The Snuggie

"You must create an element of uncertainty or you will lose the passion that drives the relationship." - David Lieberman

Snuggies are the parachute pants of 2009. Who couldn't love a blanket with sleeves? Seems like it should have been invented much earlier in the sequence of history, somewhere in between the cotton gin and tweed sport jackets.

Dena expressed interest in one offhandedly for some time, but I figured the fad had died down and I'd seen them in clearance displays for the last time.

After a full day of work I stopped off at Kroger to fetch some de-icer for her car, which took a sick day thanks to a nasty case of frozen doors. Since I also loaded up with some groceries and avoid using a cart at all costs, my arms were full when my gaze fell smack onto a single, lonely Snuggie box on display! It confuses me why they have photos of beautiful models wearing these things, since they hang like fat suits off of people and the marketing wizards could save a whole lot of money by just throwing it on some cab driver. The leopard-print design can't be helping.

When I got home I announced that Santa had brought an early Christmas present home. Dena asked if she needed to come up and I pondered a second before saying that I'd bring it down. And wouldn't you know it, as I walked down the stairs hiding the present I came upon the sight of Dena absolutely bundled to the hilt! Sweatshirt. Blankets. Boots, even. Seems she was in a mortal battle with the furnace, refusing to give in and turn up the thermostat all day long. So when I slipped into my most professional announcer voice and said "If you think you're warm NOW, just imagine how warm you would be in a SNUGGIE!" she burst out in gleeful laughter that would have shamed a roomful of clowns. At least until she put it on and they realized they were better dressed.