Last Sunday Dena and I got free tickets to see celebrity blogsuperstars at our local Steak 'n Shake!
Fade into the McLiving Room just after church services as we two settled in for some lunch. Cue the ringer on Dena's phone, with the volume turned up loud enough to hear the unmistakable booming bass tones of the voice of Husband Freidinger, hero of the widely followed blog Adventures in Fostering Hope.
AFH has covered the capers and clutches of Husband, Jane and their merry band of dogs (Atticus, Sasha) and squirrels (Elisabeth, Kate, or "children" according to the state of Illinois) for the better part of two years. We could hardly believe our good fortune and inside information as to this surprise tour stop en route to the Constitution Trail performance for a few overheated summer-in-April miles of rollerblading/bicycling/catching-squirrels-falling-off-bicycles.
[Note: How AFH has held off from renaming itself "Tales from the Funny Farm" is an ongoing mystery to readers]
These visits always have special significance all their own - the two biological kids of Duane and Darlene, and the two goofy musical blogging puzzle-crazed wits (or is it twits?) they chose to marry. Unfailingly this buries the needle of the fun meter way into the red zone.
No one can narrate an experience with Jane's comic elegance, so I'll just lay out a bullet-point skeleton from the silly-uncle's perspective and let her fill in the cracks if she's so inclined:
- Dena sat between the girls on one side of the table. It was a genius strategy whose social insulation worked to perfection. Dena's body provided a physical barrier that negated inter-squirrel contact. Meanwhile, stationing the parents across the table caused any bolts of whinergy to discharge in parallel fashion rather than towards each other (I'm pretty sure that "crossing the streams" has a reinforcing effect, like warm and cold fronts generating tornadoes).
- Who came up with Kool-Aid milkshakes? What's next, steakburger custard?
- Darren and I talked about the local barbershop chorus and running a marathon. That is not a simultaneous concept, though it would be an extremely awesome sight.
- I was unable to talk Elisabeth into sharing her fries or mini-burgers (a kids meal delight that might disturb White Castle's patent lawyers) with me. When I can't even make it work with veiled threats involving video games, or successfully steal them, doesn't this suggest a serious flaw in her family values?
1 comment:
"Insanity" may be a more fitting term than "comedy" as that would describe my mental state when I thought it would be a fun afternoon to take two unmedicated squirrels careening into traffic on bikes while the Mama to the Drama wibble-wobbled on rollerblades that hadn't seen the light of day in 5 years. As I clutched the side rails of the rickety bridge crossing over Vernon (or whatever street is right before the "triangle"), I began to think an extended stay at a resort that ends in the word "Sanitorium" may have been more fitting. Dena, on the other hand, was the superstar champ who ran 5 miles and kept the youngest squirrel from "off-roading" into people's backyards.
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