Susan Heitler, founder of poweroftwomarriage.com which emphasizes communication skills, recommends feedback that "skips the complaining and goes straight to the explaining."
Instead of "That's not the way to saute. It will dry out the potatoes," try "Can I show you a tip my grandma taught me in sauteeing?"
Instead of "What have you been doing? You haven't picked up one thing. No one is coming over this weekend until this room is clean," try "I'd love to see your room cleaned up by this weekend so your friends can come over."
Studies showed that the single best indicator of a relapse into depression for married adults is the answer to the question "How critical is your spouse of you?" The examples above may not quite fit your personal style, but building the habit of replacing anger with love in our words may be just the right start.
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