Significant Others

Lou Tice's advice comes at the perfect time, as I celebrate my significant other's birthday today! Since I met her over 14 years ago Dena's had lots of opportunities to steer me into being someone else - but she's a perfect match for a guy like me who thrives on freedom. Thanks babe for being the ultimate pillar of support and fountain of encouragement! A beautiful soul, and pretty doggone photogenic too if I do say so myself!

Do you ever feel that the people who are closest to you are the ones who resist the most as you try to change for the better? Sometimes, when we are committed to personal growth and change, family members or others who are close to us will do everything they can to try and get us to change back to the way we were - even when the way we were wasn't so great.

Did you ever wonder why that might be? Well, for one thing, when people are used to their lives being a certain way, any change - even when it is an improvement - can be threatening. It is also fairly common for people who are stuck in negative habits to have a hard time tolerating others who are making positive efforts toward change.

If you can convince your family to join you in your quest for personal growth, you will all have an easier time of it. You can support each other through the tough times and give each other encouragement and approval as you begin to see results. If you have to go through it alone, though, let your "significant others" in on what you are trying to do, and tell them how positive results will benefit them as well as you. Paint them a vivid word picture of what the end-result will look like, and ask for their help in achieving it.

If you don't get that help, be patient. It may take time to convince them that you are serious, and that you intend to stay close to them even though you are changing. If it ever comes down to the difficult choice between continuing a painful relationship and developing yourself as a person, remember that you always have the right to choose growth without guilt.