Thursday, October 16, 2014

Weeble Weightlifters: What A Waist

I am a bit mystified by men at the gym who have achieved massively muscled chests and arms by devouring so much food that their waist is comically larger.

It reminds me of toys called Weebles from years ago. "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down" was the incredible and true claim. These were egg-shaped beings an inch tall, and so heavily weighted toward the bottom that if you tipped them over they would immediately rebound to the upright position.

They were remarkable. And given that their faces, chins and upper torsos were merely painted decals on a one-dimensional tiny surface, more than a little creepy-looking despite the best efforts of the Taiwanese artists that skillfully crafted them.

Honestly, the gym guys cast the same goose-pimply effect. How much do they have to eat to forge a stomach that size? And what is the motivation? "After I eat this fifty-third Snickers bar I'll just spend an extra hour in thy gym so that passers-by on the street will be entranced by my biceps instead of the fact that my gut just knocked them into a building. It will help that I am wearing a sleeveless T-shirt while it's snowing. And that if they laugh at me, I could squish them into a cup with a flick of my Hulk-wrist.

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