Friday, July 4, 2008

Non-Terrorist Nearly Kills Movie Outing

A maintenance man mistaken by an observer for a terrorist caused a wave of panic in the McDonald family as a crucial movie outing was tragically delayed.

At 4:30, State Farm loudspeakers announced that weather conditions required emergency evacuation procedures to be followed. Noting puzzlingly clear skies above, Joe headed through the Corporate atrium in anticipation of a 6:00 dinner & movie date with Dena, Troy, Dona, Kelsey and Lane. The scene his eyes found was unlike any he'd ever seen.

Instead of employees drifting out the door to kick off the holiday weekend, there was a crowd near the doors being directed for calm by an official-looking man. When Joe saw two officers with guns at the ready, instinct kicked in.

"I might be late for dinner," he thought gravely.

Some 2,000 employees were herded hastily into the basement, as the rumor mill churned out a report that a camoflauged man with an assault rifle had been spotted in the executive tower. Minions and executives alike huddled in the underground tunnels, gripped by the thought that it was all a mistake.

Resourcefully, Joe got word that a nearby office had a land line, and phoned Dena's voice mail urgently. His voice held the tone of a man who might be speaking to his wife for the last time this hour.

"If I'm not there," he said, "go on to dinner without me, and I'll meet up with you there."

As the minutes stretched into an hour, emotions intensified. Infested with sugar fueled by a complimentary pop cart, cries of laughter and banter about weekend plans reached fever pitch.

Then, in a flash, it was over. The public address system blared that video surveillance had revealed a maintenance man carrying a length of pipe. Convinced that this was less than a red level threat, all were dismissed.

No comments: