Creepy Lookalikes #4

Which is a muscle man... and which is a croissant?

Fortune On The Rise

"You are never so far down that you can't get back up again." - Anthony Hargrove, NFL player

Hargrove was speaking to a juvenile detention center in New Orleans, reflecting on the days he spent as a troubled youth in New York City.

In the last week I can think of a few slips of the tongue that I'd like to have back. Poor word choices tend to happen to those who talk too much. Sometimes all you can do is take your medicine and get moving again.

Who knows what challenges next week will bring? Something as grave as what Hargrove faced in his battered neighborhood? Or some misfortune of our own doing?

No matter what, success is inevitable - as long as we accept it, and move deliberately toward it.

If Not Happily Ever After, Then Just Happily

"My tendency is to want to try to solve problems... I have had to accept that some problems can't be solved. I just try to do my best to make bad situations a little better, to listen, and to be there for the long haul." - Deborah Lustig

Lustig is a court-appointed special advocate - an everyday citizen whom judges appoint to stand up for children that have been abused and neglected. In some cases, these children have never had a positive adult role model. Yet it takes more than just being there to make a difference. Fairy-tale endings aren't guaranteed, or even probable.

Lots of times our destiny isn't to solve people's problems, or to solve the problems they cause. It's to make the most of the situation, with a glint in our eye.

How To Add Years To Your Life

Courtesy of Yahoo! Health, these estimates of extra years added by various life choices:


1. Walk 30 minutes a day (add 2 yrs)
2. Move around in some fashion for 100 minutes a day (6 yrs)
3. Go to bed 15 minutes earlier (3 yrs). At least 7 hours per night!
4. Strength train (1 yr). Just 20 minutes, twice a week.
5. Floss daily (4 yrs). Tooth and heart health are linked!
6. Have more sex with your partner (8 yrs)
7. Don't text and drive (2 yrs) Worse than driving drunk!
8. Stop smoking (9 yrs)
9. Manage stress (4 yrs):

Of course you can’t control when an overloaded work schedule and family obligations might hit, but how you handle stress ultimately has the biggest impact on your health. “A highly stressed 50-year-old’s ‘real age’ could be as high as 82,” says Dr. Roizen. When you’re constantly tense, your blood pressure, heart rate and levels of the stress hormone cortisol are all raised, which increases your risk for heart disease, stroke, Alzheimer’s disease and more. Exercise can help a lot: Just 15 minutes of brisk walking increases your body’s production of feel-good chemicals, like endorphins. Other stress-busting tips:

Start your day with 15 minutes of belly breathing. This will help relax your mind and muscles and help you power through stress that crops up during the rest of your day, says Woodson Merrell, MD, chair of the department of Integrative Medicine at Beth Israel Medical Center. “The morning is actually when our bodies feel the most stressed, because it’s when we’re transitioning from inactivity to activity and producing the highest levels of cortisol,” he notes. Here’s what to do: Sit tall at the edge of your bed or in a chair. Breathe in for a count of four, pause a moment, then breathe out for a count of six. Think of a peaceful image, like sitting by the sea, or repeat a simple word like calm.

Meet a friend face-to-face. “Being involved with friends or in a community is as powerful as exercise in terms of preventing heart disease and dementia,” says Henry Lodge, MD, coauthor of Younger Next Year for Women. Pencil in some friend time at least three times a week, or every day if possible.

Chew gum. A British study of more than 2,000 workers found that people who regularly chewed gum had significantly less work-related and overall stress and depression than those who didn’t get this oral fix. Chewing gum may stimulate the vagus nerve, which helps your body relax and increases levels of serotonin, a brain chemical that makes us feel calmer and happier.

10. Eat healthy (14 yrs):

“Food has a very big impact on the genes that accelerate or slow down the aging process,” says Dr. Roizen. So exactly what does eating healthy mean?

Choose “good” fats. Snacks like nuts are better than ones that contain saturated fats, like butter and full-fat cheese. One study showed that eating nuts daily (any kind) lowers total cholesterol levels by more than 5% and LDL (“bad”) cholesterol by nearly 7.5%.

Eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables daily—and aim for variety. “When you eat many different fruits and vegetables, you get thousands of different disease-fighting nutrients,” says Dr. Katz. One study found that people who regularly eat a variety of veggies lowered their risk of lung cancer by 23%.

Eat fish twice a week. Research shows that the omega-3 fats found in fish like salmon are among the biggest health boosters, helping to fight heart disease, stroke, hypertension, depression, and even Alzheimer’s disease and osteoporosis, says Diane McKay, PhD, a researcher with the Jean Mayer USDA Human Nutrition Research Center on Aging at Tufts University. On the flip side, research involving more than a half-million people found that those who ate the most red or processed meat had a much higher risk of cardiovascular disease and dying from cancer than those who ate the least.

Go for fiber-rich whole grains. Spooning up a high-fiber breakfast cereal instead of a more refined, sugary one cuts your risk of heart disease and diabetes by nearly 30%.

Courageous: The Movie

Dena and I were scanning the list of movies for a matinee date & Olive Garden soup-n-salad afterward. The star-studded "Contagion" was off the marquee though.

"Huh, all of the theaters are showing the exact same movies," I said.

"Any look good?" Dena asked.

"No. Guess we'll just make it a meal."

Then something caught my eye.

"Oh, wait. Wehrenberg Galaxy theater has something called 'Courageous.'"

Dena lit up.

"That's the Alex Kendrick one!"

Now, you are either an Alex Kendrick film fan or not. If you've seen "Facing the Giants" or "Fireproof," you know these stories to be overtly Christian-themed. They come with a generous plot dose of men young and old falling short of the Biblical ideal head of the household at first, and eventually having life-changing realizations that transform their lives.

In this case, a group of police officers and a laborer comprise a friendship and a set of issues related to parenting. One dotes on his 9-year old daughter and ignores his high-school son. Another has a teen daughter who wants to date a boy a few years older (who unbeknown to dad, is a gang member wanna-be). One's divorced. One abandoned the girl who got pregnant back in college after she refused to have an abortion. The laborer can barely feed his family.

Like a tear-jerking symphony, the character played by Kendrick has an epiphany following a tragic loss in the family. He comes up with an idea to re-commit himself to parenthood, and asks his friends to hold him accountable. The impressed friends all decide to make the same commitment. Soon, energized by an uplifting musical score, each problem flows toward resolution.

Oh, and there are a bunch of cops chasing armed criminals too.

If mainstream Christianity or the sight of men weeping onscreen turns you off, then buy a ticket to Paranormal 3 and rock out. Otherwise, bring your spouse and kids to a nearby screen and settle in for a theater experience. You'll want to be around other audience members who are laughing and crying while you drink it all in. And afterward, who knows what type of stirring conversation might take place around the table at home?

Coping With Dad's Death, 10 Years Later

I start to write this note at almost the exact moment, ten years later, that Dad passed away.

Jack and I had been at the house visiting what we knew to be his final days, the noble end of an 18 month bout with cancer of the liver. By the grace of God we happened to come inside from raking leaves looking for Mom, to find her up at the side of her husband of 40 years. His consciousness had mostly left him days before, palliated by drugs of the hospice nurse. Still, as he worked through his final few breaths, I was compelled to take his hand and whisper "It's all right, Dad, it's all right," as he slipped away.

Even writing this here all these years later moistens my eyes. I would have loved for him to be here at 76 years young, sitting a few rows back in the stands at a NCHS game, watching his son helping young men grow as he did, and groaning involuntarily at missed layups.

I wonder how much his death may have affected me psychologically in subtle ways that I still fail to grasp. Perhaps not at all.

I have no great insight for anyone else coping with the loss of a loved one. It's individual and personal.

What I can say is that I do what I can to accept and depersonalize death. I have never felt angry with God, who's given both Dad and me so much life to enjoy, and bodies that last for only a speck along an infinite timeline. I don't mourn for myself, since I continually have new people in my life to teach me its precious lessons and bless me with great joy. I pray that my family is also at peace.

I'm thankful for all that I've had, and do have, and especially for what I will have. Today is not of lasting sadness or regret. It's another gift to be cherished abundantly, in a way a bit more special than most any other day of the year.

Funny Interview Questions

This year we've lost three employees from my unit, so I've got to prepare for interviews. Getting these approved by human resources should just be a formality.

1. Tell me a little about yourself. For example, how old are you?
2. What is the lowest salary that you're willing to work for?
3. If I did something illegal, would you report it to the authorities, or be a team player?
4. Give me an example of a good joke.
5. Alphabetically, what are your ten worst qualities?
6. Can I have your phone?
7. What would you say is least impressive about me physically?
8. Tell me why I should hire you, in exactly 17 words.
9. Does this hurt?
10. What are you willing to do to get this job, as long as I don't tell anyone else that you did it?

If Only He'd Asked More Questions On Career Day

Courtesy of comic Matt Wohlfarth:

I thought I wanted to become a fireman. But it turns out, I just like breaking windows with axes.

Six Secrets: How To Retire Early

From SmartMoney:

There are some people who want to work well into their 70s. Then, there are the rest of us. Those of us who can't wait to get rid of the boss lady, hit the golf course and just plain chill out for a few decades — maybe with a smattering of part-time or volunteer work and some new hobbies thrown in. If you're in this camp, a new study reveals how you can make it happen.

The Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies released a study showing what those who realistically plan to retire before age 65 are doing to reach their goals. "These aren't trust fund babies," says Catherine Collinson, president of the center. "These are everyday people with extraordinary habits."

Below are the defining success factors of these soon-to-be "early retirees." They are more likely than the average person to:

1. Save for retirement outside of just their workplace plan: 69% of early retirees do this vs. 60% of those who plan to retire after 65 and 49% of those who say they'll never retire.

2. Defer a high percentage of their salary into a retirement plan: Early retirees defer a median of 10% vs. 6% for those who plan to retire after 65 or don't plan to retire.

3. Start saving at a younger age: The median age early retirees begin saving is 25 vs. 30 for those who will retire after 65 and 31 for those who never plan to retire.

4. Have a thought-out retirement savings strategy: 71% of early retirees have either a written plan (16%) or a non-written plan (55%), while just over half of those who plan to retire after 65 do and just one-third of those who will never retire do.

5. Be very involved in managing and monitoring their retirement accounts: 71% of early retirees say they are very involved vs. 58% of those who will retire after 65 and just 45% of those who say they will never retire.

6. Have saved the same amount or more since the recession began: 71% of early retirees are doing this compared to 61% of those who will retire after 65 and just over half of those who never plan to retire.

Brad Stevens Breaks Down What Makes A Great Team

Hear the coach of the annually overachieving, mid-major conference basketball team Butler University discuss the characteristics of great teams.

Republican Presidential Polls - Mean Nothing Right Now?

Dena's got a fondness for Herman Cain among the gaggle of current Republican presidential candidates. Me too so far, being the be-nice-to-people guy that I am, and fan of simple tax plans. Check out these poll results. Pizza man's in first place!

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2012/president/us/republican_presidential_nomination-1452.html

How does that fare for his Oval Office chances? Let's see who was in first place at this time ahead of the 2008 election.

1st place: Giuliani (28%)

2nd place: Thompson (18%)

3rd place: McCain (14%)

And the final results?

1st place: McCain (57%)

Last place: Giuliani, Thompson (0%)

Hmmm.

So does this mean that early polls are chances for pace-setting rabbits to sprint out of the gate, until the greyhounds catch up?

Or does it mean that new trends are afoot?

7 Shocking Ways You're Wrecking Your Teeth

From Yahoo! Shine:


1. Swimming. 


Swimming -- a sport many agree is one of the best exercises you can do -- can hurt your teeth? Yep, you read that right.

Dr. Pankaj P. Singh, founder and CEO of Arch Dental Associates in New York City,.says that swimming in pool water that is excessively chlorinated can erode and stain tooth enamel. "Excessive chlorine lowers the pool's pH level, making it dangerously acidic," he says. So if you're a frequent swimmer, pack a toothbrush along with that towel of yours. "Brushing your teeth and using a fluoride rinse immediately after swimming will help," says the doctor. 

2. Snacking. 

When you eat a large amount of food in one sitting, like during a typical meal, your mouth produces a lot of saliva, which helps to wash away the food particles that decay your teeth, says Singh. When you snack on smaller meals you don't produce as much saliva, which means your teeth aren't getting naturally cleaned as well, says the doctor. 

In addition to that, most people snack on carbohydrate-rich foods. Chips, crackers, and other carb-laden foods are especially bad for our teeth, as "fermentable carbohydrates work with bacteria to begin the decay process and eventually destroy teeth," says Singh. "All carbohydrates eventually break down into simple sugars: glucose, fructose, maltose, and lactose," he says. "And when they do, they are converted by the bacteria in your mouth into plaque -- the primary trigger of gum disease and cavities." The snack food on Singh's don't-eat list that shocked us most? Bananas. Their "chewy, adhesive texture" makes it easier for them to get caught between teeth or under the gum line, where bacteria can accumulate.

3. Diet soda. 

Most of us assume that if our soda is sugar-free, it isn't hurting our teeth. The docs say this is a wrong assumption. It's actually the acids in these drinks, such as citric and phosphoric, that are damaging your enamel, says Singh. "Consuming these highly acidic drinks on a regular basis means your teeth are under continual acid attack, a process that can lead to tooth erosion." 

If you do give in and have a soda, Singh suggests sipping on water immediately after you indulge, which helps neutralize the acid. 

4. Birth control. 

While popping oral contraceptives might be a great way to keep you from an unwanted pregnancy, the Pill actually tricks your body into thinking it's pregnant -- which isn't good news for your teeth. 

During pregnancy, your hormones change a lot and because of this, many women suffer periodontal disease -- an infection that occurs when your immune response can't compensate for the amount of bacteria in your mouth, says Dr. Nicholas Toscano, a periodontist in New York City. 

If you must take the Pill, Toscano recommends you see the dentist every three months for cleaning, as opposed to the normal six-month interval.

5. Your toothbrush. 

"People think the harder the bristles, and the more aggressive they brush, the better," says Toscano. "But this just isn't the case. The dental care industry offers toothbrushes in soft, medium, and hard, and honestly, I don't know why they sell [hard toothbrushes]. It's got to be a way to just make more money," says Toscano.


So what's so wrong with a good, hard scrubbing? Hard toothbrush bristles and over-aggressive brushing cause gums to recede, exposing the root of the tooth and causing your teeth to look old, says Toscano. Singh agrees. "The plaque and bacteria that build up on your teeth can be more effectively removed with a softer, gentler scrub."

6. Whitening. 

While teeth whitening is generally safe, some people go overboard with it, becoming addicted to the power of bleaching, says dentist Bill Dorfman, DDM, one of the creators of Zoom whitening. Too much of a good thing is not always good, agrees Toscano. "There are many different whitening materials out there, and if they're used improperly or too often, it can result in damage of the gums and teeth." 

It's also important to be wary of teeth whitening pop-up shops in your local mall, says Toscano. "These places don't exactly know what they are doing and patients don't know what they are getting themselves into," he says. You can end up walking out with burned lips or gums when a shop like this isn't managed by a licensed professional, warns the doc.

7. Diet pills.

Your quest for a thinner waistline may be negatively affecting your teeth, says Singh. "Certain diet pills may contain chemicals that can cause a decreased salivary flow, which results in a higher risk of tooth decay and oral problems," he warns. Remember, the saliva in your mouth not only naturally washes away food particles that cause decay, but it also helps neutralize acid levels, which if too high can "thin the enamel, making the teeth appear darker, not to mention more brittle and prone to chipping and cracking," says Singh. So before you start popping pills to lose weight, make sure to consider how it might affect your smile. 

Cubs Sign Theo Epstein As General Manager

“The best way I can describe it is there are parallel fronts—the job of building the scouting and player development foundation that is going to serve well for the long haul and treating every opportunity to win as sacred.” - Theo Epstein, recently named general manager of the Chicago Cubs


This was Epstein's way of saying that he doesn't use the term "rebuilding" to explain a team that seems distant from championship caliber. Success comes from good habits. By considering the long haul and the present, he discards excuses and holds himself accountable to a high standard.


In terms of a first step, this is a good one.

An Honest Day's Pay For An Honest Hour's Work

Courtesy of Steve Bennett, Julian, California:

After a long day at the office, I couldn't wait to get home.

"Once I leave here, I never think about work," I told a colleague. "Have you ever felt that way?"

"No," he said. "It doesn't take me that long."

Tale Of The Noblest Knight, Chapter 4

With his progress having slowed beneath a snail's retreat, prince Joseph sat with re-mustered courage thoughtfully upon his Saturn steed.

"The queen mother's heart should be moved to great despair, were it to be revealed to her the thickets of humanity that weigh upon a task so meek. To put beside my signature a Medallion seal, a mere affirmation of my rightful stature as her son, so as to add brother John to our father's inheritance. Yet no castle within an eagle's flight presents itself worthy of the service to this tortured soul. Some too small, the rest such as the castles of PNC Bank be possessed with the greediest manner of evil itself."

He returned to the magic mirror.

"O mirror who sees beyond the eyes, I entreat thee. Reveal unto me a knight of kindness so deep that it be worth crossing the most treacherous wastelands and mountains under heaven to find him."

"Your wish is known, dutiful son," replied the mirror in its gentle way. "The wisdom that Providence has bequeathed upon your mother measures truly to all who behold it."

At once, a vision struck the prince as brilliantly as purest diamonds.

"Ye gods, the castles of Harris Bank!" Joseph rejoiced. "For as surely as they graced my queen with warm regard, so too ought they to receive her son. Pray tell, how many days' journey is the nearest castle? Find it within you to map my quest, O mirror?"

"'Tis easily traveled by the strength of love," reveled the mirror. "Move swiftly now, and the seal shall be yours before shadows grow long. You shall find your knight at the castle Channahon."

Prince Joseph and his Saturn made off with speed that none could compare, tightly clutching the scroll and sacks of treasure. Even the winds sensed the triumph at hand, regaling their path with haste.

And behold, the castle Harris Bank of Channahon lay before them, a pearly gate against the beckoning sky of such glory that no angel could improve.

'Twas no mere maiden, but the castle's princess Patti herself that greeted the weary yet indefatigable prince at the gateway.

"Fate smiles upon us to have you in our midst!" she exclaimed.

"My princess, I am a man of the world," the prince said with humble genuflection and a kiss of her hand. "My travels have taught me well that I must make account with those who would serve me with a Medallion seal."

"No greater honor could grace me. Would you be so kind as to rest your legs in the comfort of this seat, while I tailor an account more completely to your needs than even you might have ever known to ask?"

She proceeded so enchantingly, with words so sweet, that time and the sun itself stood still. As if from a cloud came a tall and handsome man with sparkling eyes and hair of brilliant silver.

"Hi, are you Joseph? I'm Mark Thelo," said the hallowed knight.

"Are you the knight who may fulfill the great honor of my mother the queen's request? To affix the Medallion seal upon my signature and save the good name of my father's inheritance?"

He returned his gaze with unwavering resolve. "Yes, I'm the manager here. Let's go back to my office and have a look!"

Prince Joseph revealed all that had transpired, from the wistfulness of First State Bank of Bloomington, through the devilish knight Todd of PNC Bank on College, and all who had come between.

"Sounds like you've been through the wringer all right," decreed the knight with sympathy unmatched by mere mortals.

"O knight Mark, as proof of my loyalty, I am prepared to wait as long as you require for my account to settle here, so that many seasons from now I may return and be worthy of the seal you hold."

"Oh, that's all right," Mark said. "I can tell by talking with you that you're sincere, and I'll trust that. You've set up an account, we can go ahead and get the signature guaranteed today."

At this prince Joseph's heart leaped so, that the breath nearly left his body and his hands trembled with resounding joy.

"You are truly the manner of man to which even the saints aspire," the prince said with reverence. "The noblest knight, the spirit of kings, a servant more worthy than any master."

"Thanks, glad we could help. Have a nice day!"

And so it was that King John's royal inheritance was rightly bestowed. The treasure lay preserved by the guardians of T. Rowe Price, in the joint ownership of the queen and her beloved princes Joseph and John. The castles of Harris Bank proved their worthiness of highest honor the royal court could provide. A week later, the castles PNC Bank lost an account as quickly as it had been opened. And all the noble people lived happily ever after.

Tale Of The Noblest Knight, Chapter 3

Prince Joseph mounted Saturn and rode with haste to the magic mirror of the Commonwealth, where he summoned the spirit of the guardians of T. Rowe Price.

"Good day, my master and prince!" bade the guardian known as Nathan. "Is is possible by any means beneath the stars that I may be of service to you this day, in any of a thousand ways?"

The prince was taken aback cheerily by such a passionate refrain of servitude, having recently jousted with the demonic knight Todd of the castle PNC Bank on College in an attempt to satisfy the quest of his mother the queen.

"That you may, sir Nathan," explained the prince. "I am in possession of one of your customary scrolls inscribed with 'Change Account Owner' upon its head, and am making attempt to have my signature inscribed with the Medallion seal as demanded by the guardians. The task is of such smallness that a child should have more difficulty pointing out the sun than this. Yet the dark knight of the castle which must affix the seal has denied the possibility due to the great expanse capable of holding three signatures, rather than just mine own."

"Such tragedy! Pray tell, has this tale of woe been wrought by the castle of PNC Bank?"

"You read the stars well, my friend. By no less a creature than the knight Todd himself," Joseph spat.

"Well, be strong in this, valiant knight. For the guardians of T. Rowe Price are protective yet familiar with the whimsies of life. You may without consequence simply cover the remaining space with inky blackness from your pen."

"Ye gods, 'tis exactly what I said! Except that my tongue uttered 'quill' rather than 'pen.'"

"I see no quarrel there. Seems quite a trivial difference, really."

"Agreed! The knights of PNC Bank and their Book of Decrees must succumb to such truth. O fair Nathan, you have the heart worthy of your guardianship. The royal family shall esteem your name and retain the deepest loyalty of our accounts with T. Rowe Price."

"Fare thee well, prince Joseph," said Nathan.

As he parted with the magic mirror, the prince and his Saturn sped more rapidly than any western gale. Yet Wisdom conferred upon him to return not to the castle of PNC Bank on College, but rather to pay visit to the castle of PNC Bank on Empire. This castle was no less sinister than those of any other under its lordship, yet these knights would be without memory of the battles fought thus far, availing an advantage in knowledge to the courageous prince.

The baleful knave at the castle entrance sat behind a thick pane of glass which neither sword nor lance could likely pierce. Such defense gave every impression that brigands had stormed the castle in ages past, and thieved its treasure with force. As the sullen notes of nearby minstrels flowed softly through this area as Joseph awaited the knight, he envisioned such a raid being led by Todd against his very own unfortunate knights, a curse against his own castle. Then he quickly perished the thought, as such images surely carried nothing finer than the disease of melancholy.

At last the knight Jerry appeared from the mist, bearing a most peculiarly bright manner considering his employ.

Making no mention of his prior encounters, the prince explained his simple quest to add prince John as joint owner to the family inheritance by means of Joseph's signature and the Medallion seal. The innocence with which he carried himself mesmerized Jerry to a spirit of gleeful helpfulness. The spell of the lordship could not be entirely swept away, tho.

"Your tale bears truth," said Jerry, "your scroll has space for but a single signature, and you have account with us."

"It is well to hear agreement on such matters," said the prince with a broad smile.

"I need only to consult our Book of Decrees, since I am rarely called upon to affix, and take care to do right by the ways of our lord in every respect."

The prince reclined easily in his seat as Jerry consulted the Book, trading tales of family and mirth.

At once, Jerry's face grew stoic, as he looked up to meet Joseph's gaze.

"I'm afraid that there are bad tidings to share," he began. "The Book of Decrees of PNC Bank demands your account."

The prince nodded.

"It also requires the presence of all persons involved with the transaction, and further, that each also have account with PNC Bank."

No words could be formed from Joseph's lips which properly conveyed his sentiment, yet held the civility of a sane man.

"And so, the decree of this bank, this national bank, is that in order to merely add a name to to account, I must summon my ailing mother from across the plains, and my brother from the most distant edges of the hinterlands of California to bear witness to this act of a few blinks? And as well, to expend coin in deposit with you? This is the wisdom of your lord to satisfy the villagers which you serve?"

Genuine sorrow was Jerry's clouded countenance.

Joseph suppressed the instincts of rampant destruction.

"Good day to you, dear knight," he wished, and strode with regal dignity from the castle.

So it was that the prince was defeated, but not an inch disheartened. "On my mother's honor," he declared, "her quest shall yet prevail this day!"

Math Text

Math Tutor: How did your midterm go?

Student: I was just about to text you! I think it went really well! Thank you so much for the extra time last night (:

The student had contacted the tutor a week before her midterm exam, on referral from a counselor.

Tutor and student spent more than an hour together that first evening at the library, reviewing the quiz, notes and book chapters. It passed quickly. The test was three days away.

The teacher was going to be handing out a midterm review packet in the next day or so, so the tutor gladly volunteered to have a second meeting the night before the test.

On that second night the student came straight from work. Despite having nothing to eat since lunch, the student soldiered on through eleven pages of problems (to be graded). At 8:30 they bid farewell. And the following day was a joyful one.

The tutor reflected on the great sense of satisfaction in the adventure.

He wouldn't say that he likes to brush his teeth, but he likes the benefits enough to continue on.

He wouldn't say that he likes to exercise, but he likes the benefits more than enough to continue on.

He wouldn't say that he likes his day job, but he likes the benefits more than enough to continue on.

He likes to teach, to coach, to create. And once he has enough benefits, the adventure will reach new heights.

Tale Of The Noblest Knight, Chapter 2

Prince Joseph weighed his mind upon the castle of PNC Bank on College Avenue before him, atop this gnarled hill which towered even above the forest surrounding it. The satchel upon his shoulder bore the scroll requiring affixation of the mighty Medallion seal in order to effect the desires of his mother the queen, to add prince John as rightful joint owner of the royal fortune guarded by T. Rowe Price from lands far away.

The legend attached to the court of PNC Bank was of great notoriety. It indeed held great power and wealth, rooted in ages of once proud and judicious prosperity, with castles all across mother Earth. It had afforded a Medallion seal unmatched in ability by any other castle in the village, the only one with sufficient might to satisfy a task of such great inheritance as the five hundred chests of gold bullion prince Joseph's father the king had left to his queen and his heirs. Still, the castles of PNC Bank were ruled by a lord from behind some of the tallest walls on Earth, and the people regarded that the abundant strength over the course of generations had come to gradually harden its heart, as evidenced by the dismal wilderness of brambles, shadows and wolves in which he presently stood.

Prince Joseph was nonetheless emboldened. Befitting the talents bestowed upon him by the lineage of his parents, he served the Commonwealth of Vernon Krossing Condominiums as its treasurer, and had engaged in plentiful encounters with the maidens who joyfully received deposits to its account there. To secure the Medallion seal beneath his signature, tho, would require more bravery, and dealings with the knight within, Todd.

"I come with but a simple request," began the prince. "My mother the queen has set upon her heart a vision of joint ownership of the family fortune with my brother. The guardians of T. Rowe Price demand a Medallion seal to certify the truthfulness of my signature for all who see it, in the interest that thieves may not steal off with the riches through plots of deceit. Will you help me?"

Todd regarded the scroll laid before him with the sharpened eyebrow of reluctance, as if dealing with black magic and pondering a means to slay the sorcerer before him. When he spoke, it was with the loftiness of one descended from angels, or perhaps griffins.

"I see here blank swaths of parchment with room for three signatures. Yet I see only one of you," he said with eyes twinkling like ice. "Might your queen and her other prince be shrouded in my presence with cloaks of invisibility?"

"By no means dear Todd," replied prince Joseph. "The guardians of T. Rowe Price require but a single signature in this vast space, that of my own. Likewise the queen's Harris Bank of Bloomingdale has affixed its seal properly in that fashion, and I humbly entreat you to do the same."

A grin of bedeviled satisfaction spread across Todd's countenance. "Dear, dear, dear prince," he deigned. "These are darkened times in which we live. The threat of those who would tarry off with the rightful riches of innocent villagers has put upon us all a rule of security. Surely you understand the perils that would befall PNC Bank if we were to affix the Medallion seal upon your name, and later you were to inscribe the signatures of those less worthy in the remaining space?"

"Yes, rightly so, I understand the necessity of law to protect our brethren and your own good name," the prince retorted, "But suppose that I were to obscure the space which remains with an expanse of inky blackness from my quill in your presence? Would not that defeat the evil that threatens our mutual quest?"

Todd retreated, his eyes slits of partial vanquishment. "Perhaps," he said with a voice worthy of a snake's enchantment. "Tho I should consult the Book of Decrees from the lord of the castles of PNC Bank for such a case."

A moment of gray inspiration crossed his face. "You do, of course, have account with us here?"

"'Tis true enough. It pleases me to share you with you any manner of tales from my encounters as treasurer of the Commonwealth with your fair maidens."

The wicked grin returned, and tones thick with the cunning of the netherworld.

"Oh sir, this simply cannot do," said Todd. "The quest is ended here, and must fail, since you bear no account with us of your own person. The Book requires it so."

Prince Joseph steeled himself. "Then I shall return, with shillings in hand, open account with you, and succeed."

"We shall see," Todd sneered.

Prince Joseph rode Saturn home with determined spirit, filling several bags plentifully with farthings and shillings, silver and gold. Frankincense and myrrh. And before the sun had moved with much import across the sky, he returned to the castle holding the treasure aloft before a merry maiden at the gate.

"I am here to form account with you," said the prince, "and come bearing more than enough to prove my honorable intent."

"The pleasure is ours, my liege," said the maiden, snatching the bags instantly and tossing them into the abyss of reserve. "We are a full service bank, ready to meet your every need. Perhaps you would like counsel with Patrick, our oracle of financial planning?"

"Your words are valiant, if they are true, my lady," declared the prince. "But my quest is clear and simple, with no need of such wizardry. I request audience with your knight Todd, keeper of the Medallion seal."

Todd emerged from the shadows. "So you have returned," he said.

"On my honor, I have done just that," replied Joseph.

"And you have, of course, secured from T. Rowe Price a scroll which contains space for but a single signature?"

"Fair sir, most certainly not! Your Book had established no such demand, in your words."

"Words not upon my lips, yet appearing in the Book, are words nonetheless, are they not?" said Todd with bleak mirth, his head cocked with satisfaction to a side, his gaze fixed upon the helplessness of the prince triumphantly. Then, in a moment, he vanished.

The empty chamber cast no pall upon the prince's resolve, as he whirled to leave. "I shall not fail," he said, "There is a path, and by heaven I shall find it."

Tender Mercies

"I could say 'Why me?', but I'd never know why she was chosen for this. And so I decided to be strong and happy for all the little tender mercies." - Reagan Breinholt

The Breinholts were blessed with their first child, a daughter Piper. She was born with a genetic disorder which has afflicted about 80 reported cases worldwide. She was born with only 13 ribs rather than 24; a severely underdeveloped jaw; could barely breathe under her own power. In her short life she has rarely felt the sun upon her face.

Still, Reagan and Jake celebrate every sign of life from Piper . She kicks off a sock. Smiles as she feels a pebble rolled against her palm. Someday, might enjoy the sensations of sitting on grass.

For now, they count what they have - not what they don't. And they know they've made a difference.

"She's still very sick, but I wonder if she would've grown so much if we hadn't gone crazy over the little things. It's a chain reaction."

What chain reaction can we start today in our own small world? What tender mercies - as simple as a smile or a listening ear - can we bestow?

Tale Of The Noblest Knight, Chapter 1

Once upon a time young prince Joseph of Lincolnland pursued to preserve the good fortune of his mother the queen of the Bloomingdale. Time had smiled kindly upon the fate of the royal family since Father Time had called home the good king a decade past. The scrolls upon which bequeathed the king's merry treasure to the prince and queen made well for the pleasantry of the kingdom and all who graced it.

By and by the queen saw fit to bestow the honored inheritance most fairly between herself, her Joseph, and prince John the younger, off on crusade in the hinterlands.

And so set about she, having procured a fresh set of scrolls from the guardians of the fortune known as T. Rowe Price, to put her name to the parchment in such fashion as to proclaim prince John a rightful joint owner of the riches. T. Rowe Price lay beyond the kingdom and even its vast enveloping forest, yet its law governing scrolls was powerful indeed. Such a trove of wealth demanded a special seal upon the scroll, well beneath the inscription "Add New Account Owner" and the store of personal information, the great Medallion Signature Guarantee at the bottom.

Such a seal could be placed only by those duly knighted with the Stamp of Medallion, having paid a most kingly sum, and swearing their lives and honor upon the sacred duty to provide stamp only to those of truthfulness and worth.

And so did the queen pay regal visit to the castle of Harris Bank in the village of Bloomingdale one fine autumn day. The kindly knight within received Her Majesty warmly. "Do come, O welcome Your Highness!" he said with great delight. "For many years you have kept a share of the royal treasure on account with us here."

"Thank you, most handsome sir knight," said the queen, "but is it quite all right that my sons are not here with me, though the scroll contains room for three signatures?"

"Why madam, we would not think of such madness!" the knight retorted with a chortle. "You may do as you please. It is my great pleasure to affix the seal upon your immaculate name." And with that, the queen ambled fancifully to her coach, the task swiftly seen to conclusion.

With the dawn she presently sent her trusted messenger across the barren plains of yawning maize a hundred miles yonder, and reached prince Joseph.

"Why mother," he remarked heartily to himself. "This simple deed is so light upon me that no feather could fail to tip the scale in its own direction. I shall find it satisfied by midday!"

The prince mounted his trusty steed. "On Saturn, to the castle of First State Bank of Bloomington!" he entreated. Before nary a leaf could find its flutter to the forest floor he was upon their court.

"Cheerio, good knight!" he bade.

"Did you just bid me good night at this daylight hour?" started the confused knight most quizzically.

"The fault is mine, dear sir," prince Joseph remarked. "I do mean to ask if you would rather be so kind as to affix your Medallion seal as witness to my worth and truthfulness as the son of the queen after I inscribe my name upon this scroll?"

"Most certainly, my prince!" said the knight. "You have been on account with us through the ages, and we shall gladly serve you. How great is the fortune at hand, if I may humbly inquire?"

"Indeed you may!" Joseph exulted. "The legacy of my father numbers five hundred chests of gold bullion, borne of the fruits of many a labor from generations past, acquired by the gentle hand of Providence."

At this, the knight drew his eyes to the ground.

"My lord, I fear I bear unpleasant news. For you see, ours is but a small castle, able to proffer only a portion of the sum required to possess the great Medallion, and bear only a whisper of the duty it requires. We may only serve those treasures of less than one hundred chests of gold bullion."

Prince Joseph bore the travail without malice. "Fare thee well, then, dear friend. For though your bounds are small, your honor is deep with me, and I shall retain my account with you despite this obstacle."

He and his Saturn found himself upon the company of his princess Dena, herself an artist in the castle of First Farmers State Bank of Bloomington.

"My sweet, you are as beautiful as the stars are vast," he began. "Pray tell, might your castle and its splendid knights be so graced as to possess the power to affix the Medallion upon a scroll of fortune such as mine?"

Her amber lashes flitted smartly, with kindness softer than the whitest cloud. "My love, no word could cross my lips more gaily than to tell you so," she smiled. "In truth, the knights have yeomen's strength but alas, the castle of meekest size."

His eyes were wide with wonder, both at the perfection of her porcelain skin and the utter uselessness of the castle to his quest. "May they not even affix the seal in protection of one hundred chests of gold bullion?" he cried.

"It is indeed so," Dena said. "Not even a farthing."

"And what of your twenty knights of the castles of the hamlet Kiwanis with which you are acquainted?" he continued aloud. "Might at least one of them possess such worth and grandeur as to afford me this service?"

"Sadly 'tis but a dream, for I have taken their counsel, and they have returned the same, and zilch is its sorry name."

With this he leaned gently forth, with furrowed brow but enchanted heart, to place upon her forehead a token of his unending devotion, and ride off with melancholy to the depths of the darkening wood.

Presently he arrived at the foot of the craggy hill, staring up through the shadows of the thorn-bristled brush thick around the castle of PNC bank, surrounded by the howls of a thousand unseen wolves.

Freidinger Family Fall Festival Features Food, Fire, Fish, Frolicking, Furniture

GOODFIELD, IL - A trunk built 150 years ago was restored and unveiled as the centerpiece of a bundle of fall activities at the Freidinger family acres Sunday afternoon.

The festivities began with a feast of consumption from tables...

... by fire...

... and plucked straight from the water.

Those who weren't snacking were smacking...




...and eventually the crowd gathered inside to lay eyes on the same chest once toted by hands during Civil War days.



Some things are meant to stand the test of time!

Old Glory, What A Summer!

Saturday was one of the last days of true summer weather we'll see in these parts this year. This week's filled with thick clouds, drizzly skies, and temps peaking around 60. Frost is just around the corner.

I snapped this photo one morning recently when it was still warm enough to wear shorts. Seeing the American flag on display as I walk to the car to start the day is a touching reminder of how good things are. Have I taken the time to appreciate that?

Sometimes, or often, we spend winters pining for fairer climates while yanking the hood tightly around our face to prevent the wind from whipping us a new shade of ruddy. Now that a very favorable season of weather is winding down...

... did I open the windows as often as we could?

... did I take a long walk through leafy trees?

... did I play outside a bit?

... did I simply sit once in a while, feeling the breezes, breathing the fresh air, listening to nature?

... did I give thanks for the freedom and circumstance to do all these things?

Yes!

Someday we'll ask these types of questions when life enters its final season. So many opportunities for happiness lie ahead. How well will we cherish them, relish them, savor them as they arrive?

How To Live To 100 Years Old

Research on centenarians suggests that you live longer if you...

1. Have good genes, like a parent or sibling who lived beyond 90+. Tough read there. Dad and granddads lived less than 70 years. Mom's 70, grandma lived to 90. Got a shot!

2. Can walk faster than 3 miles an hour (for those over 65). I'll have to wait a couple decades to test it out, but will continue my training! These days my exercise routine is a 3 mile run at 7 mph, six days a week.

3. Are connected with other people through family or organizations. With Dena in Kiwanis and me volunteering with Normal Community High School, it looks like good tonic!

4. Are female. Shoot. They do note that the male-female gap is closing as females enter the work force and otherwise have more traditionally male roles. Maybe it's time to sharpen my cooking skills to get an edge.

5. Had a child after age 35 (for women). Analysts suggest it's because birth after that age indicates a slowly aging reproductive system, and in turn bodes well for all the other systems.

6. Are young. Baby boys born today have a 1 in 4 chance of living to 100; for 50 year olds, it's 1 in 10.

7. Worry, but not too much. Moderate worriers take fewer risks and plan alternatives. Pessimists, woe-is-me types and I-suck types die sooner.

8. Are normal weight. A study of several 95 to 112 year olds found their health habits to be comparable to those who died younger, but had a noticeably lower rate of obesity. Keep that BMI below 25 in order to see more tomorrows!

9. Have long telemeres. Beats me. Something to do with DNA strands.

10. Are a positive person. Are your emotions more positive than negative? Do you read Hidden Blog on a regular basis? You're on your way to keep the pearly gates at bay!

AWOL Employee Lured Out Of Hiding By Food

Mysteriously absent employee John Diedrich was snared by a promise of dinner at C.J.'s restaurant in Bloomington on Friday evening.

Diedrich, last seen in the office about a month ago, had spent time elusively in Las Vegas and Dallas according to confidential sources.

His time on the run came to a close thanks to his wife Rosann of 16 years; a handsome collection of in-laws and mini-in-laws; neighbor-folk; and a celebrity couple the Diedrichs introduced on a blind date last century.

"I knew something was up," he said to a generally dubious crowd of well-wishers who sang a full-throated chorus of "Happy Birthday" and dangled necklaces with "4" and "0" on it as he entered the room.

Despite decades as a Cubs fan, Diedrich's medical staff has pronounced him in remarkably good health,  and is predicted to enjoy a similar celebration in about ten years.

Four Ways To Say "No"

From Reader's Digest:

1. "No, but thank you for asking."

2. "I'd love to, but I simply can't make a commitment. Is there some other way I could help out?"

3. "I'm not able to take that on right now."

 4. "No, but I bet so-and-so can help you."

Ways To Work Faster On Your Computer

From Reader's Digest:

1. Mac users, go to macpaw.com and click Free Download. It'll remove bloatware - items associated with software you've uninstalled.

2. Mac users, go to the pull-down menu under Safari on the left-hand side and click Empty Cache to eliminate more clutter.

3. Chop digital photos down to size with makeathumbnail.com.

Juvenile Flash Mob Captured After Frenzied Chase Through Park

NORMAL, IL (AP) - Parkside Elementary School's annual fall picnic was disrupted in dramatic fashion when a flash mob of teenagers streaked through it, then led authorities on a chaotic chase through the woods before being subdued. The curious scene began to unfold with clusters of like-colored, randomly numbered boys forming gymnastic circles on the fairgrounds.

Suddenly at 10:30 dozens of packs burst into choreographed streaks, stirring a panic among the confused citizens who in turn dashed for the cover of distant tents.

 

Authorities responded quickly to the flood of 911 calls from terrified parents, dispelling the plot with police whistles and gunfire. With near military precision, the juveniles massed as a unit and sprinted for the cover of nearby woods. Officers gave chase but soon fell behind or became winded. "I've never seen criminals so young be so well organized," gasped Lt. Chuck Upmuch while leaning against a tree, "or so well conditioned."



Only with the help of FBI files and facial recognition software was the organization's leader identified. Lane Young, the notorious leader of thousands, mastermind of civic unrest and generally nice guy, blended in stealthily with his minions except for brief glimpses.

 

Within 11 minutes and 45 seconds Young was apprehended, and delivered to a maximum security detention center. Despite the fearsome guards, he continued to show the calm of a person in charge.

 

 Notorious mob family strongman Tyler Heffren protected Young as he conferred with their attorney.

The lawyer strongly agitated that an insanity plea would be Young's best chance for freedom after such a gruesome plot. "Hey, that's not honest!" Heffren interjected.

"You're right buddy," Young concurred. "We play the right way. I'm doing the time."

As Young slipped into his straightjacket, the citizens finally began to re-emerge from the safety of their tents.

He took one last moment to comfort the family patriarchs. "The dream lies with you," he said. "Be strong in it. When I return, we'll be more powerful than ever."

As the armored transport rolled away, the rest were left to ponder a grim future.

The mob issued a statement that their mission will continue, and escalate. Rumors persist that the organization's leadership is already in transition to equally cunning wings of the family.

Just Your Sub-Average Guy

Saw these figures quoted as describing the "average guy." I've placed them alongside the dimensions of a local sub-average guy.

Attribute                       Average Guy               Sub-Average Guy

Height                          5'9"                              5'10"

Weight                         175 lb                           155 lb

Body Fat                      15%                              10%

Upper Arm (flexed)     14.5"                             13"

The sub-average guy needs to find a way to add 20 pounds, half of it fat, and 1.5 inches of it on each arm.

Aren't pizzas like half-fat? He can just buy one for each meal, put it at the top of the stairs, and push himself up to the top using only his arms. And if his vertebrae compress by an inch in the process, so much the better.

Four Secrets Of Optimism

From Yahoo! Shine:


Not only is life hard, it can unexpectedly become harder. One day we might be comfortably cruising along, and then suddenly it seems like everything is going wrong: Your marriage is in a shambles, or you’ve just discovered that you’re not as financially stable as you thought, or you suddenly lose a lover, friend, or family member. The world has changed. Everything seems ominous and uncertain.

That’s when you can fall into the trap of pessimism and negativity. It may seem like the natural thing to do given what you’re going through. How can we work on building a healthy and optimistic way of living when we’re overcome with pain, anxiety, and fear? But no matter how hard things become, there are ways to approach your situation that can make it less burdensome.

Here are four ways to stay positive when life gets you down:

Express Gratitude.  Be mindful about what you do have, whether it’s a fantastic friend or a wonderful partner. Try making a list of things you’re grateful for every night for two weeks. It can be even more powerful to express gratitude to someone who you feel truly thankful for. Write them a letter telling them how they have helped you. Additionally, try to cultivate a sense of gratitude in everyday life for things both major and minor. Thank that stranger who goes a little out of his way to hold the door open for you. Appreciating the good in the world can change the way you look at life.

Volunteer. Take your awareness outside of yourself and focus it on the wellbeing of others. This may not be possible if you’re in crisis mode, but it can be very helpful if you’re increasingly preoccupied by your own negative thoughts. Many studies have shown that community service and philanthropy are more satisfying over the long term than focusing on your problems. Try volunteering at your local library, homeless shelter or hospital.  You can become less focused on the bad stuff you’ve been dealing with—and even form a connection with others in the process.  

Notice the Good. It might seem nearly impossible to find the silver lining in a burdensome situation, but it can be helpful.  Maybe you’ve gone through some personal growth and change because of what’s happened, or you’ve become closer to someone.

Change Negative Self-Talk. It’s way too easy to think the same negative thoughts over and over again. However, you can learn to change this by doing some cognitive-behavioral therapy on yourself. When you notice yourself having a negative thought about yourself, replace it with a positive one. If you find yourself  thinking “It’s all my fault” or “I’m not good enough,” stop and remind yourself of how well you’ve been coping and how others appreciate you.

The bottom line on becoming and remaining optimistic: We can’t change what happens to us or to loved ones, but we can change how we react to it. And though that process may take some time, it’s worth it because of the joy and peace of mind optimism can bring. 

Redneck's Proverb

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day." - Anonymous, courtesy of Dona

Moneyball

Moneyball's doing just fine without another review, but here you go...

I went with a softball playing friend of mine, and our wives. I knew I'd like the movie, since I'd read the book and also follow baseball enough to remember several of the big names and scenes. Plus, being an analytical person, I'm captivated by the foundation of Billy Beane's (Brad Pitt's) statistics-based success.

As the film ended, I wondered whether or not the ladies of the group had enjoyed it. The verdict was two thumbs up! That's because it's more of a story about Beane's personal story than the game he happens to be employed by. It's a story of standing up against establishment thinking. It's a story about a man and his daughter. And, of course, it's a movie with Brad Pitt.

All the adult members your family who can at least mildly tolerate sports will enjoy this one. It's got a generous dashes of humor all throughout. Warm feelings everywhere at the end.

Herman Cain's 9-9-9 Plan Example

Let's try to look at it simply, here.

Presidential candidate Herman Cain has found a recent groundswell of support with the idea of scrapping the current tax code and replacing it with a 9% income tax on individuals like you and me, 9% on corporations like your grocery store, and 9% on sales.

Let's say that your family makes $50,000 and spends $45,000 in a year. To keep it simple, let's pretend that you spend all $45,000 at the grocery store.

Today

Your income puts you in the 15% tax bracket. Let's call that a personal income tax bill of $7,500. Again, that simplifies things - in reality the first few thousand dollars of income are taxed at just 10% so your tax is a little less. Oh, and you get some deductions and exemptions, but let's ignore that.

Meanwhile, your grocery store is taxed at a corporate rate of 35%. Their tax is passed along to you in price at the counter. Let's pretend that the $45,000 spent at the store includes you paying its $1,000  corporate income tax. For those checking my math, that's much lower than 35% of $45,000, because the store gets to take all kinds of deductions for business expenses and such.

Finally, there is no national sales tax today.

Your total tax: $7,500 + $1,000 = $8,500.

Tomorrow

Your rate is 9%, not 15%, so your personal income tax is $4,500, or 9/15 of the old tax of $7,500.

The grocery store drops to 9% from 35%, so you pay $257 of corporate income tax rather than $1,000.

However, the store now has to pass another cost on to you - the 9% national sales tax on the goods it purchased. Plus, you also have to pay a 9% national sales tax yourself when you buy the goods from the store. So let's call that 18% in total, on about $45,000 worth of goods, or $8,100 of national sales tax.

Your total tax: $4,500 + $257 + $8,100 = $12,857.


Way-Too-Simple Summary

Your personal rate dropped from 15% to 9%, while your sales tax rose from 0% to 18%. Therefore, your total tax rose. The corporate income tax you pay was affected, but to relatively minor effect.

Fast Forward, ASAP

"Believe me, it doesn't outweigh the stuff to look forward to, not even close." - Ray Towler, freed after 29 years of wrongful imprisonment

We heard about Ray earlier in the week, but today was a good day for a fresh cup of his upbeat attitude.

Why is it that even a fairly routine work day sometimes makes a body more listless than usual? A nap feels more valuable than dinner. Thoughts drift off the road and linger in the ruts there.

Was it something about the way we slept, or ate, or sat? The fact that the first low-hanging autumn cloud cover has dulled the skies?

Ray might say, "Who cares?" Get busy chasing your future. Countless little wins are out there waiting to be gotten... pick one and dwell on it. Maybe find a quiet place or grab a bite first to boost your energy, with the excitement of the "stuff to look forward to" leading the way. It could be as simple as a good breakfast in the morning, or a favorite TV program tonight. We are blessed!

The Help

Dena and I saw "The Help" at the theater while out in Nashville.

It's the story of the heart of the 1960's civil rights movement, when African-American women were employed for pocket change as maids in wealthy Jackson, Mississippi homes. As their bigoted employers debated whether to build separate outhouses to keep their maids' "diseases" at bay and took various other steps to demote them to second class status - or worse, they pull together to assist a young, lonely daughter of privilege to write an expose' of the Jim Crow South.

Plenty of triumphant courage themes running through this one. In the end, the bad guys (more like bad gals) get their comeuppance.

If it's too late to see in the theaters, it'd be a good date night rental on a slow Saturday night.

Bowling Could Still Be A Good Option, Though

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you." - Anonymous, courtesy of Dona

Copy Thy Neighbor

"Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted." - Anonymous, courtesy of Dona

Do Not Call List

One of my favorite hallmarks of the younger Bush presidency. Time to re-up if you haven't. Make your day! Thanks to Tracy for passing this along.


REMEMBER: Cell Phone Numbers Go Public this month. REMINDER..... all cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sales calls.

.... YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS

To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 888-382-1222.
It is the National DO NOT CALL list It will only take a minute of your time.. It blocks your number for five (5) years. You must call from the cell phone number you want to have blocked. You cannot call from a different phone number.

HELP OTHERS BY PASSING THIS ON .. It takes about 20 seconds. 

A Portal For A Storm

Our old storm door had reached the point where it no longer closed due to an excessively weak latch. Even for non-handy types, this is pretty much past the point of no return. We put in a call to Affordable Builders (contact Steve Lienhop, the guy is fair and reliable). He even measured the door frame and steered us to Menard's to pick a style. Picked out the Alexander brown model, 32x81 inches, paid at the counter and let them know it'd be picked up. No need to borrow Dad's truck for this!

While we were at it, there was the matter of the, um, dilapidated old railing that had sheared away from the side of the house. The badly weatherstripped maroon blotch job had all the aesthetic of a lazy-eyed painter. And it was better than anything I'd have done. But now the Stevenator hatched a plan for a sturdy new termite-treated wood railing that will be ripe for a coat next spring after some curing. No more trashy-induced double-takes by visitors!

Gotta love the new bigger screen. Every inch counts in a low-flow jet stream condo. Cooler times ahead!