Joe McDonald Likes This Post

I finally caved... a Facebook friend of mine recently announced her engagement. So there are two possible responses:

1. "Comment" on the post in detail.
2. Indicate that I "like" the post.

Perhaps too weak from malnourishment, I simply clicked on the "Like" button. Instantly I became a statistic, one of six people who officially "like" what they've seen. Lest there be any confusion, or someone manages to get a Facebook account without being able to read, there's also an accompanying thumbs-up signal for comfort.

Who came up with this idea? I think it was an eighth grader who babbled so uncontrollably every time he tried to ask a girl out to the dance, he's given up. "Hi. I like you. Do whatever you want with that. I don't really care anymore."

Why hasn't this idea caught on socially? Imagine if it were acceptable at funerals to just look the bereaved in the eye and say "I liked him," then move on along. No awkward pauses, no forced dialogue, no flowcharts to explain your relation. If the line stops and you're trapped in front of the crying widow, just flash a thumbs-up to pass the time.

What kind of propaganda is this anyway? Why is "Like" the only option available for lazy or one-fingered folk? Doesn't that skew reality? Is that any different from giving all the kids on the team an All-Star trophy, even the one who mostly scored for the wrong team? What lessons are we teaching our Faceneighbors? "Gosh, everyone likes me. I've reached perfection. I must continue to kick homeless people."

And now I see that there's an "Unlike" option. Does this baffle anyone else? "I used to like this, but now I've come to my senses." These are your "friends"? Can you ever really un-friend someone? It's silly. I'm holding out until they come out with a "Declare an Enemy" feature right next to "Invite a Friend." Now that's a true social network.