One of the cool things about New York was the diversity - the languages, ages, shapes, smells and fashions. That's why crosswalks are so fascinating. I found the citizens to be surprisingly obedient while waiting for trucks, cabs, bicycles and other modes of transport to shoot through the intersection. We pedestrians are left to stand there patiently, accumulating in a random mass of humanity, staring across at each other waiting to engage like troops assembling on the field of battle. As if when that light turns green an all-out turf war will erupt as each block tries to conquer the other.
We'd have less than sixty seconds to devise our strategy, which would be challenging even if the army sizes weren't in constant flux.
"How many have we got? Thirteen?
Wait, construction guy, which street are you crossing, north or east? Oh, just taking a smoke break.
You with the bikes-for-rent sign. Nice blunt object. You in?
Hey, suit with briefcase. See their tall guy with the umbrella? You got him. Go for the knees.
Asian grandma, see anyone you can take?
Tight-shorted Central Park jogger, you lead the way. That ought to scatter their ranks for all kinds of reasons.
OK, Swedish college chicks. They got two with the rolling luggage, see? Steer 'em toward the grates! No wait, they just went down into the subway. Um... see what you can do against the three models with the overloaded shopping bags, you outweigh them.
Hot pretzel muncher, hurry! You've got the Elton John look-alike.
Shoot, they gotta have twenty people over there now!
Aimless drifter, over-tattooed lady, weird-scarf guy, you flank them on the left. Football lineman and I will blast a wedge into the guys en route to make a rap video. Jockey who last flossed in 1982 will go after the tourists from Indiana.
GREEN LIGHT! CHAAAARGE!"
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