Retreat-In-A-Bottle

Today another three-day Catholic retreat completed. The Mass I attended was joined by forty adult men spanning the decades. They were joyful, back-slapping, even singing - the type of demeanor men typically exhibit only while under the influence of anesthesia. I've been there myself. You walk in as strangers and come out as pals, at least until real life slowly ebbs (but not erases) those bonds.

What is it about these retreats that lifts men to a higher plane of satisfaction, however temporarily? Three days seldom changes the entire course of a life, but if it could be bottled, what ingredients would be stored?

Perhaps it's the sleep? Often there are no electronic devices along to occupy one's thoughts near bedtime. Activities may last until bedtime, but the stillness of being alone with your thoughts in bed can be a healthy meditation and sedative.

Freedom from social inhibition plays a part. The absence of status creates a culture of equal brotherhood. The anonymity of being mostly strangers, and the guidance of the retreat leaders, enables a culture of unfiltered exchange of faith, struggles, handshakes and hugs that simply aren't as likely when walking around in America with a masculine reputation to build.

It might be the separation from responsibility? Work and family responsibilities are gone. For many it may have been the first time since college or earlier that a person was truly single, engrossed in only his state of mind and the path toward happiness.

For me there was a lot to be said for perspective. I'll remember the 80 year old farmer who said that career "just didn't matter." He's right. Career for many is a means to an end. The more of us it consumes, the shorter of a life we have left. In many things, big stuff is not that big.

The retreat floats on optimism. With the right thoughts and actions, you can succeed. The presence of God ensures that you cannot truly fail. Whatever your past, your future explodes with possibility.

In all, I suppose it's the emptying of the mind from heavy thoughts, and the filling of that space with messages of peace, that remind us what life can be if we are surrounded by the right people.