Sign Me Up

"No we're not homosexuals, but we are willing to learn." - Russell Ziskey

I've never paid much attention to astrological signs, but when I heard Kate Pierson announce herself a Taurus during the B52s Song for a Future Generation I was intrigued. Mainly because she's my favorite band member, for reasons I couldn't put my finger on.

Onward to Wikipedia!

The first thing that I spied was that it's considered a negative or introvert sign. Ditto Cancer (Mom), Virgo (Dad), Scorpio, Capricorn or Pisces.

Taurus (roughly April 20 to May 21) is also an earth sign. What are these folks like?

- They show propriety. They are conventional, proper and fitting. (Yep)
- They follow what is socially acceptable in conduct, behavior and speech. (Yep)
- They have excellent manners and are very polite. (Sort of)
- They are prudent and have a deep regard for conventional rules of behavior. (Yep, they put me in a tax department for a reason)
- The Earth signs by nature are merchants. They are the storekeepers, barterers and traders. They are at their best when buying or selling material or tangible commodities. (Nope, remember that introvert thing? Unless fantasy baseball counts. Then absolutely yes.)
- Most are very business oriented. (Yep)
- They have a physical nature. (Yep)
- They have a characteristic love for the material, tangible things. (Sort of. Freedom tops my value list, which requires sufficient cash)
- They derive pleasure from sensory stimulation such as taste, smell and feel. (Who doesn't? "Please keep that cake away from me. It tastes too good.")
- They surround themselves with tangible and material items such as fine furniture, art and jewelry; most have a nice home that is meticulous and expertly decorated. (Double nope! Meticulous maybe. I'm neat, but not necessarily clean and definitely not fancy.)
- They have good taste in clothing and most are connoisseurs of food and drink. (Average taste. Food connoisseur? My friends are all doubled over with laughter as they read that.)
- Their emotions are aroused by sensory stimulation. Each of the five senses can produce an emotional response. Sight, sound, touch, smell and taste brings both joy or depression. (Again, who doesn't?)
- Nice peaceful surroundings, lively music, quality crafted materials, pleasant smelling tasty foods as well as financial security are all conditions required for an emotionally happy stable Earth sign. (Pretty much, yep)
- They are normally not prone to physical violence, however, as in any situation. (Yep)

Taurus is compatible with the other earth signs of Virgo and Capricorn and the water signs of Cancer (Dona), Scorpio and Pisces.

Now I see "Leo and Aquarius are signs of the other nature (masculine/extroverted), but are considered semi-compatible with Taurus..."

So the good news is that I am at least semi-compatible with my wife (Dena the Leo), though I'm at least slightly puzzled by the reference to her being masculine and extroverted. Yes, she is the one most likely to fix something with her hands around the house. But she's as likely to get on stage with a microphone as she is to chop off her thumbs.

The other glaring omission is any compatibility with Aries. No one in the universe is as compatible with me as Jack. How else would you describe a relationship that guarantees tears of laughter within any conversation lasting longer than 20 minutes? So far I've been pretty impressed with this astrology, but this just burns me. Excuse me while I go inflict some physical violence.