Saturday, November 13, 2010

Nobel Prize-Winning Dissident

That phrase caught my eye in a headline, recognizing a woman recently back in public after staying at home for over seven years. Couldn't they have stopped at "Nobel Prize winner"? Perhaps "Nobel Prize-winning woman"? "Nobel Prize-winning accountant"? But no.

"Hi, I'm Mary McJagger. I disagree with people. Your shirt's awful, by the way."

Wish I could've attended her Nobel Prize acceptance speech. But she probably rejected the invitation anyway.

Her parents might've made her go to Catholic confession.

"Hello, Father."

"Welcome, child. When was your last confession?"

"How's that any of your business?"

"I'm sorry. Please continue."

"Word to the wise: kids don't like being called 'child.'"

"I meant, please continue your confession."

"I confess that this booth smells like grandma."

"Would you like to be forgiven for any sins today?"

"First you tell me yours."

"I'm afraid that's not how it works. Mmph. Please give me back my collar. Please do not draw a smiley face on it."

"Hands off me! Sinner!"

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