enjoy the crisp autumn day. She was also ready to talk about some happy things on her mind... meaning that my goal of finishing this post before my 2:00 p.m. tutoring appointment was going to fail. It also meant that I arrived late for that appointment by a few minutes. You know what, I'm a lucky guy that my biggest "failure" of the day was having a wife in such a good mood and eager to share it with me that a couple of things had to wait. There again, inflexibility and anxiety over the illusion of control will cripple, and gratitude heals.
I'm up to ten tutoring students. The other day I was approached by a young professional interested in tutoring math, asking if I could mentor him about my business. Hidden Bloggers know that I got my start this year by doing the same thing; an experienced professional tutor shared his experience with me. It's a great opportunity to pay it forward. Meanwhile, I've been looking for some new branded apparel like polo shirts and sweatshirts for the winter. One of my students asked me if I'd mind taking an hour on Saturday to teach him how to shoot basketballs since he likes the game but hasn't had much tutoring. Yet another chance to pay forward the skills that have been shared with my by the Normal Community High School coaching staff.
I got to hear one of my favorite speakers give a presentation this week. I think coroner Beth Kimmerling is the best coroner in the nation, and it would be very hard for you to sway me otherwise. Her job is a mix of science and compassion so she has to wear many hats. She insists on personally delivering news to next of kin after someone has died. She worked to implement an ethics code for her profession. She takes on the hard jobs with a strong sense of commitment. These are the kind of people who reinforce what it means to be a success.
Now that the evenings are darker by the time change, we can give thanks for the extra hour of sleep and remember... only six weeks until the days start getting longer again.
May the new week bring peace and love, riding high on a sea of personal gratitude!
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