Southern Astrology

From Dona. My possum horoscope isn't too far off!

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick on the
inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back
over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay
away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make
something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In
dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius.
Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - Mar 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the
surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the
interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and
driven as if you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is
going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (Mar 21 - April 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's
a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and
round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can
get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This
might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM (APR 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked
tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude.
Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead.
This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy, but seems to
work for you. One day, however, it won't work and you may find your
problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're always
hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the
mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living
room. You tend to be not particularly attractive physically, but you
have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in the
"melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of
those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists,
and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are
Collards, stay away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself
a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one
whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never
easy people to understand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear
surface of life. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon
Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to
huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel
though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you
like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or
eggs. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that
serves you well.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man.
Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and loved ones
- may find that your personality is much too salty, and their
criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much
softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody
you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the
road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and
stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (October 24 - Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well
with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown
on the vine of life and you feel at home no matter what the setting.
You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have
anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually
quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some
roots, fruit, worms and insects. You are a throwback. You're not
concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with
anything about today. You're really almost prehistoric in your
interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another
Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.