Local authorities were notified of ruckus in the woods of Congerville on Sunday evening that fueled rumors of a Jonesville-like commune.
A series of vehicles were observed turning onto a gravel road at approximately 5:00 p.m. under cloak of a blinding late afternoon sun before disappearing into the thickets.
Civilians noted the diversity of travelers, sufficient to create a multi-generational cult capable of masterminding unspeakably sinister plans.
"Vanloads of 'em," explained Barely Wettstein. "Musta been twenty kids, buncha grownups, couple grandparent-types."
"Heard some dogs out there," noted Lousy Knapp. "Singing too. Awful nightmare stuff."
"Pretty sure a giant lives out there," added Goferb Rokey. "Seen 'em coming in and out of the woods most ever day."
Police tried to investigate the area, but the driveway was impassably thick with rocks.
"Got within a hunnert yards or so," said Sgt. Cheep Wiegand. "There was this old beat-up hovel on the right side of the road, kind that ghosts might be a-hauntin'. Then I seen these enormous black beasts runnin' around this house out yonder. Ain't worth my momma's hide to go no further."
Later reports describing a post-dusk mass exodus were unconfirmed at press time.
2 comments:
Joe. Writing or stand up....either or both are in your future, or they should be!
I'm dying laughing right now!!
Well, you forget to mention Billy Bob Dingledine and Bubba Sauder and his wife Jo Ella Sue-Bob but other than that, sounds accurate. Complete with arm wrestling tournaments and everything. And that's just the women!
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