Louey's Italian Restaurant closed Monday after just three months of operation.
"Sometimes these things happen," said owner Lou Magget of his first business venture.
The grand opening was marred by a misunderstanding by a printer which resulted in the word "Lousy" atop the menus. Menu selections with unusual labels like "Leftover Lasagna," "Stringy Linguini," "Monsterccoli" and "Mystery Soup" failed to attract the public with its self-proclaimed "edginess."
More desperate strategies to increase traffic included the ill-fated "Men Eat Free Saturdays," "Pay What You'd Like" dinner hours, "No Tips Tuesday," "Bring Your Pet To Dinner" and "Serve Yourself" specials, resulting in long lines, employee turnover and morbid financial results.
Restocking the wait staff with lower salaried foreign exchange students proved a disastrous attempt to cut costs, as did weekly floor cleanings and an increasing number of microwave-based food selections.
The owner announced plans for a new fast-food restaurant. "If you don't succeed once, you do it again," he said.
Magget's Burgers is slated to open in 2011.
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