Wooden Sandwiches

"I also attempted to combine a compliment with a criticism when possible. Most people don't like criticism, even when it's for their own good. An acknowledgement - praise - offered as part of the criticism reduces their resistance; for example: 'I like your aggressiveness on defense. Can I see some of that when you drive to the basket?'" -- John Wooden

At another meeting, from another speaker, I heard someone describe the "sandwich" approach to constructive feedback. For example: 'Your work's been really accurate. The only problem is the curse words in the delivery. Can you try to cut that way back, so that it matches the rest of the professionalism of your writing?' Positive-negative-positive.

The pessimistic view is that it doesn't "cut to the chase," is cowardly of the coach or misleading to the player. I think that reality is twofold. First, words are more powerful than they're given credit. A baldly negative comment is like starting a fire in the woods without proper enclosure -- that which was intended for good turns into destruction. Second, people are basically good. Pointing out fault without compliment is inaccurate in most cases.

Mixing positive with negative does require skill, though. It becomes misleading or deceptive when the two are completely disconnected.

"Nice tie Jim. How the hell did you lose the Farkinson account? At least you get to shake it off while driving home in that sweet convertible of yours."