Call Me Dave

"I sensed that what Dave was getting at was a bachelor's aversion to the endless responsibilities of raising a child, and I decided to feed his anxiety by playing into it. 'Well, Dave," I responded, 'hanging out with Sam or any two-year-old is basically one big suicide watch. Their mission is to find one new way after another of offing themselves - piss in an electric socked, lick a pit bull's nose, chase an ice cream truck into traffic - and your job as a parent is to step in before it happens." - Michael J. Fox