From the Onion:
WASHINGTON—Approaching slowly with their arms spread open wide, thousands of huggers across the country announced their intention for you to get on over here Wednesday. “C’mon, bring it in! Let’s do this,” the nation’s huggers said, adding that someone needed a hug and that person is you. “Get over here, you know what time it is.” At press time, the huggers were reportedly beckoning you to come closer, grinning ear to ear, and nodding their heads in the affirmative.
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