Once every few years State Farm renews and updates its database of amateur talent for training videos and other digital marketing masterpieces. So it was that I entered the new building and signed my life away for the uberfriendly people at the greeting table.
Back to a room filled with modern desk-winged chairs like you'd see in college, only corporation-quality. I showed up during the eighth out of nine hours of the open house. I had the option to audition just for audio roles, but was happy to open up to video as well. I was the 169th person to sign in, which I imagine is about a tenth the number of people who apply for the average job in Hollywood.
I had a minute to skim the script given me, which would also be on teleprompter during the taping. Another gleeful woman took me back to the first room, which was the home of some type of fake drivers license project. That gave me a chance to warm up my facial muscles with a few goofy expressions. Lord knows where they might appear...
On to the video room. I drew upon the skills learned at my masters voice-over class to provide my best shot at an expressive yet poised reading of an introduction for a show based on Suds Man, who evidently heroically defends the cleanliness of some laundromat. The videographer and other woman in charge reacted with the kind of enthusiasm and wonderment to be expected from someone processing their 169th customer.
The ultimate feedback, of course, would be a call back. They asked for not only my work but also my home number. I can just imagine an emergency ring in the middle of the night: "Joe, we've got a 5 a.m. deadline for this male-female training video, James Earl Jones just cancelled and we've no one to pair with Jennifer Aniston. Help!" A mess that not even Suds Man can clean up. This is a job for Captain Baritone!
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