Friday, October 3, 2014

Apologizing Your Way To Success

"If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically." - Carnegie

I know little about foreign countries, but I have come to believe that America must be internationally competitive both in its power to condemn and its power to forgive.

There's a familiar arc for famous athletes like Kobe Bryant, scorned during an accused rape trial, and these days restored to his near-Jordan eliteness. Or Lebron James, a pariah when he deserted Cleveland for Miami, and now lauded for his homecoming.

Then there's Tiger Woods, whose domestic incidents seem to never have quite fully healed, in part because his game continues to lag his previous standards. Or Alex Rodriguez, the once-golden boy now an easy target by the press.

I think a key difference is the humility, the selflessness that each athlete has achieved over time. And few things go as far in this department as earnestly apologizing for your mistakes. Those who do it well recover. Those who don't...

As a side note, I do find that in my circles (and in particular around the students I teach) the phrase "I'm sorry" has been replaced with "My bad." There's a subtle difference there - the first conveying remorse, the second admitting an error. The first, to use Carnegie's word, is a bit more emphatic (or at least more empathetic).

Humility is the foundation of trust. Mistakes are a foundation of humanity. Apologizing is a universal bridge to get from the latter to the former.

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