Funny Excuses For Missing School

A typical day at the office - I've had three students cancel their tutoring appointments, which got me hunting for a list of excuses.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please exkuce Pam for being absent from skool.  She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please exscuse Cecil being absent on June 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Marvin from Physical Education lessons for a few days.  Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Ray was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Bethan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Eddie for being.  It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wears.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.  We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday.  He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.