Great Inquisition

Dena served in the Agape Chapel as part of the Great Banquet Christian retreat last weekend. The Agape ("Love") Chapel does lots of praying for the weekend's participants and speakers, general building maintenance, and serving as receiving dock for "agape" gifts for the participants (cards, notes, handmade trinkets). She was invited to join the 5-person chapel by Karen Reginelli. As part of some surprise agape for Dena, her husband delivered her the transcript of an interview with Karen, somehow squeezed in between the time the retreat ended and Dena arrived home.

Joe McDonald: So the weekend is over. Dena McDonald was projected to do big things. How’d it go?

Karen Reginelli: She was great. She did everything we asked her to do. She did things we didn’t ask her to do.

JM: Did she do anything you specifically asked her not to do?

KR: (Hesitates) No.

JM: You hesitated there. What are you hiding?

KR: Shock, mainly. I can’t figure why you’d ask that.

JM: Would you rank her performance as top five?

KR: Out of the five in the Agape Chapel, you mean?

JM: What is it about Dena that separates her from the competition?

KR: What do you mean, “competition”? I don’t follow. If you’re asking why she was such a valuable Chapel member, it’s because she’s always looking for a need to fill. She serves herself after everyone else. She smiles and does all she can to make people feel comfortable, no matter how little sleep she’s running on.

JM: Spin the question any way you want. I’m just trying to get the real story.

KR: Have you considered sending me a real reporter?

JM: Your dislike of the media is well-known.

KR: Which paper are you with again?

JM: Your reputation for scheduling an entire weekend in 15-minute increments drives people to distraction. How do you respond to the “Taskmaster” nickname?

KR: Since no one else calls me that, I respond with silence, and by checking messages on my phone as if you’re not here.

JM: How successful would you say this weekend was?

KR: (Silence, checking phone)

JM: You had 36 pilgrims in attendance. What kind of snits arose from that overcrowding?

KR: (Not looking up) Guests, not pilgrims. (Snickers)

JM: Dena was an Agape Chapel rookie. How did it show?

KR: She seemed unusually happy to be there, even for a rookie. It was almost as if she felt free from something. Phony antagonistic journalism, maybe. If she was feeling any stress, it didn’t show. Obviously she lives with a philosophy of working hard and treating others kindly. That’s what showed.

JM: So you’re telling me that she made no big mistakes?

KR: Just the one I’m looking at.

JM: Do you have any other comment about Dena?

KR: She’s the nicest person in McLean County. And you’re the luckiest, for reasons only God knows.

JM: De colores to that.

KR: I rest my case.