Citizens of Normal were mystified yesterday by the appearance of a glowing orb in the sky.
"I was walking my dog outside when I noticed some long, dark shapes stretching across the ground from the base of the trees," said 68-year old Bryce Flax. "My grandfather lived in these parts all his life and used to tell stories about 'shadows' that he learned from his grandpa. We always figured he was just trying to be dramatic. But then I looked up and saw the ball in the sky."
The astrial phenomenon referred to as the "sun" by Abraham Lincoln in letters to his colleagues was reported to be clearly visible for several minutes by neighbors out washing their salt-streaked cars in between snowfalls. The multitude of sightings was aided since more people were in the elements than usual, as wind gusts had dropped below 20 mph and weather predictions had brightened to "prison wall gray cloudy" from "If Mount Saint Helens had erupted three times in a row cloudy."
Antidepressant sales nosedived throughout the day.
Air Force officials would not immediately confirm the existence of the sun, noting that a weather balloon had escaped during experimental research earlier in the day.
3 comments:
I saw the strange orb. It mysteriously made me press into my window until I had grid marks on my face in a valiant effort to attain some "light therapy" to counteract my Seasonal Affective Disorder (AKA the Eeyore syndrome) with early onset Cabin Fever.
I hear you sister. My poor neighbor suffers from SAD, as well as Maternal Affective Disorder (MAD) and Fickle Affective Disorder (FAD). Her infant was born with Tiny Affective Disorder (TAD), and her teenager was just diagnosed with Behavioral Affective Disorder (BAD) and Rebellious Affective Disorder (RAD). But she's glad for her husband Chad, who has ADD but is a fine lad. I do hear a lot of ruckus through the walls though.
I was abducted by the things that came from that orb back when I visited Roswell on my way home from this area. All I remember is walking around in a gleeful stupor for a number of days afterward. It was just like Heaven.
;)
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