Two months ago I opened the courtyard screen door. It resisted my push due to a phone book lying outside of it. The weight of the phone book snagging the bottom frame caused it to dislodge. Now the frame was loose enough that whenever I opened the door, it would slip downward, turning into a bizarro doorstop. I got adept at bending over, pinning the frame with my hand, and slowly inching it closed.
Still, I couldn't help but wonder if there was another solution besides permanently curving my spine or ripping the door from its hinges and doing without.
Using all the brain cells cultivated during the week designing complex spreadsheets, I studied the frame.
It had a small screw. I twisted it for a while. It seemed like it was stripped. It used to press the frame tightly against the door. Now it just sat there looking useful but exerting zero force. (Insert joke here about movie ticket-takers or clothing store security guards.)
I began asking Dena about drills. Wisely, she presented an alternative.
"What about using a bigger screw?"
(Insert lewd joke here.)
She produced a small drawer of screws of varying sizes. I crawled to the door, removed the old one, and rooted around the drawer for a slightly larger one. Put some muscle behind a screwdriver.
And so it was that a two-month problem was solved in five minutes. Yet somehow I feel like I just balanced Illinois' budget.
(Insert top 100 jokes about Illinois politics here.)
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