Condo Meeting Minutes

As you can imagine, having 32 people sharing living quarters causes its share of subtle and not-so-subtle tensions. Although I'm the association treasurer, this month I subbed in as secretary.

Board Minutes
July 13, 2010

Meeting was called to order at 7:35

Security/Compliance:

Recently a car was vandalized in a nearby parking lot. Vern, will you please cut it out?

Neighbors, please do not just park your car in the middle of the narrow driveway. For hours at a time. Your car is not made of smoke, and we can't get out if you leave it there. Don't make us call Vern.

Pool

Recently there were scary people in the pool. With glass bottles. And cutoff shorts. They left the gate unlocked. They were unshaven. We think they had knives. We weren't about to make eye contact. We'll just post a copy of the pool rules out there, pray they can read, and program the police's phone number into our speed dial.

Also, the inspector came by. He's mean.

Sewer/Gutters

Water is seeping into unit #22. We think it might be because the gutter is split in two and so water is pouring straight down into the ground. But we are not experts. We will get an estimate from someone in the yellow pages. What do you look under? "Gutterer"? Sounds like someone who cleans fish. Which might solve the other problem in #22's basement.

Landscaping

A motion was made by a guest from unit #26 to pass a resolution denouncing the idiots who voted to cut down the pretty tree in the corner of the yard. His daughter had his prom picture taken by that tree. Motion failed 7-0. A motion was made to cover unit #26's picture window with tar. Motion carried 7-0.

Sharon will get bids on patio pavers, to place in mulched areas for easier walking. It was also suggested that they may be durable enough to place near the driveway where the sod gets worn by tire tracks. A motion was made to test their durability by smashing them against unit #26's mailbox. Motion carried 7-0.

Clare asked if it would be legal to plant some bushes near the street. Everyone did that thing where you look at someone else so that you don't have to admit you don't know, nor do you feel like you have to volunteer to research it. After sufficient awkward silence, someone changed the subject.

Financial/Legal

Our treasurer is awesome. Did you know he blogs? Motion was made to award a big bonus to him. Motion failed 6-1.

Question was raised regarding FHA loans. Are those for poor people, or for all people? If for poor people, we don't want them. If for all people, we should go out of our way to enable them, right? Or are we pretty much content with those three "For Sale" signs that have been sitting out there for six months, screaming "BIG problems here! Is the place haunted? Termites? Scurvy?"

Question was asked as to who is responsible for replacing torn window screens. This is a big deal, since it costs at least, you know, $10 to replace one. Shocker: The unit owner, not the association. Of course you do realize that since you are part of the association, then if the association paid for it, then all units would chip in - you guessed it - $10 to fill the fund. Because it's just not physically possible for a governing body to bail out a problem with invisible funds that... um... what's next on the agenda?

Condo Clean-Up Day

Our semi-annual cleaning of the grounds will take place on November 6, with rain date November 13. We will bag up leaves, sweep dirt off sidewalks and into trash cans, collect loose rocks, and hurl them at unit #26.

Meeting adjourned at 8:35.