A man was too foolish to realize that listening to a radio would kill his wife's car's battery. That might explain the dumb luck which saved the day.
After accompanying his wife to a meeting that ran long, she offered him the car keys to pass the extra time away.
Sitting in the quiet parking lot, he engaged the battery without starting the car so that he could listen to the radio. As dusk settled in, he lowered the windows for cool breezes and turned on the overhead lamp.
Twenty minutes later, as his wife got within a hundred feet of the car, the radio suddenly went quiet.
"I thought that was cool timing," the dunce cap nominee recalled.
Uncool, actually. She sat down, turned the key, and was greeted with the heart-dropping sound of a dead battery's irritated clicking. She flashed a look at the idiot, whose eyes grew wide.
"I could run (five miles round trip) home and get my car," brainstormed Captain Lobotomy.
She didn't need to respond to the drivel. She was pretty sure they could find someone to help jump the car.
They were at church.
Rendered mute by the overwhelming complexity of the moment, the moron wandered idly toward the front of the vehicle, staring vacuously at the empty car in the adjacent parking spot. Meanwhile, with darkness nearly upon them and the last stragglers departing the sanctuary, she saw the owner of the neighboring car walking toward them, and approached him for help.
The teenager was six foot two. Two hundred twenty five pounds, built like a football player.
He was an Eagle Scout.
He was in uniform.
Complete with kerchief and knee-length shorts.
The next few minutes were a flurry of American teamwork. Scout figured out how to unlatch the hood. Wife provided the jumper cables. Dad of Scout showed up, along with Mom of Scout and Siblings of Scout to cheer him on. Even the numbskull managed to figure out how to prop open the hood once given a long metal stick.
"I'm so thankful," she said, undoubtedly referring to the good fortune of kind-hearted souls and of having a fully-functional brain to prevent the house from being burned to a crisp, flooded with water or otherwise made uninhabitable.
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