"One Bottle A Year" Plan Draws Mixed Response

A recent commercial in support of the environment pointed out that each year Americans use 39 billion plastic bottles. That's enough to wrap around the earth 190 times, and creative visuals showed chains of used bottles lying in a strip of litter through oceans and neighborhoods.

All 300 million U.S. men, women and children would consume 130 bottles per year in order to do their part (a lot to ask of infants unable to support even the weight of their own head).

Meanwhile, a local resident is deep into a plan to reduce waste by making a single, 50-ounce plastic bottle last for an entire year.

The movement began innocently enough when he found the need for a super-dose of water during a Chicago studio recording session. Ambling next door to the discount supermarket with all the bars in the windows, he reached for the largest container he could find - a rainbow-labeled tower of a bottle that quenched the thirst and beyond.

Believing that 100 ounces per day was an ideal personal target, the inadvertent find became a valuable tool in weekend health maintenance once the silly label was removed.

Slender and nearly a foot tall, the bottle is hard to overlook.

"Even though I wouldn't describe myself as a fan of tap water, or water at all, they say that juices and sodas don't necessarily hydrate. So in the morning I try to fill it up so that when I get home from work it's instantly ready to go, washing down dinner and snacks."

Or in some cases, washing down the living room carpet, opponents of the environmental boon are quick to highlight.

"It wobbles too much," noted a local advocate. "The base is misshapen, probably from being exposed to more extreme heat and cold," she detailed accurately. Indeed, there have been multiple flooding incidents since the November launch. "It's tall enough that it's easy to bump over."

The environmental champion readily concedes that spill risk is at its highest when the bottle is rested on the floor, near the sofa or recliner within easy reach. Just slightly easier than, say, the coffee table that's ten inches away.

The man, now an expert in floor mopping, added "It is just water though. Stain-free, easy to clean."

Patrons in each camp marvel at the lack of mudslinging in this debate, as both sides have modeled civility in a political powder keg of an issue.

"At least it has a cap now," she adds, having supplied a replacement for the one he threw away in error.

"I suppose I ought to buy one with a wider base next time," he agreed.

Elsewhere, a group of high school students pledged to consume an additional 129 fun-sized bottles of Gatorade to fill the waste gap.