Freidinger Traded To McDonalds As Advisor

The McDonalds acquired sister-in-law Jane Freidinger in a trade late Sunday night, filling a major household gap as a live-in personal advisor.

The McDonalds have generally flourished since their founding in 1998. Joe's stable income, affinity for figures, organization and leadership complement well Dena's entrepreneurial ambition, servant heart, artistic eye, mechanical aptitude and interest in actually decorating the walls.

The resulting happiness and shirts that don't clash with pants have branded the franchise's image with widely recognizable success.

Still, like any enduring team, the owners were aware of their weaknesses and targeted them for continuous improvement.

"I like to read," Joe said, "Sometimes I could use a good book referral."

"Plus," said the man who bought his first iPod Nano this year and whose cell phone came off the shelf at Kroger, "I'm a few steps behind on technology."

As a possible solution they scouted Jane, who had joined the Freidingers in 2002 after starting her career with the Knoblochs. Since then the multi-talented player-manager actually contributed to both teams through the expansion of a family home warranty business and the development of two promising young Freidinger rookies.

Following her brilliant recommendations of the book "Same Kind of Different as Me" and the Cisco wireless router, Joe contacted Husband Freidinger and aggressively pursued trade options.

"Jane's a perfect fit for our team," McDonald added, noting the similarity of her sharp-witted writing style and sense of humor to those of her new mates.

Negotiating an attractive deal was delicate because of the loss of her leadership in the clubhouse, because her lifetime contract had no opt-out clause, and because the McDonalds have no spare bedroom.

"Dena's been meaning to get a futon for a while," Joe said, "but the couch is still very comfy. When you've bought Sauder Furniture, you've bought quality built to last."

Under the terms of the agreement, her permanent residence shifts to Normal. Keeping with her trend of supporting prior teams, she will continue her work in the Knobloch family business. She also retains her legal name and status as mother and wife, rejecting McDonald's proposal to establish dependency for tax purposes. The Freidingers lose her mothering services as she begins her consulting role with her new team, but will see a bottom-line boost as her entire income is directed to Goodfield, while the McDonalds cover her living expenses.

Concerns over the recreation of the young Freidingers were resolved when the McDonalds threw in a Wii game system and a serious supply of sedatives.

"We'll miss her," Husband admitted. "She's been an important asset for us. But families are first and foremost a business, and in the end this was an arrangement that was good business for all parties involved."

"I love Mommy," Kate sniffed with pouty and quivering lips. "Hey, is that a Wii? Yay! I wanna play boxing! I want the guy with the red gloves!"

"No, I want to be the guy with the red gloves!" Elisabeth added, moments before Husband's storming entrance with a straight jacket ended the interview early.

Ironically, Jane's counsel on wireless routers becomes self-serving in support of her new work environment. And despite leaving the place she'd known as home for seven years, she couldn't help but concede the win-win deal:

"I'd been developing early arthritis from all this corn-rowing, beading, twisting, and braiding of 'ethnic' girl hair. To think now that it can manifest naturally through good old-fashioned carpal tunnel syndrome is exciting."

She also expressed plans to partner with Husband and the rookies (an additional call-up is expected soon) to social functions such as family parties and church.