Trust Muster

"Trust is developed through open and honest communication and, once established, creates a shared vision for a common goal." - Mike Krzyzewski

Today one of the supervisors who reports to me was discussing possible plans for career development of one of our employees. We pondered whether a certain cross-training plan with another one of my supervisors might be the way to go. In fact, it seemed to have some promise. But I much prefer, and try to insist, on getting input from all affected parties when making a decision. So when we called in the other supervisor, it was important to me to lay the idea out there as the brainstorm that it was - nothing more or less, otherwise the idea naturally puts a person on the defensive. And quickly the original idea was replaced by a much better one, one that gathered some excitement from both supervisors as I was privileged to sit back and watch it unfold.

It's a beautiful thing to me - to be part of an environment where ideas are impartially exchanged and evaluated for the common good, without uninformed and stifling pressure from upper management over a half-baked idea. Trust blooms!

Jimmy V Quotation

"A person does not become whole until he or she becomes a part of something bigger than himself or herself." - Jimmy Valvano

In other words, none of us is better off completely on our own. The internet gives us greater capability to live in isolation than ever before, but deep down we are social beings. I used interpret "part of something bigger" as a religious reference, but when we spend our time with other people, we are part of a group, and a group is bigger than an individual. I distinctly recall a time in college when I consciously realized how much happier I am being with people than alone. And we owe it to ourselves to find ways to get involved with others, whether its for some noble purpose or just to have a little fun together.

Respect

"When I hear the word 'respect,' I think of treating everyone the same." - Mike Krzyzewski

Naturally, that doesn't mean that everyone is given the exact same result. Krzyzewski goes on to point out how each individual needs a different approach in order to match up with his unique psychology and physiology. But in matters of opportunity and basic appreciation of the skills that he or she has, everyone can be given the same dosage.

Pressure

"If I want into the locker room and said, 'Okay, here is what we need to do. We need to win six games and become National Champions," that would put an undue amount of pressure on the team. Instead, I tell them to focus on one game at a time and to segment the NCAAs in three two-game tournaments... Each of those segments becomes a four team tournament that we have to win in order to advance, and that is much less intimidating." - Mike Krzyzewski

Multi-tasking adds spice to life, but it can be a short leap to being overwhelmed. The difference is focus. This afternoon I made up my mind to catch up on some blogging from several books accumulating on the shelf. Along the way it occasionally occurs to me to shake up the routine and pay a bill, organize some scattered paperwork or grab a snack. But the focus is on the task at hand. More commonly the potential distractions pile on at work... this request for an answer, the person who pops in for a quick question. It takes a real discipline to realize that quality comes from concentration, and not from putting out fires that are less than smoldering. I tend to think that allowing myself to be distracted by littler things is a self-destructive tendency, a means of settling for less than the best life has to offer. We are meant for more than that!

Taking The Road Less Sniveled

"In moments of doubt, I tell my players to listen to that voice inside their head and to be sure that the voice is always positive. It's the one that says things like, 'I'm good' and 'I can do this.' Tune out the voice that says things like, 'Oh no' and 'I'm really in trouble, here.' If you make a habit of this, that negative voice will eventually disappear entirely." - Mike Krzyzewski

They say that love casts out all fear. Confidence does a pretty good job too. We all have resources enough to overcome any circumstance.

Poise

"I tell my players that you never want to show your opponent a weakness through you words, facial expressions, or body language. No matter what they are saying to you, no matter what the crowd is chanting, if you can show poise, you can demonstrate to your opponent that they cannot rattle you. Just keep your mind on what you're doing and maintain that inner balance. Act like you have been there before and that you expect to do well." - Mike Krzyzewski

When said by a basketball coach, poise sounds like keeping a tough face in the heat of battle. I think it can also be applied, though, in our daily smaller skirmishes. If you're like me you have expectations that things will go a certain way. When something pops up unexpectedly, it's not unlike me to give a surprised and meek-sounding "Ohhhh!" Poise can be receiving unexpected news with a calm face instead of a wide-eyed one.

Poise to me isn't about being "man-tough" and refusing to share emotions. Poise and toughness can be reflected as much by a smile as in grimness. Perhaps even more so. The person of a mindset that all will be well is rugged against the worst of times, and their calm in those times reveals a fundamental strength that few ever achieve.

The Fuel Of Common Passion

"In putting together a team, it is important that the leader not be the sole passion-provider for that team. you have to find others who feel the dame way as you do. This is one reason I surround myself with assistant coaches who are equally motivated. During videotape sessions and scouting reports that often last all night, my assistants and I continually find strength and inspiration in each other's drive toward our common goal." - Mike Krzyzewski

Years ago the book "Purpose-Driven Life" was a top-seller. What sense that makes... to find our calling and immerse ourselves in it. And it wouldn't surprise me if often times the real substance of our passion is the people who come along with it, like Krzyzewski and his assistants. Doing something together, it'd seem, trumps most things that are done alone.

Passion

"Because you love what you are pursuing, things like rejection and setbacks will not hinder you in your pursuit. You believe that nothing can stop you!" - Mike Krzyzewski

It's pretty trifling, but earlier this spring I found myself in last place in my fantasy baseball league. With 11 teams above me I would have given up right about then, if I didn't love the game as much as I do. Every day, while those above me were probably losing focus, I waded through free agent players available to be plucked and inserted into my lineup once they got hot. And now just this week I climbed into first place. Now if only I can find something in real life to inspire that same kind of passion!

Making Each Other Better

"We believe that marriage is, above all else, about making each other better." - Mike Krzyzewski

Fortunately, being with Dena has taught me lots through her actions about being all the things that love is: patient, kind, slow to anger, not jealous, rude or boastful. Now if I can just apply what I learn!

To Win, Picture Winning

"In my career as a basketball coach, I have been in countless end-of-game pressure situations that can bring about nerves and anxiety. But because I imagined myself in these positions as a kid, I have always felt like I've been there before. The mind is so powerful. If you commit to utilizing your imagination to envision positive things, you will come to truly believe those things." - Mike Krzyzewski

Likewise there are tons of conflicts in life, or incidents that habitually bring out the worst in us. We worry about our kids' health, or what our customer or boss will think of us. We get irritated by bad drivers, bad weather or bad breath. Like free throws in basketball, we can practice these situations mentally before they arrive, so that we'll respond better the next time.

One area that's plagued me through the years is getting too critical of people I'm close to. Why am I more critical of those who love me the most, and possessing so much patience with people I hardly know who make the same mistakes? I like to think that Dena benefited from some missteps I had the occasion to work through years before I met her. I still slip regularly, but at least of late the ill-fated comments are checked at the door of my mouth before leaving - the teasing comments that cut too deeply, the nagging comment or complaint. To reach the next level, I have to change my habits of thought. And that progress has come, and will come, with deliberate practice.

Exercises To Strengthen My (Family) Core

"A huge part of ensuring that your core is strong is allowing the members of your team to be a part of what you do. I always wanted my wife, my girls and now my sons-in-law and grandchildren to be a part of what I am doing at Duke." - Mike Krzyzewski

I'm no strong family man, but I do realize that in order for my relationship with Dena to grow, I need to be interested in sharing her experiences in the things she loves. Most recently she's been elected Vice President of the local Kiwanis Club. Traditionally this person subsequently becomes President-Elect the following year, and then President.

Kiwanis' mission is to change the world one child at a time. So while children aren't a mission that I identify with, it's fun to listen to her dreams for the direction that the club can go. I try to help brainstorm for ways that they could position themselves to grow.

I'm lucky that she's passionate and confident enough to step into a leadership role even though she's a non-spotlight person. And it gives me a chance to draw from some of the leadership things I've read and done through the years to give as much as she needs.

He Was On A Role

"Shane averaged only about 9 points a game that season, far fewer than Elton's 17. However, he always had a high opinion of his accomplishments and he was never jealous." - Mike Krzyzewski

We're not all called to average 17 points a game. There will be celebrities, superstars, and executives enough for that. There's a role out there somewhere which needs filling and that we'll love. That dissolves jealousy. What more do we need?

Trust Is Job One

"I say, luck favors those who have spent their preparation time building effective systems of communication and trust in one another. That way, when a crisis occurs for you, within your family, your team, or your business, it can turn into an opportunity to shine." - Mike Krzyzewski

Togetherness time has been a great way to lay the groundwork for getting things done in the long run. It's not immediately productive for me to sit in on unit meetings involving employees two or more levels below me... the details of their job often don't touch any of the analytical work I'm called upon to do. But still I strongly believe in the value of being there with them. Only if I know what they do can I be most effective as a leader in giving them what they need. And key to those meetings are listening and laughing, more than scrutinizing or doing anything authoritative. Because people who feel uncomfortable around, or isolated from, their leaders shouldn't be expected to feel like true owners of the organization.

Culture

"I like having my former players as assistants because they have already been a part of the culture we instill in our young men. The bottom line on communication is that everyone on a team should feel comfortable expressing themselves." - Mike Krzyzewski

In relationships at work and at home, culture is the momentum of a thousand small actions. Do we say hello in the morning? Speak well of others not present? Explain our reasoning? Teach patiently? Express, and look for the bright side of, new ideas? Stay cool under pressure? Or not?

Communication

"My team has one rule regarding communication: when you talk to one another, you look each other in the eye. Eye contact is an important act of mutual respect but also enforces the most crucial element of communicating: telling the truth." - Mike Krzyzewski

I have room to improve here. I wonder if it's more common for men or women to make better eye contact? I've heard it said that men tend to communicate side-by-side (think of driving in a truck or sitting at a bar) since face-to-face can suggest confrontation, whereas women are more face-to-face since it suggests intimacy. When your wife names your eyes as her favorite physical feature, you should show 'em!

Adaptability

Young assistant basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski was perplexed why head coach Bobby Knight didn't run a grueling endurance drill for his Indiana team, the way he had as a West Point coach with Krzyzewski as his player.

"Michael," he replied, "there is a big difference between you and Quinn Buckner," referring to Indiana's star player.

At work two supervisors report to me. As we embark on a project to update our job manuals, it's important to me that they each be allowed to add their own style to it. It's also important that they allow their employees to do the same. In the end that will mean a little more variation than if we invented some kind of rigid standards. But the fact is that people's learning styles and comfort zones are unique and personal. The more important result is the buy-in and the sense that they truly own their piece of the project. To me, this is an element of high-functioning teams.